Getting back together really does happen!

[mrnicguy6]

my boss and some of my coworkers share their stories to me after noticing i seem to be down lately in the office lol

 

* my boss and his girlfriend broke up the first time for similar reasons as in my situation. becoming self centered and neglecting our girlfriend. he said he did the begging and pushing, even after the breakup he kept texting and pleading until the girl got mad and told him to leave her alone. so he did. after 8 months, he greeted the ex happy birthday, he wasnt sure if she still had the same number but went ahead anyway. she replied. since then they began texting again. and opening up to each other. they became friends again, spent time together, and finally got back together... i cant remember why but they would eventually break up again two more times. 4 months nc and another one almost 1 year nc. and that was the last time they broke up. theyve been together 10 years now and expecting their first born this october.

 

* my coworker on the other hand was dumped by his gf because of his bad temper. they would get back together not for long. until the girl cheated on him. so they broke up. my coworker though kept pursuing her. he said his girlfriend told him that she already fell in love with the other guy. eventually he would get her back but would later get break up again. this time, he cheated on her. the girl did the begging this time but it didnt do any good. my coworker after a few months with the new girl would later realize it was just some kind of infatuation and wasnt really love. he got back with his ex. they just celebrated their first born's first birthday and their rs is going stronger than ever.

 

* my other coworker was left by his girlfriend for another man. he wsnt the sweetest guy so the girl looked elsewhere. actually, he wouldnt let her break up with him. lol. what he did was, he started doing creative things, suprises, and being sweet. he got her feelings back and they never had to breakup. they are now moving to singapore to start their life together.

 

*my other coworker was also dumped by his girlfriend. the reason was also similar to mine. the girl felt neglected and got burntout. he did the begging as well... he did nc for like a couple of weeks and then began texting her again and befriending her and courting her. he was about to give it up 2 months later until his girlfriend's feeling became mutual again. they have been together ever since.

 

they gave me great advice saying if it is meant to be, it will be. give each other time and space. reflect on yourself - identify what changed and bring your old self back but at the same time, be better. get rid of the negative traits that caused hurt to your so and the breakup. you dont need to give up your love, you just need to stop expecting for it in return.

[stillbelieving]

1. My sister & her husband : Not sure how long they were together for def over a year. My parents were dead against them being together (long story). Dad even threatened to kill my bro-in-law (lol it was serious tho). So he left my sister & told her he loves her but he just can't. They had Nc for over a year. Until he called & asked her to supper. The next thing my parents saw how much they loved eachother & accepted. They're married for 7 years now with 2 kids

 

2. My friend's bro & his fiance were broken up for a year & half & got back together & got engaged

 

3. My friend broke up with her bf cos she said he wasn't treating her right, took advantage etc... He begged & apolgized & she said this just annoyed her so much. Until one day he stopped & she started to miss him & now they're together again

 

There are lots of others that I know of but I have no idea what the stories are behind them so can't really post. I believe whatever's meant to be will be. Please can u guys help me...not sure how enotalone works but posted my thread on the "breaking up" forum its titled "Really feel like ex & I are meant to be, he doesn't" please help someone thankyouu.

[Boomshine]

IMO, there is not a lot of stories, where the girls is the dumper and goes back to the dumpee?!

 

Oh, they exist. My girlfriend broke up with me after almost 4 years in April 2012. We kinda stayed together still for the next 8 months until our apartment lease was up, then went our separate ways. NC for 1 month, started talking again, hanging out, and within 6 weeks, we were back in bed together. Things were a little rocky from the start, but we've been together again for 4.5 months now. Albeit, she's not my "girlfriend" officially, but that's only because of an internal hangup she's having with herself that doesn't really have much to do with us. And anyone we know would (myself included) would argue that we have all the foundations there that we essentially ARE bf/gf.

 

That aside, she and I both still have the relationship we want from each other, so it doesn't matter so much if she's my girlfriend or not. The fact of the matter is that we have a relationship with each other which is satisfying, fulfilling, and loving, and in the end run, that's what counts.

 

Some may call my story a getting back together story, some may say it's not. But I think when you stop putting such an emphasis on titles, and focus on the key aspects of a relationship, then not only did we get back together, but we're stronger than ever, both individually and as a couple.

