Getting back together really does happen!

[mhowe]

Surf jon....to love is to be vulnerable. And a wise man takes the lessons he has been shown and learns from then. Just as you were able to see the relationship for what it had become and realized that you had been unhappy for two years...the reset of the dynamics between you will take.adjustment. I too was more invested before...and am conscious of guarding my heart. But as each day passes...another brick comes off the wall I built...because while the walls keep things out....they also keep things in.

[bobowe]

OK, very early days, but I was told yesterday, by the ex I love so dearly, that we have gone from broken up, too being on a break... Her is to hope that we can make this happen for us again. I will keep you posted good or bad... Oh and if you all could direct positive energy "our" way to let this happen, that will be super!!!

[Lynn]

hi bobowe did you do NC or were you still friends with her and how long were you broken up for?

[bobowe]

Hi Lynn, I am technically still broken up with her, she dumped me on 25 June 2013... Moved out 30 July, and we have had contact up until 06 Aug... Then called off all contact until I bumped into her at a pub 24 Aug... we had a nice chat, and since had some contact, and spend the weekend talking through all matter of things... On Sunday evening after a day of laughing and chatting about not so serious issues, I dropped her off at the train station, and she said "I am going off on holiday 7-14 Sept, and we said we have gone from being broken up, to being on a break... We are now in no contact, until after she comes back from her holiday, and she will said she will make contact once she figured it all out on holiday and will see if her feelings for me has returned... SO, we had short bursts of no contact at all... I guess you can call it, limited contact. NO CONTACT is extremely TOUGH! Like I say, I am not "out of the woods" yet, but it is a small step towards HOPEFULLY reconciling! I will be the happiest guy in the world if she comes back!!!!

[Lynn]

I would take this time you have while she is away on holiday to try and get back to the old you the one she fell in love with. it might not be possible in the short time but at least if you show you are trying. Don't put any pressure on her and if you do agree to try again take it slow. go on dates dont let her move back in straight away and you must truly forgive her for everything and you can never bring past issues into the new relationship. I hope you both work it out. my bf of ten years gave me the same line loves me but not In love anymore. there is no worse thing to be told. but the history you both share is going to help you two. talk of good times you had. my bf wants to meet up after his holiday but its just to discuss being friends which I can't be so I an going to him I dont want him to contact me unless its about getting back together. which is going to kill me as I love him always have an always will. please let us know how you get on bobowe good luck.

[bobowe]

Hi Lynn, I truly hope so, I have already made a big step towards being my old self. Like you, I cannot be friends with her alone, unfortunately, my feelings is to strong to "just be friends." As the "we are now on a break, rather than a break up" line came from her, without me asking for it, I am going to take that as a positive, and just giving her the space now, until she hopefully, contacts me back after her trip. We have had a serious discussion on Saturday, and yes there was tears, but it was necessary as we actually have not had that talk at all... SO, on Sunday, we decided to meet up for old time sake, and we had a nice afternoon talking and laughing, only a small amount of serious conversation, but most of the day spent having fun, had some lunch, went for a long walk along the river, decided to go to movies, and then had dinner... All and all it was a nice day! So, I am feeling a bit more positive, but like I said, feelings have not returned, so there is still a BIG chance, this might never happen... HOPING it will happen!

[maron]

almost a year ago, one of my aunts filed for divorce w/ her now ex-husband. i'll call her aunt 1. they really were quite the model family on the surface: middle class, nice cars, living in the 'burbs in a nice home, private school education for my cousins, the works. i later found out things were rocky for a while and not everything was as it seemed w/ her and him. family were very shocked. the divorce was finalized a few months ago. this story isn't about how she and her ex reconciled. at least, not with this ex.

 

see, her sister (aunt 2) traveled out of state for a vacation, where she happened to meet up with "bill," aunt 1's past high school classmate and, as i just found out not too long ago, also her ex-boyfriend. aunt 2 came back, shared w/ aunt 1 that she saw bill, and aunt 1 and bill reconnected via facebook. a few weeks ago, i found out that bill had already moved in w/ aunt 1 and her daughters. aunt 1 and bill got together, broke up and lost contact and moved on, each had married (bill has 2 young children w/ his first wife), separated from their spouses, and found each other again. time spent apart: over 20 years.

 

i may have shared this story before but this version has more details. i wasn't clear on whether bill was a past suitor in high school, an old crush but nothing came of it, or an ex, but i got confirmation that he's an ex.

