HeavyD

Hahahaha ohhhhhh the irony. Seems like the less I think about her, the less she does. Here I post again for the first time in about a month, and 2 days later she texts me on day 10 LOL. We're supposed to meet up tomorrow. Can't wait to get this over with...

WOW haven't been on here in a long time. Thought I would pop in with a little update. Day 8 here. Not having any problem not talking to her, but we've contacted a few times recently. She still is the one initiating everything, which I find very interesting to say the least. More on that in a minute. I do miss her still SO much, but I think I've fully recovered from the heartbreak, so keep hope everyone. It IS possible to move forward positively and continue to live. I've since stopped therapy and counseling (finished, not quit). In the gym 4 times a week and have gained back all 20+ lbs I lost in the first month of the break(up). I feel the best I have in years - mentally, physically, and emotionally. I've been pounding away my schoolwork and exams, getting awesome grades, and ending the semester strong. All with the dependency of NO ONE but myself Now on her part... Well I got a little curious and looked at her facebook the other day. What a sad shock. I was browsing through some of our old pictures, and noticed that she has lost a LOT of weight. And for a girl who has been struggling with an ED for years, that's not good. The pictures of us she still has up, she looks very healthy, and most importantly - happy. These new ones she has added her cheeks and eye sockets have sunken, and her bones and brow line much more prominent. And coming from someone who just lost a ton of weight, it takes a great deal of lost mass before it starts affecting your face like that. I don't know what her new relationship is like, and honestly, I don't really care. She still contacts me, now WANTING to meet up to give my stuff back. Something that would have been absolutely unheard of a few months ago. I still think about her a lot, and miss her even more. But I've decided once I get my stuff from her, I'm going to cut it off. No more contact. I will neither respond nor initiate. I gave her a respectable, honest apology for what I KNOW i had done wrong, yet the past is the past and I can't do anything to change it. Her bitterness is her own poison now, and until she can apologizes for her part, or at least some of the things she has said (which of course will never happen), there is no reason to continue any sort of communication. So in a nutshell, my entire breakup over the past few months has been like this: - "We need to go on a break"... excellent terms - "You were a waste of my time, I can't believe I stayed around as long as I did, you're a boy not a man, yada, yada, yada..." - "you have some of my stuff, when can we meet?" - I drop off her stuff, avoiding confrontation - "I have your stuff, when can we meet" All of this was done with me in near complete NC. No initiation by me. Sorry for the long post, stay strong people - you will all get through this and be a better person because of it.

Well it was a super rough weekend, but I think I'm finally coming out of it. The car is totalled, not much I can do about it. Time to find another. Last time I made contact was day of the accident, so I guess I'm on day Day 4. I would still really like to go 30 days without contact, but I feel like she's gonna break it again soon. Either way, I won't be the one to initiate it. Her new boy has been posting messages on her page now saying "I'm so lucky to have such a gorgeous and wonderful woman in my life blah blah etc." Too classic. I know it's pretty messed up, but if I had to but an expiration date on it, I would say it's over by next may. That way, she has someone through the depressing winter months, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, and then sometime around st. patty's day, I'd say it starts going downhill. And looking at her past 2 relationships, it'll be FAST. If it really is genuine, well more power to them. Time will tell all, heal all, reveal all. Stay strong.

Thanks guys. It's definitely been tough. The airbags did go off. I felt like I was punched in the nose, and now have a black eye from it. But other than stiffness/soreness I'm ok. Which of course, is most important. I actually texted her after it happened and said "today's not going to work". She found out a little while later I guess from word of mouth, and texted "are you ok" etc, etc. I guess being nice. Later that night her mom texted me saying sorry, and thankful I was ok. Before I went to bed I popped on facebook, and her brother also sent me a message saying sorry for the accident, and hope all is well... At the very least I know that I'm not forgotten and HAVE actually had a significant impact on not only her, but her family as well... Day 2

Well guys, today has been especially rough. I know we're supposed to be shooting for no contact, and I think I was given the biggest sign possible this evening... We were supposed to meet up, she had some things of mine she wanted to return. This was especially odd, seeing as how ugly the breakup was. It was pretty obvious there is/was still some feelings. I felt awesome. Had class all morning, planned on going home and prepping so I would look my best, and prepare myself for whatever was about to happen - good or bad. Well on the way back down to see her, I wrecked my car. Into a school bus. This Jeep was the other half of my life. Every spare second that I wasn't spending with her, I devoted to this damn car. So many memories were made in it. From making love, to cruising the beach, to driving 3000+ miles accross the country, it was more than just a car. As soon as I realized it was the last thing I had that still kind of connected me to her, All the feelings came back. Could just be the trauma/shock, but man this is especially hard... I feel like I was just set back months... image removed image removed

I hope it's got nothing to do with her?

