OmegaMan

Wow, talk about respecting others opinions! I say risk it, the problem nowadays is that most people are controlled by fear. Be self-confident and do your best, if he rejects you before even knowing you, he's not worth it period. Show some guts, I've never met anyone who didn't appreciate someone who showed some courage. Good luck. This advice might not be as good as Anamarie as I don't hold THE truth just yet, but who knows, with time I might have the perfect answer to all questions. Etienne

That, I must admit, surprises quite a lot. I didn't think you were shy. A shame all things considered, 'cause you certainly have much to say. ETiennE

Je ne comprends pas très bien la situation, pourrais-tu l'expliquer de nouveau? Would you mind giving out more details? So what you said is that you are frustrated because you've got trouble communicating with your husband? Etienne

I don't believe all of us men think alike, but still your post was very much true (that's only my opinion though). I know this might sound off topic Couture (tu parles français?) but have you read the article why women like jerks? I did, and I finally understood why being a nice guy wasn't all that popular with women. I strongly suggest reading it, it's in the article section. Tell me what you think about it. Etienne

I must admit, at first I thought you were joking about ingesting your own semen. You know, you even put the smilies next to it, so I thought this guy is kidding. But now that I've seen the other replies, I realize this might be interesting to some people. As they say, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Still, I had never conceived that someone could do that. Broadens my horizons on sexuality I guess. Etienne

Hello, Everytime I read something that has to do with solitude I try to write as I've lived a lot of that and I'm strating (starting to understand the whole dynamics of loneliness. Ok, first of all, picture yourself a tree (this is gonna sound chessy, but bear with me). I believe that in any kind of situation everything starts with the roots. In this case, the roots represents yourself. Your tree (yourself) needs to have good roots in order to grow into friendships and a love relationship. You mentionned that nothing interesting happened since 1996, that would surprise me very much. Are you 100 % sure of that? That absolutely nothing interesting happened to you? Maybe what you consider to be unintesresting would actually interest a lot of people. If not, you can always ask some question about other people (and try to listen to their answers and not think about your next question). Anyway, once you've accepted yourself and learned to love yourself, things are gonna be sooo much easier. I've also got the feeling, correct me if I'm wrong that you live a very isolated kind of life. The problem is, nobody is going to come knocking at your door to become your friend, although you are worth it. Would work be a good place to find someone to become friends with? You also said that you didn't see how things might eventually change in your life. I've read some of the articles here (I strongly suggest to read some of them, they are so interesting) and one of them mentionned that sometimes, with depression, it gets to the point that we get used to being unhappy and become lazy in some way. I know this happened with me. Maybe time has come for action. Depression is actually healthy, it's a way your body is telling you that something is wrong with your life and that you have to do something about it. You've probably reached the point that you've had enough of all this. That is good, as it might give you your motivation to act. As far as traveling alone, I've been traveling alone since I was 16 (I'm 22 now). I've met some of my best friends while traveling. May I suggest a GREAT TRIP for you? It's called the Camino of Santiago. You basically start from France and walk all the way to the ocean. A lot of people go there (and I mean A LOT) and most of them are VERY NICE and glad to know new people. PM if you want more info on that. I would strongly suggest not waiting for anyone to do the things you like, otherwise, you might end up waiting forever. As far as the masseuses are concerned, please, DO NOT FEEL GUILT!! Guilt is an annhilating feeling that destroy self confidence. Learn to forgive yourself, it's hard, but you can do it. Think that you are doing the best you could at that time. What is wrong with using masseuses anyway? If it makes you feel good, why not? Whatever you've done is done, period. Alas, we don't have time machine yet, so it's up to you to decide wether or not you want to sabotage your own life or learn to forgive and accept what you did/are. As far as you height, I don't know. But I've met people smaller than you who had a wife, friends and family. So I'm not sure that's a factor. Are you sure the real reason is not deeper than that, deep within you? Did you know we often program ourselves based on the experience we lived when we were younger? I mean this is so revelating for me. Since you're 31 and still think about what happened in high school, this might've programmed you're subconsicous to think that the same situation will happen again. Think about it, doesn't it make sense? Don't feel sorry or ashamed by your solitude. Everybody's got problems, yours is solitude, so what? Don't you have the right to be alone and have trouble with that? Yes. Once you get rid of the shame, your self-acceptation will shine and trust me, this will work wonders. Don't be, this is what this place is for. You have the right to be happy. You have the right to have support. Ok finally, do you have some good ties with your family? If so, why not get social with them until you find a friend? It may not be what you are looking for, but isn't better than nothing? Did this help? I would appreciate if you replied here any of your reflections. Know yourself, has there is no way to love what you do not know. Take care of your roots (Love yourself) then you can move on upwards to friends and to reach the woman of your dreams. Yours, Etienne

Would you mind explaining why you like that please? I've never ever heard anything quite like this before. Etienne

This is so sad, who would've thought acting like this would lead to such terrible consequences. Gives you a pretty good idea of the consequences of revenge. Etienne