[summerlovin]

I have a cute one!

When my grandparents were young, my grandpa asked my grandma out on a date. When he dropped her off at her house, my grandma asked if he'd like to come in to meet her parents, but he was rushing, appeared nervous and said he had "somewhere to be". My grandma immediately realized that he had another date right after the one with her! She told him to get lost and never come back. So he went on the date with the other girl and my grandma didn't hear from him since. About a month later he came over and told her he dumped the other girl and wanted to be with my grandma. She reluctantly gave him another chance, and they just celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary. They remind me of Carl and Ellie from Up, they are they cutest and happiest old couple you will ever see! They're still attached by the hip after 58 years together.

[kaitlin87]

My story in short:

- We met in 2011, dated for a few months

- I moved abroad for half a year, we weren't a couple

- I came back, he didn't want to be with me

- We had occasional sex and I wanted him back

- Then I decided to let it go after almost 5 months

- We were still in low contact and two weeks later he wanted me back

- We were together for one year

- He broke up with me and said that we will never be together again (not a nice break up, but not the ugliest one)

- I wish I could write here that he came back, but no, LC for nearly 3 months, NC for one month...

 

Now, I'm feeling happy, though still thinking about him a lot. I hope that I can write my own "success story" later on here I'm becoming a better person, grateful for everything I have, living my own life

[mbee]

I just signed a lease today and the person leasing the place to me asked me about my ex-boyfriend. She then shared a story with me about what has been happening with her this past year. This isn't a successful reconciliation story but shows that they do come back.

 

Well she was with a guy for 2 years but he was never over his ex. It became a problem and they broke up. He went back to his ex (first reconciliation). After about 4 months she moved on and started dating someone else. Her ex eventually came back and tried to beg for her back. Fortunately, she didn't take him back.

 

Again not successful but shows two scenarios where the person went back to their ex.

[keenyC]

Bump!!!!!!!

[mrnicguy6]

i just remembered one about a friend of mine. though they were never officially together.

 

so he meets our friend's cousin and started courting her. they both liked each other, but didnt go beyond that. though they sort of acted like they were. my friend was too possessive and controlling, so the girl didnt want to have any of it and told him that they should stop seeing each other. theyve only knwn ewch other for i think maybe 4-6 months... the girl is quite religious and reserved, didnt go out or party a lot, but she started to after this happened. my friend tortured himself looking at her pictures whenevrr she went out, sometimes with a guy. this went on for 3 months. until he finally decided to let her go. he blocked her everywhere. the girl finds out and got upset why he did it (she broke nc). ever since, she's been trying to get him back and is now open to being officially boyfriend/girlfriend. my friend met a couple of girls though so he is really treading lightly and taking thngs slow.

[elsenyor]

my cousin 8 years ago went to london, met some dude at work, he disliked her when they met, by the end of the shift he liked her and gave her his number. she forgot about his # for 3 weeks because she went on vacation, when she came back she thought "why not give it a shot" she called him they started hanging out but he had decided he'd only be living in london 4 more months because he had been living there 8 years already.

 

After the 4 months he left to Italy and she realized she had fallen for him. They kept talking for about a year then stopped talking for 6 years and during that time he had married and divorced. Eventually out of the blue he uploaded a picture of him and my cousin on fb, and my cousin extremely confused just commented saying "what a beautiful picture." which is how they started talking again. Now they've been seeing each other several months at a time during the course of these final 2 years, and it turned into a long distance relationship, now my cousin is moving to be with him in September.

[professorplum]

Is this yet another example of having to let go before you stand any chance of getting them back ?

[Markus87]

This thread has given me hope. It shows no matter what the situation, it is possible.

 

My fiancée left me nearly 3months ago. We were together for 6 1/2 years and getting married next month. Been in NC for nearly a month and a half.

 

Anyway back on topic! My first gf came back after a few days. We were together 2 months, split for a few days and got back together for another 3 months. It was never anything serious so we just went our separate ways in the end.

 

My second gf came back after two weeks. We were together 1yr. That reconcilliation latest only a day though haha! So not sure if that counts! It wasn't a messy break up but she later started causing trouble so it kinda became messy. No idea what happened to her since.

