THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[IBelieve]

I'm half-way to my 30 day goal! I'm 100% sure that I will make it. She leaves for vacation soon and will be gone for a month. That will really help me. I've been investing my time (and money...lol) into new hobbies which really helps. I still think about her a lot more than I'd like to admit but I feel the thoughts are 'healthier' than they were before.

 

I am not really feeling jealous about her dating someone else. Having her deleted from facebook and blocked everywhere else really helps. If I were still getting updates on her I would probably have gone insane by now.

 

Note to self however: Stay away from chick flicks. I watched one last night on TV and I cried so much during it. The crying wasn't the kind of crying that I did during the first few months after the breakup, it was more because I missed having a close romantic relationship with someone. I even cried during the mushy romantic scenes.. lol. How embarrassing.

 

Overall, I really feel like I have made a huge improvement since I started NC. We will see how the next 15 days go.

[Cat76]

Thanks for the encouragement SG and cl76

 

I'm starting again today. I'm going out for the day so that should keep me occupied.

[pace of ace]

Day 11

 

Feel mixture of empowerment and sadness today. I feel great i'm finally doing what i should have done a long time ago and i feel next to no desire to reach out to my ex for some comforting words or to feel her love. But i do feel desire to talk to her, laugh with her and be with her. I still love her very much and i know that isn't going away anytime soon.

 

But i have to look after number 1 and it's been a long time coming but i feel i am on the path to healing whilst also allowing my ex to realise the consequence of her actions... i.e losing me from her life.

 

Longest i've made this nc thing is 13 days so i'm not far off that.

[Ixtapa]

Im fine...just wish I could stop thinking and wondering about him. I bet he does not waste his time thinking about me....

[cl76]

Thanks for the encouragement SG and cl76

 

I'm starting again today. I'm going out for the day so that should keep me occupied.

 

Hey no probs Cat76. Good luck with it.

 

I'm on DAY 2 now again thanks to my ex contacting me yesterday (after 21 days NC). To be honest I wish she didn't bother as it just gives me the sh1ts having to reply back in a friendly/positive tone via email. It was about practical house matters so I couldn't ignore it and appear rude.

 

But it's all part of the plan. Must play your cards right in order to have a shot at winning your ex back. But I'm actually thinking that by the time I'm ready to face her again I probably wont give a damn about reconciling.

[cl76]

Im fine...just wish I could stop thinking and wondering about him. I bet he does not waste his time thinking about me....

 

Your obsessing over what he is thinking/doing will drive you insane.

 

If you think of him as being DEAD to you, you will be able to accept that it is over and you can move on. Don't waste your NC time. You need this time to get your life back together, while he needs it to stop being angry at you and start missing you.

 

There is another thread somewhere that discusses how the dumper often feels RELIEF at leaving the relationship. After that they feel much GUILT. 6-8 weeks later they really start to miss you but only if you leave them alone completely.

[uj2004]

Day 26

 

Doing ok, and a little bit proud that I have made it this far, reasonably easily. Have not come close to breaking.

 

 

There is another thread somewhere that discusses how the dumper often feels RELIEF at leaving the relationship. After that they feel much GUILT. 6-8 weeks later they really start to miss you but only if you leave them alone completely.

 

I hope my ex feels the guilt soon, she bloody should, what she put me through.

[Ixtapa]

 

There is another thread somewhere that discusses how the dumper often feels RELIEF at leaving the relationship. After that they feel much GUILT. 6-8 weeks later they really start to miss you but only if you leave them alone completely.

 

That is why I have decided to keep doing NC for the next 60 days. I figured that 30 days is not enough time for him to start to actually miss me...

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 8

 

Know for a fact she's back home with her family right now (the homesick type, and she finished up for Easter at uni yesterday so its a definite). I'll be back on Tues, I just hope I don't bump into her, not ready for that yet.

 

But aside from that I'm full of energy today. Like I'm about to burst. I need to do something fun. Now!

[ScorpiGal83]

Thanks for the encouragement SG and cl76

 

I'm starting again today. I'm going out for the day so that should keep me occupied.

 

You can do it!! Find something that takes up a lot of time and energy, it's really great for keeping your mind off he ex.

