THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[tujna]

Still on Day 8

 

I wish time could go faster. Toughest day was the 7th so far! Everything else seems like a piece of cake. Unfortunately, I am unable to concentrate on my studies and finals are approaching Someone tell me the easier times are coming soon!!

[twomonks]

tujna,

 

i have WASTED SO MUCH time this school year since my breakup. i will just be happy to pass this semester. its been hard and i don't have any advice as to how to focus. i read somewhere a suggestion that you establish times in the day when you can mope and think about your ex.. and then work on other things .. such as school. hasn't worked for me!

 

all my energy has gone into NC.. spending time on ENA and reading, writing tons. but its getting down to the crunch now.

 

DAY 8, hey that is great... you got through that first week. Do you have a calendar that you cross off the days. It helped me for the first while, felt good to cross off yet another day. It was something tangible.

 

you can do it!

[tujna]

Yes, twomonks, same thing happened to me this semester. The break up has been going on since school started. Over a period of 7 years, he has always managed to do something just before my exams but this is the first time I am so down that I cannot even study. Unfortunately for me, I cannot afford just to pass because finding a job next year depends on my grades for the year... Having studying time makes a lot of sense. I will definitely try... I do have a calendar Both on my phone and a paper one. It does help, I think. Maybe our goal for the NC period should be not simply to endure not calling, but also receiving as good grades as possible. Good luck to you too!! We simply have to do it!

[LemonCheesecak]

Over a period of 7 years, he has always managed to do something just before my exams but this is the first time I am so down that I cannot even study.

 

I call a conspiracy, every breakup I've ever had has been with exams on the horizon. Suspicious Fortunately I'm picking up with studying again after scraping through recently.

 

Anyway, had a good night tonight. A couple of friends came out to visit me tonight (nobody ever comes round here really, we usually meet at a more centralised friend's place) so it was a nice surprise. Watched about 6 episodes of 24 and had a good laugh. I was comfortable talking about new relationships within our circle of friends without feeling down. I even made a joke about my breakup Let's hope I can carry this good mood into tomorrow!

[tujna]

I call a conspiracy, every breakup I've ever had has been with exams on the horizon. Suspicious Fortunately I'm picking up with studying again after scraping through recently.

 

I thought it is just me but I guess it is common for many of us It is great that you had a good night. One day at a time. I, on the other hard, am stuck writhing paper, 18 pages... This is too much. I wouldn't be able to write 18 papers even for my break-up

[FriendnorFoe]

just remembered, I have a couple pictures of her and one of us holding each other up on my wall, a couple days b4 she dumped me, the one of us fell off my wall and went under my bed, I havent tried to retrieve it yet, prolly nothin but kinda weird, not to mention regardless of the bad dreams I have been having recently I have had bad ones a while back b4 the break-up, perhaps these were all warnings or mere coincidence.

[LemonCheesecak]

I thought it is just me but I guess it is common for many of us It is great that you had a good night. One day at a time. I, on the other hard, am stuck writhing paper, 18 pages... This is too much. I wouldn't be able to write 18 papers even for my break-up

 

One day at a time indeed. Sadly that one day at a time means I haven't even made a start on the 4 pieces of coursework I have due next week. Promise myself I'll start them tomorrow if I keep this good mood!

[IBelieve]

I call a conspiracy, every breakup I've ever had has been with exams on the horizon. Suspicious Fortunately I'm picking up with studying again after scraping through recently.

 

 

Haha thats so true! My ex broke up with me the week before midterms.. I aced them anyways. Foiled her little plot...

[tujna]

One day at a time indeed. Sadly that one day at a time means I haven't even made a start on the 4 pieces of coursework I have due next week. Promise myself I'll start them tomorrow if I keep this good mood!

 

I very well know how you feel. It seems that we have all the time in the world to grief about our ex's and no time at all to get on with OUR REAL LIVES and concentrate on what benefits us, our desires, our ambitions, our careers, our families!! For what it worth, out ex's are NOT our real lives right now. It is the ultimate goal of NC to help us enhance our lives and personalities. So, we should get to work as soon as possible!! We cannot and should not let OURSELVES down.

[LemonCheesecak]

I very well know how you feel. It seems that we have all the time in the world to grief about our ex's and no time at all to get on with OUR REAL LIVES and concentrate on what benefits us, our desires, our ambitions, our careers, our families!! For what it worth, out ex's are NOT our real lives right now. It is the ultimate goal of NC to help us enhance our lives and personalities. So, we should get to work as soon as possible!! We cannot and should not let OURSELVES down.

 

That is one of the most wise things I've heard all day, so I thank you, that was very encouraging

 

(Even more so when I realise i just spent the last 6 hours with two guys who were constantly making fart jokes ](*,) )

[Ironchefa]

All I need is a running tally and a forum for it. Thanks for starting this thread!

 

I almost sent an angry pre-dawn email...luckily I ended up sending it to myself. I'm smart when I want to be!

[tujna]

All I need is a running tally and a forum for it. Thanks for starting this thread!

 

I almost sent an angry pre-dawn email...luckily I ended up sending it to myself. I'm smart when I want to be!

 

Good luck! We are all in the same boat here. We all know how tough it is, so hold on!!

[tiggboriqua]

Day 5

 

 

A great day , About 6 Years ago I had two other females that I liked before going in the relationship with my ex .

