Getting back together really does happen!

[snapple]

amazing thread here... very inspirational for all those looking for a lift. runs the entire gamut of emotions, from a guy getting dumped to improving himself and moving on in the most positive of ways... and then the two somehow find each other again.

[syms]

What if the guy has moved on very fast led me on for two months and now if being a complete jerk started hanging out with this girl right away started dating after a month (she had a bf at the time and had to break up with him) said I love you after 2 weeks moved in after 3 weeks moved in after 4ish weeks and just took a trip with her and her son to meet her family after 8 weeks

 

Before he had no problem coming here to see the kids go o the mall with me bowling with us now he doesn't want to see me

 

Said for 2 months he didn't know if we would be together again said I still had a chance,said he would be jealousy I got with someone else, said he jut liked her for the sex so I sent her that text (i know wrong of me)but they stayed together so was he Lieing to me or her? And why woul he say that about her I he loved her so much

 

does this sound like a rebound do instill have a chance for him to come back since for 2 months he said he might and now all of a sudden he's mean to me

[markie6]

Better off starting your own thread Stefanies , rather than this thread which is to inspire hope and may not get so many views ...

[syms]

Ok I did, sorry didn't know how to at first

[GrowingUp85]

A friend of mine just got engaged to an ex. They dated for a few months, then split up because he moved out of town. She dated another guy for about two years, lived with him, etc. She broke up with him because she didn't feel physically attracted to him anymore and because she didn't want to get married yet. Broke his heart.

 

In the ensuing months, the ex reinstated contact, and they started dating 2 or 3 months after she dumped the other guy. 7 months later, they're engaged. It's interesting because she told me right after her breakup that she wasn't ready for marriage yet. I haven't talked to her or tried to find out her feelings, but its a getting back together story.

[benjii]

My best friend ex dumped him about a year ago they have a 2 year old daughter together and were engaged. She got a case of giggs dated another bloke a few months after. She broke with the bloke quite a few months ago relised my best mate is the one for her just recently and how good he is and what he done for her (what she told me) and how much trying to prove to him and she trying to win him back as we speak but my friend is uneasy atm but looks like there getting back together

[darkdragon03]

I hope someday I can post a success story with my ex Currently 5 weeks BU, 3 weeks NC and we lasted 4.5 years until she called it off.

[AskingQuestions]

Hello everyone

 

I posted here back in November ( ) about how I might have a success story.

 

I'd like to update this with the following: We're back together!

Long story short: Long distance relationship of just over 2 years. I was under a lot of pressure from various things, couldn't take it anymore, cracked and ended it. After some time to gather my thoughts, learn a lot about myself and sort myself out, it didn't take long to realise I still loved him. We continued to talk over the 4 and half months that we were broken up and when we finally got to meet up again a couple of weeks ago it was like everything was right again. We're super happy

 

Now, while it wasn't a nice thing to go through I do think the break did us both some good since we got to focus on other things. It is still early days yet but I think we are stronger after everything that happened. There's a few things going on over the next few months, but here's hoping that by the end of the year we will finally close the long distance and be living together. Plans are in the making

 

My biggest lesson: If you both feel it's right and there are no problems between you, don't let others convince you otherwise because they don't agree with the relationship. Take your time, stand your ground and let them see why you both are so happy together

[Boomshine]

My girlfriend and I were together for 4.5 years, and lived together for 3 of those. Our quality of life went down horribly over the course of it, both of us kinda lost sight of who were as individuals, and naturally, she broke up with me. That was 2.5 months ago. I went NC without telling her so, but still responded to her messages. I just didn't initiate conversations. Spent time rebuilding myself and getting my life back on track. I've been out on dates, I'm getting back into college, I'm pursuing hobbies again, and I got over her to the absolute best of my ability.

 

We started talking again exactly 1 month later. She called me about something, and during our short talk, I asked her out to coffee as friends. And we did just that. For about half an hour, we hung out, talked about what was NEW in our lives (and avoided the topic of our breakup ENTIRELY). By showing her a fun, new side of me which she hadn't seen in about 3-4 years, she was really comfortable around me, and we just focused on having fun.

