gettingstrong

I just thought I'd post on this thread as I am trying to stay positive and focused. The good stories about exes reuniting are exactly what I need to hear right now. What I can say, and this is from past experience, is that you must truly change yourself and learn from your mistakes. I had been with my ex for 3 years and we broke up and got back together 3 times. Every time I would promise to change the negative qualities and the bad habits that made the relationship end in the first place. This would be all good for a week or even a few months, but I would always get lazy again, take her for granted and end up making her feel like she wanted to end it again. If you truly want to stand even the slightest chance of getting back with your ex, please concentrate on yourself and the reasons you broke up in the first place. Your old relationship is dead, it's over, you don't want to go back to that and neither does she/he. You must see the chance of a reconciliation as a fresh start, a clean slate, you are not trying to get that old relationship back, you are trying to create a new, stronger, better relationship with that person. As I said above, we split up 3 times, mainly through mutual agreement, but I would always begin to think that I really loved this girl and I would do anything to get her back. I told her as much and it was enough to reunite. But what I was saying was probably what she wanted to hear and not what I was actually going to follow through with. If you get a second chance, or even a third or fourth, make sure you mean what you say and that you have made the changes you need to make sure that the relationship doesn't fall back into complacency. Once you do that and make the same mistakes again and lose her/him, you are making it incredibly difficult to ever reconcile again. That's where I am now, we split after 3 years, after three previous breakups, I tried to get back this time telling her everything I had told her before. Guess what? She didn't believe a word I was saying and now won't speak to me at all. I am now using no contact and making improvements to my life that I should have followed through when I promised her before. I am getting counselling, learning to be more confident, loving myself, being more proactive, have managed to get a new job and have started weight training again. Actions speak louder than words! My advice to anyone who gets that second chance is to make sure you have changed in some way, make sure that you don't take her/him for granted, don't get comfortable and NEVER forget what this feeling is like of being without them, if you ever get back into the old habits and arguments, just take a step back and remember the crushing hurt you felt when they were not there for you. I am hoping to prove my ex wrong and that I am finally making the changes I always promised I would. Maybe it's too little, too late, but these are significant changes that I know will show her I am not playing games anymore. I will post back here with my success story!