THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[lonesomeloser]

Day 0 again.

 

I broke on Day 5 (2 days ago). Sent a text. It's cause I went on the trip we had planned to spend together. And I missed her. So, I sent a couple texts:

"I'd still pick you first on my team" (just a cute thing we used to say)

No reply. An hour later I sent:

"Wish you were here. Miss you baby".

45 minutes later she replied:

"Miss you too baby. And, yes, I am first on your team".

 

Today is the birthday. I sent a nice card last week, she should have gotten it by now. And I put a cute little Happy Birthday on her facebook wall. And that's all I'm going to do. It IS time to move on. I can do this.

A friend tagged her in a photo on facebook. She's put on some weight. Actually, she doesn't look so good. Sure, she's out partying every weekend and making it LOOK like she's having the time of her life, but I don't buy it.

 

Not sure yet if that makes this easier, or if I want to be there for her. Okay, today is her day (birthday) so I'm not going to do anything... gonna make it through the weekend.

[Nappyloxs]

A friend tagged her in a photo on facebook. She's put on some weight. Actually, she doesn't look so good. Sure, she's out partying every weekend and making it LOOK like she's having the time of her life, but I don't buy it.

 

Not sure yet if that makes this easier, or if I want to be there for her. Okay, today is her day (birthday) so I'm not going to do anything... gonna make it through the weekend.

 

My ex is doing the same thing. She partying, bought a new car and is trying to buy a new house. I think it is living a lie, because I have been there. She just needs to experience herself.

 

Personally with the house (really condo), I know its not what she had here. (Sorry if I am thinking about the material). She use to complain about paying barely anything in rent, now she'll have a mortgage and the bills that come along with a house. New car, she talked about forever, and I always told her she should do it. Of course, she never did because then it would have been because I suggested it. Partying, she was free to party whenever she wanted when we were together.

 

Today, is the first day I actually hate her, so I hope she gets screwed (not physically) with the house, car, partying.

[MNmike]

Day 7

went on a date tonight. Had a good time.

A nice distraction

[amandamarie]

Day 3 of NC

 

Today has been rough. Did okay this morning, but tonight has been tough. I keep thinking about the holidays, about our Thanksgiving together last year, about putting up the Christmas decorations together. It is going to be a tough season. I haven't been in touch since Sunday, when he sent me several texts that I ignored. It is so hard to ignore them, when I really want to talk to him and be with him more than anything, but I know that is not what is best for me. Still, it doesn't make it any easier. Especially knowing that I could pick up the phone and call him and he would enjoy hearing from me - it is so tempting, but he still can't give me what I really want. I am really dreading tomorrow.

[bish0p2004]

Day 1

 

Ex contacted me Monday and I messaged her back. She replied, but I haven't yet.

[mi-amor]

had to break 50 days of no contact to ask my ex to stop contacting my friend. he kept calling to ask to speak to me and asking if i was ok.

 

just go away and leave me alone, we are not together anymore, we cant help one another and i want to get over this as quickly as possible!! aghhhh!!

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Day 10... a week ago i was pretty sure he would contact me on thanksgiving, but now im not holding my breath. it makes me sad that i lost the one person in the world that i truly care about. I don't know if "it's better to have loved and lost than never have to loved at all". sometimes i just wish that we were just best friends and never involved romatically. im so scared of relationships now. i have had 2 major relationships and i lost the people who meant most to me in the world. Why would I want to risk that again?

 

I dreamed about him again. In my dream, i broke NC and called him and he confrimed what i am worried about most right now. That he was moving in with his new girl. My boyfriend and I lived together for 3 years, but we always had roommates. He never wanted to live with just me, because he liked to have people around. We were finally going to move into our our place in december.

 

in the dream, he was mad at me and yelled at me and when i woke up i was relieved that i hadn't broken nc.

 

im in it. im not looking back. everyday i understand more than we will not be back together.