 

 

 

This morning I spoke to one she got a hold of one of our friends and She asked me if I would consider going out with her and get to know eachother again .

 

 

She is a beautiful woman independent and after all this time she still want to see if we can work cause when I got into my last relationship I spoke clearly to both girls that I knew were interested to clear the air and also to let know that I was in a relationship and no longer available , she was overseas by the way so I told her I would like to see her she will be coming in may so moving on

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 9

wow today cant possibly get any better. Maybe because i only have one day of skool left for this term, who knows, but today everthing seemed brighter. I couldnt stop laughing and being stupid silly with all the girls, we ate so much chocolate and planned so much of fun for the holidays...and i helped a friend whos just going through the first stages of her breakup.

And i was just thinking, about how my complete happiness today had zero influence from my ex! He had nothing to do with my day, thanks to NC i fullfilled my own day. It made me realize, that even if he texted me, i probally wouldnt have any desire to reply, regardless of the NC rule...cuz talking to him would only dampen my spirits if anything...so whats the worth of having contact with him at all?? I dont need or want him!! I hope the days continue this happy beat

I dont think i will text him next weekend for the last time for his birthday....who gives a * * * * quite frankly haha!

[Cat76]

Had a really good day yesterday and have made plans for the weekend. Unfortunately I have a couple of days of not much to do and I've found myself thinking about stuff again

 

I'm a bit sad, but as ever onwards and upwards

[ScorpiGal83]

Lucky Day 13

 

Hmm. Doing okay really. My heart and mind are beginning to really accept he isn't mine anymore... and I can for the first time imagine just being friends with him. But I know I am not totally ready for it... just being able to picture it is good enough for now.

 

However, I did wake up in a bit of a funk, teary-eyed a bit thinking about how it used to be. But things change, nobody likes change, but the world has to go on and it can't without change. Right?

 

Going to the gym and running on the treadmill helps a LOT.

[ToodlePip]

I call a conspiracy, every breakup I've ever had has been with exams on the horizon. Suspicious

 

Haha! Every breakup I have had, including those I initiated, have been just before, during or just after Xmas. I now have this dreaded gut feeling whenever we get to that time of year!

[pace of ace]

Day 8

 

 

I was lying in bed last night and i felt a real realisation sweep over me. I've been hung up on my ex for a year and why? Because i've kept all my focus on her, and not me.... I knew this anyway, but it really hit me last night. All this time. I mean, sure i don't blame myself for loving her. That's love, if it's real, it's not easy to forget or shrug off, but i've been clinging onto hope for so long. I think i'll always have a bit of hope for aslong as i love her, but i need to move on now.

 

So from now, my focus is on me. Instead of thinking "how can i get her back" i must think "time to get me back" If my ex EVER asks for me back it'll happen nomatter what i do or don't do so whatever.... end of the day, it's her loss....

 

There is a reason my ex is still so keen to be close to me after all this time, and that's because i am GREAT and during our 4 year relationship, i treated her with so much love and kindness.... well, it's her loss 'cos my days of reaching out to her are over. No more quick calls to say hello, no more texts to say hello. Nothing!

 

I will not initiate a word of contact until i am healed. This is my gift to myself.

 

The rest of my life starts now

[ToodlePip]

Day 19 - Didn't reply. Really didn't like the "I'll understand" line - feels manipulative. Can't repond while I still have negative feelings. On a good note, I've just been invited on another press trip, this time to Montreal in June. Really excited about it - always wanted to go, and I'm half-french so it'll be a great opportunity to practise my french. So glad something has come along for me to look forward to, really needed it right now.

[tujna]

Day 9 starts for me...

 

Very glad to read all these positive comments today... I also had a nice day yesterday but I wouldn't say I am making progress because the pain tend to come unexpectedly when I least expect it. I am sure by the end of the weekend he will start wondering what is going on with me: it has never been such a long time. He thinks he can find what we have with someone else but is so wrong... I am so happy the decision not to be together is not mine. I do have responsibility in the break-up and he says it is all my fault but he is the one going away. I am going for more NC. I am more certain than ever that this is the way to go.

[caligirl98]

Day 5.

 

Had awful dreams. I hear "what hurts the most" on the way to work this morning and it makes me way sad.

 

I get to work and I have a voicemail...from my ex! Saying she needs to talk..it's very important etc. She will call back in a couple hours. I can tell by her voice it's not that she wants me back.

I am NOT picking up. I am sticking to NC!!!

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 5

 

The sexual dreams made a brief reappearance, wasn't expecting that after so long. I think that's just my primal instinct telling me to get back out there, but what you gonna do?

 

Feel a bit ill today and its taking my mood down with it. Got plenty to keep me occupied this afternoon/this evening however. A lovely written maths assignment, oh joy! I saw a thread last night about no longer wanting to contact your ex, and I think I'm at that stage now. The only way I would break NC was if she came to me first (if even then!).

[le_sex]

its been nearly a week now and i have to say the feelings of love are now going looking back over how she treated me, whether its healthy or not i think im starting to resent her :S

[createhappiness]

day 21

 

official 3-week mark, thinking of treating myself to something special when i reach 1 month.

any ideas guys? lol

[brazilgirl21]

I'm on Day 18 of round 2 in which I sent him a text and he replied... nothing intense.

 

But it's been around 50 days that we haven't spoken on the phone or exchanged e-mails, etc...

 

It's starting to feel like he's dead.