SecretsGirl

Hi Everyone, Thankyou for your advice. SLBG: I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 25. We've been together 6 months and having sex for 3 months. Althought we have both been tested for STD' i think it might be the best idea to use condoms because i'm a very paranoid person usually! xx

Hi, I started on the pill a few weeks ago, at the start of my period. In the last week there have been 2 days where i've been late taking it by an hour or so. I'm seeing my boyfriend on tuesday - is it safe for us to have sex then using no other form of contraception or should we use condoms too? Thankyou xx

Hi there, I'm a 18 year old girl, i read your post & i wanted to try and say something to change how you feel about this... For a start being in a relationship can cause a lot of worry & problems at times..it's not always the perfect picture it may seem! From your post you seem to b a very nice person & there's no reason why other people will not see this...you say when you talk to some girls they kept their eyes averted from looking directly at you...this could actually be because they DO like you and are too shy to look straight at you! Don't worry about what you're sister said...it was a very untactful was to go about it & i see no reason why anyone else should think the same. Also, i don't think you should worry about when you do meet a girl...it won't be a test, you won't be expected to act in a cetain way. Everyon'e differnt when they start dating someone...that's what makes it exciting. She'll like you for you are. I know it's hard when there seem to be couples everywhere but there are just as many people who are single & in the same situation as you! Don't worry about the future and like Mar said, don't put so much pressure on yourself...it's really not unusual to not have been dating by 19. I know quite a few guys and girls in the same situation. Keep smiling! xx

Hi Everyone, I posted about a month ago explaining my situation where i had recently had sex with a guy who had become a good friend of mine (&used to be my boss). There had been an attraction between for a few months & then when i broke up with my boyfriend (due to long-standing problems) we bagan to see more of each other outside work. This resulted in us having sex when i spent the day at his house. Since then i have seen him almost every weekend and we have had sex each time. My problem is that i feel like i'm losing him. He asked me to go over to his on Sunday of last weekend but i couldn't cos i already had plans. I last saw him the previous weekend and everything was fine. However, recently we have been in contact much less during the week than we have been before now. Since October we have had some form of contact every night but now this seems to be disappearing... Tonight i knew he might be busy with work so i didn't phone him & instead i sent him a message just to say 'Hi' and see how he's going on & i've had no reply all night...It's driving me mad thinking about it! Do you think he's lost interest cos we've slept together and maybe he feels he doesn't have to try as hard? Or maybe he's just not interested in me as much anymore? We aren't a couple & this isn't an option as he doesn't want anything serious with anyone right now and neither do i after my previous relationship. But then i find myself worrying when he doesn't reply to me!! I wanted this to be casual...have i got too attached? Is there anyway i can get his attention back without scaring him away?? Any help will be greatly appriciated, Thankyou xx

I know how you feel...time seems even longer when your waiting for a phone call or a messgae to arrive. If he's shown interest in you before then there no reason why he should hesitate from seeing you now, maybe he's just got a lot on at the moment and hasn't realised how much time has passed. Also if he thinks you have a boyfriend he might not want to appear too keen so as not to cause any trouble. There could be many, many reasons why he hasn't replied yet but none need to incude how he feels about you. Like you said he might simply not have the phone. If you've waited 6 months, you can hold out for a few more days...even if they do seem long!! Or do you have any mutual friends who you could ask about it? or do you know any of friends who might know where you stand? Wish you all the best, really hope it works out for you xx

Hi liz, 6 months does seem quite a long time to be seeing someone but not refer to them as your girlfriend/boyfriend. Are either of you seeing anyone else? If so, that may be why he won't call it a relationship. Alternatively, has he had a bad experience in the past with too much commitment which is making him hesitant? No matter what the situation it is a very bad idea to have sex with him to try and make him your boyfriend. It is unlikely that sleeping together will change everything and it could end up with you being hurt. Especially if you aren't ready for sex. Good Luck xx