 

Karaoke keeps me very busy and let's me vent when I'm belting out songs

[LemonCheesecak]

You can do it!! Find something that takes up a lot of time and energy, it's really great for keeping your mind off he ex.

 

Karaoke keeps me very busy and let's me vent when I'm belting out songs

 

Haha doesn't everyone else around you get a bit bewildered if you suddenly start getting really into it? You know what I mean, on your knees, one hand in the air, microphone nearly in your digestive tract, going red in the face from screaming at the top of your lungs....no? Just me? Oh well

[4dogs]

day 2

 

eh, I feel alright today. Im able to stop checking her AIM profile and trying to see her facebook and whatnot. In the morning though I always, ALWAYS feel like * * * * .

 

Its just hard not thinking that she is going to realize and come begging eventually because that is what EVERYONE around me is saying...

 

If she does, Ill be prepared to tell her what I need to say

[LemonCheesecak]

day 2

 

eh, I feel alright today. Im able to stop checking her AIM profile and trying to see her facebook and whatnot. In the morning though I always, ALWAYS feel like * * * * .

 

Its just hard not thinking that she is going to realize and come begging eventually because that is what EVERYONE around me is saying...

 

If she does, Ill be prepared to tell her what I need to say

 

I'm with you on this one, I know people are only trying to help by telling me what I want to hear but I'd prefer them to be much more realistic. And the mornings do get easier, just hang in there. It's all about making most of the days where you don't hurt, and learning to find other things to focus on the days you do.

[FriendnorFoe]

I actually find that the nights are the hardest, during the day I have all these resposiblities like work and school, going to the store to get some soap and usually have to engage in conversing with people, this takes my mind off things, but when I am alone in my room at night this is when I feel most vulnerable and lonely.

[createhappiness]

24 Days

 

Feeling that the sadness has and will be with me for some time, but now that I have the ex out of the equation and almost a month NC, I finally have more energy and strength to conquer my own inner turmoil, to focus on my independent life. He's no longer my problem. I am in control now. That's the beauty of NC.

[4dogs]

I'm with you on this one, I know people are only trying to help by telling me what I want to hear but I'd prefer them to be much more realistic. And the mornings do get easier, just hang in there. It's all about making most of the days where you don't hurt, and learning to find other things to focus on the days you do.

 

well, it doesnt really upset me because I think they are all being completely realistic...no one is saying she definitely will, but being that she is having such a hard time moving on and has already contacted me...most people are being very optimistic. I just have to remember to take everything with a grain of salt. I still believe the odds are in my favor, but its going to come to the point where I decide if I still care.

[Aeryn]

Crap.

 

Well, after 13 days of NC, I broke it just a few minutes ago. I swear, it was an accident.

 

For the past 3 days, I've had the urge to contact him. I've restrained myself from doing so, however. I'd write up texts or emails, then save them to my drafts. I did the same thing earlier today...only, I forgot to exit out of the message completely, and I had another text message come in, went to check it, and hit the "send" button.

 

I didn't mean to.

 

Luckily, however, my text wasn't a desperate or needy one. I'm gonna regret having this sent out so bad. Good thing is, I'm pretty sure he will not respond...so I wont feel "disappointed" if I don't get a response from it.

 

Stupid me. No more saving messages to my drafts!!!

[uj2004]

Crap.

 

Well, after 13 days of NC, I broke it just a few minutes ago. I swear, it was an accident.

 

For the past 3 days, I've had the urge to contact him. I've restrained myself from doing so, however. I'd write up texts or emails, then save them to my drafts. I did the same thing earlier today...only, I forgot to exit out of the message completely, and I had another text message come in, went to check it, and hit the "send" button.

 

I didn't mean to.

 

Luckily, however, my text wasn't a desperate or needy one. I'm gonna regret having this sent out so bad. Good thing is, I'm pretty sure he will not respond...so I wont feel "disappointed" if I don't get a response from it.

 

Stupid me. No more saving messages to my drafts!!!

 

Ouch, that's gotta be very frustrating.

 

I am at a point of no return now, on Day 27. If I give in, I will never find out if she really cares anymore. If I stick with it, then she either contacts me, or she doesn't, but at least I will know what I mean/meant.

[jasav1]

Crap.

 

Well, after 13 days of NC, I broke it just a few minutes ago. I swear, it was an accident.

