THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[MNmike]

Starting again.

 

Its now day 5.

[ApplCW]

I'm finding it hard to start-up NC again. I made it to Day 22, and then I caved in and answered her texts, which led to a nice chat later that night. I know she misses me but I don't know if she misses me for the right reasons. She was saying all the right things that evening, but I didn't feel ready. I tried contacting her tonight since I was feeling I had a good grasp of the situation but it seems she's back pedaling. Now she feels she's not ready to discuss things. Haha aye. I'm going back to NC. Unless she gives me something more concrete, I'm ignoring her.

 

Day 1 starts NOW

[lovesick7]

What if i am still with my bf and he has puleld back for the past week? He hasnt' been to my house and stayed the night (which he did EVERY night for the last month or so). He has not been here for 7 days and he has only contacted me first twice and about nothing just to give me times for an event. I agree its not looking good but i am torn between whether or not its a "need space thing" or just a break up.. There is no girl for sure - i know this for a fact.. and he has not stated if he needs space or what. He just said that he didnt want to break up and that he wanted to fix things - however he has basically been aavoiding me ever since.....so is it good for no contact if you are still technically IN the relationship??? Please help.

 

PS - we are 30 and 31 and hav ebeen dating for almost a year and a half

[peanutbutterandjelly]

i dont think NC is good in this case. I think you need to communicate and find out whats going on first.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Day 8... I'm really struggling. I havn't really gotten close to picking up the phone yet, but I have thought about contacting him. I think i really just want to hear his voice and to hear him say that he misses me. The crappy thing about my situation is that I KNOW he would talk to me for like an hour if i called him. The last time I talked to him and told him not to contact me unless he wanted to try again, he said he would respect my wishes, but said, "dont hesitate to call me if you need to talk". Though im sure he's just using it to relieve his guilt.

 

My computer crashed the day before I walked in on him and his new girl in bed together, and he offered to give me $1000 to buy a new one! I didnt accept. He is not going to buy me off with his guilt and I am not going to make him feel better by talking to him.

 

Sometimes I wish i didnt give him an ultimatum, i dont know how most people feel around here about doing that, but i felt like I had no other choice. I knew he would contact me to "see how i was doing" and to "make sure I was okay" and I would probably cave in and text him back. I had to give him an ultimatum to make it easier on myself, but right now I just wish I could get a text from him... probably just to know that he's actually thinking about me.

[JustOneSecond]

Day 8

 

I really was getting better, just getting on with things, until Sunday night when something just hit me and I started replaying the last time I saw him over and over again in my head. When he held me for hours while we talked and I cried. How we stood in the porch and kissed for the last time holding hands, he slowly took back his hands and turned to walk away. It was so painful. I hated seeing him so upset. I have nothing to justifiably dislike him for, makes it so much harder.

 

I've been in/on the verge of tears since then. Horrible. I feel as bad as I did the week he ended it. Don't know why this has come about. He's keeping up with the various comments on my facebook every couple of days. Can't tell if he's just trying to be friendly or something.

 

Urghh emotional relapse.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

^day 8 seems to be a tough one..

[JustOneSecond]

^day 8 seems to be a tough one..

 

Definitely

[bungalo]

Day 2. Go SuperDave ur my idol.

[ApplCW]

Still stuck at Day 1, I text her about mailing her some stuff back blah blah blah. Today would have been Day 30 if i hadn't broken NC 8 days ago. Life is good but I still have no idea what's going to happen between the ex and I. When she first contacted me 8 days ago, she was saying all the things I wanted to hear. But I wasn't ready to hear them then. I was working on a journal and my plan was to contact her then. Ironically, I finished the journal today. I just don't understand how someone could believe we could get back together again without discussing the past. I know the past needs to be let go in order for us to move forward but not discussing it is just a recipe for disaster in my book. Now she claims she's not ready to discuss the past which is understandable. My hope was to start hanging out with her on a limited basis, on a purely casual level. No discussion of the past or the future. Though it seems she wants to wait until she can sort through the past herself.

 

Back to NC I go.

 

Perhaps I'm being overconfident, but I know she's not going to find anyone better than me. We met back in December almost two years ago. If she was missing me before, she's surely going to miss me now.

[jimbobday]

Day 1 for me

 

My ex keeps txting me for random things. I've told her I want NC unless she wants to get back together. I've broken every time shes txt me. So I'm now ready to really start NC and not reply unless she really does want to get back together. Going to meet a friend for coffee this evening to help take my mind off things.

 

I think she does want me back but circumstance dictate otherwise so its time to move on and go NC unless she can prove she wants me back

[MNmike]

Day 6.

 

I have a cousin that passed away 2 years ago and I got his old motorcycle running today for the first time in 8 years. His dad will be happy. I felt sad a few times. About him and missing my ex.

[Nappyloxs]

Day 8 (1 in 19).

 

Flew by. I am feeling much better. Still think of her often. But finally accepting she is not coming back and she wasn't the one (thanks DB, hearing a total outside opinion does help even if its not what you want to hear).

 

Well, finally feeling confident enough to maybe start dating. Going to take it slow. Not rush into it and hit on every woman. Just going to start testing the water to see what happens. Not expecting much, but I feel that going on a few dates is the next step in my healing process.

