iduncare Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Finally I got past day 1. Start of Day 2 today. I want to break record! Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Day 1 all over again. This time, by her again. Couldn't have been worse, and I have no idea why she did it. She basically said you were the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I don't know why I stuck around for as long as I did. This was after an entire month of 99.9% NC. Don't know what to think at this point. The whole situation is just stupid and immature. And it's so ironic. That was THE biggest turn on for me way back. She was mature. Not like the others I've dated. This girl was genuine and caring. Amazing how people can change so quickly... She is likely upset about something. People's personalities don't usually change that much but anyone can behave poorly when upset. Link to comment
HeavyD Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Yea. There are a lot of things affecting her right now. Not from me, but about me. Things are being said, people are being hurt, and lies are being told. Not a fun position to be in... Link to comment
waveseer Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Yea. There are a lot of things affecting her right now. Not from me, but about me. Things are being said, people are being hurt, and lies are being told. Not a fun position to be in... I'm glad you can see that. I think upset people get a really bad rap from the "you never really know someone until your breakup" club. Link to comment
Beachandsurf Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 been working night shift and have not been able to post. Today is day 3. I think ...its been eight days since we have spoken.. I caved thursday and called his house but didnt leave a message and have not called back, neither has he. Yesterday I was helping our friends move, He never showed, typical. When the day was done everyone was going separate was as couples and I was heading home alone.. it was hard. I didnt sleep well and am sitting here wanting to write him an email.. telling him I miss him and I will always be here if he needs me, but he has to find the strength within himself to get his life together and stop drinking.. Link to comment
Jinky Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Right, i'm back. Sent her my last text today asking her out to the cinema, i know she wont reply... She hasnt said much recently. NC works, it always does- i just need this to keep me right... I've been doing 3/4 days then conctacting her. DAY 1 Link to comment
Anonymous3 Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 One week complete NC...feel like * * * * again this morning. Link to comment
lotus26 Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Day 12. Its getting tough cause i have realised it is over. After 5 weeks broken up and 12 days no contact there is no way he is thinking about me. I miss him very much, i miss him more because i felt like i have lost my bestfriend, someone i could call 5 times a day and laugh about random * * * * . I went to the pub monday, my friend took my phone away straight away, funny thing was in was not really tempted. My heart is still breaking though Link to comment
LillyLooWho Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 I think I went 16 days NC and then today, for no good reason, I broke it. Too bad I can't follow my own advice. So, now I am back at day zero. Oy. Link to comment
Singler Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 day 2 for me, feel like crap, aggghhhhh about 2 months since the breakup 2 false makeups that lasted for a day..... Link to comment
coolchick64 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Day 0 Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I sent an email today . . . but my friends put me up to it! I think it was a good thing to do. I made my feelings clear; outlined some boundaries. Our dinner was such a disaster that some things needed straightening out. I will not contact again, though. I swear on my laptop! Link to comment
Beachandsurf Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 broke no contact completely.. i can't be strong enough.. called his house after his friends kept leaving messages on my cell for him. I spoke with them first and then called him.. he of course did not answer the phone... this is crazy.. we went through all this ten years ago, EXACT same crap.. don't know why I even care at this point. Now I am trying to see what I can do in small claims.. at least I won't feel so used and feel like i WAS just the bank.. Link to comment
iduncare Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 start of day 1 again. Broke it last night when he text me to tell me a piece of good news. Just couldn't bring myself to ignore him. Later that night i dreamt that he hold my hand and kiss me.. Such nice and warm feelings.. I longed to be able to hold his hand again. But the truth is we have stopped holding hands and cuddling long before we broke up. I miss those feelings. Link to comment
mikeca Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 its been one week, and im laughing and having fun again, went out last night with the guys and have a blast, today im in because I have to work tomorrow, but thoughts of her having been creeping in, I've managed to combat them with the fact that I'm the prize here, shes the one whose lost out. Remember everyone to keep loving yourself, we often de-value our own love right after a breakup, lets remember that were damn good people and were gonna have our shots at love again! I hope everyone feels a little better on this saturday night! Link to comment
star111 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Day 1 I seem to break about once every month...and contact. even when he doesn't respond. He has stopped contacting me- and has proved to be the bigger person. I just wish I knew how he was doing so well at it. For awhile we were equally struggling, and holding on to what we knew had to end and staying in touch. And it's true- every time there is contact, the pain and memories start right up like it is brand new. I need to get past the 30 days, because I think I have yet to go that long. It's been a year since the break up, but we dragged on and off since. Last saw eachother 4 months ago-was an amazing weekend of highs and bliss, which quickly came back down to lows and reminders of why we just can't be together. Accepting this challenge, scary as it may be....I need to let go completely. Link to comment