I've only got one question for you, do you feel better now that you've sent all those letters to her relatives? Do you feel like justice has been done? Do you feel that the fact that you publicly displayed her intimacy about her sexuality makes you even (well actually, that's more than one question ). If you do feel better knowing that, as she hurt your feelings you hurt her's, then I guess this is fine really. You did what you thought best. BUT, if you feel the same or even worse after you've sent the copies, then maybe trying to fix things would be a good idea. I've got the feeling, and god knows maybe I'm wrong, that you reacted this way because you were hurt deeply. Because, when you think about it, once she had left you, she was free to do whatever she wanted with her life, yes? I mean she could've had sex with anything or anyone and that would've been her decision, not yours. For better or worse (and I think better) we live in a Free country and I don't see why you would've the right to decide of when she was going to be ok for her to have sex again or with whom or with how many people. This being said, don't take this confrontation on the wrong side. I took some of my time, which is precious, to try to make you maybe think deeper about this situation. I honestly hope you begin to feel better anytime soon, as from what I've read from your previous posts, this relationship is tearing you apart from the inside. Courage, Etienne, aka OmegaMan

I typed a whole paragraph to reply to this but I then deleted it. This is going nowhere, only to more fighting. Anyway, I hope you find a solution to your problem. Etienne

Wow, all this story is quite astounding really. Not so much for what happened but the way you seem to react to this. You know with a title like this is gross in capital letter I was expecting some kind of twisted sex scene, with some sado-maso action going on. But turns out you were hit on by a girl. Yes, that are people out there who prefer people from the same sex. I honestly don't understand why this is troubling you so much. Your post seems to date from a few hundred years ago when homosexuals were burned on the public place. No offense, it's just that I'm honestly surprised by your reaction. I assume you're very young, not major yet, which is probably why something like this is so confusing for you. As far as being gay or not, you would be surprised as to how many people experiment things, which is fine, what's wrong with that? If that's not your case, fine no need to be rude about it. You know she won't rape you or anything. And although you're probably very good looking, she'll find someone else. I would like to add something else. I've read in a book about homophobia that people who were scared or overreacted to homosexuality often homosexuals who didn't assume themselves. I'm not saying you're gay (as you would probably take it as an insult ) but have you ever wondered why this trouble you so? If you can't do it yourself, you could always tell your man about it. I just hope he doesn't make that much of a deal of this. Who knows, this might end up a threesome. Here's my word of advice, take it easy, broaden your mind and be flattered to be hit on by someone, even a woman. That's the positive attitude, the rational attitude to have. Yours, Etienne, aka OmegaMan

Wow, I didn't expect that much repies, yaaay! P. Angel Ahem.. I don't know... hemm.. thanks? Pine You know my life, isn't that bad, lol. Don't expect some kind of nightmare, I have some good moments too. Well, you know, I feel better when I admit it. I know, I know, it sounds stupid, but you can't feel good about yourself when you're hiding something, or ashamed or something. I'm glad you can relate to my life, feel less alone ;-) A game of Magic anyone? lol, ah god.. all those memories. Which is good as you'll never satisfy yourself about a boring life, you'll look for amazing things in common stuff at some point, and that's what being alive is truly about. Highschool, is hard. I wish I lived next to your place, we could have a laugh. You know, a friend of mine (from where I was born) always told me the price of intelligence was loneliness. And you know what, the more I grow older, the more I think it's true. Isn't it absurd you don't have any friends. And you know what's worse, it might even come to the point that you start doubting that you're worth it! There's no sense in that, I know, I know. Don't ever doubt yourself though, that would be the beginning of a nightmare. Lol, that was funny, I laughed out loud on this one. Here's my e-mail: email removed Let's keep in touch. Colls I know, but I just feel like an outcast. Yesterday some 40 year old guy threw himself off the bridge and everyone talked about like it was normal. Man, this place is creeping me out. It's kind of like the perfect setting for a Stephen King novel. The other day I was taking a walk in what's supposed the be the busiest part of town and some french tourists were literally looking for someone to take their pictures. They'd been looking for 15 minutes on the MAIN STREET. They couldn't find a living soul. X-files stuff I swear. That's nice, thanks. Oh no, that's fine. I'm glad you liked the story. I've got thousands of those. You know the thing is, some stuff happening here would be considered scandals in civilised towns! Cheers, I will. Wonderwoman I know, I know. But everything I do is considered weird I think. Like I said I went to an painting exposition once and everyone asked why I did that. I was lost for words... That is very true and I will think about that. I just have trouble wondering where everyone is. Maybe they're at church, who knows. That's the next step, starting to attend to church, at least there'll be a few people yeah? Lol, look at stat canada, it's the town with the most suicides, that is a fact. Thanx. I will. Thank you for all your kind words and the unkind one. Let's keep in touch! I read all of your stuff with great interest.

