For the ladies in the message below about prostitutes

[Working Girl]

I still want to know where your conscience is when you know the man that you are dating is married or in a relationship??

 

Okay Tee. I was originally going to look over this as it did not seem a well thought out comment, but seeing that you've asked it twice I will respond.

 

I run a business. Plain and simple. I am not "dating" these men because I like/love them, I am "dating" them because they pay me. I have a very marketable resource which is in fact me.

 

I have no obligation to these women. I am not seeking out these men. I have a website with keywords on it and they come searching for me. I simply do not ask questions. It's not my place to know if they are married and why in fact they are doing this.

 

McDonalds sells fatting cheeseburgers, most of the American population is overweight, but they make billions upon billions each year doing so. Is this something they should feel bad about? No. Why? We live in a capitalistic society. I am capitalizing on what I have, and the ability to recognize that I can make money just off being me. Tobacco companies, same idea.

 

Most of the things we do each day might not be the safest/sanest things given all of the options. Driving a car while on the phone, walking down the street while listening to our ipod, etc. However we live in a society where we make our own choices, that is part of our freedoms. We make the choice to order a nice fatty cheeseburger over a good for you salad if that is what we want. Same idea only a not as accepted concept. I never come on to men, and then charge them. The have decided they want to partake of my service and search me out. Why should I feel bad about that? I do not understand that concept at all.

 

So, from what you're saying, I should find out which clients of mine exactly are married and feel bad about seeing them? No. Lol. Sorry, I figure if the person is seeing me, they are an adult and have made their mind up to do so.

[Cimmie]

In other words, turn yourself into a total doormat, or an unpaid ho.

 

There are men who would use a prostitute, and there are men who wouldn't. The trick is avoiding the ones who would.

[Working Girl]

MoneyGod-

 

First, I have to laugh that you are in fact the one passing moral judgment. But maybe you're name is tongue in cheek?

 

Anyway, to answer your questions. First, I will say, not only am I daddy-issue free, lol, I was raised in a very loving family. I have no problems experiencing love but do not think it happens so often as people get married. I think love and lust and want and infatuation are very easily confused.

 

I was raised in a middle class family. Fantastic Mother and couldn't ask for a better Dad. I was your average little girl. I'm a classically trained pianist from the time I was 5. My Mother sent me to cotillion classes so that I could understand all the finer things that I would someday achieve. She had done better than her parents and hoped that I would do the same and gave me the tools to succeed at an early age. She taught me about kindness and love and generosity and made me volunteer (even when I didn't want to-lol) from an early age. I got to pick the organization, but I had to volunteer at least one day a week. It's a habit that still carries on to this day. I was also enrolled in martial arts since I was 5, just to be sure that I was able to protect myself. Lol. I was never abused or beaten or molested in any way. In highschool I was awkward and didn't lose my virginity until I was 19. I was good at school and was pretty much a nerd, taking 4 years of Latin as I thought it would help in law school and on my SAT's. Gradated college early without much of a social life (still being awkward) and went to law school after interning for a year. I've been in love, and I've lost. I have great friends and am very social. My friends know what I do as does my family.

 

I have no outstanding issues other than the fact that behind closed doors I am a huge nerd (reading, video games, learning languages just to learn them, lol), I'm sure of course there are other issues that I'm not aware of, but I believe everyone has issues. That's part of the fun of individuality.

 

When I greet my so called "Johns" it is the same as any first/second/third/etc date as I would in my personal life. If we do not hit it off on the first date, we do not have a second. {how exactly is that any different that real life?}

 

Gradually, there is an interest/attraction built up that we either satisfy or not. If I do not like the person, it goes no further. Sometimes even when I do like the person, it goes no further. {again, how exactly is this different? maybe I'm missing something}

 

In every aspect, what I do is similar to dating, except I get paid for it. Also, we understand that while we can have fun together, the parts of the typical relationship that make it bad are left out (arguing, calling each other too much, etc). It's dating, without all the in-between stuff.

