THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Anonymous3]

Day 11, and I find myself not checking this place every five minutes.

 

It's weird how I have almost completely gotten over this, but I don't realize it...I just don't think about it anymore. I have maybe a few bad moments every day, some great moment we had just creeps into my mind and I start thinking about it....but then I shut it out.

 

The thought that fixes those moments for me is that she asked for time...so she's going to get time. At this point, I think I can safely say I'll live if she never comes back. One day I'd like to have a chat to see what went wrong, but I'm well on my way to being at the point where she won't be able to get me back...I almost feel bad about moving on, because I think once she figures everything out she's going to be very lonely.

[kerri_nicole]

Day (Not sure really)

 

its difficult becuase we have kids and I was told I had to maintain contact for that reason but to be honest its so hard as he is making life so hard and stressful.

 

Its strange how you can go from loving/wanting someone to hating them so much.

He has still not set days for the kids and for that reason we have to maintain contact although I would prefer a complete cut off. He was asked today to get baby milk and food etc for your 6 month old son, but he did not he told me to f*** off..

 

Is it wrong to totally ignore him now and let him sort his own thing for the kids if he wants to at all???

 

I cant take much more of this at all.

[kisskissNC]

Day 3,

 

I'm finding it hardest to keep my focus when I first wake up and in the evening. My ex has been in my dreams the past few nights and I have been waking up a lot earlier than usual and unable to get back to bed. I used to wake up and look forward to seeing her and hearing her voice to get me into the mood for the day. It's tough but I don't regret NC because I know it would be a lot worse if I was in contact at the moment. In fact I wish I would have started NC earlier!

[sarge1991]

Day 3

 

Im feeling pretty upbeat today. I've been thinking alot about what my goals are and what i want to accomplish. School is really motivating me and keeping my mind off her

[coolchick64]

Day 2

 

I'm working myself into a nice lather of anger and resentment. It's a good thing. Makes NC very easy; enjoyable in fact.

[HeavyD]

Day 3. She made contact last time. I talked to my psych, and asked her what the heck was going on. Why did she hate me so much, yet can't leave me alone?

 

She explained (a lot better than I will right now) that love and hate both come from the same part of your heart. They are both extremely strong emotions, and can be totally related to each other. She is still contacting me, and won't leave me alone, because she still feels passionately about me. Now granted, it's not the most uplifting and positive contact at the moment. But she said it is a LOT better than nothing at all. If nothing else she said, you're getting to her. Without doing anything at all. I haven't responded to any of her texts except for a "wait what?" when I received a piece of one that didn't make sense. 3 more followed barraging me with insults etc. Haven't said anything since. 2 weeks is my goal. 2 weeks of total NC. No facebook, no texts, no updates on anything, no talking to anyone that might talk to her. Nothing. At the end of that period, I'll step back and re-assess the situation.

[lotus26]

Day 16.

 

we live 2 streets away, i was walking down the main street today and for the first time since we broke up i had a moment where i was not looking for you.

I honestly dont think we will ever speak again.

[Intelek]

It's been 1 yr and 4 months since NC and I can tell you it helps you maintain your sanity. However it has also left me emotionally numb and unresolved bc I'm forcing myself to forget or simply stop feeling for someone I was with for 8 yrs. I wonder if cuttig people off truly helps us heal or just become more detached.

[iamnot]

Day 4

 

Feeling very positive. It's the weekend coming up. I have a lot of plans. I'm also fearing her contacting me because I don't know if I'll tell her no to seeing her. For now though, I'm happy I'm in a good mood.

[Anonymous3]

Day 12...not a word sideways from her, and I don't expect one soon.

 

Got an email yesterday about an upcoming event that she would have absolutely friggin loved, I almost clicked the link thinking I'd buy us tickets...that set me back a tad, because that's what we talked about alot when we were getting to know each other.

 

Oh well...I get to travel next week.

[HeavyD]

Anonymous you sound like you travel a lot? I would think that would make life a lot more tolerable because you're out of your everyday surroundings. I think for Christmas I'll make some plans to go snowboarding in Colorado or Tahoe.

 

We had originally planned on visiting her entire family in England, but you know how that goes Day 4 NC. Saw the psych, got the AD meds doubled...

[careber]

Day 1

I failed back to day one ](*,)

[Anonymous3]

Anonymous you sound like you travel a lot? I would think that would make life a lot more tolerable because you're out of your everyday surroundings. I think for Christmas I'll make some plans to go snowboarding in Colorado or Tahoe.

 

We had originally planned on visiting her entire family in England, but you know how that goes Day 4 NC. Saw the psych, got the AD meds doubled...

