Jump to content

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


Recommended Posts

4 months NC still no contact made between us, you can hold on to hope but thats about all. you always think they'll eventually get back in touch, i still check my emails and phone every day just for a message from her... my brain clocks that shes gone and by the looks of it isnt coming back but my heart still holds on. no matter where i go or what i do, i think of her always and forever will.

Link to comment

Day 2

 

Been feeling okay today. Had a good day at work, and tonight I came home and pretty much passed out. This breakup has just been so draining to me, both physically and emotionally. I have been feeling pretty numb again today. I am just telling myself that right now, it is a time to concentrate on just the little things to make myself happy. I am trying to do that and think of all the things I do have to be thankful for, because I know the holiday season is going to really be tough for me.

 

I just got a text from the ex, literally just a minute ago. He is asking me if I am ignoring him still, and to try to guess what he is watching on TV. It is so hard to resist when he is constantly trying to get in touch with me. He tells me I am still closer to him than anyone else, and that he really wants to be able to talk to me, but I can't be "just a friend" to him and I can't be his emotional outlet either. Still, it's not easy to resist, but I know if i talk to him, I am not going to get what I want - all I will get is some false hope, so I continue to trudge along with NC...

Link to comment

Looks like I'll make it through Day 2. Kinda sad actually, really wanted her to text or call or IM or something.... but nope... nothing... -- well, I did get a Facebook "poke" - but that's meaningless. I'm sure she pokes hundreds of guys (lol)...

 

I'm hiding her and her bar tramp friends on FB now so I don't have to see all the parties and drunkenness going on this weekend. Be out of town Monday, so maybe... just maybe I can make it and remain NC. I did send the birthday card. Good. I hope it makes her happy.

Link to comment

Day 3

 

Wow... Saturday morning, Day 3. I've actually gone 5 days before, but for some reason it's getting harder and harder to maintain. My facebook account is down for site maintenance - probably the BEST thing for me right now.

 

So, I've GOT to stay strong. I do think she misses me, but I'm having doubts. The birthday card is in the mail, she'll prob get it Tues or Wed (birthday is Wed). Then what? Stay NC?

 

I was thinking I was gonna post a birthday message on her FB wall on her Birthday (like I do all my other FB friends). Probably NOT the best idea actually... Wanted to say "Happy Birthday ____. Hope you have a SPECTACULAR day" (we used to call her boobs "spectacular" like that Seinfeld episode, think she'd get a smile out of that). -- "You get prettier every year!! Love you and miss you my friend".

 

Ugh... I'm a head case. Why can't I get over this girl? Maybe after the Birthday when she continues not initiating contact I can move on. No Happy Thanksgiving... No Merry Christmas.... No Happy New Year....

 

Part of me wants to keep her as a FB friend just to see if maybe, just maybe, she gives me a Happy Birthday on mine in late January... But part of me wants to defriend her (I struggle with that - I think it's rude. I would resent that if someone did that to me). ....... just rambling and venting..... thanks.

Link to comment

Day 5. I feel sick right now. The reality that i may never have him back is starting to set in. the reason ive been so strong so far is because I am hoping that by not talking to me he will feel like he made a horrible mistake. That is the only thing that is making me stay nc though. If I was positive that I lost him forever, I wouldn't leave him alone. I just want him to come back. I don't care what he did to me. I don't know I am feeling so badly right now... The past 4 days i have kept my head up and have stayed positive but today has been really hard.

Link to comment
I made it through 4 months of NC and then I saw him to which he started calling me to complain about his gf that he LEFT ME for pulling away from him. I still talk to him because I feel bad for him, but in the back of my mind, Im thinking, why the hell am I doing this to myself? he made his bed!

 

You are stronger than me. I would sooo tell him a few truths.

 

Oh geez, his gf is pulling away from him? How awful...NOT! Maybe that's what he deserves. Maybe he should consider that if he took the pain he is feeling and multiplied by 10000, it will probably be close to the pain HE inflicted on you when he left you.

 

Seriously. I can't believe the nerve! He must be nuts. And forgive me if this is inappropriate, but I hope his girlfriend leaves him for someone else too! And then calls him to rub it in his face. Yes, I am very bitter today.

Link to comment

Today is day 25 and I am finally very angry. I feel like going to my ex's house and telling him what I really think of all this. I feel like hurting him somehow as well as a few of his "friends". Maybe a family member or two. I seriously angry that he would do something like this. He must be out of his mind.

