Pandora

I'll make this short and sweet.. I've been dating this guy for a while and i'm just wandering what's a good way to respond when he pops the question of asking me to be he's girl... Any reply's appreciated Thanks..

HELLOOO Everyone!! Its been a while since my last post and i think i've finally learn to be at peace with myself. The past few months had been an emotional rollarcoaster for me. Its not easy for forget or let go of someone you love deeply but as the old saying goes 'Time will heal all wounds'. My healing process hasn't been smooth sailing and if its not for the advices i received from here it would have been harder. I had no contact whatsoever and it does make life easier and i got my life back on track but to me the real test is when i have to see my ex again for the first time after the breakup. I took a huge step back from my healing and broke down again, the first time in months. We couldn't even look at each other in the face and things were really weird. But i'll like to say that i have finally bridge my barrier and now i'm perfectly okay with my ex. Its him who seems to have issues now but then its none of my business. During this time go out and have fun even if you don't want to surround yourself with friends. Built up your confidence once more. Do not let the other party see you like that show them your world is a better place with them out of the picture. Even if it doesn't feel like that now it will in the future. They are exes for a reason. Maybe you'll get back maybe you won't but take this as a learning experence. I have put my life on hold just for him and now that i'm free i've been enjoying myself. I realised that there are actually plenty of other hot guys out there and i have been getting my share of attention be it when i'm clubbing or just walking down the street. Once you learn to love yourself people will start to love you too. Everyone is special. Life doesn't stop it goes on. I know for quite a number of you out there the pain seems to last forever but don't lost hope it will go away although it'll take time. Cry all you want do anything but don't hurt yourself. It is possible to get your life back on track there'll always be peeps here to help and give advice and support. For all the heartbroken people out there you'll have mine. You can do it. All the best... Remember do not frown cause someone out there is falling in love with your smile.

Hey... i figured that most people would feel this way and i'm no exception. It takes more than just time or another person to forget a love so strong but i'll want to believe its possible. so the answer to your question is YES.

Hey, Well it's seems like a good thing that she wants to get back to you and maybe you are having all this mixed feelings because you are kinda unsure yourself. One part of you wants her back but the other part of you tells you to be careful cause you don't want to be hurt again. You've got to decide for youeself whether you are you willing to take this gamble. It seems like she does wants to come back to you just that she doesn't really know how to put it. Give both yourself time and see how it works out. All the best....

Hey cobra, I'm kinda going through the same thing with my ex no contact and all. Well the good thing for me is that we don't share mutual friends so i still have my girlfriends to fall back on but the bad thing is that we're in the same college and i have to see him everyday whether i like it or not. i still miss and love him lots and since i start seeing him in school again i have started crying too even though i have stopped for months when i had no contact. For you part i think you did a good job by initiating no contact and taking the effort to heal and try to get over her and making new friends. I feel that what your mutual friends did was mean they should have at lest help you and not try to bring you down any further. it seems best if you cut all ties so that you can heal properly that worked for me. If there is a chance you guys can still get back together again. And it good too that you have bother to go out and have fun. Its a hard and trying time for you but if you want to heal its all up to yourself. If there is need you can come here and post your problems .People will always answer or you can pm me.

Hey tough girl, Thanks for your advice. The thing is how can i maintain 'no contact' with him when i keep bumping into him in school? It's hard as it is having to gace him and all but 'no contact ' seems to be the only way to helped me to heal at the beginning. Is there any other way? I've been really down this couple of days all over again just because i have to see him in school. Another thing is that apparently quite a number of people in school already know that we have broken up but it have onlt been 2 days!! I know i said nothing so that leaves it only yo him. why is he in such a hurry to spread the news that we've broken up? Does doing that achieves anything? Does it makes him feel good? i meant when we first got together he wanted to keep a low profile why the publicity now? I hope you guys can give me some advice i'm really confuse. Well i've been avoiding him i( i dunno about him) i just can look him in the face. it seems as if he is not affected at all, that really upset me. doesn't our relationship means anything at all? Hope you can helped me with my many questions. thanks...