Hi everyone, Ok, here's my situation. I'm currently studying in a mountain town university. There really isn't much of anything to do. I'm not being difficult by the way, there really isn't anything, it's like a ghost town. I keep wondering when Scooby Doo is going to show up with the gang to solve some wacky mystery. This being said, I feel very isolated. There's so much to say, I really don't know where to begin... You see the thing is you can't go to any activities because there's none right. The only social thing to do is to drink. I don't mind drinking once in a while, it's just not my favorite hobby. Today, I felt kind of sad and the thought of going to grab a few beers crept into my mind. I must admit this was kind of disturbing as I don't feel any alcoholic tendencies. Unfortunately, I can't talk to my parents about this as they would worry too much. It might be hard for you people to make some sense of all this text, I'm kinda confused right now so bear with me. Ok, so when I was younger you might say I had a very geeky kind of life, computer games, science fiction, not so good at sports and very intellectual (which I still am). I didn't really mind this all that much until I became a teenager, well more around when I was 16. I had this big fight with my two (only) friends and things went sour. I must admit I wasn't very careful with them, didn't realize the importance of friendship. I ended up being alone for a whole year. You couldn't imagined how shamed I was, the shame, it was awful, it annihilated what I was, my very being. Even now, six years later, it still hurts, It happened for a reason, but that is one scar I'm having trouble getting rid of. I don't think I ever will actually. I guess that's one thing about life, the older you get, the better you have to manage your past. That's probably what they called wisdom, learning from your past instead of moaning about it. Well, that's my definition of wisdom at the very least. I've got trouble accepting that such a thing happened to me, to me. I was so popular when I was younger. I know I've got a leader kind of personnality and a positive leader too, but it just doesn't seem to work all that much. Some of you will wonder If I've had made the effort. And, as god is my witness, I have, I'm even taking freaking singing lessons, does this give you any indication of how desperate I am? I just don't know what to say to other people. Most of the time I get around ok just by asking question about other people's life (although this doesn't interest me very much most of the time). This is going to sound crazy, but sometimes I question the very point of oral communication. Honest! I keep hearing people rambling about how their life partner did this or that, ahh, I don't have any example, but really what I mostly hear lacks complete wit and interest, to my ears at least. I honestly wouldn't mind being mute. I don't think I would miss talking all that much. If only you could just pick up women with telepathy lol! Ok, where was I? Yeah, I left my girlfriend a month ago and we'd been together for a year. It was a big change for me, well not really. Just one more piece of information I wanted to add to thisn novel. I'm living in this appartment, next to the university and IT'S SOOO NOISY! The best sleep I can get is about 3 hours an night top. I'm not kidding! I can almost hear the neighbour touching himself in the shower Also, my curtains are broken any the owner of the place just won't come to fix it, so If noises don't wake me up at 4h00, the sun will. It's also very humid and there's so much water pressure I often worry about my genitals being wounded by the shower spray, I know this may sound funny but I'm so fed up with this joint. Ok on, to my main problem, as I was saying I would enjoy being social but the only thing I can say is jokes. People think I'm very funny but at the end of the day, I still feel kinda empty inside. I'm studying to become a social worker so there's only women, I'm one of the only guy. I know, some guys are going to say, wow cool. And it is at first. You look at all those sexy ladies, but I'm kinda baffled as to what to say to them really. You what's funny in all this, I'm handsome (or so the girls say), funny, mature and intelligent but I'm friendless. Does this make sense to anyone? I'm not even self centered! I'm not perfect, but shouldn't this be enough to at least please some part of the population. I like to have intellgient conversation, funny ones about life and such. I have interest in almost everything except for women underwear which I think Is fair enough. You know I'm standing here in front of my computer, smiling. It's kind of like it's a bane to be intelligent or mature. I'm not a genious, but I'm fairly intelligent and very mature. I don't like bitching about people, yet everyone does it. Am I supppose to destroy other people's self esteem to go anywhere. No. Ok, I'm at university and people are still making jokes as to how the teachers dress! I feel like I'm from some other planet. 0X Where can I find someone remotely intelligent in this god forsaken town. It's the town with the most suicides in canada!! Told you it was creepy. I'm not complaining about my situation, I just find life absurd at the moment. I've trouble with my confidence because I can't identifiy myself to anyone else! I kind of get the feeling it's easier if your dumb and self-centered honest. You don't have to worry about others and can just concentrate to use others to obtain what you wish for. As for women, they look me weird when i try to seduce them verbally. I think here the custom is to lift the skirt and start banging away. According to some records, this town also has a very high incestual reproduction rate. Maybe this has something to do about this, maybe not. Oh yeah, nobody reads anything! Not even the newspaper! I thought it was a joke at first but it's very true I swear. I'm not making any of this up. Ok, if you could just tell me if I'm normal, please, I need something from the real world. This place is alien, completely alien. Yours, Etienne, aka OmegaMan

I for one believe this is a very good suggestion. I would strongly suggest to follow this suggestion. Etienne EDIT: I realise what I said wasn't very helpful. I completely understand how you feel. I don't mind speaking to ok women, but when they're gorgeous I'm lost for words really. I believe the worst thing you can do I being obsessed about breaking the silence. I realize the more you force things the worse it goes. I believe things should go naturally if you're relaxed. Try not to focus on the fact that you don't have anyting to say, and once you're calm things will just pop into your mind. Good luck!