 

As for the sadness you feel for me, please, save it. I do not in any way feel isolated. I have friends, family and a healthy career. I have everything that makes me feel whole. I actually feel a little sad for you that after all I've posted you still accept your own misconceptions as fact. I have no unresolved childhood issues and by all accounts am the same as any other 20-something out there. Please, save your sadness for yourself and open your mind to the possibility that your own misconceptions or shortcomings lay the groundwork to the gross biased reality that you have contrived to represent something you do not understand and have not taken the time to properly evaluate.

[Working Girl]

In other words, turn yourself into a total doormat, or an unpaid ho.

 

There are men who would use a prostitute, and there are men who wouldn't. The trick is avoiding the ones who would.

 

Cimmie, you're absolutely right. Although, I wouldn't call it turning yourself into a door mat, just trying a bit more. I answered a question that was posed to me, even though I am by no rights an expert. I was just throwing out ideas, lol. Just, I think the main reason people who wouldn't normally stray is that they want something that they're not getting. I'm not saying become anyone's doormat, I don't believe that is the key, but maybe, take the time one day a week or so to go out of your way to make your partner happy, sexually, mentally, etc.

 

There was a post made on "our" discussion board recently that was relevant to this topic of why men stray and a man made a very interesting post. You might disagree with him, and me, but it's at least informational. {please keep in mind the gentleman frequents what would be described by me as a hooker-mainly exchanging sex for money, no other activities usually take place---the first part of the post was a rebuttal at another man's reasons}

 

 

 

""""""Men hobby for many reasons. We should only reflect our own reason. If you hobby merely for variety, then so be it. But do not speak for me.

 

U mention generational differences, perhaps you are a young fellow and still learning the ropes. I am an old guy and have given up trying to understand the ropes.

 

I do know a few things:

 

1) I love my wife.

2) I have not gotten a Blow Job from my wife in 24 years.

3) If she (wife) my jumped my bones (willingly, not the "done yet" obligitory sex we all can get) twice a week, no lady would ever see me undressed.

4) If my wife decided to give me a blow job, I would buy her a new Mercedes.

5) The quickest way to cure a nymphomaniac is to marry her.

 

I hobby due to not getting enough/much at home. Why go to the store if the fridge is full....

 

And these are MY positions. I respect that I may or may not be reflective of the general hobbying public."""""""""""""

[Superfreak]

This has definitely been one of the more interesting threads. I can't help but laugh at the poster that thought "Working Girl"'s must be psychologically tormented in her line of work. I sure wouldn't mind the "torment" of getting hundreds of dollars to go out to a fancy restaurant for a few hours.

 

I think that prostitution and the sex-service industry is something that will be here as long as their are humans on this Earth. It should definitely be legalized, taxed and regulated so it can be made safer. If it was just brought out in to the open and was subject to government intervention then alot of the bad stuff (STD's, child prostitution, violence against prostitutes) could be significantly reduced or eliminated altogether and the government would make tons of money off of taxing the service in exchange. It's such a win-win situation it's incomprehensible why we havn't legalized it yet.

 

I learned quite a bit from this thread, I'd always associated all escorts with being just extremely expensive high-class hookers and the "girlfriend experience" to be a codeword for that. I definitely find it somewhat lame to essentially pay a good looking woman to act as your friend for an evening but quite frankly, I could care less how these high priced lawyers and businessmen choose to waste their money, they've got more than enough to waste. I can even see some of the appeal of being able to go to the company party and having the most attractive girl in the room with you. I think "Working Girl" provides a marketable service like any other and I don't have a problem with it (even if she did provide sex for money).

 

I'm torn though on the issue of married men seeing hookers or going out with escorts. On the one hand, as a guy I can definitely see how a wife outright refusing sex can start to take its toll on a person. On the other hand it's definitely breaking your promise to your partner. Ideally I would say that people should just be careful in choosing a partner that has the same level of enthusiasm for sex that you do, but it's impossible to see how people will change in to the marriage.

[rocio]

Now you may say, prostitution (escort is a euphamism of it, but I'll call it what it is) is not the same as being a hit-man because nobody is being killed. But I'd argue that relationships are being killed, marriages are being killed, real sexual intimacy is being killed through this abominable corruption, so they are one in the same.

