strawberrywine

thanks that helps a whole bunch. I agree, he prolly just wants to look at the "rude parts" ;-) and not actually the girl as a whole. Anyways, thanks.

Thanks for all help. He doesn't look at it anymore. My problem is that after only a week into our relationship he was getting off to other women.

About a month ago I found porn websites on my boyfriends computer. We talked about it and I told him how bad it made me feel, he decided on his own to give it up. The thing is, when we talked about it he said "it's not like I jacked off to it or anything." So that made me feel better. Then yesterday we were talking about it again, and he told me he had jacked off to it once maybe a week after we started going out. This actually hurts much worse. I feel like that soon into the relationship he shouldn't even be thinking about other girls, much less getting off to them naked. I know I can't end the relationship over this, but I don't know how to get passed it. I just can't stop thinking about it. I have terrible problems with anxiety and OCD already. He is a great guy though, I know that he really loves me. Please can someone help?

First of all, I'm 17. There's a guy I've been talking to for a few months..and I have completely fallen for him. The thing is, he is very shy..he's never had a girlfriend. Sometimes I really think he feels the same, but he makes no effort to be with me. Is this because he's shy, or he doesn't care? Is there anyway to give him a push? thanks for any help.

This may be a tad lengthy/confusing...but I really could use some help so please read! I will try to clear up anything that does make sense.. My ex and I have been broken up for about 4 months. I wrote him a letter a few weeks after the breakup, but got no response. Other than that there has been no contact. We do not even look at each other in the hall ways at school, and I am fine with that. But a few nights ago he came online (he never comes online) and stayed for about 20 minutes. Then the next night I was away from the computer for a couple hours and I come back to find an IM from a s/n I had never seen before. But before I could ask who it was, they had signed off. So the night after that (last night) the s/n was online so I asked who it was. They pretended not to know me..but I found out it was him because of his IP address. So I humored him for about a half hour and pretended I didn't know who it was. Then at the end of the convo I told him I knew it was him and that I didn't appreciate him talking about me behind my back (I had found out he told some people things about me) and instead of apologizing he says "LOL" and was just a total ass. So I said something pretty mean about him and he did the same. He even came online today and we continued to make fun of each other in a very cruel way until I blocked him. So I guess I just want people's oppinions. Why would he do this? I know I was wrong to even talk to him. Shame on me...but I feel like crap now. Thanks for reading ... comments/oppinions appreciated!

thank you both. You're right, he would be very tired. He goes from school to football practice for 2.5 hours then to work for like 4 hours. The thing I'm wondering is..at the end of the note I wrote please call me..so shouldn't he take the initiative if he's interested in getting back together?

After being broken up for over a month and not talking in about 3.5 weeks, I wrote my ex a letter. It pretty much told him how sorry I was for treating him badly and that I wanted to make it up to him, how much I love him, miss him, and that I want to get back together. Then at the end I wrote please call me. Well I didn't see him all day so I didn't know when to give it to him, so I had a friend get it to him. I talked to him the next day and I said "Hey did you get my note?" and he said "yeah, why didnt you just give it to me?" and I said "I didn't see you." and he said "oh" and then I asked if I could call him and he said "I'm not home tonight, I have to work." Then I said OK and walked away (we were in the busy hallway at school) He usually gets home from work late (9:45ish), and we have to wake up for school at 5:30 a.m. I don't know if he truly couldn't call me after work that night because he'd be tired, or if he just doesn't want to talk to me. What could this mean?

Call him! You are the bigger person. Just because he didn't call you doesn't mean you can't call him.

Thanks to all the responses. I'm going to try to talk to him, just to try to be his friend. It's hard though, I just don't think I could call him, and I don't see him all that much in school, just in the busy hallways. I guess if I get the opportunity I'll take it. Thanks everyone. All advice is welcome.

Thanks Mar. He broke up with me, not in a very nice way either. I had been fighting with him a lot, and he had just been doing a lot to irritate me. Finally he blew up at me and ended it. Like I said though, we were friendly after the breakup until I started ignoring him. I know that I hurt him and I feel really bad about that. So should I just start being friendly to him again?

My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago, and at first when I would see him at school I would smile and wave, but then I started ignoring him completely. I would walk right by him and not even look at him. We didn't have a very nice break, so I was hurt. I guess I should have either ignored him right after the breakup or just kept beings friends with him, but I guess I wanted to make him miss me. Anyway, I decided to say hello to him Friday. He said hey back and asked me what was up but he seemed like he'd rather be anywhere than there talking to me. I think I really hurt him by ignoring him, but I don't know what to do now. He hates me and he'll never want me back now. Any advice? Thanks.