Actually, i think it has already got back to his boss. As he isn't my boss anymore there that shouldn't be a problem. I know he hasn't had any trouble at work because of it. While i was working with him there were often comments from other workers that we seemed to be getting on well and it was noticed that there was a chemistry between us. If anything develops i don't think that people would be very surprised by it. I'm trying hard not to become too attached to him because at the back of my mind i don't think this will be as long lasting as i may already want. xx

Thankyou, this is useful. I can't really discuss this with my friends cos they would strongly disagree with me sleeping with him because he had been my boss, and because of his age (which i don't see as an issue). But it felt right at the time and thankfully i don't regret it now. Only worried about it's concequences. I have exams this coming week so i can't see him then but he phoned just now ( ) and we arranged to see each other next weekend. You're right, i do need to talk to him. I'm slightly worried about what my parents would say if they found out as i still live at home. 18 and 25 isn't too bad is it? xx

Hi Shari, I can understand that your girlfriend doesn't want to 'rock the boat' as disputes could affect her children. I''m sure this must a very hard time for both of you. You say: "I often feel left out, jealous, and honestly like I'm not important." Have you told her that you feel like this? Does she tell you why she sometimes sleeps in the same bed as her husband if she knows how you feel about it? I hope things work out for you xx

Hi, thanks for your comments It is a good thing he's not my boss now!! lol. I don't think that i should ask for a relationship though, i don't even know if i want that, my relationship with my ex was very difficult towards the end i'm not ready for that again. I'm just concerned that i've lost what i had with this guy before we slept together. I'd rather try and keep him as a friend than repeat what happened the other day and risk losing him completely (however good it was! ) He might just be very busy recently, i just don't want to lose what i thought was a good friendship (even though there was obvious attraction between us). Could he think of me differently now? Thanks for any help xx

Hey, Does this guy know that you split up with your boyfriend? Maybe that's stopping him from getting in contact with you if he doesn't. He might have been surprised by the mention of a boyfriend if he knew you were interested in him. It can't do any harm to send him the meaage that you mentioned...even if it's just to let him know that you're still interested in meeting up. Good Luck, Hope things work out. xx

Hi Everyone, Firstly i'll apologise for the length of this post but any help will be very useful to me. Okay - here's my situation. 6 months ago i started a new job and straight away i got on well with my boss. He's 25 and i'm 18. We only saw each in work at first but he would the make the effort to see me each day and sometimes stayed at work later than he had to. Then we started went out at weekends with some other work friends and even though at this time i had a boyfriend he was very affectionate, always putting his arm round me, & paid me a lot of attention. Things were going wrong with my boyfriend and i had a few personal problems and he (my boss) was always there for me as a friend to listen and he did everything he could to help. I split up with my boyfriend in November and one night after this i was at work me and my boss ended up kissing. No-one else at work ever found out and it happened again several times. He would phone me virtually everynight after work, i liked him because there was never any pressure from him (unlike with my ex). We never analysed our relationship - it just was what it was. However, i always had doubts about whether i was the only girl who he phoned regulary. When i was with him he made me feel like the centre of his work...but i thought there was a chance that he could make other girls feel like that too. I had to change jobs in early December but we continued to see each other, meeting at a place convenient for both of us (theres quite a distance between where we live). Over Christmas i still heard from him everyday but we couldn't see each other until this week. This time i went to his place. As the subject will have told you...we ended up having sex. I was completely unexpected from both of us but it was amazing. We spent the rest of the day in bed - sleeping & talking. The problem is that over the last few days since it happened i've heard less from him then i usually do. Maybe it meant more to me than him? For all i know he culd have slept with someone else since...i don't know what to think. Do you think i made a big mistake by sleeping with him relatively soon? Could he just forget me now? Any advice or opinions would be greatly appriciated Thankyou, SecretsGirl xx

Hi, i'm a 17 year old girl. You may have one of my other posts and know that i have recently had a few problems with my boyfriend, thinking that i had feelings for someone else. Well, i've figured out that it's my boyfriend i want to be with. We've been together nearly 7 months, before our relationship we were good friends - the best. We could tell each other everything and still can. I don't know if 7 months is long enough to say that it will definitely work long term but right now we've very happy. We have the occasional problem like every couple but nothing we can't get through. Good Luck xxx