 

We've been hanging out quite a bit since then, watching our TV show on a weekly basis together again, as well as hanging out at other spontaneous times, and have been focused on just building a new relationship since we've both changed a good amount about who we were since we were in a relationship together. We've both lost our neediness and are able to focus on our own lives properly, and are progressing into things slowly but surely. I don't mean to kiss and tell, but... We've been kissing quite a bit lately.

 

And just the other night, we talked about having sex again. She was thinking it was off the table since I told her previously I wasn't a big fan of the whole FWB thing, but I'm not worried about putting titles on anything anymore. I didn't want to be FWB back then because I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Now that I have my head on straight again, it's not a critical issue, and FWB will help progress into a relationship later (if not sooner).

 

What she and I have transcends a friendship. The two of us have a bond with each other that can never be taken away. We lived together for 3 years, and were each others' best friends when we moved out of our hometown and away from all of our friends. Meeting new people was incredibly hard, so we spent most of our time together and alone in our apartment, with nothing to do and no one to see. Though it wasn't the best quality of time together, it was still a bonding experience that we share.

 

For all intents, I've won her back. I say that anyway, because I got to the point I WANTED to get to. I didn't want to go straight back into a relationship. I want things to build and progress all over again, so this relationship can be established as brand new and not a continuation of the old one.

 

Things are different this time around. I've learned SO much about myself, women, relationships, seduction, attraction, sexuality, and all sorts of topics over the course of this breakup. I know how to maintain a proper relationship and not fall into the same trap I did before: I need to maintain my identity and individuality. I need to continue to focus on bettering my own life, regardless of what my relationship status is. My girlfriend should be a PLUS to an already-awesome life I'm living, not my primary source of happiness.

 

Just wish someone could have kicked me in the ass about 3 or so years ago and told me this. Could have saved me a LOT of headaches and agony. xD

 

The Moral: Winning them back is COMPLETELY possible - The key is winning YOURSELF back first.

[Xuan1982]

My Friend broke up with his girlfriend after 2 years together. He fall out of love. Nc for there years. He called her out of The blue and now they are together for 24 years with there kids.

[Srednap]

Bump, bump, bump!

[MonsterM]

I hope I can write here someday...now it's been 2 months we broke up and she got into rebound 1 month NC...Im thinking of calling her,but I really let her down and she doesnt trust me anymore...

[Ne Moe]

I actually thought of another and I can't believe I didn't think of it already....duh. My parents! They split for over a decade and have been back together now for almost 20 years.

[maron]

I actually thought of another and I can't believe I didn't think of it already....duh. My parents! They split for over a decade and have been back together now for almost 20 years.

 

wow! when you mean split, was it a married-divorced, married-separated for over a decade, or did the split happen while they were dating?

[Jimbly]

I have a few....

 

A friend wasn't ready to marry even after living together for a year or so, so broke up mutually with his GF. He moved a few hours drive away to start Med school. After a month of NC and dating others he reached out. They slowly got back together and have been married for 4 years now.

 

Work colleague broke up with her high school sweetheart after 8 years due to too much fighting. She started dating somebody else then realized she missed her ex. They've been married over 30 years.

 

My Dad and Stepmum....this one is a bit crazy. My Dad cheated on my Stepmum after 15 years of marriage. He was 64 and the woman was 25 (go Dad lol)!!! He and my Stepmum divorced. 3 years later they remarried and were together 3 more years until he passed away.

 

You never know what is going to happen in life, and while these stories give me hope for my own situation, it is always best to work on being the best YOU.

[Ne Moe]

wow! when you mean split, was it a married-divorced, married-separated for over a decade, or did the split happen while they were dating?

 

 

Married (for 6 years with kids) and then split. No divorce in Ireland at the time so they were legally separated for over 13 years, met up at a family event and ended up getting back together.