 

Sadly, I still want him back but I don't know if I could take him back without some MASSIVE apologies and some real remorse. I talking about real tears, possibly some uncontrollable crying. Flowers, begging, offers to do whatever it takes. Stuff like that, he would have to go all out.

 

I will probably lower my extra high standard once the anger goes away, but right now this is what I'm thinking. 5 more days and I will reach goal #1.

Link to comment

Today was Day One again. We had a good text exchange on Sunday last week, and I texted him on Weds and Friday during the week just to say hope you are well. There was no response warranted. While I still miss my ex, and this space thing is really hard, we have successfully avoided live contact since October 23, either in person or on the phone. We are going to talk on December 15th, which is 25-soon to be 24 days away. I realize I'm not able to make myself emotionally available to anyone else, because I've been waiting to see what my ex decides -- he is using this time to consider if he can date me again, if he can change for me, etc, and I have said the same, during our text exchange last week. It felt good when we said we forgave each other too. I don't ever want to get mad or upset or fight with him again, I see how we both acted at different times, and he does too. So we shall see...I just have to make sure I have a job before December 15th because he's going to be asking about that. Also applying to graduate schools, which is exciting. We'll see what happens, but I am trying not to text any more for now. He is literally thinking about whether we can date again now, so I don't want to start something else new with anyone at the risk of hurting them or at the risk of losing my ex or complicating things any further. Funny thing is December 15th is the one year anniversary since I first contacted him on the online personals site. I wonder if it's any coincidence he picked that date of all dates to start talking again? LOL But doing OK; not enjoying the process but realizing that it's necessary.

Link to comment

Supercal, the anger will subside but believe me, it will go in waves Thats what happens to me. Some days Ill wake up SO angry for no reason. Then others, I feel nothing.

 

And your post made me laugh...yes I would like to tell him a few truths myself but Im holding back right now. Im trying not to act irrationally, but I might have to. He honestly acts like we never dated and we're just buddies. It really makes me angry but what can I do? He is borderline crazy and Im starting to realize that. Its sad.

Link to comment

Day 53.

 

My life is good, I am living the way I want to, I have lost 30 pounds since the breakup and just feel pretty good all around.

 

But my ex is still in my mind every day. Getting very close to calling her. I dont want to spill my heart out because I know that will do no good, also I dont really quite know what Im feeling but without talking to her I remain confused. Just dont know what to do.

Link to comment

End of Day 2 NC: I am not going to break! I am sticking too this! I just miss him so much. I spent the weekend out doing things with friends and even though i was having fun and laughing, i still couldnt help but miss him. As much as a joke to friends and say that i'll meet someone new, i can't help but want him and only him.

 

I wish our relationship meant as much to him as it did to me

 

Going to stay positive! This should pass.... hopefully

Link to comment

Day 4

 

Wow... Can't believe I made it this far. Also struggling with the fact that she hasn't tried to initiate contact with me. She said we would ALWAYS be friends and always be in each others' lives. Yeah, doubting that now.

 

Hopefully I won't break today. It's gonna be tough. Gotta keep myself occupied. She should get the birthday card within the next day or 2. Don't know if that will spark anything or not; but that was NOT the reason I sent it. I honestly sent it to make her day special. I didn't throw any guilt trips in there or anything, just "warmest birthday wishes to you, love ____"... The card itself was quite nice as well, basically saying to promise not to settle for anything but the best because you are beautiful inside and out.

Link to comment

Today is Day 6 of NC... Day 9 since ive actually talked to him on the phone. the last contact i made was on monday when i had to text him and tell him when to come get his stuff.

 

the past two days have been pretty hard for me... i think it's because of the fact that I know that he's with her right now. I want to call him and tell him how much he's hurt me.. how much i hate him right now for leaving me for someone else... ask him how he could do this to me. But i know that even if i do, none of that will matter.

 

I don't think he will come back. He's not the type of person to dwell on things. If he's feeling bad about something, he puts it in the back of his head and does soemthing to get his mind off of it. I do think he will eventually grieve. I think he may regret what he did. But I dont think he will come back to me. He will find peace another way and move on with his life.

 

but theres this tiny tiny tiny piece of me that things that MAYBE he might change his mind. and that is the only thing keeping me from contacting him right now.

Link to comment

Day 3:

 

I made it through another day! Today i actually got through without a single heartache moment. I could think about him and not feel hurt. I know its only temporary and the pain will come back but its nice to have one day free. It has definitely helped planning heaps of things to do with my life atm.