[pettypink]

And yet another one

A guy I was recently talking to had been with his ex for 2-3 years. They broke up two times I believe - once for 6 months in 2012 and their most recent one was in April this year. We were chatting and talking about meeting up until he started being flaky. I noticed he started following his ex again on Instagram and added her back on Facebook a few days ago. It seems like they started talking in early August again and they are now officially back together as of today!

[pettypink]

Today must be a lucky day - I have another one. A friend of mine and her ex broke up in March this year. If I recall, it was mutual, but mostly because he wouldn't commit as much as her (so she broke it off). They were in LC and NC and on and off with their contact. He did some stuff that hurt her during the break-up, but so did she. They met up yesterday and he asked for her to try again on their relationship. She said she would think about it and is still deciding. She still loves him immensely

[mbee]

Hmm a friend from my hometown got separated from his wife about a year ago. They were married really young. He's the same age as me, 25, so I think they got married at 20 but again, they have been separated for almost a year. I don't know the details but he was VISIBLY heartbroken on Facebook and it was clear his wife had moved on and was already in another relationship, and then a few months later got in a relationship with a really cute girl that lasted for about half a year or more. I just browsed his FB and it looks like they broke up and he has pictures of him being all lovey dovey with his separated wife and referring to her as his lover. People are commenting saying they are the cutest married couple. I think it's safe to say they are trying to reconcile.

[Dyavolboy27]

Reading these have helped me quite a bit. I'm trying to follow the advice I see in this forum and am okay with the motions of accepting the break up and moving on and working on myself. I feel though as if in my head it's all a way to get her back. Today I realized though that I dont necessarily want her back as my girlfriend I just want her in my life...

 

Our breakup which happened about two months ago wasn't a bad one. Together for three years and I'm just turning 22 and she just turned 21, she said she wanted to be alone but she would always have love for me. Well about two weeks after her and I break up which I made the terrible terrible choices of begging her and being desperate she started dating this new guy and for the first three weeks of their relationship she continued to see me behind his back, well about two weeks ago she called me and was like I need to tell you something turns out she has decided to marry him after knowing him for a couple of months and since then we have LC a text here and there but I'm trying hard to not talk to her at all.

 

After all of this I still have hope, I feel bad because no one supports her choices and I'm not mad at her or anything but I wish people would support her..I do. I just want her to be happy..preferably with me but if not that's okay...I still hope her and I can fix things but I know I need to work on loving myself and doing things for myself (that was the biggest problem she had in our relationship is that I didn't accomplish what I said I would mostly in regards to myself) her and I before I stopped talking to her had discussed us getting back together and such but now she is..caught up in this guy...

 

So here is hoping..

[RoyOnTheMake]

Keep these stories coming. They are keeping me sane. For real.

[RoyOnTheMake]

SurfJon - I think your story is pretty great. I think both parties win in this occasion, and maybe like mhowe says, that wall will soon be invested in keeping things in, rather than out.

[samantha1607309203]

Hi, I am new to the forum as a member, but this threat is something that manages to distract me in my lowest days, so its fair if I share a story:

 

* friends of a friend dated around 4 years when both were in their mid 20ties - they broke up for a year and after that they got back together. 2 years later my friend is a best man at their wedding and they are happy

*2 friend of mine started dating in colleague and broke up after 3 years because they wanted to be single (at least one of them) both dated other people and in a few months they got back togheter currently leaving together for 4 years now

 

And a little bit different story with happy ending for one of the parties - both were very very young - 14 years old, they started dating and after 14 years (a lot of them actually living together, the guy saw the attention of another woman and broke everything over a night. Quite shocking. The girl made the usual crying, begging, waiting, making a fool of herself until one day she met a very nice guy and they started dating - suddenly her ex felt like he is losing her forever and star making contact (while before that when she contacted him, he usually yelled at her and threat her very badly). Well guess what - 2 years after the break up one of them was forced to realize that the grass was actually greener on the other side and this is the girl. She is currently living with her new guy and the ex is one who is crying almost every week for her begging her to come back.

[r0tc0da]

I am going through a similar situation as everyone here. These stories are definitely uplifting. I think the what seems to be the common denominator in all these recon. stories is patience and forgiveness. All we can do is continue to be positive and smile even though our hearts are aching. I've said this before and I'll continue saying this, if you treat ppl well whether it be in a relationship, or just in general, it is very hard to completely forget someone. Maybe its timing, or a lack of feeling (for a period of time) that causes one person to walk out on the relationship, but I am confident that if you've put in your best effort as far as showing them love and appreciation, they will find their way back to you in some capacity. I think some people in life can only ever come to the realization of how good they had it, once they dont have it anymore. Its sad, but true. I think that reconciliations are much more common then people realize.