[shakobe33]

My brother got back together with his ex. They were high school sweethearts, dated for 2 years. He moved away for his freshman year of college and she stayed since she still had one year of high school left. They maintained a LDR for several months until my brother's girlfriend found someone else and broke up with him. It tore him apart. He tried wrapping himself up in everything else in life. He maintained LC throughout. Each day was a struggle. Finally after about 8 months, he said he realized he really was over her. He got a new girlfriend . They dated for 3 or 4 months and he felt very strongly about her. He even brought her home to meet my parents. Summer break came up and they both decided not to try a LDR. He moved home for the summer. He went out with friends and continued with this life being happy.

 

Eventually that summer he was out with some friends at a party and his high school sweetheart showed up...with the other guy. It made him want to throw up. He left immediately. He said he knew it was over and that his feelings for her were as gone as they were ever going to be, but that it still hurt and he couldn't help it. He maintained LC with his ex from college and was looking forward to potentially getting back together in the fall. About a month after the meeting at the party, his high school sweetheart calls him up to tell him that she had broken up with the other guy and was dating someone else. He wished her all the best and said "have a great rest of your life". A month after that, his high school sweetheart calls again saying how horribly her new guy was treating her. My brother listened but did not comment. Just wished her the best.

 

Right before my brother left for college he went by his ex's house to pick up his favorite jacket that he had given her. He kind of wanted to show off to his ex from college in hopes of getting back together. When he showed up, his high school sweetheart and her boyfriend were there. This guy had some not so nice things to say about my brother and even said some things about his ex. He punched the guy out cold and was glad to leave behind the drama. His high school sweetheart broke up with that guy later that day, called up my brother, and they talked for hours. They ended up getting back together. He withdrew from college so he didn't have to leave her and they started their lives together. They have been married since 2001, have 2 kids and seriously could not be any happier!

 

Since I'm going through my own break up that's a little similar, I have asked my brother for a lot of advice. It echoes a lot of what I have seen here. He honestly moved on. He told me he thought there was a chance he could marry his college girlfriend since it was going so well. His high school sweetheart was no longer an option, but she just somehow kept creeping back into his life. They both dated other people and realized what they had probably wasn't something they were going to get anywhere else. My situation doesn't seem to be in my favor, but I think that is for the best. I have to live and be alright with never seeing my ex again, and if she comes back, then it will be my decision! Hope I get to that day soon, but I guess I'll just have to wait it out.

[gettingstrong]

I just thought I'd post on this thread as I am trying to stay positive and focused. The good stories about exes reuniting are exactly what I need to hear right now.

 

What I can say, and this is from past experience, is that you must truly change yourself and learn from your mistakes. I had been with my ex for 3 years and we broke up and got back together 3 times. Every time I would promise to change the negative qualities and the bad habits that made the relationship end in the first place. This would be all good for a week or even a few months, but I would always get lazy again, take her for granted and end up making her feel like she wanted to end it again.

 

If you truly want to stand even the slightest chance of getting back with your ex, please concentrate on yourself and the reasons you broke up in the first place. Your old relationship is dead, it's over, you don't want to go back to that and neither does she/he. You must see the chance of a reconciliation as a fresh start, a clean slate, you are not trying to get that old relationship back, you are trying to create a new, stronger, better relationship with that person.

 

As I said above, we split up 3 times, mainly through mutual agreement, but I would always begin to think that I really loved this girl and I would do anything to get her back. I told her as much and it was enough to reunite. But what I was saying was probably what she wanted to hear and not what I was actually going to follow through with.

 

If you get a second chance, or even a third or fourth, make sure you mean what you say and that you have made the changes you need to make sure that the relationship doesn't fall back into complacency. Once you do that and make the same mistakes again and lose her/him, you are making it incredibly difficult to ever reconcile again.

 

That's where I am now, we split after 3 years, after three previous breakups, I tried to get back this time telling her everything I had told her before. Guess what? She didn't believe a word I was saying and now won't speak to me at all.

 

I am now using no contact and making improvements to my life that I should have followed through when I promised her before. I am getting counselling, learning to be more confident, loving myself, being more proactive, have managed to get a new job and have started weight training again. Actions speak louder than words!

 

My advice to anyone who gets that second chance is to make sure you have changed in some way, make sure that you don't take her/him for granted, don't get comfortable and NEVER forget what this feeling is like of being without them, if you ever get back into the old habits and arguments, just take a step back and remember the crushing hurt you felt when they were not there for you.

