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Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal

annie24

By annie24
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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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Oh okay. I can understand. Well, but if you get it, the benefits will be good. So, worth the wait. Are you trying elsewhere in the mean time?

 

yes, I need to start applying to other places again. I've been rather busy the last month or so and put off some job applications but now can get back to it. Also, I have a lot of stuff going on in the lab, so I don't feel a huge rush to leave very soon. We have more data than I can analyze and quite a few manuscripts to write.

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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at first, it was just going to be a brunch type thing at my place, just girls. Then her husband said he wanted to have male friends there too (I know her and her husband through work) so now they will have the party at their place, but I will go there and bring food and drinks and set up the things. I mean, I enjoy party planning and seeing friends. but yeah, it's ballooned....

 

If it's hosted at their place but you're contributing, I'd say just write a nice card, or get a very small gift. Like if you're hosting it at your place then definitely no need for gifts or even a card, but I don't know, I'd feel weird not bringing a gift (even if just a small one) if it's at their place, and everyone else does and it's not clear how I've contributed to the event? That's just me though!

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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If it's hosted at their place but you're contributing, I'd say just write a nice card, or get a very small gift. Like if you're hosting it at your place then definitely no need for gifts or even a card, but I don't know, I'd feel weird not bringing a gift (even if just a small one) if it's at their place, and everyone else does and it's not clear how I've contributed to the event? That's just me though!

 

That's fair - What's another $30 at this point. lol. I don't mind, but at the same time am trying to be budget conscious.

 

SO....... I had a weird evening. I was napping and then I got a text from.......... Tom. The guy I went out with twice a few months ago who was fresh out of a relationship and then I never heard from him again and I was a crying wreck for weeks. Yeah, that Tom. He texted me out of the blue - said he would be at a bar/restaurant near my house in an hour did I want to join him. I was apprehensive but said sure, what's the occasion? he said Sunday Funday. So, ok. I got there and it's him and 2 other guys. They spent the day at a beer festival and they're drunk as skunks. Well not falling down drunk, but you could tell they spent half of Sunday drinking and this was their final stop. So, ok, I sit down at the bar with them and talk to Tom. I ask him what happened - why did I not hear from him for months? He said things with his ex got "stickier" and whatnot. I said I understood so that's why I decided to leave him alone to give him time, and he said he appreciated that. I told him about my interview last week, that would move me an hour south. He said he is moving to the nearest big city to there (that's where he actually works). He lives here but works remotely but spends a day or two a week at the office in that big city south. He asked when I'll know if I get the job, and I said it depends on when the red tape is lifted and if they like me, but I hope to hear from them soon, but really, who knows.

 

So we just talked and talked. He's drunk. We talked about the beers they tried. His friends left (maybe thinking they would give us alone time??) I just finished my beer and offered to put him in an Uber. He said no, he wanted to walk (it's a 2 mile walk back to his place). I said ok, I'm going home, have a good night. We hugged goodnight, he said he would text me when he got home and that's that.

 

geez.

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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It does sound like a weird evening but the alternative was not to go and to wonder what if - I am not at all judging your choice - as I read it I assumed your choice would be to meet up (FWIW I might have done the same thing -"might" because I'm a bit risk averse about going out at night to a bar, to meet up with someone who's been drinking but I know people do that all the time!).

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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At that point, I didn't know that he was drinking all day or that he was with his friends. Obviously it wasn't a date because he said he would be at that bar/restaurant near my place in an hour, do I want to join him (not us). I wasn't sure if he was in my neighborhood for some other reason. But yeah, weird. First thing I said when I saw him was "you're drunk."

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WithLove Grand Master

WithLove

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That's weird. I personally would have been sort of uncomfortable. I feel like him being pretty boozy and inviting you out - well, I would have considered myself thoroughly put in the friend zone, "hook ups only" kind of place. If that's what you wanted from Tom (and I don't think it was), I'd pass next time you're asked out. It just sounds like an awkward and uncomfortable situation all around.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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Yeah. I mean, I'm glad I went because I was curious anou what happened. He didn't say anything to me like I missed you or apologized for going MIA. I guess some stuff went down between him and the ex, which I understand. It's not always a clean breakup. Anyway, I felt nothing when I saw him, which is good for me. I'm anticipating a random text to hang out 3 months from now. Chances are, I'll ignore that unless I'm really bored that night.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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Thank you!!!!

 

I spent the weekend with a friend, i've written about her before. We've been friends since college and she was out here for the weekend with her boyfriend (he's nearby for work, so she's sightseeing during the day). Can't remember what name I gave her. She's still with her boyfriend for almost 7 years, on and off. He's still married. I don't know if the wife knows or doesn't care. It's just kind of frustrating. She wants him to move out of his house with his wife (he actually lived with my friend for a few years while he and his wife were separated). Anyway, he moved back into the house because he missed his kids. I dunno - I don't think he'll ever move out again, at least not until the kids are grown. This guy has everything he wants - wife, girlfriend, kids, house, no alimony or child support. why change? He's selfish, she's wasting her time waiting on him. she was texting me last night because he didn't come back to the hotel at the time he said he would and wasn't responding to her texts. she was worried something happened to him. Where was he? Ok, he came home at 5 AM after drinking all night with old coworkers. pffft. oh well. whatever. this guy does what he wants, he doesn't answer to anyone.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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I haven't heard from my FWB for 2 weeks. Which is fine. I know he's moving. I'm also not motivated enough to text him and see what he's up to. Maybe he moved on. Maybe he's under a heavy pile of boxes. oh well. whatever.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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The party went well, the expectant parents were really happy. They really loved my preparation and themes and food and stuff. We also played some games and those were fun (actually, the mom and her teen daughter won both the "big" prizes, lol!!) I had smaller gifts for runner ups. I made was too much food and brought way too much booze. I really don't know how to estimate food for crowds and I easily made enough for at least 2-3 times more people. ooops! But I'd rather have too much food than have people go hungry at a party or run out of alcohol.

 

The international friends crack me up. The intention of the baby shower is for them to bring a present - half the guests didn't bring presents. One brought a pie!!!! Another brought sweet buns. We really didn't need more food. Sigh. Their heart is in the right place. I think in some cultures, you don't buy a present until the baby is born, so maybe that's why. We played a few "traditional" american baby shower games so I'm glad they got to partake in those (like guessing the type of melted chocolate in the diaper or guess what the baby food is. I had 6 different kinds of baby foods and the guests got spoons and had to figure out what's what (apple, peas, squash, etc....) They found it to be pretty disgusting.

 

When I was back in college, I threw an outdoor daytime bbq party. It was going well, had tons of meat and food. It started at noon, people stayed, I thought that people would leave around 4-5.... but no one left. They just hung out. And then because it was dinner time and I had so much more meat to grill, I just started grilling again and people stayed for dinner. The guests left past midnight. hahaha. I was supposed to go out and get brunch with Carol tomorrow, but I have so much food, I told her to come to my place for lunch.

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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I can't relate to buying presents or having a shower pre-baby but understand many do so maybe that is how your friends felt? As far as alcohol - I've actually never heard of alcohol at a shower since the expectant mom can't drink or if there is, it's minimal. Among my favorite baby gifts were hand me downs because I felt like I was helping the other parents declutter lol.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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Well, it was a co-ed shower at night, so it actually had more of a get together/party feel than a shower. Originally I was planning on having just girls, then it would have been mimosas at most. A lot of people in our friends group either don't have kids, or just had their first one, so no hand me downs. My friend has a teen daughter from her first marriage in a different country already but doesn't have any leftover baby things. I know others don't bring anything for the baby until it is born.

 

Anyway, it was a fun party.

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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Well, it was a co-ed shower at night, so it actually had more of a get together/party feel than a shower. Originally I was planning on having just girls, then it would have been mimosas at most. A lot of people in our friends group either don't have kids, or just had their first one, so no hand me downs. My friend has a teen daughter from her first marriage in a different country already but doesn't have any leftover baby things. I know others don't bring anything for the baby until it is born.

 

Anyway, it was a fun party.

 

Oh ok -it was more of a party. I wouldn't expect anyone to bring hand me downs - was just sharing that I loved receiving hand me downs (and the people who sent them also typically sent a small present too -which is what I've done for my friends who become parents).

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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I got a random text from Tom this morning. He said he watched a documentary and thought of me. Asked if I wanted to get a drink with him sometime. I haven't responded. I'm not really interested if he's just going to send me random texts/invites once a month.

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notalady Mentor

notalady

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Tom reminds me of this Matthew Hussey video I saw recently:

 

/

 

And the follow up: /

 

Love that guy by the way and not just because of his accent, he's got a way of getting the message across and I agree with most of his videos haha...

 

But yea... an occasional text, promise to get together and asking you to hang out when drunk? Next!

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