Link to comment

DAY 5

 

Wow... this ties my record. Last time I went 5 days I got a text from her on Day 5 and chatted on IM the next day. That wasn't pretty actually, I sort of called her out for who she is; explaining that I felt played because what I thought were "our moments" (meaning our little conversations) were actually how she talks to all guys. Whatever... f*ck her (everybody else does). --- hmmmm... feeling a little bitter I guess....

Link to comment

Day 6: only 1 attempt in 19 days.

 

I was doing quite well the first 4 days, but the last 2 I have been thinking of her more.

Mainly, her still coming back. Why I don't know. She made it clear she isn't. I think I think of her coming back, because I know that I lost trust in her after this heartbreak. So thinking of her coming back, makes me think of all the hurdles she would have to overcome, because of how much she hurt me.

 

Also, I have been thinking recently of the perfect couples I know. Couples you know that have broken up, but knew they would get back together. Couples who just seem perfect for each other. I know we did not give that appearance of the perfect couple and we probably weren't.

 

last thing that bothers me is that I love her still after 3 months of nothing but heartache. I know I am an intelligent, rationale, logical, person. But lost love just majorly screws all that up. (one of my problems in the relationship was that I thought about love in intelligent, rationale, logical terms aka denial).

 

Still feeling great and actually feeling alive again.

Link to comment

OK well, I broke my NC yesterday, texted my ex and asked about where we were at because he'd set the day of Dec 15th for us to start talking again, because being apart was the only way he consider reconciling and starting something new. Well, it's been a month now since we've talked live so I texted yesterday just to see how he was feeling. He said he was really trying to figure things out, I responded that we would talk about it because it involved both of us; he responded that "essentially" it does but that he feels there are other variables to consider, as well. I asked if that meant he was dating other people, and stated that that's why I have waited to make myself emotionally available to anyone else, to avoid complicating things. He responded that yes, other people was one variable and wished me a good night. I then texted and asked if I could just call; he said maybe later but that unless it was a "super pressing issue" he'd prefer to wait. I said I just needed to make decisions for myself (i.e. about moving on esp bc he's being wishy washy still) and that I'd appreciate the chance to chat. Then later last night said he was tired from work and that today would be better (and I'm sure he wanted time to collect his thoughts before talking to me, too). So I said I'd call tonight around 6, which is in a few minutes...I'm kind of nervous because we haven't spoken in a month, but I feel it's something I need to do. I can wait til Dec 15th for a live meeting, but I feel talking first a bit too will make that meeting less awkward. So, here we go, I'll see what he has to say...

Link to comment

Day 7 of NC... it feels like it's been soooooooo much longer than that. well, technically i havnt heard his voice in 10, but it seriously feels like it's been months.

 

this morning was hard, but i felt better as the day went on... that's what usually happens. i'm surprised that after a week i havnt really had to urge to pick up the phone and call him... I am still waiting for him to call or text me though. I feel like nothing that i do or say will change his mind and he has to decide on his own whether or not he wants to be with me again.

 

it makes me so sad to know that i lost my best friend though. i just want everything to go back to the way it was. even after a month, i think im still in a bit of denial.

Link to comment

OK, well we made a dinner date for December 15th. We had a good talk; he's concerned about his work schedule (he's a doctor) and what level of commitment he would have for a relationship; I added that his limited availability would be a good way for us to test the waters and ease back into things and get into each others' lives again. I also said I felt it would be good for us to talk prior to meeting on the 15th, because it would make things less awkward, and he agreed and said that it was a good idea. So I still have hope, not giving up on this thing yet. He realizes that the two options are to 1) start something new again or 2) part ways, since I told him I can't be friends. He explained that he would have limited availability bc of the work schedule, but I told him that I was OK with all that, that he was worth it, and I felt that it was worth giving things a second try. And that I never wanted us to argue again. The one month of not talking and just texting here and there really made me more aware of how much he means, not to take things for granted, and gave me perspective into myself.

 

So now just three more weeks til Dec 15th. May go home for Thanksgiving weekend, come back then it's December already...then just counting down the days. If he decides to part ways I will be extremely disappointed, and him running through the scenario of how things would be if we did start something up again makes me see hope in the direction things could go. I know, don't get too excited...but I did a full month of NC (aside from text messaging) ok so no LIVE contact...until tonight. It felt really good to talk to him, and I am going to hold onto my hope for now...so that's the update.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...