THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[tujna]

Day 19 31 days since we last saw each other...

 

Ah, I have to say that I am OK, much better than the first couple of weeks, I am calm and stronger. But... I really miss him. I feel like I am ready to let go all negative memories and think about the future. I still can't imagine it without him. I think I am crossing the days where you are scared that this situation might last forever, i.e. you will never be with them again. He hasn't made an effort to call or see me but started checking my profile every day several time a day. I know he misses me. I wish he wasn't that stubborn and realize that our love is the only think that makes sense in our lives. Nothing else is as important, not even his family because they will always be his family. I miss him, I don't want this to end like the biggest love stories which are always impossible.

[LostSolace]

Your profile, Tujna? Are you talking MySpace/Facebook? I didn't think you could see who looked at your profile..

[tujna]

Your profile, Tujna? Are you talking MySpace/Facebook? I didn't think you could see who looked at your profile..

 

I don't think you can either. I am speaking about something else. I think there is an option in Myspace to count the number of times your page was visited which would be some indication, I guess.

[pg13]

Things are good. I feel like I miss her sometimes, and I remind myself of how the relationship screwed with me. That missing someone feeling turns in to "I hate you".

 

I met this girl the other day at a group interview at a bank. We hit it off (it seems) and she gave me her number, I'm thinking about calling tonight or tomorrow. Not sure yet...

 

I'm extremely addicted to this forum now. I've been on it pretty much the whole day either through my laptop or on my phone. I'm feeling dizzy from looking at my iphone and macbook screen reading and reading.

[FriendnorFoe]

forecast calls for some rainy days this weekend and all next week, dont wanna be couped up in the house with my thoughts, this nice weather has really allowed me to focus on things i wanna do. The rain might bring me sorrow but the sun will be back eventually. I have found that I am perfectly capable of living my life without her, I would just enjoy having her in it with me, I dont feel like a day will come where I just dont want her if she dosent call back, if anything time will just bring me other ways to occupy my mind, ultimatley not forgetting about her, but having gone longer without than with her will give me no choice but to carry on.

[philove]

Day 37

 

I won't lie, the last couple of days have been really tough. I'm beginning to feel guillty for all the mistakes I made during our relationship. I had lots of trust and insecurity issues with her and I know at times I upset her by asking her questions which weren't necessary. I am truly sorry for hurting her in that way. I realise now I should have never got back with her, mainly because I found it very hard to trust her and that was what ultimately finished us.

 

I still really miss her and love her, I don't think that will ever fade until I find someone else to channel my love onto.

[pace of ace]

Day 37

 

I won't lie, the last couple of days have been really tough. I'm beginning to feel guillty for all the mistakes I made during our relationship. I had lots of trust and insecurity issues with her and I know at times I upset her by asking her questions which weren't necessary. I am truly sorry for hurting her in that way. I realise now I should have never got back with her, mainly because I found it very hard to trust her and that was what ultimately finished us.

 

I still really miss her and love her, I don't think that will ever fade until I find someone else to channel my love onto.

 

 

I feel the same with this part 100%

[philove]

I feel the same with this part 100%

 

It's a horrible realisation isn't it.

[pace of ace]

It's a horrible realisation isn't it.

 

Yeah it is, but what can you do.

[philove]

Yeah it is, but what can you do.

 

The only thing you can do is to get yourself out there, make yourself avaliable because you will have more chances of meeting someone.

[Ixtapa]

Day 25

We are not friends on FB anymore but I keep checking if he changed his profile pic or if he has added new friends. I guess NC should now include NOT checking this, it makes absolutely no sense.

I'm starting a new job on Monday, hoping this will keep me busy enough so I will stop thinking so much about him (I was jobless since the end of January...way too much time to think).

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 28

 

Not good today. Think I saw her at the bus stop right outside my place (I can only begin to imagine why) with what looked like her flatmate too. I only caught a glance though, didn't want to make eye contact but I'm 90% sure it was them.

