THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[skheehee]

Day 2. I woke up thinking about her. God... Why did she have to hurt me like this?

[rockmyboat]

day 1 again.....

[Reminiscence]

Day 11

Getting really hard to resist texting him. I miss him. I wake up every morning and think about him. He needs to know how I feel but every time I pick up the phone and see his name I get angry. I can't think of nice things to say. My mind goes haywire. And yet I still like him. The resisting of texting him and keeping my anger in check is like straining to lift or push something too heavy. Like I'm going to explode.

All the while I keep thinking "why?" Why were we together in the first place? Why did you kiss me? Why?

[skheehee]

Day 11

Getting really hard to resist texting him. I miss him. I wake up every morning and think about him. He needs to know how I feel but every time I pick up the phone and see his name I get angry. I can't think of nice things to say. My mind goes haywire. And yet I still like him. The resisting of texting him and keeping my anger in check is like straining to lift or push something too heavy. Like I'm going to explode.

All the while I keep thinking "why?" Why were we together in the first place? Why did you kiss me? Why?

 

Gosh, I know exactly how you feel. The anger prevents me from calling her and venting, because I know it will only make things worse. Maybe you'll feel better if you were to listen to Avril Lavigne's "My Happy Ending" or Maroon5's "Payphone". It sums up how we feel right now. Oh, and listen to the explicit versions yeah.

[gotanewbeat]

day 3

 

ugh this is brutal, absolutely brutal.

three propositions today in a half hour period - how does that even happen? he managed to suggest both short terms plans (this weekend) and a trip in the future... i'm seriously confused at this point. i think i might stop the NC thing for the time being and just keep it very LC to see what happens because he's made it evident i will never be able to escape his company and work, and our conversations will never be work related... i'm going to start slowly adjusting my routine... go for a walk instead or something. either he knows this is difficult for me and is being a jerk on purpose, or he is just as confused as i am about what's happening. none of this makes sense.

[brickheart]

Day 8.

 

This is getting easier. That's not to say that it's EASY yet - I still think about him all the time - but I just took a huge leap yesterday afternoon in my healing process. I'm getting ready to find a better guy! And maybe he and I can be friends, and maybe not.

 

The one thing that worries me is that he said to contact him when I'm healed... I don't want him to think it's taking me too long, because it's really not. And we all know it's a contest...

[Blondie176]

Day 6 - Take 3

 

I quote the day before so i know what day i am on. Just a FYI...

 

Today i feel a bit indifferent to the whole thing, bear in mind that its been just over a month since he told me about the other woman and two periods of NC in that month, one of 12 days, one of 13 days. We havent spoken much at all since June 2nd when he finally grew a spine and told me about her. So even though its only day 6, i already feel very separate from him. Which is sad, not long ago we were each others rocks. Now we are becoming strangers.

 

xxx

[skheehee]

Day 6 - Take 3

 

So even though its only day 6, i already feel very separate from him. Which is sad, not long ago we were each others rocks. Now we are becoming strangers.

 

xxx

 

It's really sad, isn't it. Now they're just somebody we used to know.

[Pleasedonot5]

I'm going to go on a walk with my ex girlfriend tomorrow night. I haven't made my feelings for her clear since we've broken up, so I'm going to do that and show her that I'm willing to stick my head on the line to fight for her. After that fails, I'm going to start this challenge so I guess I'll see you all then. It's kinda funny and sad in a twisted way, how I know it won't work, but I know I'll always have regrets if I never try anything to attempt to save our awesome, happy, 13 month relationship in which we were crazy for each other.

[brickheart]

I'm going to go on a walk with my ex girlfriend tomorrow night. I haven't made my feelings for her clear since we've broken up, so I'm going to do that and show her that I'm willing to stick my head on the line to fight for her. After that fails, I'm going to start this challenge so I guess I'll see you all then. It's kinda funny and sad in a twisted way, how I know it won't work, but I know I'll always have regrets if I never try anything to attempt to save our awesome, happy, 13 month relationship in which we were crazy for each other.

 

I don't know the whole situation, but here's a hug and some advice. I'm sorry you feel so fatalistic, but I'm glad you're going to do this if it's going to help you heal in the long run. If it will help you have closure, say whatever you need to say and then get out, go NC, etc. Let this be the final conversation where you let her know everything you want her to know and then please please please don't say anything else.

[SSJlee28]

Day 2 ..

 

It still hurts alot. It doesn't help that she still has couple of photos of me on her facebook. She has hidden most of it though, I can still see it because I'm tagged on there. About 600~ photos. Yes 600, we were together for 7 years... I don't know if she realizes that few of our photos are still there. I can't deactivate my facebook for another 2 weeks. Which then I will deactivate and vanish for a month, as I will be traveling out of the country and to another city with friends. At this point I don't even want to go, but I know it'll be good for me...

 

We left each other in a good way. Both told each other that there is always a possibility of us getting back together. As much as I was so happy to hear that, she also said don't cling on to the hope for me, because I don't know what the future holds. She's absolutely right, but 7 years... 7 years of deep love don't just dissappear, not in few months, years.. It hurts that there was a guy that she found interests in, and although he's in a city 3 hours away, it still sucks. It makes me so insecure.

 

If anyone wants to help me out, please do :

[skheehee]

I don't know the whole situation, but here's a hug and some advice. I'm sorry you feel so fatalistic, but I'm glad you're going to do this if it's going to help you heal in the long run. If it will help you have closure, say whatever you need to say and then get out, go NC, etc. Let this be the final conversation where you let her know everything you want her to know and then please please please don't say anything else.