Hey buddy.. I know this really sucks and hurst a lot but know that there are still people who care about you. i'm still healing from my own breakup and believe me it haven't been easy. What she did to you is really mean. It looks as if she's trying to spite you and put you down as if she's saying she has a better life than you or something. Don't let her put you down. The best thing you can do for yourself is to have no contact with her. It would help a lot in your healing process. From what you say it seem as if she had already moved on, back to her ex so it doesn't look like there is much chance. Why not give yourself a chance to date other girls and maybe you'll fine someone better. I did no contact and it work but when i went back to college and saw my ex all my hard work when down the drain so stay away for a couple of months at lest. hope i've been some help. Maybe things will get better maybe it won't but it all up to you. All the best..

Hey Peeps.. My ex (of 4 and a half months) and i broke up about a month and a half ago and like what my previous posts says i went through all the grieving, feeling numb, deniel, crying and pleading and all that. i believed that period was the darkest hour of my life i couldn't have felt worst. I think most of you would think that since it was only a couple of months it doesn't really matter but love cann't be measure by time and hell do i love him even up to now. It wasn't easy but thanks to the advices and encouragedment from my close buds and the nice people here, i mangaged to pull myself together and try to let go of my hurts and to let go of him as well. I delete him from everything my phone, email and msn and followed the 'no contact' rule. Everything was going pretty okie, i stopped crying and feeling bad for myself and busied myself with my friends going out, clubbing and all. I even got a date with an old friend but i turned him down cause i wasn't ready for it. Then the term starts and i saw HIM in school. Not only are we in the same college but in the same form class with three other classes together talked about sucky. If it was up to me i wouldn't have want to see him for at lest 3 to 4 months but of cause i wasn't given the luxury. When i saw him i didn't say hi or anything and neither did he (he was the one who say lets still be friends but ended up as the one who ignored me) i didn't even look at him in the face. The worst part is all those feelings and emotions just come rushing back again. It seems as if my weeks of hardwork had just gone down the drain. When i got home i just started crying and feeling the hurt all over again. Well i would really like some advice. What should i do? How can i keep up the no contact when i have to face him everyday knowing what we've lost? Thanks guys...

Hey Peeps, First of all i want to say that this site have helped me through a very difficult period of heartaches and tears. Its been 3 and a half weeks since my ex broke up with me right after a 3 weeks 'break'. After 3 days of crying and begging i came upon this site and decide to pull myself together. Anyway, all the great peeps here have helped me lots giving me advice and so on and i really want to thank them. If you want to know more you can read my previous post here. link removed I followed the advice given and went for the no contact rule. I delete his number from my phone and his email as well and recently frim my site and even change a new email. Well a week after he dumped me he texted me good night but i didn't reply. He didn't contact me for a while until last saturday he texted me saying he;s going to dine out with two of our mutual friends and whether i want to go along. I replied ' whatever for?' meaning why should i go for the dinner. He then texted back saying its alright and that it had been cancelled. And just a couple of days ago, i met up with this really old friend of mine from my old school and he seems to be interested in me as he keep trying to ask me out and keep wanting to talk to me and saying i'm pretty and all those stuff. We didn't really get a chance to talk cause i've been keeping mydelf busy and going out with my girlfriends most nights and he can only call me at night as he's serving the army now. We set a date when he'll be out of camp and i'm kinda going out on a date with him on new years day. He's quite nice and all and even want to pick me up from my place( which my ex have never did before). The thing is i'm not interested in him although it nice to get some attention from guys and i dun want to hurt his feelings or anything by leading him on and i still have strong feelings for my ex and this new guy is not really my type. During this period not once did i initiate contact and only broke it with the reply. The question is 1) what does all these means Is my ex trying to tell me something? 2) Should i go out with the new guy, give him and myself a chance and would knowing that i gone out on a date with some other guy affect my ex in anyway? 3) Is the no contact working in this sense? 4)Is it good that he's initiating contact? 5) Did i do the right thing by not replying the first time and giving the short reply the second time? and... 6) Is he trying to trst me or something by asking me out to dinner? I'm really confuse as to what he's trying to tell me. Part of me wants him back but the other part is afraid that if i do i'll be hurt again. Another thing is that i'll be seeing him this friday as its the first day of the new term. I don't know whether i'm ready to see him again so soon. Please give me your advice and answer. Should i still harbour any hope? Thank you all ..