Hey reborn. That story really helped me out in a lot of ways. I guess it really is true that time heals all wounds, huh? I know exactly what you mean, that the person you knew is dead. I feel the same way. I guess people are just built to change, and thereforeeeee relationships change too. How long did the two of you date for? I'm really sorry to hear that it ended, but if it's meant to be it will be, and if not that you will find someone else. I should probably take me own advice though. I don't know if I read it here or on another website but someone said, "there are 9 billion people in this world, sometimes relationships just don't work out." I guess it means there will be lots of people in your life, some compatible with you, some not. Sometimes they change for the better, sometimes for the worse. You just have to hang in there, a couple more months and I'm sure you'll be out of the woods.

Well we dated for 8 months, and he told me all the things he was going to do for me for my birthday. He even had a surprise planned Now we're broken up and haven't spoken in about a month, until today I made small talk with him. Do you think he'll call to say happy birthday?

thanks hurtntime. I talked to him today at school...just "hey" and "whats up" type stuff. He seemed like he didn't care to talk to me. I've been totally ignoring him for about a week, passing by him without saying hello and I think I hurt him.

thanks reborn..your response helps a lot. I'm feeling like crap. My birthday is on saturday and I don't even think he will call. My eyes are watering typing that, but we pretty much just ignore each other so I don't know why he would call. It feels like we don't even know each other anymore; anyone else feel that way? I mean I want to talk to him but he feels like a stranger..maybe it's better this way. Oh well. This forum has been great.

I'm going through the same thing..Broke up one month ago haven't spoken a word in 3.5 weeks. How long did you guys date? The only advice I can give you is, if you see him alone without his girlfriend just walk up to him and say hi...start talking from there. Or, you could call him? Whatever you decide, make sure you're doing it out of love rather than loneliness.

I agree this girl has serious mental issues. She's probably so depressed right now she doesn't know what she's doing. I don't know if contacting her would be a good idea or not..One side of me is thinking that she really NEEDS you to come after her right now, but the other side thinks that she has no excuse to treat you this way. What do you think?

I don't think this girl has any right to treat you this way...you had a job interview that was important to you, so you wanted to be completely prepared.. Why doesn't she care enough about you to understand that? And then she has the nerve to be upset when you are 45 minutes late picking her up... It sounds to me that she really doesn't care, and she's taking advantage of the fact that you're in love with her and you'll always come back to her. I really wouldn't chase her because even if she does come back she knows she has you whipped, and she can treat you however she wants and you'll come back. You said that all the little things were all your fault. Think about all the little arguments..were they REALLY your fault? Is that reasonable to say she was completely perfect and you were the big screw up? I think maybe your love for her has you a bit brainwashed.. I would suggest you stop contacting her. Make her see that you are fine without her and you won't always run back to her.

I do want him back, I think. But obviously he doesn't care for me. Thanks for the advice

My ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago today. We have only spoken once since, and that was at school, a week after the breakup. I gave him a note, but he didn't respond. We have smiled at each other or waved, but no conversation. I have not called him nor has he called me. What is going on? Should it take this long to start talking again?

If you really want this girl back, ignore her. If you keep talking to her she's not going to miss you, she's having her cake and eating it too. From a female standpoint, I believe this girl wants to be free to see what's out there..but she wants to keep you around just in case, so she leads you on with the emails. Please don't chase her..it's obviously your decision but by begging her to come back to you she'll never appreciate and respect you, even if she does come back. I know it's hard, I'm going through the same thing right now..but you just can't beg her. SHE should be begging YOU!! She should be realizing that NO guy will treat her how you did, and NO guy will put up with what you're putting up with. Just ignore her for a week and see what happens.

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it. How should I go about talking to him? It feels weird..we haven't talked in like 3 weeks and I feel like I don't even know him anymore. Any help?

I apologize in advance if this is long, but I would really appreciate some advice and I don't want to leave out any details.. My (ex) boyfriend and I broke up almost a month ago. We had been fighting a lot, I think because I'm insecure and uptight and he's just too laid back. One night we got into a stupid fight (I started), and I told him I wanted to re-think the relationship, and to call me the next day. He did, and I told him I didn't want to break up. Well, we ended up getting into it and he said "If you keep starting fights it's over" and I said "If you ever call me a b**** again it's over." Then later in the argument I said something to irritate him and he said "you know what, you're a B****! Are you happy? It's over!" and then I said "well I'll talk to you later" and hung up. About a week later I wrote him a note and gave it to him in school. It pretty much told him how sorry I was and that I would wait for him if he needed time to think about things, and that I love him. It's been a couple weeks since I wrote that note, and he hasn't responded. He'll smile at me and wave if I see him in the hall, but he hasn't talked to me about anything. All of this is tearing me up. I don't think he really wanted to break up, I think I pushed him to it, and he did it out of anger. I have been ignoring him for the last 3 days, in an effort to get him to miss me and possibly come back to me..but it hasn't worked so far. We are both 17, dated for 8 months (known each other a year) and were very much in love. I miss him so much..I want to talk to him, but I don't know what to say, or how to go about it. I don't want to bother him, as I'm sure he had his reasons for not responding to my letter. Thank you for reading, if you made it this far. I would really appreciate any advice/oppinions. Thank you!