Tell Me Why Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 I have to start all over again. I broke NC today and I'm really frustrated. She sends me a text message asking if I'm going to Texas, I had to go for my work and I got back last night. I ignore that text, then I get an email on my work email that says "Are you in Texas, you shouldn't go because of the swine flu". I wanted to ignore it, but I caved in and replied with a simple email: "I already went to Texas and I got back last night, I'm pretty sure I don't have the swine flu". Later she responds saying "Ok that's good". Why did she contact me? What is her motive? Why is she acting concerned about my well-being all of a sudden? I shouldn't have broken NC but I did. But I do feel like my response was just a friendly, innocent response. Link to comment
pdoog Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Day 26 or 27 I kind of lost count Doing a bit better. Still miss her and still have feelings for her. keeping busy. Link to comment
le_sex Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 5 days no contact im doing well, at the moment im working on me building my self-confidence ect through the gym and new social outlets. im getting friendly with this girl but im still not over my ex as there are many unresolved issues there, at this stage im wondering if i want to get back together or simply want closure. Link to comment
LostSolace Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Day 6 - Thinking about her. Have been tempted to look at her MySpace just to even get a status update but decided against it as I know I'd be back at square one! Keeping very low profile. Haven't even logged into my own MySpace since this started. On invisible in Messenger mode, in case she hasn't deleted me; and trying my best not to get miserable..especially when I first wake up which is my weakest moment. Link to comment
coldheart Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Day 6 - Thinking about her. Have been tempted to look at her MySpace just to even get a status update but decided against it as I know I'd be back at square one! Keeping very low profile. Haven't even logged into my own MySpace since this started. On invisible in Messenger mode, in case she hasn't deleted me; and trying my best not to get miserable..especially when I first wake up which is my weakest moment. OMG this sounds like me in terms of her Myspace account. Hers is private and she is not my friend so status would be all I could see anyways, but I've been strong about this for the past 4 days. Day 8 of NC today. She was calling, texting and e-mailing a lot up until Monday evening, then it all stopped. I'm feeling stronger as I read through this forum. I have some times when I miss her and feel down (I still care for and love her) and over analyze certain things. However, I try to avoid the thoughts of her and focus on the benefits of NC which is to have her and I both miss each other, focus on our mistakes, and how to better ourselves to become better partners for the future. I've thought about her for the past two days since she has been silent, but I have to continue to be strong. Link to comment
pg13 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Good Job. Myspace/Facebook/IM makes break ups so much harder nowadays. I just keep reminding myself that there will be no good emotion that comes out of checking up on her profile or status. Absolutely nothing. If she says she misses me and feeling sad in an update? I'll feel bad and try to contact her and go through the whole process again. If she seems happy in an update and having fun, I'll feel worse and it'll ruin my day. What I can't help is having dreams about her. That's what I can't control. I wake up early in the morning feeling so bad because it was just a dream. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 stopped going on myspace and face book completley, def. helps to just not know what is going on with her, I still wonder but dont lose my cool as much if I was seeing her updates, her taking me off her top or blocking me, if anything makes me look like the one that is too busy to go on anymore. Only thing I am curious about sometimes is if she thinks she is happier being with or without me, anybodys guess I suppose. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest Hang on in there. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Why did she contact me? What is her motive? Why is she acting concerned about my well-being all of a sudden? I shouldn't have broken NC but I did. But I do feel like my response was just a friendly, innocent response. I think this is the question we all ask ourselves. And one that just confuses the hell out of us. Dont beat yourself up over breaking NC. You have kept to your side of the bargain. To have avoided it would probably have come accross as childish, that you were still angry and showing emotion. In your case it was the right thing to do and your reply was perfect - short and to the point. ps. Pumpkin is adorable!! Link to comment
Tell Me Why Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 I think this is the question we all ask ourselves. And one that just confuses the hell out of us. Dont beat yourself up over breaking NC. You have kept to your side of the bargain. To have avoided it would probably have come accross as childish, that you were still angry and showing emotion. In your case it was the right thing to do and your reply was perfect - short and to the point. ps. Pumpkin is adorable!! Thanks! On the way home from work today my phone rings and its her, I didn't answer it and now I am wondering why she was calling. I think I am going to break NC again in a few days and text her "Hope you and Pumpkin are doing well" or something like that. I don't see any harm in that. Link to comment