Hey, I know you are feeling really miserable right now and thinks that life is not worth living and all but you have to stop all these dangerous thoughts. Heartache is a terrible feeling but you will get over it in time to come although it doesn't look that way now. You'll have to try to let go and let yourself heal. Clingying on to the relationship will only make it worst. What you can do is to talk to your family and friends let your feelings out, cry all you want because doing that will make you feel better. It would take a lot of work if you want to set this relationship back on track as you have cheated on him. There is the trust issue that you will have to face. Would he still trust you? And besides you hurt him as much when you cheated on him. There is a very slim chance ( l'm sorry ) that you guys will get back together. The best thing you can do is to not hope for it to happen. Try to let go and let yourself heal. I'm still recovering from my own breakup and its been almost 3 weeeks. It is hard the first week or so but trust me it will get better. Listening to music had helped me a lot. I hope that my two cents worth is of help to you. All the best...

Hey girlfriend, from what you say about him spreading rumurs about you and stuff and not giving you an absolute reply, it seems to me that he's a really immature guy. He shouldn't have let his friend got in the way of you guys. In a relationship both parties should make time for each other. He probably doesn't even know what he wants if not he won't have lied to you and hurt you so. Ask yourself do you really want to stay with a jerk like him? Someone who will hurt you and lie to you and not be sensitive to your feelings? You deserve better then that. I know you don't think like that right now but you'll have to be strong. Dun let him see you crying or sad. you have to show him that you'll as well without him. time will heal everything. all the best...

Hey Claudia. i'm in the same situation as you. My ex broke up with me about three weeks ago and he too say the infamous ' l hope we can still be friends' line but ended up being the one that treating me like a stanger. When i initiated contact he did not reply. To me that i still want to be friend line is just them being polite. I seriously doubt they meant it but they're just trying to be nice. It's such a cliche isn't it? I know its hard to get over him but the best way to do it is to have no contact with him at all cost. Delete his number from your cell, his email address and remove him form your msn. I know just how hard it is but trust me it is for the best. l went through the same thing and i'm still healing now but having absolutely no contact really helps you to heal faster. Meanwhile go back to doing things you enjoy and try to get your mind of him. By and by when you don't see any of him mail wise or online you'll start to miss him less and less. Trust me it works. As with all my post, l'll adive that you listen to music. lt really helps a lot. All the best... Happy holidays..

Hey MrDraw, Thanks for the advice given by both you and beec. i know that i still love him and all but i've got to admit that now that i've think about it i would have second thoughts about going back into the relationship agian cause if he can do it once he'll do it again. What ever it is i know that its going to be hard to have to face him again in school so soon after the breakup. I would rather not have any contact with him at all for at least a couple of months to give me time to heal but i don't have that luxury. The think is i do not know i would react when i do see him. He's quite a popular dude in school almost everyone knows him and i know many girls have their eyes on him. I just dunno how to handle it if i see him around with some other girl. Stressful besides the fact that it'll be my final yr in college next and having to take my A levels.