 

It hurts because this is the first time I've seen her since the middle of February, and part of me feels guilty for just walking by like that. And I'm a bit shaken by it.

 

Alas, Sunday is day 30, and also my closure day. If she forgets the date of my birthday (like I think she will, she was never one to remember anything related to me) or just doesn't bother to wish me well (we're supposed to be on good terms currently) then she is nothing to me.

[Cat76]

Um, I'm ok. Started to realise I'm not thinking about him as much and when I do, it doesn't give me butterflies. In my heart of hearts I know I'm better off without him. Maybe this is the start of really getting over him.

 

We shall see

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 32

i deleted his number out of my mobile today I did however write it down on a piece of paper which i will keep in my room, but at least i wont be carrying around a way of contact to him, with me, everywhere i go. Ive been wanting to do this for a while, seeming i have no intention what so ever for breaking contact in the future (unless he does a bit longer down the track) but havnt been able to do it, just because i dont want to loose all ways of reaching him, so this is my comfortable way out.

It felt great to press delete, of his name in which he had teased me and personalized it to a silly nickname that i hated... I felt somewhat free-er, that if i ever see him drive past me again, i wont stop and think, should i text him? etc., because i wont have his number on me! Plus, i can just feel the satisfaction in replying, "who is this?" if he ever texts me and the disapointment he'll feel when he realizes im no longer waiting around or no longer in love with him anymore

I hope one day i can tear up his number forever.

And you know what i realized? This break up HAD to happen in order for me to grow up as a person. If no body had problems, we would all stay the same in our comfy zone, i needed this problem to over come it, and change into a better person.

Weekend woot! Shopping with girls tomorrow

Onwards to paradise

[Tanzi]

DAY 32

i deleted his number out of my mobile today I did however write it down on a piece of paper which i will keep in my room,

 

lol I have done this many times before. I keep his number in my knicker drawer!! I do, however, always end up putting the phone number back on my phone when we end up being friends again as I get fed up of having to type out his number every time. This time however I haven't made such a "statement" by deleting his number. I wonder if this is significant in anyway?

[Tanzi]

Day 4 since I last sent a text. Its been two weeks since I last saw him.

 

I'm feeling pretty positive today. In fact I'm feeling feisty today. I am hating him today. How dare he not want me.

 

I keep thinking about the part I played in our messed up relationship and what I did wrong. But I thought today "you know, he aint so perfect". There is a lot about him that is making me question our relationship. He has been on dating sites for almost 10 years searching for women and although he says he really is looking for someone special I can't imagine him giving this "obsession" up. He has hundreds of women on FB that he has trawled the internet for over the last few years. They are all beautiful, stunning women. After having been looking for so long he has become somewhat "fussy". I really don't think he is going to find what he is looking for. I don't think it exists. By his own admission, his standards are very high and whenever he would talk about ex-girlfriends the word "stunning" was always thrown into the sentence (zzzzzzz). When I used to make sarky remarks to this he said that I should take that as a compliment!! Yeah thanks for that!!

 

But now I'm thinking - hang on you aint exactly no Brad Pitt you know, if you do find this perfect woman, why on earth would she want you?! Anyway, if he wants to spend the next 11 years looking for his Angelina Jolie good luck to him. Meanwhile I will move on in the real world.

 

And anyway if I AM stunning then what the hell am I doing with HIM!! (Oooohh I'm on a role). Im off mate - now does anybody know where Brad Pitt is this weekend?

[coldheart]

Best of luck, Coldheart!

 

It's all about living the dream..

 

Let's hope yours comes true.

 

Well we had a great talk in person and both agreed that our love was too strong to let dry up. We agreed on giving our relationship another go this time with baby steps and more care when saying things that would hurt. I think we are in a new chapter of approach. I guess my 9th day break of NC was a positive one in my particular case since it allowed my ex enough time to realize that her love was too strong to let me go forever.