 

I am hoping to prove my ex wrong and that I am finally making the changes I always promised I would. Maybe it's too little, too late, but these are significant changes that I know will show her I am not playing games anymore.

 

I will post back here with my success story!

[tiger1644]

I know two couples, both started dating young at the ages 15/16. I'm not aware of the details - the breakups occurred so long ago - but I'll summarize.

 

One of the couples had a baby at 17 and split up for a few months a year or two later - they weren't apart for too long but, during that time, it was bad. The girl even sued the guy over something trivial and they went to court. She slapped him and the guy tried to press assault charges on her. It was crazy. Now, though, they've been back together for about eight years and have another child.

 

The other couple split up for six months during their early twenties. I don't know the details - but they're together now and very happy. They're getting married in 2014 and, in all, have been together for eleven years.

 

Also, Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera had a notoriously rocky relationship. They separated for periods of time but eventually made up. However, they eventually divorced after a few affairs - Diego cheated on Frida with her younger sister. They remarried over a year later and stayed together until Frida's death. There was a quote by Diego, I can't remember quite how it goes, but he said that Frida's death was the most tragic experience in his life and he never knew how much she meant to him until she was gone. Both of them, during their lives together, always had a very strong love/hate relationship. Their quotes about each other range from pure hatred to undying love.

[disme724]

i saw her last night to get some of my stuff after 3 weeks BU and 12 days NC..

she didn't say anything either did i but after i text her asking if she still had feelings for me, and i also told her she looked beautiful like always (she really is beautiful)

and i also asked her to tell me that she didn't have feelings anymore so i can move on.

i really want her back we been true a lot together i wouldn't want no other girls i want to start fresh with her and make her happy.

she don't answer non of my text or call i know if i keep doing it its only going to push her away but if i don't show her how much im dedicated to her she will walk away anyways...

i really love the girl i just cant stand it any more every time all im thinking is "what if"..so i wish she would just get anoid or mad or something and straight up tell me to F*** OFF or something anything that says that we are done for good.

i just wanna move on..im trying to get busy but everything reminds me of her and i get sad, i go out with friends and she pops up in my head and im not in the mood anymore.

i just want her to tell me that its over for good that's all i need.

[GrowingUp85]

I know where you are. I was there just a few months ago. And trust me, that's not what you need. That won't help you. Stop contacting her, get your act together, and maybe she'll come back.

[james31]

Exact same for me... she cannot say that it id 100% over snd there is no chance for ud to get back together, has never said she didnt love mr anymore and everyone says she is just confused.

I hate thinking about her 24/7 and i wish she would just give me a straight answer and drive the knife in the whole way as opposed to saying she cant see in the future and wanting to be friends.

[james31]

Exact same for me... she cannot say that it id 100% over snd there is no chance for ud to get back together, has never said she didnt love mr anymore and everyone says she is just confused.

I hate thinking about her 24/7 and i wish she would just give me a straight answer and drive the knife in the whole way as opposed to saying she cant see in the future and wanting to be friends.

[Boomshine]

I know where you are. I was there just a few months ago. And trust me, that's not what you need. That won't help you. Stop contacting her, get your act together, and maybe she'll come back.

 

What he said. Don't wait for HER to say it's over, say it's over YOURSELF. That is what's going to help you most of all through this. You don't need anyone's (dis)approval, just your own!

[disme724]

Exact same for me... she cannot say that it id 100% over snd there is no chance for ud to get back together, has never said she didnt love mr anymore and everyone says she is just confused.

I hate thinking about her 24/7 and i wish she would just give me a straight answer and drive the knife in the whole way as opposed to saying she cant see in the future and wanting to be friends.

 

 

i know! i don't know why she don't say that she don't love me anymore or she don't want me..some times i think its because if things don't go as planned with someone else then she comes back and say that she still in love and she was confused..its just harder for me to move not knowing the truth i wish they would just come out and say how it is and not lead us on to thinking other wise. i text her and told her t tell me she don't want me so i can sell the engagement ring and never look back with hope that she will be back.