THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Jabbe]

No signs of slowing down here, folks. As the days go by, I get happier and happier. Target NC= 2-3 months. I'll have to tell her that I'm moving because that won't look good in the eyes of the court if I don't.

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 4

 

Strange day. I seem to be adapting to the change at last. Then again, I really have to, I'm alone all week as my flatmates back with his family, and a couple of my friends are currently in the stages of what I like to call "New Relationship Inseparable Syndrome".

 

I've known in my head for a long time that I don't need her to live my life but I think for the first time my heart's (reluctantly) starting to agree. I'm focusing on myself more than ever, gonna try going for an hour run every morning at 6am to waken me up for the day.

[Cat76]

Can I join the NC Challenge? I'm on day 2 (GO ME). Filled my day so far and have got plans for this evening.

 

Am planning to start jogging everyday and have been asked to be somebodies climbing buddy.

 

It's all good at the moment

[ToodlePip]

It's tough when you come to the realisation you have to let go emotionally - I think I mentally did that weeks ago, but only recently has the heart followed and it's a new challenge. Good call on the morning run!

[Ixtapa]

Back to day 1

 

Sent him an email yesterday. Just wanted to advise him that I will be spending time in his hometown soon and hanging out with his friends. It was an excuse to get back in touch....but also I wanted him to know that Im not angry anymore (the message was short and friendly). Im thinking that if I am ever to meet him again......I would like to be able NOT to feel that I have to ignore him. It is definitely NC from now on on my side...

[FriendnorFoe]

day 24, it will get worse before it gets better, someone told me that I should not repress my feelings or emotions otherwise they will come through in other ways, for the first 3 weeks I think I was high on the shock and ego factor, "I dont need this chick, I am a good lookin guy I could do better" kinda crap, well now I am facing what I have blocked out, the healing will be slow and gradual but I at least have a view of the finish lineeven though its through binoculars.

[createhappiness]

day 24, it will get worse before it gets better, someone told me that I should not repress my feelings or emotions otherwise they will come through in other ways, for the first 3 weeks I think I was high on the shock and ego factor, "I dont need this chick, I am a good lookin guy I could do better" kinda crap, well now I am facing what I have blocked out, the healing will be slow and gradual but I at least have a view of the finish lineeven though its through binoculars.

 

yup. i have gone and am going through the same thing. 2nd week was tough for me as far as the nostalgic feelings coming back. but now i'm feeling the cloud lifting, i hope i can ride it out but i am realistic there will be setbacks but hopefully fewer and farther between. and that i will have the know-how to deal with the setbacks in a positive way. Day 20 here. Feeling more confident and strong today...

[tujna]

yup. i have gone and am going through the same thing. third week was tough for me as far as the nostalgic feelings coming back. but now i'm feeling the cloud lifting, i hope i can ride it out but i am realistic there will be setbacks but hopefully fewer and farther between. and that i will have the know-how to deal with the setbacks in a positive way. Day 20 here. Feeling more confident and strong today...

 

Wow, good job... I wonder if I will ever be there... sigh... I truly admire your strength.

[createhappiness]

Wow, good job... I wonder if I will ever be there... sigh... I truly admire your strength.

 

after many failed attempts at NC, the only thing different for me this time is acceptance. acceptance it is over. acceptance that i've done all i can do to try to reconcile with him. acceptance that not all relationships are perfect and to let go when the ex doesn't have it in them to mend things. having the ex out of your life is key to feeling like a "whole" person again.

[ToodlePip]

Just received a text 12 days after the email i ignored. Feels like the games are on. Or I'm being paranoid.

[tujna]

after many failed attempts at NC, the only thing different for me this time is acceptance. acceptance it is over. acceptance that i've done all i can do to try to reconcile with him. acceptance that not all relationships are perfect and to let go when the ex doesn't have it in them to mend things. having the ex out of your life is key to feeling like a "whole" person again.

 

Acceptance... I am struggling with it, it is very tough for me to accept the acceptance. I seem to have accepted and something inside me rejects it after some time on NC. So far I haven't been able to fight these urges. Do you still have those sometimes?

 

Why is letting go so hard? I have been struggling with it for more than 2 months.

[tujna]

Just received a text 12 days after the email i ignored. Feels like the games are on. Or I'm being paranoid.

 

What did it say?

[ToodlePip]

It's at the end of this thread:

 

 

[brazilgirl21]

Toodlepip - I'd strongly advise you to reply with something short and nice.

