Capricorn3

OP, After reading all your posts, each one gets worse than the last which makes me struggle to understand why you haven't ended this "relationship" yet? 😕 Why are you still hanging on when it's clear you have zero respect for this guy. Sounds like you don't even like him at all. You don't want to live with him, that's fine. You don't have to. Just let him go already.

It sounds to me like he liked you and then it all backfired when you got all jealous at the mention of another girl and then rejected him when he asked you out. He must be feeling really confused right now. Are you usually a very jealous person in general? Jealousy can make people overreact about the smallest thing. That's something to work on.

You don't mention the cause of the weight gain. Is it just bad habits? What have you done about healthier eating/exercise habits? Have you tried diets? Perhaps a good starting point is to see a dietician. Follow up with joining a gym, swimming, or jogging etc etc. Once you lose the weight you gain confidence, feel better about yourself etc, which can make a huge change to your life.

Thank you. Yes, I saw that but it was so vague. Hopefully he'll clarify for us.

Thread already exists. Please continue on in your previous thread of the same topic. Thread closed.

Have you considered counseling/therapy? Sounds like you need some professional help.

Going by what you describe above, you need to ask yourself if this is how you want to live the rest of your life? (I would pack my bags and head in the opposite direction). Life is too short and being unhappy for the next 40 years? No. This man sounds totally emotionally unavailable.

OP, while all your gestures are really sweet and thoughtful, be very careful not to reach overkill - it gets to the point of being suffocating (imo).

OP, what you describe sounds more like friends (with occasional FWB on the side). I would suggest you sit down and make a list of pros and cons for yourself - see how many pros you have compared to all the cons. I have a feeling you'll have a very long list of negatives. That alone should give you an over all picture of where this "relationship" stands. If HE wants more than just being friends, you're not the woman for him. TOTALLY incompatible. Let him go and then live the life you want to - which btw, absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact, kudos to you for recognizing that you prefer not living with a man and prefer your own place with your kids. It might not lend itself well to finding a life partner though, but not everyone needs or wants a life partner anyway.

OP, the more information you share about this guy, the more difficult it is to understand WHY you are with him in the first place?? 😕 It doesn't make any sense at all. It is clear you two have nothing in common at all, in any way, shape or form. I don't get why you two are together in the first place. Do both of you a great big favor and end it, so that you are both free to do as you please and free to find someone more compatible. There's really no point carrying on with things the way they stand right now.

Like I said before - totally incompatible (imo).

All I see is major incompatibility. OP, maybe time to review/reassess this relationship? It seems to me you both would be better off parting ways.

Thread has run its course.

Ok, so ....... for the past two years I thought someone was female ........... Turns out it's a dude, lol 😳

Why not just block? Why not get rid of his number? YOU are in control and you have the power in your own hands. No excuses. Reaching out to him again - that's on you. Why would you want to be involved with a "sleeze bag" in the first place? Again, your choice, so you can't put the blame on him (imo)..

What was her response when you told her about your anxiety/behavior?

I need snow, lots and lots of snow ........❄️☃️ I wish. 😕

Super ick factor x 10.

I agree with Batya33. This guy seems to be all over the place, and none of it in a good way. I can't help but feel you can do so much better. Five years in and it doesn't look like it's heading to happier times (sorry). Add to that, the biggest factor here is lack of trust - without trust you have nothing. I would make a clean break, once and for all. Take time off to grieve and then look for local people to date.

Sure, in part I agree. I was just covering the overall picture of all her threads about this crush and putting it all together, I am sure he knows she's crushing on him, but shows no interest (imo).

I think he knows you like him but sadly, I don't think he's interested (sorry). I think if he was interested he would have sent you friendly messages by now, showing interest of some kind, (imo).

Please, don't EVER feel ashamed. Of course when you keep everything inside it IS very draining, but even worse, it eventually leads to ill health, both mentally and physically. You are at that point now and clearly, you need outside help now (imo). Please don't feel ashamed. Therapists are there to help. They are trained professionals and do not share confidential information (as far as I am aware). Please seek help a.s.a.p.

I'm also interested to hear more about the above ^ And what exactly are these mistakes he keeps making?

OP, I'm really sorry that you're in such a dark and bad place. It's heartbreaking. I would say you need urgent counseling/therapy so please do all you can to get professional help. Start off by seeing a physician for a general check-up and get a referral to see a psychologist (or whatever). I agree with boltnrun above - most universities have a counseling center or a social worker. Please see what your university has to offer. I wish you well.

Dumb question here but, is he still on his trip? Has he been home for the last five days?