[supercalifragilistic]

Day 30

 

Well, I made it. 30 days of not seeing or talking to him. I feel much better than 30 days ago. But today is not going very well. Yesterday was much better, I felt so happy. I'm visiting my ex's city today and was supposed to go visit a friend of mine this afternoon but she isn't home and I will only be able to visit her at night. This completely ruined my day, for some reason. I almost cried over it and I haven't cried in over a week. I was really counting on it and looking forward to spending the whole afternoon with her and her baby and now I'll only see them for a couple of hours at night. Who knows if the baby will even be awake then. I can't seem to catch a break lately. Whenever there's something I'm really looking forward to, which is really rare, something goes wrong.

 

I sort of feel like breaking NC and trying to see my ex or just drive by his work or his home but I'm too chicken to do it, I'm afraid of what I might see. I guess it's a good thing that my car's battery is dead and I can only go out if my dad gives me a ride on his car.

 

I'm also kind of delusionally hoping my ex will contact me while I'm here, but let's face it, the odds of that happening are slim to none. It would be almost a miracle.

[OneBrightStar]

I only have 9 days left. This almost feels like a game now. Can I do it? Can I NOT break NC, even if he texts to say happy Thanksgiving? I'm sure that text will be a mass text, so there's no point in replying.

 

21 days since I last saw him, since we last shared a passionate kiss and ended up having sex.

 

I'm having wild daydreams again of him coming here today to apologize and want to work things out but I know it won't happen.

[JustOneSecond]

Day 10

 

Still so upset. Going home this weekend, so it's possible I'll see him out friday or saturday night. Or bump into him at some point. I desperately want to see him, but I think I'd take it as a blow if nothing came of it.

[leq]

I hate Thursdays. And Mondays.

 

And everyday until i'm over this.

 

I would like a time machine if anyone could help?

 

Mind you, i'd probably rather go back than forward, and thats kind of missing the point.

 

I dont even know why i'm posting here, i'm going to break nc one last time anyway.

 

Theres no one in the house, even my dog is in the kennels probably having a better time than me.

 

For ****'s sake!!

[jimbobday]

Day 3 NC (4 weeks after breakup) The longest I've made it so far

 

Don't really feel the need to contact her so much now. Still feel very alone and don't really seem to care about alot now but I know i'm doing the right thing. Have come to the realization that there was nothing I could have done (even though I was the dumper) as it was all on a downward spiral. It does make it a lot easier now she isn't messaging me (even though I sometimes hope she does). I know I'm making progress though when a few weeks ago I couldn't go 4 hours without messaging her I am now up to my 3rd day.

 

Am now trying to love myself again because how can you truly move on if you don't love yourself.

 

The weekends upon me now (and its a busy one) so by the time my next post on this thread comes I should be up to day 6

 

Congratulations supercalifragilistic on making it to day 30

[lonesomeloser]

Day 0 again.

 

It's her daughter's birthday. And Thanksgiving. I texted her a little smiley face, just to let her know that I'm still thinking about her. No reply.

 

Maybe that's the closure I so desperately need. She ALWAYS replied to my texts (even the ones I sent on Monday)... This may be Good Bye.

[supercalifragilistic]

Congratulations supercalifragilistic on making it to day 30

 

Thank you!

 

The day is officially over and I made it. Goal #1 reached. Let's see if I can make it to 60 days.

 

I feel sad today. Not a depressed sad like before, but a "regular" kind of sad. I can't say I wish things could go back to being like they were 3 months ago, because I now see I wasn't that happy and it wasn't that perfect, I see how this break up was important to me. But I do wish my ex would change his mind and change himself a little. I'm starting to really miss him again. Today I opened his box for the first time in two months. It made me cry a little and miss him even more. It doesn't help that I'm in the same city as him for the first time since I have started NC. I find myself hoping to see him accidentally, from a distance. Just to see what he is like now. Ugh. I hate this.

[ackerman]

day fourteen thousand seven hundred and fifty two.. ok so im losing count but thats how it feels. I've not had a good day today, just thinking of her constantly and thinkin over everything that happened AGAIN. I mean seriously I go over it again and again, still trying to figure out exactly what I did wrong. I read a post on another forum about the 'im not ready for a relationship' line and the guy quotes:

 

"So next time you get the "I'm not ready for a relationship"-line remember that it's bull * * * * and that she doesn't want a relationship with you because you did something wrong. Why the hell would she have kissed or even * * * * ed you then. Apparently you were interesting enough then, but you've lost her on the way".