Crymeout, I know it hurts, but you've also only gone 4 days since you last had contact. In the grand scheme of things, that's nothing. Give it some more time. Focus on yourself and be strong.

Dude, facebook is going to destroy you. Defriend her if you know you will only unblock or reactivate your account. She is only doing this stuff to spite you, and it's not fair. Delete her, and if down the road you have recovered, you can always add her back. Also, I would consider "poking" a means of communication. Be it a stupid, meaninglous way of flirting - you are initiating contact, and she is responding. Delete her, it will make your life MUCH easier, I promise.

Well guys I officially graduated from NC to LC. I reconciled, got the chance to actually say what I've been wanting to say FOREVER, and am back on neutral ground. While this might be a huge setback to some, it was a giant relief for me. I can finally stop counting days, wondering why she's contacting me, and playing stupid childish games. I even gave her the birthday gift that I have been hanging onto for the past 3 months... I still have a tiny ounce of hope in the back of my mind, and I pray that it never goes away. This girl has meant the world to me, and she still does. But right now, it's just not my time to be with her. It IS however, my time to become the best me that I possibly can. And that is where my focus is going Hang in there everyone. I know it is tough, but things WILL get easier, and you WILL be a better person because of it. Stay strong.

Just as I suspected... Broke again today. Was on Day 5. I'll make a new thread on this one, it was pretty weird/confusing??

^ Agreed. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Facebook is poison to dumpees. I made the mistake of keeping us friends on the site and watching her every single action. Who she friended, who she deleted, what pictures were taken down, how long had it'd been since she'd updated it. It took about a month until I realized "W T F AM I DOING!?". I'm sure if I had blocked her right off the bat, that entire month would have been saved and a lot of hardship spared. Art is also a huge release for me. Whether it's designing tattoos, pen and ink, metalworking, I love it all. Find something that you are (used to be) passionate about, and exploit it. Be productive. OT question, have any of you guys been getting sick lately? Not like breakup induced, but seems like EVERYONE on the East Coast here is catching some kind of illness like the plague? I've felt like death for about the past 4 days...

^ There's some true reasoning hahaha... You guys are doing good, keep it up. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that facebook is POISON. If it is a source of unpleasant emotions, you have to get rid of it. Delete them from your friends list, or better yet block them. When you block them, your profile completely disappears to them from the entire database. They can't search for you, view your material, anything. All it is going to do is set you back and hinder any progress. One of the things that really helped me was hanging out with my girlfriends. No, not ex's. But any of my friends that are girls. Bro time is a complete MUST, but sometimes the opposite sex is much more pleasant to be around. Stay busy, stay outside, pick up a hobby, detail your car, do all your laundry, do ANYTHING to keep yourself busy. Keep it positive though. Above all else, make sure you are still eating and sleeping. Lack of one or the other, or both, will have a devastating effect on your progress.

It definitely does. The longest stretch I have been able to have was 22 days. From about day 8-15 I kinda lost track. Only to come back and say WOW that really did go by quick... Give it a try, you might like it better than ticking each day off one at a time.

Day 1! made it through, surprisingly. I thought for sure she would try and say something again. Please guys, stay strong, stay focused, and resist the temptation to stoop back down to their level as much as you want to. When you finally realize how fulfilling life is without the dependence of someone else, and you see things from a bigger perspective - well, it's a feeling that can't be described... Hang in there...

She broke contact. Yet again. It is so blatantly obvious that I am moving on, and she HATES it. Might be a little wrong, but boy, am I soaking this up like a sponge... She asked for $50 that she had used to rent us a surfboard at the beach the end of july....Really? Get over it, I know you're not worried about the money, and it's so easy to see right through. If she was actually nice or came off as anything but hostile I would try to keep hope for reconciliation. But at this point I just don't think that's gonna happen.