Jabbe Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 I'm proud of myself in going 30 full days of being completely happy without her. I realized in only one month how unhealthy being with her was for me. My life has more options and possibilities. I know that she doesn't want to part. She even went as far as to say that she doesn't want me having sex with anyone else. She asked me if I love her and told me that she'll never love anyone else like she loved me. She kept asking if I was sure I wanted to leave her in many different ways. I told her that she made the choice for me when she put her hands on me. I don't know what I was thinking trying to make it work with someone who has so many emotional issues. I have the divorce papers and this should be over very soon. My challenge is over. Link to comment
waveseer Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Day whatever plus one, went surfing and not only had a good time but was encouraged with my progress popping up! Yea for healing! Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Stilll feeling quite good today Link to comment
pace of ace Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Day 30 I made it! 30 days NC. \\ How do i feel? Ok. Am i healed? No. Am i stronger? Yes. I've proven to myself that when it comes down to it, i can do whatever i have to do. Go me Link to comment
philove Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Day 30 I made it! 30 days NC. \\ How do i feel? Ok. Am i healed? No. Am i stronger? Yes. I've proven to myself that when it comes down to it, i can do whatever i have to do. Go me Well done pace! I feel the same as you, it will get better with time. If your ex contacts you will you reply back? Link to comment
pace of ace Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 LOL.... just sent you a pm on that. Well as it stands, i still want reconcilliation with her so i usually reply, just being polite you know. But i don't call/text her AT ALL anymore which is a step forward for me. Link to comment
philove Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 LOL.... just sent you a pm on that. Well as it stands, i still want reconcilliation with her so i usually reply, just being polite you know. But i don't call/text her AT ALL anymore which is a step forward for me. pm'd ya back! Link to comment
Cat76 Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Day 30 I made it! 30 days NC. \\ How do i feel? Ok. Am i healed? No. Am i stronger? Yes. I've proven to myself that when it comes down to it, i can do whatever i have to do. Go me Hey, well done GO YOU Link to comment
pace of ace Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Hey, well done GO YOU Cheers cat Keep up your good work too! Link to comment
hesnotworthit Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Day 30 I made it! 30 days NC. \\ How do i feel? Ok. Am i healed? No. Am i stronger? Yes. I've proven to myself that when it comes down to it, i can do whatever i have to do. Go me Congrats on the achievement! Keep solidering on Link to comment
hesnotworthit Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 DAY 31 i saw him today. untentially of cause. I pulled up to the exact same sets of lights on our city's main street i was at, last time i saw him, it was on a thursday nite too...and low and behold he pulls up opposite me at the lights. Last time, my mind exploded and i felt like someone had just stabbed me in the heart and i obbsessed about him for the next couple of days, constintly feeling like * * * * . This time, my body just felt a little tense, wasnt a nice feeling, but i wasnt in deep pain. My mind switched focus off seeing him onto other thoughts two set of lights later, i was half way home, when i thought, "oh i stopped thinking about him, and im singing and feeling great...what the?". And right now i just feel like its any other day. Its weird how much i let it effect me last time, compared to this time...kinda stupid really to get all worked up about just seeing someone pull up in front of you... But at the same time, i was starting to feel like he was really dead to me...and now he just reasured me he's alive and kicking...although he was in the car with his gay shallow friend that i never really liked. Still if im this much better this time seeing him, i hope i dont flinch a bit next time i run into him... hes such a loser haha. Other then that, meh day... Link to comment
pace of ace Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Congrats on the achievement! Keep solidering on Thank you. Same to you Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Thanks! On the way home from work today my phone rings and its her, I didn't answer it and now I am wondering why she was calling. I think I am going to break NC again in a few days and text her "Hope you and Pumpkin are doing well" or something like that. I don't see any harm in that. The fact that you have feelings for her must make it incredbly hard to stick to NC when she contacts you. You have done extremely well. Why don't you wait until she makes contact again (and it certainly sounds like she will) and then reply instead of you making any initial contact. Its kind of a compromise and you still haven't broken your side of the bargain!! When we go NC we are doing so for our own long term benefits. Surely, responding politely to an ex's text is showing maturity, politeness and respectfulness (in a "they've dumped you but you can still be nice to them" kind of way) which can only work in our favour. Having said that this does happen to be a "No contact challenge" thread so perhaps I am wrong!! Its only Day 3for me and I have been struggling to stay off his Facebook etc sites (am I really 41 years old!??!) I am struggling today. I know I can't make contact and fall back into "what was" but it still hurts like hell. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Day 30 I made it! 30 days NC. \\ How do i feel? Ok. Am i healed? No. Am i stronger? Yes. I've proven to myself that when it comes down to it, i can do whatever i have to do. Go me Well done you You are the inspiration I need right now. Link to comment
coldheart Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Day 9. She is still trying to contact me. A few missed calls and a voicemail which I deleted by mistake (It was probably for the better). This is pretty tough to carry on but I am staying strong Link to comment
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