[lovesick7]

DAY 1 - Today is my day one. Its actually day 8 since the talk... We are not officially broken up but i also offered to give him time - guessing he took it. But i have texted him lightly once a day saying hope you have a good day today.. i either dont get a response or i get a short uncaring response... so i am going to try to do NC (my initiation) until he is ready to talk. Its the only option i know that I have left in hopes that he will have to miss me... or not. I have been racking my mind here for the last few days just heartbroken and unknowing...but going to give it a whirl and hope that since Thanksgiving is on its way he will miss me not being there. We have been dating for a little over a year. We werent fighting and he has not met anyone.... yet. Guess thats my fear but unfortunately nothing i can do.... very numb and cry every night. Just looking here for support and to use this as sort of a diary that talks back. Good luck to the NC'ers. My last contact was yesterday when i caved and said "hope you are having a great day.. had you on my mind and miss you" He responded.. Thanks for the email, hope you are having a good day as well.. but thats it and i havent heard from him since.... he has not stayed at my house since the big talk either. Losing hope and on the last leg... just hope for the best i guess. i miss him terribly. just to hear that he thought our relationship was currently not feeling right just slapped me.. i was shocked.

[kt_belle]

Day 5:

 

Wow i cant believe i'm at the end of day 5. Since the break up one of us has always broken NC after day 4. I miss him like crazy. Its hard knowing he's so close and yet so far. The hard part is though is that as much as i want him back, i dont think i would take him back if he asked. The only way it would happen would be if he soughted his life out and actually got himself a decent job. I seriously doubt thats going to happen. I guess we will never be together again ...

[BobbyC]

Day 4 for me. The longest I've made it so far has been 7 days. If I can get through this weekend it will be a new personal best.

[lonesomeloser]

Day 0 again.

 

I broke on Day 5 (2 days ago). Sent a text. It's cause I went on the trip we had planned to spend together. And I missed her. So, I sent a couple texts:

"I'd still pick you first on my team" (just a cute thing we used to say)

No reply. An hour later I sent:

"Wish you were here. Miss you baby".

45 minutes later she replied:

"Miss you too baby. And, yes, I am first on your team".

 

Today is the birthday. I sent a nice card last week, she should have gotten it by now. And I put a cute little Happy Birthday on her facebook wall. And that's all I'm going to do. It IS time to move on. I can do this.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Day 9...

 

I find myself not really thinking about "woulda, coulda shoulda's" and trying to figure out what happened or what went wrong. I'm starting to realize that it doesn't matter what went wrong, because it did and there is no way to change that.

 

I am off from school for thanksgiving break and i think this is the first time in my life that im not happy for a break. I have work to do but cant motivate myself to get it done. I stayed in bed til past noon today and the school library wont be open til sunday, so there is not much of an escape. I hate being at home with my family. i know that's horrible to say, but i feel like i have no support from them and i am constantly hiding from them. It's been 5 weeks and my friends are pretty much done listening to me. They still can't believe what he did and what he's doing, but it doesnt matter at this point.

 

Last i heard, my boyfriend may be planning on moving to colorado with his new alchoholic "gf" and my friends say, "good, good riddance". But for some reason, even after all this crap he's put me through, i still want him back.

 

I dont check my phone as much. I dont expect him to randomly come back like nothing ever happened. It's too late for that now. A week after he broke up with me, he told me he was sad and that everything reminded him of me and he was wondering if he has made the right decision. I wonder if he's still wondering.

 

I miss him so badly. there is a knot in my stomach and an ache in my heart. I just want him to come home.

[verylonely]

mmmmm, think I was with the same man I definitely feel like I had a lucky escape today, in a weird way finding hm flirting with someone else after breaking up with me 2 months ago, made me ridiculously depressed instantly and found myself unable to breathe....(this was only yesterday!!) 2 years of intensity and declarations of undying love to that......today it has only kicked myself into touch......IT IS OVER and he really does not deserve to even know who I am anymore. Good luck and keep strong xxxxxx

[jimbobday]

Day 2 if I can make it through today with NC its the longest so far since I broke up with her a month ago. The mornings and work are the hardest. Haven't had a message from her in the last day. Miss her so much though

[bish0p2004]

Day 20

 

She messaged me the other day to see how I was doing and I didn't respond. It's not worth it and this time I'm just gonna let it go.

 

She has a lot of pride so I don't think she will write back anymore, but it's fine because both of us should have moved on a long time ago.

[Nappyloxs]

Day 9.

 

Little bit of a crap day. Lately I have been dreaming of her. This is definitely a sign that she is becoming just a memory that my heart doesn't want to forget.

 

I was feeling good this morning than I had a thought of her and now I just want to rip my heart out and threw it away.

 

No desire to contact her which is good and I am actually able to functioning again. Plus, my gym membership finally came in the mail, so I will be hitting the gym hard starting Friday.

[dangletsbang]

Hoping everyone going through NC right now stays strong..it will lead you to healing, it's hard right now..yes..but it will get easier! Try not to focus on the pain over this Thanksgiving holiday..focus on what you're thankful for! Private Message me if you need any encouragement! Good luck and happy holidays!

[bungalo]

This is day three. Went to a sports club last night had a pretty good time. Reading a bio on John Belushi. Having Thanksgiving with my kids tomorrow and the old old

ex. Not the current ex. peace.

[Nappyloxs]

Day 9

 

Just realized today is the 3 month mark of the breakup!!! S**t hurts more now! Today was already a bad day without realizing that.