[Jayse]

Totally awesome Really taking on board the advice from your experiences here, thanks!

[Stillhope]

A good friend of mine had a boyfriend she was with for almost a year (a couple of years ago), he dumped her because he thought she was too boring (she's actually damn awesome so he was probably unhappy with his life at the time). Eight months later he came back and said he made a huge mistake, so she gave him another chance. Several months later he dumped her again (same reason), and this time yesterday he came back again (6 months later this time) saying he made the biggest mistake of his life and he proposed to her. She blew him off this time and she is fairly mad that he could not figure this stuff out a long time ago but yeah, the psychological process of the dumper is very interesting to say the least.

[bobowe]

Hi ENA'ers

 

Here is my "story" still fairly fresh open wound.

 

I have been with the love of my love for 11 years, engaged for 3 years, and planning on getting married in April 2014. Then on my birthday, she decides to tell me that things between us was over. To say I was devastated is the understatement of the century! Her feelings was along the lines of that she was not in love with me anymore, but still loves me. She want's us to remain friends. I have begged, pleaded and then some! We have gone through a rough patch in the last year, my job was extremely stressful and we ended up living past each other and got complacent with each other. The love became a slight bit distant. She still lived with me for a month after split, trying to find a new place to live etc. This made it extremely hard on me, and this is why the "begging" lasted so long, probably lost everything in the process of this begging... ??? We have gone no contact and will see if she calls me at some point to meet up, or just to talk. We actually are still good friends, we have not screamed at each other or got angry through all of this. I just became sad and depro a bit... Trying to keep my chin up and all that...

 

When were on holiday in Spain, over my birthday when she dumped me. I had that revelation that I am going to change everything around between us when we get home. I had the light bulb that moment and realised she means the world to me, and I would rather quit my job and find something else than loose her. I was so excited, first time in the last year that I had a clear mind... But she "jumped the gun" on me...

 

All of our friends and both our families love us both and all of them is hoping we can get out sorted out and make up... So that is good, no one is telling us it is the best thing that ever happened, breaking up... So non of that, plenty of fish in the sea nonsense.

 

So, my question is, has anyone found, or know of a story they can share, where the girl fell out of love, moved out and said she does not see a future together, but want's to remain friends, but then eventually came back and tried to reconcile? I would take her back in heart beat, she one amazing lady, and deffo a soulmate for me! I do believe people fall in and out of love all the time, but once they broken up, is there any hope you think of ever getting back together?

[nmarie3]

I absolutely love this thread! Great idea!

 

Has anyone had a guy break up with them saying they needed a break and to leave them alone and then reconciled?

[huntrex]

Quite nice to read these stories

 

I'm on day 2 of NC, it's a lot harder than I initially thought!

[Lynn]

I have a similar story as you bobowe

 

My exbf basically did the same to me....

 

Back ground story we met when we were both 19 both from uk then I moved to dubai at 21 we did long distance for 1.5years saw him about twice a month and then he moved to be with me never had issues had so much life experience together and memories have three dogs together (one of which he bought me 3 months before we split...) we still live in dubai

 

We had been having a rough patch the last year arguing every week and not getting to the bottom of why. I can now see I was very unhappy in my job and had lost some of my confidence and for the first time in our relationship I became clingy. He also had a new group of mates who I think influence him a lot and some of my friends have also suggested this. Then one day we had a huge argument and I walked out not for good just to give us some space then he dropped the bomb... He told me he loves me and always will but is no longer in love with me. I knew we were having problems but never in my wildest dreams did I think he would ever leave me. He has a big holiday to Vegas planned with his boys next week and I know this was causing some tension from me as I don't trust his new mates or like them very much and it's costing him so much money that I'm my head could of bought a ring. That's where I thought this was going.... But I didn't say anything as I have never stopped him from living. I had in my head after his holiday we had one to NYC planned for dec and I was going to make that our fresh start and get back on track.

 

We are both extremely loyal people and wanted the same things out of life.

 

My family and friends are also devastated by it and hope we work it out they dont think either of us is better without the other. My mother has taken it particularly bad and feels like she has lost a son.