I don't know if this is going to help but know that there many out there who are feeling the same emotions as you and people do recover and heal from their breakups. I know how you feel i'm still recovering from my breakup but look on the bright side you guys are still communicating for all you know things may turn out for the better in the future for you guys. Like what the previous post says you two may be playing the same game and follwing the same set of 'rules'. Well in my opinion don't take rules so rigidly. Treat this 'rules' more as guidelines be more fexible and change as the situation arise. Everyone is different this rule make work for some but not for all you've got to modify it to suit your needs. The rules were created by mere mortals like you and me too they are not set. Breakups are one of the hardest thing someone has to go through but don't give up on hope, love or yourself. Music helped me alot during this period. Hope that music can help you to lesson the pain too. All the best..

Hey, Your ex is probably confuse and is not sure of what she wants herself. Having to deal with a breakup is not easy. By the way who is the dumper and who is the dumpee in this case? If you really want her back you have to give her time to miss you. Dun message her or call her. People never know what they missed till they'll lost it. You're still hovering in her life in a way now since there is till contact. You have to give yourselves both time to seriously think things through. At this moment you'll think that you really love her and want her back but you've to calm down and think things through. I've been through the same thing and i did all the begging and pleading but that only pushed him further away. since she did not give you a definite answer she probably still have some hope of working things out between you guys. If you were the dumper and wants her back, she might play hard to get and make you work to get her back. What ever it is its best not to get your hopes high so that ven if the worst happen its expected. For me i find that listening to music really sooths me and help me through the breakup that i'm still going through now/ hope that music will help you too..

Hey, It would be best to not send him the goodbye mail cause when you do you'll be waiting for a reply. If he doesn't you'll be upset that he can't even do a small thing as to give a decent goodbye and even if he does reply you'll still be upset that he's taking things so easily and able to let go so fast. what ever the case you'll not be happy with the result cause the reply that you want just wiuld not happen. Don't give yourself more grieve, Let it go and move on. Let your hurt heal. I know it sounds impossible but time will heal all wounds. all the best..

Hey beec, Thanks for the reply.

Hey, i know exactly how you feel right now. My ex broke up with me less then a month ago and i know all the pain and anguish you have to go through. Like what everyone around here says time will heal all wounds and i'm beginning to see what that means. Everyone heals at a different rate but what ever it is, know that there'll always be sunshine sfter the rain. One thing that have help me through this terrible odeal is music. Listening to music helps a lot. As the saying goes 'let the music heal your soul' may it help to mend your broken heart too. Stay away from pop music though its full of sappy love songs. Your situation is not as bad as mine at least he is willing to talk. All the best and happy holidays...

Firstly i want to thank all those guys for giving me advice on how to deal with my breakup on my previous post. I'm definitely much better now. The 'no contact' rule really helps and i haven't contacted him to to 3 weeks. The thing is the hols are ending and i'll be seeing him in school. there's no way for me to avoid him cause we're in the same form class and i have 3 other class with him. I have no idea how he would react or how would i for that matter when we next see each other. So i have some questions here that i would like to ask the guys ( and the gals too if you laydees out there have any) some questions. 1) How would react when you see your ex for the first time after the breakup ( you are the dumper)? 2) What does it means when you had not call or text at all during this time? 3) What would you do overall like would you still be friends and so on? 4) What does it mean when you say the relationship is not progressing and that you only love the gurl as a friend now? 5) Is there a chance for this kinda breakup to patch up? I know everyone is different but i'll like to get a variety of answers so that i'll at least know what to expect. I'll like to know how i should react towards him as well. We didn't breakup betcause of a third party neither did either of us cheat on each other. It happened because he thinks we are not progressing and that he only love me as a friend now. Hope you guys can help me. Thanks a million...

