THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[LemonCheesecak]

I feel you FriendnorFoe, except I can't even watch our favourite shows yet 3 months down the line. I'm almost afraid to.

 

I realised a while ago that I was mourning the loss of my closest friend. I choose to look at this as a positive sign though. Shows me I'm capable of real healing and that I'm only human after all.

[tujna]

Friendnorfoe, I swear I could have mentioned most of those things between my ex and me. It made me think that our relationships might not be as unique as we suppose. I am sure you are going to find such fun somewhere else if it is not with her.

 

Day 17 for me... 29 since seeing him last.

 

Still hard to imagine my life without him and that we won't come back. We'll see what happens. I am not nearly as down as I was a week to 10 days ago. Just so sorry things came down to such a stage where we love each other and cannot be together, with the help of both of us. Let us see if it is or is not meant to be... Sigh...

[Ixtapa]

Day 23

Life goes on but I just spent a few days hanging out with some of his best friends. I miss him....

[FriendnorFoe]

no one goes on without reflecting or thinking about them at least alittle, even the really strong ones, this would be unrealistic. We are all the same here, some stronger and some weaker in certain areas. I have crossed the river, taking my time but perservering, lost my footing from time to time but was overcome with determination. I have seen people who have been completely swept by the current while others blow right by me as if it was a race. Now that I have crossed I have proved my strength to myself, become a diffrent person, but cant help but glance at the other side, missing the familiar parts of my life I left behind. I hope well meet again, but if not I will not bring myself to crawling down a hole to die.

[Tell Me Why]

Still hurting and wishing she would call me. I am worried she thinks I no longer care about her, since she mentioned that me doing NC was selfish. I am thinking about maybe sending her a text and just saying "I hope you and Pumpkin are doing well". Pumpkin was our dog, who is pictured in my avatar. Not only do I miss her, but I miss him to death. I always took care of him, fed him, and walked him every day, he's like my son. Would there be any harm in just texting and asking how the dog is??

[pg13]

Getting easier this time around. Almost every day some girl pops in to my life and occupies my time. Today I met this amazing girl at a group interview that I had; we spoke for about 20 minutes after the interview. She's a USC grad, finishing her masters at USC, speaks 6 languages, beautiful, great personality, lives near me... I got her number today and I plan on calling her during the end of the week. I'm hoping she's in to me and DOESN'T have a BF. Wishful thinking... But it keeps me going.

[waveseer]

Day whatever, I have no idea. I'm here for life so it doesn't matter.

[Cat76]

Morning peeps. Day 8 for me and I'm feeling good. Do I miss him? Yes, but not as much as yesterday. Do I still think about him? Yes, but not as often as yesterday. Do I care? Not really, he's an idiot and not worth my time

[ScorpiGal83]

Me too. Thumb wrestling!! omg

 

Day 34. It's going alright. Don't reaaallllyyyy think abt him much.

[pace of ace]

Dat 29

 

Almost there. I've shown myself i'm stronger than i thought i could be! When i need to do something for myself, i can do it.

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 30! 1 month!

yayy. Is my life better, without him in it for the past month? Mostly yes.

Without him ive:

become stronger, learnt to cope with things on my own, learnt to occupy myself and make myself happy through friends and not relaying on him to, learnt that people cant always be what you think they are (he proved this), learnt that re-entering the single life isnt as horrible as i first made it out to be, become closer to my friends and family, learnt not to give my heart away easily or quickly, learnt that there is always a silver lining - no matter how small.

But most importantly ive learnt to believe people's actions, over their words.

Any regrets for going NC? None what so ever. IF i had of stayed in contact for the past month, i believe that i would still be at square one. IF i had of stayed or broken NC i know i would have been sucked in again and done something stupid. It would have stalled my healing process, and everytime he would of told me about something he was doing, I would have obbsessed with thinking about him doing it and wished i was there with him. What if he had of gottern a new GF and told me about it? That would have crushed me. I would of only experienced the happy times with him, and I would have forgottern all the horrible things he also did to me. I would have not let go, and accepted that i no longer want or need any reconsilations.

 

I believe I'm probally a bit over 90% over him. Yes I still have times when i miss him, but they are instintally followed by thoughts of how much he was a jerk to me...he was never worth it! I plan to not break NC for at least another two months, after that if i break NC it would only be if he contacted me first...im not going to be dragged down by bringing him back in my life again!

 

Time isnt what has changed me, my actions are.

[hesnotworthit]

Day 30. 1 month! WOOT WOOT!

 

1 month, still strong. I'm very proud of myself! I still keep having those pesky ex dreams, but I woke up feeling indifferent still. Went to school, caught up with a friend of mine. We were near the school cafeteria (everybody waits here before school starts) and we were talking, and I turned my gaze and, in the sea of many faces, I saw my ex looking dead straight at me with the most apathetic yet semi-evil stare. I thought to myself, "... Ew."

 

LOL! Oh well. I felt indifferent seeing him, it was amazing. He had an ugly hair cut. Still moving on.