 

He is very keen to remain good friends but how can I he is the love of my life my I haven't looked or wanted anyone else in 10years as I didn't need too we were soul mates. I am still madly in love with him. I did NC and now in LC because of the dogs and we lived together I took over our rented apartment and now he's sleeping in mates spare rooms and once back from Vegas planning on moving into an apartment with his four mates.

 

I don't want to be his friend He has said to some mutual friends he finds it so hard not knowing how I am or what I am up to.

 

Any stories or experience for us and bobowe would be appreciated

 

Also to share getting back together stories I have two...

 

1. His parents got married and had my ex bf. a year later they split up and got divorce. they then got back together had another baby and got married to each other again and have been together ever since

 

2. My friend dated a guy for 2.5 years they then split up because he needed to grow up she did NC for months then bumped into him he was kissing another girl she left the bar and didn't cause a fuss but inside was devastated he then MSG her but she ignored then he sent her a merry Xmas MSG which she also ignored then about 3 months later bumped into him again in a bar and ignored him he then stepped up the contact by calling her she slowly started to reply then they met up and she could see he had changed the who process took over a year. I am happy to say they are not only back together but are two months married

[Kimcwell]

I wish I were posting this about me, but alas I am not. My cousin's bf of 3 years (LDR) broke up with her Nov 2012, saying he was tired of always disappointing her, etc, etc.... Basically the downside of being in a LDR. She is 35, never been married, and thought he was the one. She went pretty much no contact, telling him not to even bother unless he had a change of heart. I think they checked in with each other a few times, but nothing in person. Well, end of July he calls and asks to see her. Drives to her place and says all of the things we wish our exes would say; he made a terrible mistake, is willing to take the next step in their relationship and give her what she needs. I'm quite sure they will be engaged at Christmas. Sigh...

[pettypink]

Not quite a GBT story, but shows an ex won't forget you. A friend of mine was with her bf for possibley1-2 years and then abruptly broke up with him due to differences. She really didn't think about it much after the break up (she was the dumper) and quickly moved onto her next bf. She was with this new guy for about 3 years and totally in love with him. They broke up early this year, and she was devastated, but tried hard to move on. Just recently, she contacted her ex-ex, and they started chatting over text. She told me that during her new relationship, her ex-ex was a mess - drinking very often, hooking up with randoms, calling her frequently, etc. So much, that she had him blocked for about a year. He was hurt so badly by the break up but eventually moved on. Now, they have been chatting for a few months here and there ex and today she made the decision to meet up with him. Who knows how this will end, but it does show an ex contacting the dumpee again years later.

[r0tc0da]

all these positive recon. stories are awesome to hear. It absolutely CAN happen ESPECIALLY if you've treated your ex well while the relationship was going on. IMO it is very hard to forget or ignore what people have done for you. Sometimes as the relationship continues or even during the heat of the breakup the "dumper" tends to lose sight of all those good things only to remember after the breakup what they are missing out on and how well they were treated. I find that you tend to miss things only when they are taken away from you. As the "dumpee" all you can do is be patient, positive continue living and not existing knowing full well that you did all you could to the best of your capabilities! And if its meant to be, SURELY the "dumper" will realize this at some point and an effort towards reconciliation can begin. if you've treated someone well, they are always drawn back to you, it just takes time and your patience for them to realize it.

[QWit]

It is not always the dumper that is the bad person in the break up.. Sometimes, they become the dumper because they were left with no choice. The dumpee could have been taking advantage of them or whatever..

[r0tc0da]

It is not always the dumper that is the bad person in the break up.. Sometimes, they become the dumper because they were left with no choice. The dumpee could have been taking advantage of them or whatever..[/quote

 

I couldn't agree more...I'm just empathizing with the dumpee in this case and assuming that it was something other than bad behavior that caused a breakup.

[LovesMusic]

A very close friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend nearly. She dated other people over a period of 4 years. She got back with him after those 4 years and told me that she always thought of him and she would always compare the other guys to the ex she got back with and none of them really compared. Yet she still dated other people over the course of 4 years. They are broken up now, her dumping him again, because of bad habits the guy just won't quit. I can tell she still loves him and she was being forced to dump him because of his behavior. Naturally the guy still wants her back. She claims she is over him for good this time, but in a moment of vulnerability she admitted to me that she isn't sure that they wouldn't ever get back together. They are still in regular/semi regular contact.