 

Being in the mafia and murdering people causes deaths. Escort services do not cause the destructions of marriages. If a man decides he wishes to cheat on his wife, he is going to do so. If he didn't do it with the OP, he would do it with another escort. And if there were no other escorts, he would do it with a street prostitute, a horny chick in a club, a horny chick from online, etc. I think it's two completely different topics.

[Luke Skywalker]

Being in the mafia and murdering people causes deaths. Escort services do not cause the destructions of marriages. If a man decides he wishes to cheat on his wife, he is going to do so. If he didn't do it with the OP, he would do it with another escort. And if there were no other escorts, he would do it with a street prostitute, a horny chick in a club, a horny chick from online, etc. I think it's two completely different topics.

 

Well I dont think so, it's merely a boundary on what people consider moral or not. I used an extreme example to put a point accross. Even if this is less extreme, it still doesn't make it right. I'm sure the spouce or girlfriend of the guy that went with a hooker would see it that way, or even a future spouce or girlfriend.

 

Again, if cheating is wrong, which I'm sure most people on here agree, then having an institution where people actually pay for it and being sanction by society to uphold it would be outrageous. This is the biggest form of spread of STD's and diseases and it's not fair to SO's or future SO's.

 

It's the same logic as saying, sure, a SO is going to cheat, so it's ok if someone makes money off of it, and ok for the state to sanction this or even encourage it by legalising it and placing taxes. Some of these guys use money from their gf's or wives they have in joint accounts or have entrusted to them. Some of these guys, rather than spending money on their wives on a trip somewhere or investing in their children, will squander their money away on these escorts for a quick-fix. Do these escorts know where the money is really coming from? They dont care what people they hurt, where the money comes from, I mean there is lots of moral implications everywhere on this.

 

See, the only real logic this OP has in what she is doing is other people are doing it and making money, then why cant she - and I see that as the only justification, but just because other people are doing an action doesn't make it right. There are lots of people who are obese, does that mean being obese doesn't entail a health risk? Of course it does.

 

Just think of it, how would you feel if your mother or sister did this? You have to have issues to give your body over to strange men just to make money, and this is not the behaviour of any respectable woman.

[CaptainPlanet]

Escorts have sex with you if you give them money. Oh no the sky is falling.

[Dako]

Interesting thread, and I noticed a number of evergreen assumptions about escorts being in the sex business, yet if you go out in public for an evening with a guy and he drops you off afterward, it's about the same as going on an innocent date, but for money.

 

It's not hard to understand that a guy may just want good conversation with a pretty woman, and not want sex at all.

I noticed you wrote you don't have sex for money. I believe you, because you must have plenty of personality to offer.

Sort of a Western geisha.

[FortunateOne]

Escorts have sex with you if you give them money. Oh no the sky is falling.

 

Wow! LOL! What a sarcasticly mature ad hominem argument. I see a lot of thought went into this premise. Just for research, here are some links that may educate the misguided:

 

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I guess the application of academic sciences into societal rules of laws are not for the "sociopaths" among us and thereforeeee they should be accepted and tolerated for the benefit of the world. NO! I don't think corrupt thought and speach should be condoned; the expression of it yes, but not the justification of it to be clear in my belief.

 

The problem with the world is the acceptance of corrupt thought and it's portayal in a glamorous light. The OP and her clients are to blame for the continuation of this problem and it's funny how they try to sugar coat their acts as benevolent deeds. Please, next your going to tell me that gangter rap is not promoting a corrupt life style and that they are great role models.

 

The OP may well be educated and holding a JD, yet if she truly understood the ethical/moral societal obligations of law then she woulds acknowledge that to become an licensed attorney one must pass the Determination of Moral Character in which one's history comes into play. I wonder why the local BAR would want this completed if the moral fiber of the person wasn't important? This is why corrupt actions aren't healthy towards a healthy psycological development of our species and society creates rules to assist in such development.

 

 

First, I have to laugh that you are in fact the one passing moral judgment. But maybe you're name is tongue in cheek?

 

(BTW: My user name is humorously mocking ironical statement towards what my professional obligations entail.)