Hi, i'm a 17 year old girl. Asking your for a back massage seems like a good sign to me, i remember when i had a long-term crush on my guy friend a while ago i asked him to do exactly the same. The mopping incident also seems to be going your way, a way for you both to be close to each other without any potentially embarrassing convosations. Do you ever meet up out of work? maybe that could be the next step as it's more likely for something to happen between you two if you aren't at work. Good Luck, let us know how it goes xxx

Thankyou so much for replying. Yes, i think i have figured out enough to know that i do feel something for my friend, and to be honest - that isn't totally new. My boyfriend does know my best friend, they are friends themselves to a certain extent. However, my friend knows there are problems with my boyfriend and has reassured me that despite the fact that he has some sort of friendship with my b/f - he will remain my best friend no matter what happens. My b/f also knows that my friend has had feelings for me in the past and does suspect that he still does. I'm not sure whether my friend would still want more with me or not but most people saying i'm missing the obvious. And, yeh my b/f also knows how close me and my friend are - tho he doesn't know that i have some sort of attraction towards my friend now. He can get jealous, but then again he gets jealous of guys who offer to buy me a drink when he isn't around, my other guy friend (who's bisexual) and loads of other people. When my b/f tells me he loves me it used to make me feel on top of the world and i could say it back with no doubts, now i just feel guilty because of all this confusion and how i've started to think of my friend. I don't want to totally lose my b/f cos we were very close friends before we started going out but i don't know if i can carry on this relationship. Thankyou very much for the advice xxx

Hi I understand your problem, i go to college from 9 til 4 every day then have a job 5 til 9 on mon, tue, wed and thurs. I thought that'd be great cos it gives me weekends free - unfortunately most of my friends work weekends.....bad idea hehe Plus, weekends i have to help out with my mum a lot cos she's ill and i have swimming and guitar lessons. So long as you show your girlfriend that you want to see her and its only other commitments that stop you from seeing her as much as you'd like, things should be ok. Make the time you have together special and theres always phone calls to keep you going - thats what i do Good luck xxx

I realise that it does sound as tho i really would prefer to be with my friend, maybe i would - i don't know. Just right now my boyfriend is being difficult and jealous of any guy who talks to me and he has been like this for quite a while tp be honest. Whereas my friend is the one who's been looking after me in a sense. I do recognise all the qualities my boyfriend has, he's kinda, caring, sweet...but he has started to irritate me which has never been a problem before. I'm not sure whether my friend does have feelings for me but that doesnt change the fact that i need to sort out who i want to be with - wether he likes me or not i need to decide. All my boyfriends have been friends first, i've no idea who, it's just worked that way. I've always got on with guys better than girls. Thanks for the replies, i honestly appriciate it and it does help xoxox

Thanks for replying, well - i just had a visit from my best friend who just came over to see how i was. I hadn't seen him for almost a week (doesn't sound much i know) and i only realised how much i missed him when he hugged me. ARGH - who does he have to smell so nice?? Then i spoke to my boyfriend on the phone and i just found myself finding him irritating every so often (more often then i'd like) and he ended the convosation with ''remember, i love you so much'' sounds like he knows i have doubts, i tried talking to him but he avoids the issue, i have no idea where i stand now!! damn my uncertainty!

Hiya, i'm a 17 year old girl and very confused. I have a boyfriend who i have been going out with for over 6 months and i've always been happy with him. However, i also have a best friend who is a guy a few months older than me. There have always been rumours about him wanting us to go out but i never took it seriously, althought he has indicated that it's true. My friend can be flirty with me and is quite often very affectionate. I have recently begun to have doubts about my relationship with my boyfriend and i'm not sure whether i want it to continue. I have just come home from a holiday with some friends, including my best friend and i feel much closer to him now as we spent all our time together. But now i'm not sure about my feelings for him, i think i may have a little crush on him and i don't know how that will develop. Some days i think i love my boyfriend and i don't want aything to change, others i know that can't be true and think it may be time to move on and maybe see what could happen with my friend. Any advice?? Thanks xxx