[surfjon]

Yeah....It happens sometimes, but is it a blessing or a curse.....

 

Was with my current GF for 5 years, and she dumped me a second time in January 2013.....

She'd done this before in April 2012 and after a month apart, she asked me to take her back, which I did.....Probably shouldn't have.

 

So when she dumped me in January, I went NC and kept living......yeah, I was very hurt and missed her dearly, but she rejected me so what was I to do.....said she was "unsure", and "didn't know what she wanted".....so I distanced myself and gave her the space she asked for.

 

After she asked for the break, I was forced to take a hard look at the relationship for what it really was, and in doing so realized how I'd allowed myself and my boundaries to be treated with disrespect and disregard. As more time passed, and I became stronger every day on my own, and realized more and more how I was unhappy for nearly 2 years of the relationship.

 

After a couple months of just sort of waiting around for her to sort things out, I decided I was done and I started dating again....

 

I didn't make any formal declaration like "I'll be dating now dear!", I just decided to move on, so I did...

 

In the months she was gone, I rode my bike alot...spent time on the boat where I felt free from her and was happy on the ocean, played my guitar alot, met new people.....and befor I knew it I'd dropped 23 lbs, was back in 31" jeans and was tanned and happy again!! VICTORY!!!! And I did it all for me......Yeah, I'd read that sometimes the dumpers see all these positive changes and come back, but I'd realized I had some dependance issues and needed to sort that out, I'd become too reliant on her....made her too big a part of my life for my own good....so the changes I effected were for myself and my future partners in life.

 

I'd see her around here and there, always said hello with a big smile......friends started telling me how good she thought I was doing and how well I looked, I never said a negative thing about her, just kept upbeat and focused on moving on......

 

I had reached out to her a few times in a very gentle way, just letting her know I was still out there and though I couldn't be simply her friend, that I was open to dialog about us......she never indicated wanting to get back together, so I never pushed it....I just let her go.....

 

So in June, I hadn't had any sort of contact with her in nearly 3 months, and was feeling pretty damn good.....In the 6 months since the breakup I'd reinvented myself and had a new life going and it had occurred to me that this life was independent of her!! I had truly moved on!!

 

Then the email from her on June 12th...."Hi, just wanted to see how you are"

Me on June 15 ......"Hi, fine, thx..."

Her on June 16......" Was wondering if I could see you sometime"

Me on June 18th...." I explained to you I will not be your friend, I will have a dialog about us, but no friendship"

 

She emailed me that she understood and that she wanted to talk about us, so I agreed......we went out on my boat with all our dogs, it was very nice and she had a different look in her eyes than the months before....she seemed happy to be with me....

She asked me if we could go to dinner, and I agreed....at dinner I didn't approach the relationship at all, just caught up with her and what was up in her life, and eventually we discussed us....what happened....what went wrong. She said she saw all the positive changes in me and that she regretted the break-up, that she wanted to try again.....we cried and hugged...kissed like we used to...

 

I was now the one unsure of what I wanted and she the one wanting back in, the twist of dynamics was a tasty treat I will say.....

After all, I went thru 3 months of hell when she dumped me, I loved her dearly but she dumped me.....so yes, I did feel a bit smug when she came back asking me to try again......

 

So here I am in late August, yes....we're still together.....we really only see each other once a week and then on weekends, I'm not as crazy about her as I used to be a few years ago, but I feel like that can be rebuilt....I have a very warranted uneasyness about her because she's dumped me twice and I will probably always have that in the back of my mind, I have not fully let her back in my heart because she must earn that back now. I don't make myself as available to her anymore like I used to do....I'd drop everything for her to do anything and that too has changed......

 

Yes folks, getting back together does happen but at what cost.....

Everyday I wonder if I made the right choice taking her back....

 

Perhaps in taking back this ambivalent girl, I have missed the chance to meet a new girl who will truly love me and be sure about it!

Perhaps it goes well for another year then she dumps me again!

Perhaps she does the hard work like I'm willing to and we spend the rest of our lives together.....

 

I guess love is defined by ones willingness to risk it all, take the chances, spin the wheel.......

[skybluemarky]

You love her for sure, keep talking honestly and openly.. keep it fresh!! xxx