 

PS: I can afford to rent someone like the OP for a month if I want, yet I chose to invest my cash wisely into children charities so they don't turn out with the OP's mind set since I can find stimulating female company with out having to pay for it.

[Dako]

I've known hookers and strippers. I've even experienced (horrors) having sex a few times.

I'm far from naive, Luke.

 

I suspect you're looking at this from your very unique perspective.

[Cimmie]

Geishas have sex with their clients

[annie24]

Ex-gfs? No, don't think so. Lol, but that's a good one. Maybe, they just never tell me.

 

you know, after some of the things I have read on ENA, I wouldn't be surprised if some men did hire beautiful escorts to accompany them to a party where their ex wife or friends of his ex wife will be, so that word gets back to her..... people do all sorts of stuff to tick their exes off.

[Dako]

you know, after some of the things I have read on ENA, I wouldn't be surprised if some men did hire beautiful escorts to accompany them to a party where their ex wife or friends of his ex wife will be, so that word gets back to her..... people do all sorts of stuff to tick their exes off.

 

Or to just look more successful for business reasons, photo-ops or just to pump the old ego. My ex was approached to do this by some gay men fearing being outed at work.

[annie24]

Melrich, usually, either there is an unspoken acceptance of married men there with other women at these events. Usually in this circumstance either the man wife have an agreement or something of that nature. Also, usually the men that I go with are not in fact married, most are single. Most married men fly me on trips with them. Also, usually they are not very high profile. The few celebrities I've had the pleasure of escorting take me places where there is a high level of acceptance and people know how to keep secrets.

 

ironically, I was reading CNN and MSNBC a few days ago and there was a story on A. Rod being seen around the country with a mystery blonde (not his wife!) He was spotted with her at restaurants and clubs around the country. My first thought was, "why is it news if a rich celebrity athlete is cheating on his wife? this is what qualifies for news on CNN and MSNBC?"

[Cassie]

In defense of the OP, she did state most of her clientelle is single. In that light, she is a mature and grown woman who has every right to choose how she wishes to conduct her life. However, the problem arises when significant others, wives and families are involved. That is where I have a tough time grappling the concept in general. The money may be a great incentive to turn a blind eye, however, never would I personally be able to become an escort. My conscious simply wouldn't allow it. Money means nothing if it entails (for me) selling my soul in the process.

 

Those who argued tobacco companies, fast food, etc are absolutely right - these are many mediums for potentially churning out billions of dollars. But ultimately at what cost?

 

I find this discussion enlightening on a psychological level. What extremes can manifest themselves when money becomes the prime motivator?

 

A question for the OP - if the money involved was mediocre, would you still derive enjoyment from escorting and feel compelled to continue?

[CaptainPlanet]

Money god it is an integral part of our society that men pay women to be around them in one way or another. Why should I argue sensibly a point that has been proven many times over and argued by many more learned persons than myself.

 

Escort services are legal, prostitution is legal or accepted in most countries. Theft is not. Theft is immoral. Sex is not.

 

I make pretty girls laugh so they stand next to me for longer that way I can look at them for longer. How is that different to coughing up a few bucks for her to stand around and talk at me ? Theres no love in either.

[JadedStar]

Cassie I totally agree wtih you there!

 

If these men are single, I have no thoughts or issues on the subject of escorts at all. In other words, it's not of any monumental concern to me.

 

When families and wives are involved, and the 'escort' knows that the person is married and she turns a blind eye to pay her rent, then she has to answer for that on her own conscience. Even if she is not religious or believes in God or karma, everyone still normally has a conscience and she must understand that just becuase her moral compass is swinging one way today, in the future it may change and she will have to live with knowing she was a part of hurting people. Unlike a person who cheats one time and hurts one other person or family an escort or hooker has the capacity to hurt HUNDREDS of other people and families.

 

So if a person who cheats once in their life can become consumed with guilt later in life over the pain they caused (maybe not when they did it but it hits them later) then surely there is a huge risk that the escort will feel this way as she gets older and our values shift.

 

Our values DO change as we get older and it is a part of growing. A person who does not do much priority changing from the age of 18 to 50 likely didn't grow and learn all that much.