 

Ignoring her just shows that you are very affected by her. IMO, anyways.

[Lieutenant Dan]

I miss him a lot today. I got stuck staring out my window at the snow this morning only to have a flood of memories come back to me. What I would do...

[tiggboriqua]

My Opinion is like Others in the previous post , Do not Answer I would not answer what for ?

 

If you want any chance of getting your ex back or if you just want to move on then there is only ONE thing you have to do

 

 

Disapear , if you answer to them everytime they feel the urge to know or check on you and on top of that you give them such importance guess what they will never trully miss you . They would never feel the need to come back why ? they can have you or play their games when ever they want . Meanwhile you still stuck and the other person keeps on living a great life knowing that you are there and wont let go.

 

 

 

Think about it take care of you

[brazilgirl21]

Well, I came back for my ex and he NEVER ignored me. He didn't pester me either, but he was always polite when I attempted contact. I don't think ignoring the person is ideal. It's just playing games too. If someone text asking how you are, you reply. Plain and simple. Why be different and give such a big importance to the ex? Say, I'm fine thanks... it shows more strenght than nothing.

[FriendnorFoe]

your mind always wanders, its very unhealthy, what if this what if that, maybe it was that, that pushed her over, can I redeem myself, you pray that but initated NC and letting her go, the relationship will be like a boomarang, from what I have read so far they obviously dont always come back if they dont want a second chance at it. man this sucks, but it is what it is.

[cl76]

Breaking up sux of course, we are all in the same boat. But seriously, NC can be a great time in your life to work on yourself to be happy and strong again. You are now free to do whatever you want so why not get out there and have a blast?

[ToodlePip]

TBH, I think my current unhappiness is mostly to do with the realisation that she isn't coming back, and the fact I'm resigning myslf to friendship, whatever form it takes. With that in mind, I'm tempted to politely reply back, and add a very adult "I would like 1 month of NC starting now to give us best chance of being friends, please do not contact me, I'll contact you". At least my guilt at not replying would be dealt with. Gonna sleep on it. Thanks for all the advice guys!

[cl76]

I think accepting that she will never come back is the key to moving on - even though there is a possibilty she might actually come back later.

 

But I would strongly suggest to NOT BE FRIENDS. That's making it so hard for you to heal in the long run and makes her feel better about breaking up -> women cannot bear to lose relationships to anyone, its hard wired into their brain.

[tujna]

I agree with Brazilgirl. Relpying politely but concisely is the best, no matter what you are hoping for. This hurts more than silence because silence shows anger and hurt. Polite reply is the best way to show that you are moving on in a respectful and adult-like way. It is also the best way to pave the road to a friendship. May be it will give you some closure too.

[caligirl98]

I agree with Brazilgirl. Relpying politely but concisely is the best, no matter what you are hoping for. This hurts more than silence because silence shows anger and hurt. Polite reply is the best way to show that you are moving on in a respectful and adult-like way. It is also the best way to pave the road to a friendship. May be it will give you some closure too.

 

This work if your ex is as mature as you are. If I replied back to a "hey how are you?" it would not stop there. They would probably start messing with my head again.

 

Friday my ex said she was happy in her new relationship and doesn't see us getting back together. I told her I would like to do NC and not talk for a while. She completely agreed....yesterday she called. * * * ! But I didn't pick up so that still means I'm on NC day 4, right?

[tujna]

This work if your ex is as mature as you are. If I replied back to a "hey how are you?" it would not stop there. They would probably start messing with my head again.

 

Friday my ex said she was happy in her new relationship and doesn't see us getting back together. I told her I would like to do NC and not talk for a while. She completely agreed....yesterday she called. * * * ! But I didn't pick up so that still means I'm on NC day 4, right?

 

I have to admit, you did make me laugh You are right, your ex is a tough case. I wouldn't even declare NC, I would go straight to it, even without a warning. This is far more intriguing...

 

Yes, you are definitely in day 4. Your ex might need some hard-core treatment, especially after suggesting that she is happy with her new bf.

[createhappiness]

Friday my ex said she was happy in her new relationship and doesn't see us getting back together. I told her I would like to do NC and not talk for a while. She completely agreed....yesterday she called. * * * ! But I didn't pick up so that still means I'm on NC day 4, right?

 

because she is taking the situation for granted. or doesn't think you have the guts to truly not talk to her. let her live her life w/o you in the purist form. absolutely no contact or replies from you. that's the only way she knows what she's missing.