 

Yeah, I travel a good bit. For the holidays my family usually goes someplace as well, over new years...not sure what's happening this year.

 

It's a double edged sword....yes, I get away from my life to a certain extent, but I'm also away from home. My condo is sort of like my sanctuary, and I like being able to go run on the trail near me every day...it just screws up my routine.

 

Thinking about the holidays sucks, because that's when we started talking last year.

[sarge1991]

Day 4:

 

I've been thinking all day about breaking NC. Her friend texted me yesterday saying that my ex still cares about me, and doesn't know if she should contact me or not. I want to call her!! ugh.

[JonasWaingaro]

Day...forever +1.

Seems I'll never really hear from her again. It makes me sad when others get pings here and there, and old Charlie Brown gets a bag of rocks. I know, I know, it's a blessing in disguise but still hurts to be utterly forgotten and ignored. As I wrote elsewhere, I feel so devalued. Like the relationship meant too much to me and not nearly enough to her. I know in my heart that's not true, she did value 'us' as much as me. It simply wasn't enough in the end. Oh to be able to change this or that. Sheesh. It's almost 2010. I was promised jet-packs and wayback machines! I could use both right now.

 

Hang in there everyone.

[Anonymous3]

. I was promised jet-packs and wayback machines! I could use both right now.

 

 

So true...I might actually be more pissed off about not having a flying car by now than I am about the breakup.

 

Not even kidding...you raise me on the Jetsons and all we have is the friggin Segway? Please.

[kisskissNC]

Day 4,

 

It makes it a lot easier to keep No Contact when they have not tried a single time since leaving to contact you. When I was keeping low contact at the start of our break up it was always me initiating and feeling unfulfilled. I will see a concert ad or an upcoming show that I know we both would have enjoyed together and think about how much fun it could be. I wish I could spend those times with her but I may still go to them with someone else. The no contact leaves me wondering if she really is indifferent to the situation or not. Oh well, here goes to another day!

[HeavyD]

Coolchick no offense, but you sound REALLY bitter. Yea, no contact is great for getting yourself on back on your feet, but at the end of the day can you really say to yourself right now that you don't miss him?

[coolchick64]

Coolchick no offense, but you sound REALLY bitter. Yea, no contact is great for getting yourself on back on your feet, but at the end of the day can you really say to yourself right now that you don't miss him?

 

LOL, yeah, I'm venting a lot of bitterness these days. I won't stay in this frame of mind forever . . .

 

Can I honestly say I don't miss him? No, not at all. I do miss him. A lot! But I don't miss the person he's become since we broke up. Every second of contact with him has been a trial. He's been toying with me. Last week, he lured me out to have dinner with him, after telling me flat out he wasn't dating anyone. At dinner . . . no, at the end of dinner . . . he asked me if I missed him, got me to open up to him, then told me he was in a relationship with the same woman he left me for. When I asked him why he told me he wasn't dating a week earlier, he said he technically wasn't dating because he was already in a relationship. Not nice.

 

So, my bitterness comes from the realization that having contact with him is a very bad thing. At this point, I need to get good and p*ssed off so I can see the situation for what it is and let go.

[jonboi]

6 months since she left

 

5 months of NC

 

What can you do, I did all I could.

[bravebird]

um, yeah, so...last sunday the ex contacts me to go see a movie. what day is it now? no contact yet. nuff said.

[Anonymous3]

Day 13...tomorrow will be two weeks since I reached out.

 

I wish my family will stop asking me if I've talked to her...they know the situation, she asked for time, and time is what she's getting. She seems to be doing just fine.

[rigguy]

Day 7,

 

Broke a few weeks of NC last Friday with an email, my head was about to explode, I guess had a boil over incident. Anyway, it was a whole a lot of rent/nothing and I did not expect an answer. Thought no harm done to healing, considered it a turning point and I can finally accept it. Well, got reply today thanking me for a nice letter and small chit chat... * * * ???

[coolchick64]

Day 4

 

Can't believe it's only been four days. It feels like it's been four weeks! Spewed out all my anger on days 2 & 3 and now I'm feeling sad again. Think I preferred being bitter, but oh well . . . : (

[HeavyD]

Day 6 here. I'm pretty sure there's a new guy she's hanging out with, and I'm pretty sure she's trying as hard as possible to rub it in my face. Lucky for me, I've been strong enough not to speak a word when she comes back yelling.

 

I just wish I knew what happened. I see my girlfriend, the one I love and care for and would do anything to have... And then I see this girl. A bitter, selfish, resentful woman who changed her mindset at the drop of a hat... Something happened, and whatever it was, it's not me.

 

I got my AD meds doubled yesterday. We'll see what effect that has on my upcoming week...