 

So that being said, its on her conscience if she actively helps ruin marriages and families. To simply say if he doesn't do it with me he will find it elsewhere is a cop out. We can ONLY be responsible for our OWN actions, not others.

 

If i had ever been an escort in my 20s i would be very consumed with guilt today because my values changed. Not that i think i could have been an escort in my 20s because even then i STILL had values, but they were more lax then they are today. And had i done that i'd probably feel guilty quite a bit if i knew i played even a small part in ruining marriages.

[kmartin85]

If the men that use escort services are so quality. Why do they need to pay for someone elses company? Paying for sex is almost more understandable because it is not every day you find someone you can be intimate with and there are very strong physical urges involved. But to pay for an escort? You sort of just have to ask why. Is it becuase some men do not have the social prowess to find a woman who will spend time with him is it because of some hard to control constraint that they cannot fullfill this without money. Any way you cut it, as a man I would feel deflated if I had to pay people for this type of social or physical interaction.

 

The reason why I could see a man paying for it would be it would be attachment free. Let's face it ladies, if a nice guys asks us to go somewhere really nice and has us on his arm all night we are more than likely hooked. A lot of these guys probably do not want the attachment or the headache that us women cause.

[Luke Skywalker]

In defense of the OP, she did state most of her clientelle is single. In that light, she is a mature and grown woman who has every right to choose how she wishes to conduct her life.

 

In defence of the OP, right. Let's take that argument of single people, what respectability is involved when you advertise that your body is for sale (even if it's in euphemistic jargon saying 'only conversations' or 'I'm an escort not a prostitute' which you can read through the lines of both)? Is that something that's tied to a reputation of a respectable lady? If your mom or sister did that, would you say your mom or sister is a mature and grown woman who has the right to choose who she wishes to conduct her life and just shrug your shoulders --- it's easy to say things like that when there is no connection personally.

[Luke Skywalker]

The reason why I could see a man paying for it would be it would be attachment free. Let's face it ladies, if a nice guys asks us to go somewhere really nice and has us on his arm all night we are more than likely hooked. A lot of these guys probably do not want the attachment or the headache that us women cause.

 

Not really. Casual girls dont like being attached to guys either. If you hook-up with a girl that has a reputation of sleeping with everyone and anyone, then you can expect that such would be attachment free.

[Dako]

Seems insulting to imply the OP is lying. I actually admire her candor.

 

I was very close to a woman who was a stripper, and she had to deal with the stigma of something she never did.

[JadedStar]

Seems insulting to imply the OP is lying. I actually admire her candor.

 

I was very close to a woman who was a stripper, and she had to deal with the stigma of something she never did.

 

I hope you don't think i implied she was lying (not saying your post was to me, i jsut didn't see anyone saying she was lying so thought maybe you misunderstood my intent). My post above was for escorts who DO know that the guys are married. I have no reason to believe this person on this thread is lying. There would be little motivation to do so since we don't even know her. It would be differnet if she were passing out business cards or had some motive...

[Cassie]

In defence of the OP, right. Let's take that argument of single people, what respectability is involved when you advertise that your body is for sale (even if it's in euphemistic jargon saying 'only conversations' or 'I'm an escort not a prostitute' which you can read through the lines of both)? Is that something that's tied to a reputation of a respectable lady?

 

Hi Luke, it is not for me to judge another person's respectability. Jesus himself sat with prostitutes and others shunned by society. He illustrated the epitome of compassion. It is not up to me to condemn anyone, ever - all must take responsibility for their own actions in the end.

 

If your mom or sister did that, would you say your mom or sister is a mature and grown woman who has the right to choose who she wishes to conduct her life and just shrug your shoulders --- it's easy to say things like that when there is no connection personally.

 

Yes, absolutely, if these were their choices in life. We all have been given the gift of free will, and it is up to each of us to use that precious gift wisely. If we don't, we again must bare the brunt of the consequences manifested in our lives. I believe strongly in Newton's theory - for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

 

We are all inherently flawed. But for myself, to cast judgement upon others would be nothing less of hypocritical.

[Dako]

JS,

No, you haven't but it has crept into a few posts.