hopefulseven Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Hey guys, I'm incredibly sleep deprived right now, but I just wanted to make a post to reassure any new NCers, it's absolutely the best decision you will make for the sake of your mental and emotional health. I've been NC for, geez, about 6 or 7 months now. It was hard. REAL hard. But it gets easier every day, and that's not an exaggeration. I'm actually thinking about starting a thread to relate my findings from doing NC. I've come a long way towards re-contextualizing the relationship I had, and the relationship I want to have. But basically, I just wanted to say be strong. NC is a test; it's a test of your discipline, and it's a test of your feelings. It's a test you absolutely need to take, if you want to be sure that what you're feeling is real, and it's a test you absolutely need to PASS if you want to actually be able to get what you want out of your situation. You're going to need a lot of patience and discipline to make it work, and the first step toward that is NC. Take your life into your own hands, and make it what you want it to be. Anyways, so I'm rambling. It's the sleep deprivation. But lame though it may be, I'll quote a line from a Decemberists' song: The wanting comes in waves. Remember this in your times of weakness. NC gets easier over time, but now and again you're going to be hit with that desperate need, and your will is gonna be pushed. When that happens, remember that it will pass, and that it's normal, and that it'll be easier again once you get through it. Be strong, people. I'm going to bed now. Hahaha. Link to comment
k1k1 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Too late. sent a voicemail. At least that anxiety feeling iv been getting all day is gone Link to comment
jj21 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Day 2: It's so hard! I feel like contacting her but, I left it with her to get back to me regarding her move to uni. I can't stop thinking what she's doing! Link to comment
eleniebby Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Day 1 of NC Damn this is gonna be hard. I woke up missing him and wanting to talk to him so bad. Haven't had dry eyes since I woke up. How could he forget me so fast? I wonder =/ Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Ran into the ex at a play last night. We didn't speak. Does seeing them count as breaking NC? If not, I'm on day 6 because he broke NC last week. Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Ran into the ex at a play last night. We didn't speak. Does seeing them count as breaking NC? If not, I'm on day 6 because he broke NC last week. I think you can slide on this one and call it Day 6. Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 2 months plus some days my mind is so inquisitive about what she is doing, i cant help but wonder if she ever thinks of me like she said she would. i feel like total nothing to her. i set up another internet profile but i dont think its a good idea, i dont feel ready at all im just doing it purely for a confidence boost since ive had it hammered. i dont know why i cant let go, she just meant so much to me. id give anything to have it all back. Link to comment
rigguy Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 2 months plus some days my mind is so inquisitive about what she is doing, i cant help but wonder if she ever thinks of me like she said she would. i feel like total nothing to her. i set up another internet profile but i dont think its a good idea, i dont feel ready at all im just doing it purely for a confidence boost since ive had it hammered. i dont know why i cant let go, she just meant so much to me. id give anything to have it all back. Hey buddy sorry you are having one of those days. Questining whether you made the right decision or did not do something, everyone is going through this, I think. As I recall your ex jumped into a relationship shortly after the break so NC was certainly the right decision. Man you gatta go at yourown pace, don't want to be done with it, don't. It is all up to you at this point. Personally, I did not know how much she meant to me until I lost it all about 3 months ago. So you are not along at that dude. My world and my confidence went down with it, only now I am scraping myself off the ground. Keep it up man, cheers. Link to comment
HeavyD Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Yea we're all in the same boat here. You never truly know how much something means to you until it's gone And by then it's usually too late... Day 4-5-6 something like that. Not really keeping track anymore because I know I'm going to break it next Wednesday... Link to comment
rigguy Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Hey guys, just thought I would get your opinion. Saw my ex a couple days ago at a bar, she was focused on texting or something and I decided to walk by. Thing is she is about 1000 km away and I was on business at that city. I know she did not see me, should I have said hi or it doesn't matter if she never saw me. Link to comment
mellow Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I did a terrible thing, hypocritical but.. eh.. i'm only human Link to comment
rigguy Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I did a terrible thing, hypocritical but.. eh.. i'm only human What did you do?? Link to comment
coolchick64 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Hey guys, just thought I would get your opinion. Saw my ex a couple days ago at a bar, she was focused on texting or something and I decided to walk by. Thing is she is about 1000 km away and I was on business at that city. I know she did not see me, should I have said hi or it doesn't matter if she never saw me. If you're trying to be NC, then no, it's fine you didn't stop. Esp. if she didn't see you. Link to comment
Singler Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Day 4 no contact, wanted to call him so bad this morning but went to my sisters house instead and we talked it out.truth is I really have to improve myself and move on.... can't wait until I hit 2 weeks nc .... Link to comment
eleniebby Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Me and my ex go to the same college and we happen to have classes together so I will be seeing him Mon-Fri. Would that still be considered NC? Or would that make it so he won't miss me? I could change my classes if I have to Link to comment
mikeca Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 dont change classes based on him, it will be very tough, but you need to put on a smile and go about as if he isn't even there. Theres nothing that they hate most is to see us laughing and smiling without them, especially when were so "heart broken and depressed", and ex told me that she saw me out after we broke up and I completely ignored her and looked like I was having the time of my life, that she cried later that night. It was not my intent but it was nice to know. Link to comment
eleniebby Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Alright thanks (: I will be doing just that. I just hope that I could bare seeing him after everything cause it's gonna take all I have in me to not look at him and to hold the tears in. Link to comment
lotus26 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Day 6 - I feel ok this morning. I am still avoiding going anywhere he might be or drive past or whatever, I am not ready for that just yet. Wonder if he has thought about me like i have been thinking about him. I begged him to stop contacting me cause i thought it was for the best, might help me heal faster, but i miss him so much Link to comment
Rob1000 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Day 23. Found out (pretty sure anyway) that she's with someone else. It has definitely helped me cut the last chord and head out on the final road to recovery! Link to comment
ackerman Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Day 23. Found out (pretty sure anyway) that she's with someone else. It has definitely helped me cut the last chord and head out on the final road to recovery! thats my biggest fear i cannot no if she is with someone else i just do not want to know, i think that would break me up even more right now. but all the best to you Link to comment
Anonymous3 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Day 3, after breaking it saturday morning. Someone I spoke to who is close to her explained what they thought went wrong, so I offered my apology. I was assured that I did nothing, blah blah...still needs time. Proceeding with a **** it attitude, because there isn't a single thing I can do about it. I plan on dropping the rest of my weight by the new year, if I hear from her great...she's going to have some explaining to do. If not, whatever...it's her loss. Link to comment
eleniebby Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Back to day one. Messed up today. Gonna have to be strong tomorrow. Damn this is hard =/ Link to comment
Theblueman123 Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Day 7 Everything is getting a lot better. I've been out of touch with my ex for two weeks already, and I am really suprised that she hasn't contacted me. I did break NC last week because of her deleting me from facebook (and sending a nasty hate letter, telling me how she never was happy etc, etc...) So I sent her a text saying that I was suprised that she could be so cold, and how I thought she was different, but I realize now that I was wrong. And what's great is how much you realize was wrong with your ex once its over, and how little they truly cared (despite what they said). I forgave mine for cheating on me (Lol @ that, she ended up doing it again). And then getting dumped for her other lover (lolx2). At first it hurt because I truly loved her, but then, I just stopped caring. If she truly loved me, then she couldn't (Or damn wouldn't of) done what she did. I'm happier now more than ever that she's gone, and I'm moving on! Link to comment
bravebird Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 Day 7. Struggling. Thought the anger had passed, but I was wrong. Mostly feeling betrayed. I just feel the weight of it all pressing against my skull. A dull throb. Link to comment
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