[TheHopeful]

Ok, what about this tactic: knowing successful reconciliations usual occur once they have both moved on and have had time apart under their belt, is it possible to move on while having some hope that they will one day reconcile? And even if they don't end up doing so they will have moved on anyway?

 

Maybe this was mentioned before, and if so sorry for the repeat

[Boomshine]

Ok, what about this tactic: knowing successful reconciliations usual occur once they have both moved on and have had time apart under their belt, is it possible to move on while having some hope that they will one day reconcile? And even if they don't end up doing so they will have moved on anyway?

 

Maybe this was mentioned before, and if so sorry for the repeat

 

Sure, there's nothing wrong with being hopeful. Moving on isn't losing feelings for the other person. It's getting your own individual life back on track and distancing yourself from the idea of identifying as a part of a couple. You can still LIKE them or whatever, but you have to realize that for now, you are just you and nothing more. Read the post I linked to in my signature, see if that helps you understand any further, and let me know what you think!

[JTP1994]

Sure, there's nothing wrong with being hopeful. Moving on isn't losing feelings for the other person. It's getting your own individual life back on track and distancing yourself from the idea of identifying as a part of a couple. You can still LIKE them or whatever, but you have to realize that for now, you are just you and nothing more. Read the post I linked to in my signature, see if that helps you understand any further, and let me know what you think!

 

I'm gonna' read that whilst on the way to work in about an hour, Boomshine (nice name btw, catchy).

 

It sounds like it may suit me, but if not I like reading things like that anyway.

[TheHopeful]

Sure, there's nothing wrong with being hopeful. Moving on isn't losing feelings for the other person. It's getting your own individual life back on track and distancing yourself from the idea of identifying as a part of a couple. You can still LIKE them or whatever, but you have to realize that for now, you are just you and nothing more. Read the post I linked to in my signature, see if that helps you understand any further, and let me know what you think!

 

I just read the post, it was very helpful! Thank you! Hopefully I will be able to post my own story here

[Boomshine]

I'm gonna' read that whilst on the way to work in about an hour, Boomshine (nice name btw, catchy).

 

It sounds like it may suit me, but if not I like reading things like that anyway.

 

Haha, thanks! Wish I could say it was original, but I jacked it from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

 

Lemme know what you think of the read!

 

I just read the post, it was very helpful! Thank you! Hopefully I will be able to post my own story here

 

Very glad to! Can't wait to hear a success story!

[JTP1994]

Haha, thanks! Wish I could say it was original, but I jacked it from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

 

Lemme know what you think of the read!

 

 

 

Very glad to! Can't wait to hear a success story!

 

I loved it I did comment on it but I didn't get any signal from work when I was posting sadly.

 

I'll do it now.

 

And what part of GTA was that? Been a big fan of the franchise since I was about 10 haha..

[Boomshine]

I loved it I did comment on it but I didn't get any signal from work when I was posting sadly.

 

I'll do it now.

 

And what part of GTA was that? Been a big fan of the franchise since I was about 10 haha..

 

You're riding in the limo with Love Fist, and they're all drinking booze in the back, until one of them shouts, "Oh, that's not vodka, that's BOOMSHINE!"

[JTP1994]

You're riding in the limo with Love Fist, and they're all drinking booze in the back, until one of them shouts, "Oh, that's not vodka, that's BOOMSHINE!"

 

Ah yes! Haha

[chinko14]

the stories here really give me hope lol.. I'm so confused about things at the moment

[surfjon]

These things ARE confusing.....

 

When a couple first gets together, there is no history generally speaking, and the love is "new" and "fresh"....the infatuation stage indeed....

 

As time goes on and dynamics shift and then the inevitable "breakup" occurs, there is generally a "one-down"(the dumpee) and a "one-up" (the dumper).......

 

After the breakup, if the dumpee handles it properly by letting go, not clinging, trying to "move-on", being positive as in my case....

There is a slight chance at reconcilliation.......

 

Problem is, now there is history.....uncertainties and questions on both sides......usually there is a short "re-infatuation" stage, but nothing like at the start of the relationship.

 

I still can't figure my girl out and what she wants, but it's ok....I'm happy doin my own thing and although I'd like her to be more like she "used to be", this may not occur, and I'm ok with that......I can let go today if I need to and walk away knowing I TRIED!!

 

Somedays I'm tempted to tell her "THATS IT, I"M OUT!!", but I'm patient and feel like we invested 5 years together and I owe it to myself to see what ultimately happens.....

 

But I did the work, released her and moved on......she wanted back in and I let her, I can easily let her go again.....

 

 

I learned how to do it folks, you can too!!

 

peace!