 

Yup. Hope for the best, but always expect the worst. I was basically clutching at thin air when I kept trying after I failed the first time.

[Pleasedonot5]

Thank you both for your support and e-hugs. Means a lot

 

I'll try my best to evoke some emotion on her part, because I tend to be good at that. I have to abandon my pride but hold onto my dignity. After that, because I don't expect anything to work in the short-run (and I know this part is advised against but I've had the time of my life -- never have been happier -- with her as my girlfriend), but I do sincerely hope that some of the stuff I say, at least in the long-run, gets her to realize what we had and miss me as more than just a friend. I realize it may take months or even years or it may never happen at all (which sucks to think about, but I have to accept that possibility), but I do hope for recon in the future.

[skheehee]

Day 3, and not feeling much better. In fact, I'm feeling almost as bad as the first time I found out she's with the other guy.

[WhatSetsUs]

Day 2...3...4...

 

Over the past few days I've experienced a lot of highs and a lot of lows. My ex pops up in my mind randomly thru out the day and it always leaves me feeling really depressed and uneasy. It's really bad when I'm sitting in class and I should be paying attention to the lectures, but its like my mind is held captive to these ruminating thoughts. I seem to do well, however, when I'm around other people. Yesterday I spent all day drinking and partying with friends for the holiday, so that did a pretty good job of keeping my mind occupied on having a good time rather than her. That's not to say that she didn't pop up in my mind from time to time, but unlike other times, I didn't start ruminating. I also find that I'm getting better at avoiding looking at her Facebook page, which had become somewhat of an addiction for me other the last few weeks.

 

Other than that, I'm working on letting go of this hope of getting her back. I know that the only way I'm gonna move past this is to let go of the hope and desire of being with her. But I'll take it one day at a time.

[Veneficus]

I'm going to start this, I started today so.

 

Day 1 -

 

It's pretty painful, but in order for him to find himself, and I myself, before we can work on us together (and that's the plan, so we've discussed..) I think this is the best for us. I love him dearly, but he has issues and I mine, and this is probably going to give us a faster recovery with ourselves. I've already begun my changes, working out, got a new job today, cleaning more...things I just need to do. I've begun to pray again too, and while I considered myself apathiest, I'm starting to find my faith again.

 

Here's to hoping I can do this successfully, the first time around. No matter how difficult it is.

[Reminiscence]

Day 12/13

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

must. resist. texting. him.

i miss him...

[skheehee]

Day 12/13

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

must. resist. texting. him.

i miss him...

 

I miss her too. I suggest that you think of all the bad things he did to you to soften this feeling

[gotanewbeat]

day 4

 

hes probably getting a new job, which is awesome, he deserves a better job and quite honestly we could use the space.... but it's still sort of sad and scary at the same time.

[Blondie176]

Day 6 - Take 3

 

I quote the day before so i know what day i am on. Just a FYI...

 

Today i feel a bit indifferent to the whole thing, bear in mind that its been just over a month since he told me about the other woman and two periods of NC in that month, one of 12 days, one of 13 days. We havent spoken much at all since June 2nd when he finally grew a spine and told me about her. So even though its only day 6, i already feel very separate from him. Which is sad, not long ago we were each others rocks. Now we are becoming strangers.

 

xxx

 

Day 7 - Take 3

 

I am getting a bit bored of all the counting now lol It feels like i have been counting forever!

 

I have a good mate coming round this evening and tomorrow night i am going out dancing for the first time since this whole bs began. One minute i really want to go, let my hair down and have some fun, my spirit needs some fun.. the next minute i just cant be bothered..i will force myself though.

 

As for him, meh... i am beginning to see things a bit clearer, certain things about him that really got on my nerves like his lack of motivation for finding work and the way he would always walk away when the going got tough ( he would get in his car and drive half way accross the country and tell no-one and lay low until whatever situation had blown over, leaving me worried sick to his where-abouts) ..and a few other things were weighing me down regarding him. Those things are her problem now.

 

All that said though, i wish so badly that he would make contact, but i think it might be an ego thing on my part LOL.. meh just to know he hasnt forgotten me completely i guess.

[Blondie176]

I miss her too. I suggest that you think of all the bad things he did to you to soften this feeling

Agreed. I think when we are heart broken we tend to put them on a pedestal, making out they were some sort of god-dess... they werent.. its just an illusion our messed up minds are creating.

[skheehee]

Keep counting girl! The day that you stop counting is the day that you've finally moved on!

 

Yes, even if you don't want to, drag yourself outside and see the world in a whole different perspective. There are so many things that you can do now, without having to worry about another person's opinion. I know it's gonna be hard to have fun, but slowly, you'll get there.

 

Keep thinking of all his negative traits that probably had a part to play in the break up. It would make your decision in the future much more calculated and reasonable. If not, there are other more deserving people who are better than him/her.

 

Keep up with the NC. You're not alone. We are all in this together.

[skheehee]

Day 4

 

Woke up thinking about her, but the feelings aren't so intense anymore. Maybe a part of me has accepted that she's gone forever? And that maybe she was right... That I deserve better.

 

Wow. It rhymes.

[gotanewbeat]

day 5

 

he texted me this morning

 

 

work was especially ****ed up today. i'm not too sure if i feel like mentioning why.

good news is, he's leaving soon.

[brickheart]

Day 9.

 

Almost wanted to turn down his street and go talk to him. All I want is to hug him for like an hour and tell him about everything that's happened to me lately, and ask how he's doing. That's all I want. I don't want to talk about the relationship or think about our future - I just miss being able to talk to him about our every-day lives.