[LostSolace]

Wow! Congratulations Coldheart! That's incredible news.

 

That; tied up with my best friend making up with his own girlfriend of 4+ years is really good news.

 

I'm on day 8 of NC however do not see a similar outcome in my case! If I could..I'd be over the moon..but the difference in my case is that there's another man.

 

She didn't tell me..lied to me, in fact; but realising it has let me see that the more time I NC; the easier it will (should) be for me to let go.

[FigureItOut]

Congrats Coldheart!! I am so happy and envious of you at the same time. Also Lost Solace, congrats on your friends finding each other again. T

 

his is so hard. Especially because two important things happened at work today, and both times I reached for my phone to call him. But, I was strong, and hung it back up before I dailed, as hard as it was to do. I've still not heard a peep from him since he left.

 

I posted a short version of my story here -

 

I'd appreciate any input anyone has

[FriendnorFoe]

yea, the day after we broke up I deleted her number, stopped going on facebook or myspace, took all my pictures of her and us, presents she gave me, things that belonged to her and put them in a box in the cellar. I dont want to be reminded or her in any way, I already still think abou ther time to time, just imagine how much more intense it would be if I saw all this stuff. Glad you are optomistic, there are day where I feel on top of the world and then days I go through identity crisis crap, all in all this is normal though, you are going through withdrawls from the relationship.

 

I have been reading on diffrent threads people saying they believe when you actually move on and feel super good about life its like she or he can sense it through some weird connection and really then fears losing you for good, just curious to what other peoples takes are on this? Voodoo mumbo jumbo or any truth in this.

[tujna]

Day 20 32 since I last saw him...

 

Friday night, the forum seems pretty empty so I decided to post since there is nothings exciting happening around here... He keeps checking what I do, I know he cares, I know he misses me and yet, this is not enough. I will wait for him but I don't know for how long. I bet he is puzzled I am not calling to beg him, it has never been that long. But, on the other hand, he is not calling either. There is only one meaning to this: he is still determined to be without me or at least more inclined to be without me than with me. There is nothing I can do if he doesn't want to give us another chance.

 

I, on the other hand, am calmer. Not dying anymore, thank God. Am I moving on? I don't think so. School will be over in two weeks and I will move away for the summer. Looking forward to this. I will move out of the place at which we lived together. The good thing is that I know if I survived this, I will survive everything...

[endgame]

DAY 1...all over again.

 

So I've been on a mix of LC and NC. And 3 months after the break up, my ex tried to talk to me again. Bad idea. I ended up relapsing all over again but I have to say it's nowhere as bad as the beginning. It just made me feel down all day but I'm okay now.

Going strict NC now!!!

[Cat76]

Day 11

 

Where is everybody? Are you all out enjoying the weather, its lovely and sunny in my part of the world. I'm thinking of sitting outside to do my revision for an exam.

 

I hope we are all doing ok.

[Tanzi]

Day 11

 

Where is everybody? Are you all out enjoying the weather, its lovely and sunny in my part of the world. I'm thinking of sitting outside to do my revision for an exam.

 

I hope we are all doing ok.

 

Yes I was outside enjoying the sunshine. It was nice to be out with a friend, by the beach, having lunch but it just made me think back to my holiday 3 weeks ago with my ex-boyfriend/good friend!!!

[Cat76]

Yes I was outside enjoying the sunshine. It was nice to be out with a friend, by the beach, having lunch but it just made me think back to my holiday 3 weeks ago with my ex-boyfriend/good friend!!!

 

It's good to get out and about and by the beach!!! Even better

 

I find myself being reminded about stuff I did with my ex, but it gets easier. I find that as the days/weeks go by, the butterfly feeling in my tummy subsides (if that makes sense). Plus I'm starting to think of all the things I can do on my own or with someone else. It's all about having fun for myself.

 

Hang in there