Hey.. I know exactly how you feel my ex broke up with me about a week ago. I know the agony and all and how much you want him back but like what everyone says around here its best if there is no contact cause it not only helps you to heal faster it'll give you time to think about your relationship. You'll still think about him but as time goes back the time will lesson believe me i'm still healing from my failed relationship. He broke up with me cause he says he don't love me any more and that he doesn't think our relationship is progressing. I coulsn't take it i commit all the mistake by textinfg him and asking him why. Believe me what ever answer he gives it just will not satisfy you. Its best not to text him or call him at all. He may not be sure of what he wants and needs time to think. Give him time to miss you give yourself time to heal. I know it sounds like an impossible task it is still for me too but it gets better. For me music has helped me through a lot. Listening to music ( not sappy love songs or those ' i need you back songs') that tells you to let go and that there be a better tomorrow helps more than you'll believe. My friend let me listen to lighthouse family's high. the first time i heard it i cried non stop but after a while i realised it had help me to have hope in life without him again. Try it it works. Linkin park and michelle brnaches pretty good too. For me, its lighthouse family's high and michelle branch's goodbye to you. Let yourself heal. I know you can do it. Music heals all souls...

Thanks for all the adviced given.. i'm really thankful for them.. i know it'll all take time and it seems its best to not cherish any hope that he'll come back cos most likely he won't.. You guys are right its best to forget him now then to prolong the heartache.. only problem is we're in the same school and class and i'll bump into him everyday once school starts in a couple of weeks.. i'm afriad that once i see him all this weeks of getting over him would go down the drain..

I've read quite a number of posts and hope that someone here would be able to help me and answer my many questions. I've never been so alone or helpless. this may seem long winded but i think it is best to know the full story.We were classmates and friends before i found out that i liked him. One of my friend told him about it and as he kinda liked me too things just happened. Everything went on fine. We dated for about a month before he asked me to be his girl. I agreed immediately. We have some problems as my parnets do not want me to get into a relationship at this point and also because they were racist ( I'm chinese and his Chinese-Indian mix)but i still carry on with him. things were going well when i realised he was not as attentive as before, kind of cold and no longer care as much. My boyfriend broke up with me about 5 days ago. We were in a relationship for 4 a half months before he said that its best if we go our separate ways. I'm really shattered and have no idea what to do and how to response. Why? How? What did i do? All these questions run through my mind but i didn't get an answer. He told my through message. I wanted to meet him to talk things out but he said he wasn't ready to see me yet. The next two days i send countless messages to him pleading with him to reconsider and telling him how much i love him and how much i care and how i simply cannot leave without him. No matter what i say him still refused saying he already made up his mind. He said that he still love me but as a friend only and that his feelings for me have changed and he no longer love me as a lover. He said he still want to remain as friends and that i can still go to him for help and all but he have been avoiding and ignoring me, not senting me any emails nor messages and definitely no calls. I've asked him how did all this happen is it something i do? Is it another girl? He said it has nothing to do with me just the way he feels and no its not because he fell for another. He said to give him time till the school term starts as its the hols now. But why would he need time? We had such a wonderful relationship. Although all my friends says he does not trest me as well as he should and all i know deep in my heart that he is the one i love. I don't feel any anger or resentment at this break up. I'm only hurt and confuse and at a lose as to what do do. I know every relationship have different stages. The honeymoon time when they're sparks flying everyway and the later stages where the couples work to keep the relationship going. I know that our honeymoon is over and the initial feelings are gone but could it be that he mistook this different feeling and thinks that he no longer loves me any more? The thing is this relationship is a first for the both of us and he never had any experience and don't know about this feeling? Is there anyway to talk to him about it? It is not as if its any serious problem non of us cheated on anyone nor fall for anyone else neither did we have any huge argument. I'm completely shattered and i don't knoe what to do. I have no idea how he is taking it or how is he feeling. This relationship is a first for the both of us we are both 17. I dunno if he is just confused or if he really don't love me any more. His afraid to see me or talk to me but i dunno why? Can someone interprete this for me . What does it mean? Is it because he's afraid that seeing me he'll change his mind or that he don't really know what he wants? Please help me i really still love him very much and wants to know if there is any chance for us to get back together? Can i still harbour any hope or should i give up hope? Please teach me what to do?