 

I mean why am i even still looking this up, 4 months ago and im still questioning what went wrong.. its not going to change anything, its not going to bring her back.. but im so inquisitive to know whats wrong with me. My self esteem is so knackered, i just feel floored. All i want to know is if she still thinks about me, thats it! Thats all i need to lift me up and to know im not someone who was so not for them that they dont even wanna check to see if im alright. Maybe i was abit bitter in my last message but its because I was hurting so bad and was being ignored! wouldnt she understand that? its horrible to be so close, to think you know them so well, to feel that connection and then lose them.. when i think im doing better i just end up falling again and i keep u-turning like this. i still miss her so much.

[thinktwiceok]

So my question is, are they ( dumpers) really going to come back to you if you do NC?? They may just moved on and find someone else already, why should they come back to the old relationship rather than start something new. They may feel happy when u are doing NC becoz they have less trouble from their ex.

[Nappyloxs]

So my question is, are they ( dumpers) really going to come back to you if you do NC?? They may just moved on and find someone else already, why should they come back to the old relationship rather than start something new. They may feel happy when u are doing NC becoz they have less trouble from their ex.

 

NC is not about them. You will only be able to complete this challenge if you make it about YOU.

 

If they come back, what happens if you find someone new?? That is the question we should ask.

 

NC is not what makes them come back, they don't come back because you stop contacting them. They only will comeback if they miss you. They may realize from the no contact that they miss you, but they only comeback because they miss you and want to comeback.

[lostandneedhelp]

This really isn't going well. People start talking behind my back, it gets twisted and suddenly im getting accused of cheating when i was with the ex when i did absolutally nothing of the sorts, so obviously NC broken to defend my corner. Infact, its been 2 weeks since the break up and in that time for sum reason I have had more female attention than I have ever in my life and I still can't even bring myself to flirt or anything as it feels like cheating still...... obviously I am not ready for new girls yet and need to focus on re-building my own life first!

 

Back to day 1 again

[lonesomeloser]

Day 1

 

I'm weak. It's cause she never said it's over. Told me she's thinking about me last week, Monday said she misses me too, but never replied to the card or the text I sent yesterday (just a little smiley)...

 

I really need to know if there is still something there or if she hates me... Stay NC right?

Why can't I do it?

[bungalo]

forgot to post yesterday, this is day 5...

[bish0p2004]

Day 1:

 

Here we go again.

[OneBrightStar]

Day 22 for me.

 

I don't feel like I'm getting much better. It's a hard day for me today. I didn't get included in a mass text saying "Happy Thanksgiving" or anything. To top it off, he was in ALL of my dreams last night.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

even with all the twists and turns and ups and downs, you made it! awesome job!

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Day 11 of NC, exactly 2 weeks since I last heard his voice on the phone...

 

I can't believe that it's only been two weeks since I talked to him. Honestly, it feels like it's been 3 months and it feels like its been about 6 months since we were together.

 

my thoughts about him are slowly starting to fade. I miss him but I am starting to understand that the person i want back doesnt exist anymore and I want nothing to do with the person he has become. That person aparently could really care less about me. I never thought in a million years he would do what he did to me, yet he did. as the days go on, i am starting to get angry. I'm not angry with the person i loved. I'm angry with the person he became.

 

it probably doesnt help (or maybe it does) that another guy seems to be very interested with me and wants to meet up with me as friends. We had a casual sexual relationship a few years ago, and has been contacting me a lot in the past couple of days. I would really like to get to know him on another level, but i know that im not ready for sex or a relationship or any of that. It has been getting my mind off my ex a bit though, which is a good thing i guess.

 

i really didnt think i would be interested in someone else this soon, and i know im not ready for it yet as im not even close to being healed... but i guess the fact that i know that someone is intersted in me has built up my self esteem a little.

[Nappyloxs]

Great to hear milkandhoney. Take advantage of the "new" guy. He may not be the next one, but at least it will let you see that there are other guys out there that are better and also want you.