 

For the past 3 days, I've had the urge to contact him. I've restrained myself from doing so, however. I'd write up texts or emails, then save them to my drafts. I did the same thing earlier today...only, I forgot to exit out of the message completely, and I had another text message come in, went to check it, and hit the "send" button.

 

I didn't mean to.

 

Luckily, however, my text wasn't a desperate or needy one. I'm gonna regret having this sent out so bad. Good thing is, I'm pretty sure he will not respond...so I wont feel "disappointed" if I don't get a response from it.

 

Stupid me. No more saving messages to my drafts!!!

 

Why will he not respond?

 

That's my greatest problem -I know my ex will always respond. I know in 5 years I could call her up and it would still be like we're the bestest of friends. If you've read my story, you'd see that there isn't actually a 'true' reason as to why we have broken up, just one of those things. She's reached a point where I think she feels she hasn't experienced enough guys to know if I am 'the one'. Well, to be honest, I'm all she knows, I'm her first guy in every sense. I'm confident she'll regret this decision, I'm just not sure if it will be in 6 months or 6 years.

[Aeryn]

Why will he not respond?

 

That's my greatest problem -I know my ex will always respond. I know in 5 years I could call her up and it would still be like we're the bestest of friends. If you've read my story, you'd see that there isn't actually a 'true' reason as to why we have broken up, just one of those things. She's reached a point where I think she feels she hasn't experienced enough guys to know if I am 'the one'. Well, to be honest, I'm all she knows, I'm her first guy in every sense. I'm confident she'll regret this decision, I'm just not sure if it will be in 6 months or 6 years.

 

I'm glad you hold so much confidence. And I hope you're right...I hope she does regret her decision someday. And I hope you have a very positive outcome in the end--whether it be with her or not.

 

As for him not responding. It's just something I know, deep down. There's no clear-cut reason as to why he will not respond; he just wont. I guess he holds too much pride in himself. He's firmly stated that he does not want me, he does not want a relationship with any woman, he'd rather spend all time with friends and family, etc. I believe every word of it, as hard as it is.

 

Like you, I have confidence too. I'm sure he will eventually regret leaving me; but he will never have the courage to tell me he made a mistake, and he will never have the courage to try and rekindle things--even if he wanted.

[journeynow]

24 Days

 

Feeling that the sadness has and will be with me for some time, but now that I have the ex out of the equation and almost a month NC, I finally have more energy and strength to conquer my own inner turmoil, to focus on my independent life. He's no longer my problem. I am in control now. That's the beauty of NC.

 

createhappiness,

That's great. You're an inspiration!

[Aeryn]

Eh. I guess I was wrong about one thing...

 

He just replied back. He probably shouldn't have, seeing as how his response was just, "Ok."

 

Other than that, I know for a fact--100%--that everything else I said is/was true.

[Jabbe]

Everything is still going fine.

 

I just don't think it's such a good idea to actually hangout with other people who are going through a divorce/separation. It made me automatically place false judgement on my situation, and feelings started to bubble up.

 

Those feelings are just an illusion, so I'll continue to take care of and be strong for myself!

 

I'm not gonna relapse. No way!

[createhappiness]

createhappiness,

That's great. You're an inspiration!

 

aww thanks! i have been inspired by so many on here too! good luck to you, journeynow. it's a difficult road we all travel, isn't it? the toughest i've ever had in my life. but, i believe there's a pot of gold at the end of it for all of us

[ScorpiGal83]

Haha doesn't everyone else around you get a bit bewildered if you suddenly start getting really into it? You know what I mean, on your knees, one hand in the air, microphone nearly in your digestive tract, going red in the face from screaming at the top of your lungs....no? Just me? Oh well

 

ahahaha... well I don't go THAT crazy really, but I have friends who are just as nutso about karaoke and it just so happened that two of them just got dumped!! Haha.. so we were singing Mr Brightside by the Killers last night complete with jumping pogoing and headbanging GOD it was good!!!

 

Day 17

 

Ho hum. Went to the gym this morning, ran for 9 minutes straight (a record for non-athletic me) and then one hour of body combat class, followed by 30 mins of weights. I feel good, but working out makes me horny, and I haven't a boyfriend to take my horniness out on. *sigh*