miket Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Day 1 After being split up with my ex for about 5 days, woke up feeling terrible and miserable, everything reminded me of her and I just wanted to cry. At about 3/4pm I started to feel better. I wrote her parents a card to say thank you for everything and the hospitality etc, as soon as I had posted this I felt better. Throughout the rest of the day I felt much better, and didn't think about it so much. Im starting to realise that there is more to life than just this person - even though i'd love to have her back. My problem is that I over think things - I look to far into things so my thoughts run crazy. Im starting to block this out. Im telling myself 'f*** them', I dont need her or anyone else, im going to start getting out and having a good time and worry about number 1 (me). Anyway, Ive just woken up for day 2 and have thought about it a little bit, I dont really feel upset though. It felt abit weird waking up on a Sunday on my own.. Link to comment
Ecce Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Almost 2 months... I am not going to write to him, but I really want to call him and talk to him. He is a person who will not take the first step. I need help and strength to hold me back or to call. Link to comment
LillyLooWho Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Seems there are a lot of us starting again at day 1! Link to comment
rigguy Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Seems there are a lot of us starting again at day 1! Noticed that too. Personally, my head was about to explode yesterday morning and I sent her an email, regretted it immediately. Had a great busy week too. Don't expect a reply. Link to comment
LillyLooWho Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Maybe it's the moon. I felt like you did rigguy, about to explode unless I talked to him. It calmed me down but at what cost? Link to comment
rigguy Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Maybe it's the moon. I felt like you did rigguy, about to explode unless I talked to him. It calmed me down but at what cost? Well, although I did regret contacting her, it was not about her anymore. Just needed to release some feelings which calm me down too. I have no delusion of getting her back and I am certain she will not write back, no damage done to my healing. It was all about me this time. Hope it did not set you back too much LillyLooWho. Link to comment
LillyLooWho Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Eh, who knows? I'm sick of thinking about it. I'm weary from it all. Glad you are not set back rigguy. Link to comment
Anonymous3 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Day 8. Going for a long run as soon as possible...it's a mad day. I'm still pissed off that I have to just blindly give her the time and space she wants. I personally think it's a BS way to dump someone; throw the guilt on yourself, and say you don't know why you're dumping them... If there was any value in the relationship, why the hell do you tell me you love me for the two weeks you say you were having these feelings? Why not come to me immediately, the first time you felt that way, and talk to me about it??? Granted I should have probably done more than stand there in a stupor when I had the chance to talk, but now I'm supposed to just wait...there is no way I didn't do something to contribute to this, act like an adult and tell me what went wrong, so I can fix myself and move on. Such horse * * * * that someone can hold my consciousness hostage like this...I hope you're just as miserable as I am, I really do. It isn't fair that after all that time you get to just * * * * ing walk away from this, and leave me without answers. Link to comment
HeavyD Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Why not come to me immediately, the first time you felt that way, and talk to me about it??? .I hope you're just as miserable as I am, I really do. You essentially in my EXACT situation. Only I've had contact, and it hasn't been good. She didn't come to you, just like mine didn't, because it's hard to confront somebody. It's hard to tell someone that you love - that you don't want to be together anymore. So they go on these retarded "breaks" and then just slowly fade out. If she really did love you, I guarantee she is feeling it. Maybe not to your same degree because you're at the other end. But if there were any true feelings it will still be on her mind and she won't forget you. I thought the same thing for a long time. All these careless facebook posts, status updates, and what seemed to be a totally carefree attitude. It was killing me, and I think that's exactly what she was intending to do. Then, I finally went to her house to totally end things. Say my feelings, move on, and never talk to her again. However things played out a lot differently than I thought. Her mom answered, she wasn't there, and we talked for a while. Turns out she wasn't doing well at all. She had barely been leaving the house, was super stressed, having eating issues, and overall not doing too hot. This was a huge reassurance. Not because she is sick, but because I know that I'm still on her mind... I'm still holding out hope. Be strong man. I know it's hard but you gotta have courage and patience. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Link to comment
Theblueman123 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Day 14 Everything is getting a lot easier. The hatred turned into forgiveness, and then apathy. I can now look at what we "had" and laugh at how little she cared compared to me. It's kind of funny how I completely shut down so many women because I was dating my ex, before finding out that she was talking to her ex's behind my back. I was an awesome boyfriend though, her loss. Time to find someone who appreciates me! Almost half way through Link to comment
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