 

 

Haha its hilarious how our thoughts of people can change so dramatically in a short amount of time. I too, get grossed out by my ex sometimes lol. I think it helps the moving on process, if we no longer think of them in an affectionate way, we're letting go of ever liking or loving them in the first place. Congrats on the 30 days btw! Keep solidering on

[Tanzi]

Day 17 for me... 29 since seeing him last.

 

Still hard to imagine my life without him and that we won't come back. We'll see what happens. I am not nearly as down as I was a week to 10 days ago. Just so sorry things came down to such a stage where we love each other and cannot be together, with the help of both of us. Let us see if it is or is not meant to be... Sigh...

 

Its still early days yet. Hang on in there. You are being very brave and it isn't easy, I know!

 

I have tried NC several times but I guess until finding this forum I've never taken it seriously. I have now started NC again and am currently only on day 2!! This time, however, I want stick with it.

 

Keep up the good work

[Tanzi]

Dat 29

 

Almost there. I've shown myself i'm stronger than i thought i could be! When i need to do something for myself, i can do it.

 

Fab!! Isn't this what it is all about?

[philove]

Day - 35

 

This is all too easy now! I'm at the stage now where I can't be assed to keep counting the days because I don't care anymore!

 

I think the biggest test for me will be when she breaks NC, I don't know if I have the strength to ignore her just yet but I partly hope she does break it just so I can test myself.

 

Roll on day 60!

[pace of ace]

Well done hesnotworthit.

[pace of ace]

Fab!! Isn't this what it is all about?

 

 

 

I'd say so yeah!

[pace of ace]

Day - 35

 

This is all too easy now! I'm at the stage now where I can't be assed to keep counting the days because I don't care anymore!

 

I think the biggest test for me will be when she breaks NC, I don't know if I have the strength to ignore her just yet but I partly hope she does break it just so I can test myself.

 

Roll on day 60!

 

 

 

Keep on rolling Phil!

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 26

 

Getting close, but today is generally rubbish. Oh well.

[indierockgrl]

Day - 35

 

This is all too easy now! I'm at the stage now where I can't be assed to keep counting the days because I don't care anymore!

 

I think the biggest test for me will be when she breaks NC, I don't know if I have the strength to ignore her just yet but I partly hope she does break it just so I can test myself.

 

Roll on day 60!

 

im so proud of you.

[Qut81]

qut81, I am sorry, I know how hard it is for you but you have to STOP. Please stop. It is for your good. Do not send anything anymore, not even this last letter. There is just no sense. Another 30 days will go and you will feel so much better. Don't do it. It will not help you. It will only harm you. The best message you can send to him is that you are moving on and you are fine without him. The way to send this message is NC.

 

Thank you Tujna, I didnt send it. My friend also gave me some tuff love. She feels when I do this, I am hurting myself. She said that it makes her upset that I treat myself this way bc its like I dont feel Im worth better. She is right. Its getting rediculous and I need to focus my energy on other things.

[Tanzi]

Still hurting and wishing she would call me. I am worried she thinks I no longer care about her, since she mentioned that me doing NC was selfish. I am thinking about maybe sending her a text and just saying "I hope you and Pumpkin are doing well". Pumpkin was our dog, who is pictured in my avatar. Not only do I miss her, but I miss him to death. I always took care of him, fed him, and walked him every day, he's like my son. Would there be any harm in just texting and asking how the dog is??

 

I'm sorry but your girlfriend is the selfish one. She ends the relationship then accuses you of being selfish for not staying in contact. Excuse me but hasn't she just ENDED the relationship. Therefore ending any rights she thinks she may have over you!!

 

She needs to understand that you are hurting and seeing her just intensifies the pain. You need time to heal. You need to move on but how can you if shes always dragging you backwards. She either wants you in her life or she doesn't. If she doesn't know what she wants then she needs to back off until she sorts her head out.

 

As for Pumpkin, I guess it wouldn't do any harm to ask if you can take him for a walk. I know its breaking NC but then if you were married and had children you would have to have contact.

[Tanzi]

Day 2

 

Is it really only day 2?! I am soooooo tempted to check on the dating site that we were both on. I know I will get hurt at new faces he has added and the fact that he has been on there - I mustn't do it. I wont do it.

[pg13]

Instead of asking questions and posting threads like I have in the beginning. I'm starting to give back and give my honest feedback. I feel as if I'm not only helping others, but also helping myself by listening to what I tell other people. LOL, I need to follow my own advice more often. It's strange how you can help other people easier than helping yourself when it comes to emotional issues.

 

Anyway, I had a dream about my ex. Hmmm. Woke up early because of it. I blocked my ex's calls and texts with my iPhone so I won't get any rings or beeps, but it does show a notification if she has tried to call or text and I can check when she called or what she texted through a program. I check multiple times a day, and she hasn't. I feel bad about it. But not THAT bad.

 

What I've been doing is trying to go out with any girl that would want to go out with me. So far I have a couple of lunch dates this weekend with two girls (one is for a birthday, the other I asked for help with something). And I'm waiting a couple more days until I call this girl I met yesterday who is ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE! I'm not expecting anything to happen with any of these 3 girls, it would be nice; but I'm not trying to find a rebound. I just want to be in the company of other girls who are willing to spend some of their time with me.

[FigureItOut]

I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest