For the ladies in the message below about prostitutes

[RayKay]

I always find it curious when people call it the world's oldest profession as a justification.

 

For a couple reasons. For one, I could say the same as slavery. Does not make it right.

 

Second, a profession as I understand it is something that refers to an occupation that requires extensive, ongoing education, training and adheres to a code of ethics. I am pretty sure despite the "on the job training" there is no way it can be called a "profession".

 

I have another issue...if you really ARE studying law...well this is not something that is going to reflect well in the future. I am a law student too, and am aware there are ethics you must adhere too (ie not to break the law) and I actually work for the administrative board that charges, investigates, suspends and disbars lawyers whom DO break the law - be it for drug use, fraud or solicitation including engaging in illegal sex acts.

 

I mean you are entitled to do as you wish if you are willing to take that risk.. though I don't buy that it won't affect you at some point more than you know....my concerns are that while you have some "freedom of choice" it perpetuates a system where many women DON'T have that "freedom of choice". You only have to look at child prostitution, street walkers, and women abducted, tricked or sold into it in many countries never to be heard from again. I read files upon files right now of women whom are in these situations they are less "free" in...and it heartbreaking.

 

You only have to look at the current Pickton case in British Columbia to see how many ARE victims of prostitution in more than one sense, and are far from empowered. Unless you consider ending up in a meat rendering plant as empowerment.

 

 

Sure, you are a "high class escort", but I have spent time studying the gender politics and seen how even that perpetuates violence, degradation and disrespect for women and girls whom are not as able to be "high class".

 

And I consider myself far from "close minded" given I actually did study this extensively in my last couple years of undergrad under someone whom was very, very knowledgable in the area. I realize there are many women whom end up with little other choice in this world to do it. What I cannot understand is why those whom do have choice do it, given that it does affect others more than they know.

 

I do wonder though, have you thought about how this will be explained to a future long term partner (or if you already have, how did that go?).

[annie24]

interesting experiences! the travel must be very cool. I'll be honest, "prostitution" is something I feel very conflicted over. It has always been around and always will be, legal or illegal. And I think it is a 'victimless crime' in the sense that it is between consenting adults. If a man and woman want to have sex for free, that's ok, but if they have sex and money is involved, then it's illegal. that's just weird to me. What if a man and woman have sex, and then he buys her a pretty piece of jewlery afterwards? Is that prostitution or a gift? I like the way you phrased it, "being more honest" about intentions. But, is this something I would ever do? No. Would I ever want my daughter to do it? no.

 

What makes me sad though (at least about the street hookers) is how many of them are on drugs or are in abusive situations. It seems like a lot of them are doing it to support their drug habit. It seems like some of the people who have gotten involved in this line of work have had some really bad abuse earlier in life and their life has really taken "a wrong turn." I feel very badly for these women. It does not seem empowering at all.

[Working Girl]

I do not fault you for being skeptical. I saw the post below and it got my bleeding heart. Honestly, I'm sure the ladies do have tons of questions, and thought it might help if they heard from an actual lady with inside information.

 

Yes, my opinion is slanted, I love what I do, but I understand that not everyone feels this way. I know many women think much more awful things than actually happens. I was hoping to maybe shed some light on the situation.

 

You're right. I cannot answer the question of Why. But I have talked to men that view this as a sport, and understand certain things about them. It's mostly about the inside information, not the particulars in each situation. that would be heinous of me to try to decipher.

 

I am not however seeking personal attention. That you may choose to believe or not, it's really of no concern to me. I know that if I had something done to me, I would try to understand it, by any means necessary and I thought this forum might be appropriate being that I do have a different perspective on it and might even be able to offer some advice or help.

 

The main lesson being that just because he went elsewhere for certain things, does not by any stretch of the imagination mean that he does not love you. In fact, in a man's own weird way, sometimes it means just that. He doesn't want to leave because he does love you so much. Most men are not paying for the sex, etc.....they are paying for the girl to leave afterwards. Harsh, but true.

 

My post here is definitely that of my own experiences, however I do have access to a community such as this one of people that are nothing but providers and hobbyists as we call them. And thought my knowledge of such things might be able to help. Obviously I cannot provide specifics for any situation, but might be able to help in the general sense.

[annie24]

I do not fault you for being skeptical. I saw the post below and it got my bleeding heart. Honestly, I'm sure the ladies do have tons of questions, and thought it might help if they heard from an actual lady with inside information.

 

which post are you referring to? do you have a link?

[itsallgrand]

EvaGina and JadedStar, hi.

 

My question is honest and (I think) deserves at least an answer. From the OP.

 

RayKay made points that are valid. There is much more to escorting, prostitution, and 'hooking' than is being spoken about in this thread.

 

So, yes, I do think it is important to know why someone would like to spread a biased version of escort services on a public forum. Young girls have access to these pages. It's completely public.

 

If the intent is to open the gates of communication and to clear up misunderstandings, is it not wise to consider the source of the supposed knowledge?

 

If we are just bouncing opinions and stories back n forth, then so be it. That's a whole other ballgame.

[itsallgrand]

Thanks for the answer, Working girl.

[Tigris]

My opinion is that everyone has the right to do what they want with their life.

[Working Girl]

Ray Kay, you raise some good points. Some of which I've addressed, but in the hopes of honest, open discussion here, I'll readdress in further detail.

 

First, I will say that saying that it's the oldest profession was not meant to be anything but a saying. Not a justification. I will never justify my actions, only help others understand. And the definition by webster of profession is "4 a : a calling requiring specialized knowledge and often long and intensive academic preparation b : a principal calling, vocation, or employment c : the whole body of persons engaged in a calling ". So while yes, most of it is "on the job training" as you said, it is some women's (and men's) principle vocation, thereforeeee profession. Please forgive me if you thought I was trying to justify anything by that. LOL.

 

Second (cause I hate when people introduce a "first and not a second") I am no longer "studying" law. I graduated and then proceeded to practice for about a year or so, at which point I realized that was just not for me. At least not now (then). Maybe in the future, but again, I don't really know. I'm aware of the code of ethics violations as well as all potential repercussions of all of my actions. I understand that it might potentially harm me in the future, although, to do that one would have to have a conviction of sorts and since I do not advertise, have pictures, etc I feel I'm at a relatively safe distance from the dangers of that. That being said, some of my best clients are currently practicing attorneys. A truth. You take chances. Every day, in very different ways. This is a chance that I and my clients choose to take. We are both adults and understand the repercussions, yet still choose to engage in certain activities.

 

 

As far as it perpetuating a "system" that many do not have a freedom of choice in, well, I disagree. First, I disagree with child prostitution and being sold into the sex slave, etc. BUT, I do not associate what I do with people who are sick and try to take advantage of children. Just like I do not associate what I do with beating women, etc. I am a strong, educated woman. I set my own rates and run my own "business". Scheduling, screening, investing, upkeep (appearance, nails, toes, gym, etc). I have recognized that I have a strong enough presense or power over men that I can control it enough to make my life better through it. And I'm smart enough to take advantage of it. I realize I will not always be "pretty" or desirable. So right now, I'm using my full female empowerment to get myself ahead so to speak. It's the same as maybe having a man buy you a drink, or a coffee. Only on a grander and much more honest scale.

 

As for women that are stuck in this, no one deserves to do anything they don't want to do, regardless of what it is. The people that propagate that disgust me in any form. Period. I think I am doing the opposite, I am in this of my own free will, thereforeeee maybe that's one less girl who's made to do this? I dunno, that's just me being optimistic.

 

As to the high class comment. Yes, you're right. I'm a higher end escort, because I had the means available to be such. I keep my hair nice. My teeth white, I diet, exercise (daily-ugggg) etc so that I maintain my high end status. Should I slip, well then, I probably no longer could command the rates that I do. But again, it's a matter of choice. Say I knew I was 20lbs overweight and didn't want to change. Then I know if I was going to be an escort that I could not charge as much. I would then make the choice if it was worth it to me.

 

As far as affecting others. Yes, that is something close to my heart. My mother in fact knows what I do. I hate that I've caused her harm, but throughout the year, she's opened up to it a bit more and seen that it's not like what she was so afraid of. She knows I'm safe and that I'm responsible and I am very careful. Even though it's something she wishes I didn't do, she knows I'm too strong willed to change.

 

As far as future relationships, I don't know honestly. I would hope that I could be honest with the person I eventually love, but I know that might be asking for a lot. I guess that's another bridge I'll cross when I get to it. And I'll accept the consequences either way.

[Batya33]

My guess is that these lists have little force and are rarely enforced particularly when larger bills are waved around.

 

It's nice that you get to go to fancy parties and dress up. But will it be nice if you ever settle down and wonder whether your S.O. is taking a woman he hired for the night to some fancy party, instead of you?

 

Look, obviously you do it for the money not to get to go to these parties. The problem is what you are willing to do just for money. For me personally, stomach churning to think about it.

[Working Girl]

Annie, I agree with you. I would never want this for my daughter, however, if she chose it for herself, I would want her to be responsible about it at least.

 

Any type of dependency sickens me. Honestly, because you see someone you used to love become a shell of the person they once were. It's horrible, but yet MAN are making the drugs that makes these people sick. I guess it goes back to doing what you want, as long as you can accept the consequences. I also think you're right about the girls on the streets, anyone on the streets for that matter. Just like in everything, some people do use this to further their selves in actions that are not okay. I hate it, but it happens everywhere. Just the stereotype perpetuates this profession overwhelmingly. When in reality it's just a few.

[Cygnus]

Working Girl, if I may......It seems to me that you have a unique quality of being immune to love (of course, I could be off base here...). Have you ever fallen in love with anyone, be it an acquaintance or client?

[Working Girl]

My guess is that these lists have little force and are rarely enforced particularly when larger bills are waved around.

 

It's nice that you get to go to fancy parties and dress up. But will it be nice if you ever settle down and wonder whether your S.O. is taking a woman he hired for the night to some fancy party, instead of you?

 

Look, obviously you do it for the money not to get to go to these parties. The problem is what you are willing to do just for money. For me personally, stomach churning to think about it.

 

 

Batya, I understand you think differently that I do and that's to be expected.

 

First, the lists are very well heeded except of course among street walkers. But then again, pretty much anything goes there.

 

You're right, it's very nice I get taken out and wined and dined and if my SO ever does decide to do that with someone else, that will be something I will have to deal with at the time. I honestly don't know how I would handle it but would hope I would do so with an open mind and gracefully. Although, I realize, things change.

 

Finally, you're absolutely right. I DO IT FOR THE MONEY. Period. I love everything that goes along with it though. I've only had one bad experience and that's due to my standards. I try to do this right so that I WILL NOT have to do this forever, lol. I love going to the parties and meeting the important people that I've met, etc, but at the end of the day, I DO IT FOR THE MONEY. And because I don't necessarily like to date clingy men, this is a viable option for me for the time being. There's a joke that I think you might consider before you judge just "what" exactly I'd do for money. Remember, absolutely everyone has a price. Now, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks? Have you ever let your boyfriend buy you dinner? Ever let a stranger you've no intention of giving your phone number to buy you a drink? Same concept, only my price is higher.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"

 

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

 

The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"

 

"Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."

 

He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"

 

She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"

 

The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."

[annie24]

Thanks for answering my questions.

 

I set my own rates and run my own "business". Scheduling, screening, investing, upkeep (appearance, nails, toes, gym, etc).

 

so, how does this work? do you work through an agency, or do you advertise in a newspaper in the "adult services" section? (Just wondering because I always read my community newspaper and when I see an ad that says, "Cindy - classy, petite brunnette, call 555-1212", I just wonder what that ad is for exactly.)

[Working Girl]

Working Girl, if I may......It seems to me that you have a unique quality of being immune to love (of course, I could be off base here...). Have you ever fallen in love with anyone, be it an acquaintance or client?

 

Cygnus, now that's an excellent question. I don't think I'm immune to it. I think I understand logic and reality better than most. The reality is that I'm being paid for my time and companionship. I understand that while I might have a blast with some of my regulars, it is not a "regular" relationship by any stretch of anyone's imagination. The logic is that I'm making money by charging for my time.

 

I've had two clients fall in love with me, both I would have been lucky to end up with, however, I am a very ambitious person in general and am still young and have no intention of settling down any time soon. Which I why I do not allow myself to fall in love.

 

I have been in love, yes, never with a client though. Always with a person I met outside my "biz". However, during my time as a working girl, I have accepted the fact that it would not be fair to engage in a relationship outside my business efforts at the moment. I would not want to be honest with him and I would not be okay with him "being okay" with what I do. Lol. As odd as that is. When I do fall in love, I want him to be my everything. I will not settle. I will not give him half of me or part of me. I will give him everything. So I cannot be in love and do this, although I know plenty of girls that are.

 

I have been in love several times, but head over heels once too. Was just too young to understand what I had, so I messed it up.

[Gracelove]

Just out of curiosity (sp?), why is this posted under divorce? I mean, infidelity is often a cause of divorce, so why would you talk about the "call girl/escort" business here?

You mention why men may cheat on their wives or go out with an escort, but don't you think posting it in this forum (divorce) is slightly insensitive?

[fnlyfrei]

I guess I have never felt inclined to judge the prostitues. My ex slept with one when my middle son was 6 months old. I was probably still baby-fatted, feeling horrid about my body, and we were apart for a few weeks. After he told me I never even thought about the female who let him use her body for money...I thought only that he was an astoundingly weak person. I eventually lost the weight, felt better about myself and dumped his sorry butt. What comes around goes around I suppose, and once you betray someone you can't take it back. One can say men can't help it, yadda-yadda...and as miss firecracker said...the competition encourages her to try harder...(whatever) (that could go bothways I suppose...) Now my ex can hire all the women he wants. (good riddance!)

[Working Girl]

Thanks for answering my questions.

 

 

 

so, how does this work? do you work through an agency, or do you advertise in a newspaper in the "adult services" section? (Just wondering because I always read my community newspaper and when I see an ad that says, "Cindy - classy, petite brunnette, call 555-1212", I just wonder what that ad is for exactly.)

 

Well, I do have a website, I don't advertise anymore because I only work by word of mouth now. lol Sounds odd. We have a very strong community and since I cater to a very elite section, most just "refer" me to their friends. There are general websites that you can advertise on, and a few years back, before the internet, they did have to go through papers, etc. Now, some of those might be escorts or hookers, but for the most part they are probably "sugar babbies". There is a separate community for that entirely. Those are the women that want to be the women on the sides, the boudaries are blurred, etc. I'm not a big fan of that because it requires manipulation and such, which I don't approve of. Plus, you're playing with their hearts, which is wrong. I believe in being direct. You know what I want as a client, I know what you want. Let's be honest about it.

[melrich]

Just out of curiosity (sp?), why is this posted under divorce? I mean, infidelity is often a cause of divorce, so why would you talk about the "call girl/escort" business here?

 

That's a good point Gracelove. It's not really relevant to divorce so I have moved to career and making money.

[annie24]

Ah, interesting....

 

So, when you go to a "high society party", what percent of the couples are genuine couples, what percent are "sugar daddy/sugar babies", and how many are "man and escort?" Can you tell when you are tell who is who? (wedding ring aside, of course)

 

I'm just curious, this is not the world i live in, just wondering what goes on....

[Working Girl]

Just out of curiosity (sp?), why is this posted under divorce? I mean, infidelity is often a cause of divorce, so why would you talk about the "call girl/escort" business here?

You mention why men may cheat on their wives or go out with an escort, but don't you think posting it in this forum (divorce) is slightly insensitive?

 

Gracelove, you're right and it was never meant to be insensitive, however as a friend who knows what I do sent me this link, I never thought about looking around to see if there were other areas to post this. So I just read the post about cheating husbands and posted. I am sorry if this offends anyone that is going through a particularly rough time right now. I really was just unfamiliar with the site.

[Cygnus]

Well, that's an excellent answer, especially the part I highlighted!

 

Be safe, and I hope you do find love when you are ready.

[melrich]

So, when you go to a "high society party", what percent of the couples are genuine couples,

 

Here's what I don't get. If you go to one of these "Society" events with a guy who is married, I assume you are there because he is a high profile person. I would assume also because he has been invited he would know others at the event. Don't they look askance when this guy they know is married turns up with a glamorous young thing that they know is not his wife?

 

Personally, if I was cheating on my wife I can't forsee how I could do it out in public where I'd likely run into people I know?

[Working Girl]

Here's what I don't get. If you go to one of these "Society" events with a guy who is married, I assume you are there because he is a high profile person. I would assume also because he has been invited he would know others at the event. Don't they look askance when this guy they know is married turns up with a glamorous young thing that they know is not his wife?

 

Personally, if I was cheating on my wife I can't forsee how I could do it out in public where I'd likely run into people I know?

 

Melrich, usually, either there is an unspoken acceptance of married men there with other women at these events. Usually in this circumstance either the man wife have an agreement or something of that nature. Also, usually the men that I go with are not in fact married, most are single. Most married men fly me on trips with them. Also, usually they are not very high profile. The few celebrities I've had the pleasure of escorting take me places where there is a high level of acceptance and people know how to keep secrets.

[melrich]

Also, usually they are not very high profile.

 

Yeah but you don't need to be high profile. If I were to go out for dinner with someone other than my partner in my town, I would guarrantee you I would run into someone I know. Same if I flew to Sydney to meet with someone. You just could not feel safe going out in public like that with somoen other than your partner surely.

[annie24]

So, as a girlfriend or wife, what "warning signs" are there that our man is off with an escort? (Besides finding plane tickets for him and another woman). And how, in your opinion, is the best way to prevent our man from straying? Is it really as simple as a woman giving a man a BJ or anal sex or whatever his sexual request is, so he doesn't have to seek it out elsewhere? But I imagine that even some women who do oblige their men's needs still get cheated on. So something else must be at play....