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snowchild

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Everything posted by snowchild

  1. snowchild
    Just so that you know, I totally agree that sex is important but it's not everything. A relationship needs to be as complete as possible but going without intimacy is not good, just as having intimacy but not sharing anything else is not good. I can't see her sex drive changing any time soon. It's been in decline for a couple of years and now it's hit rock bottom. I don't expect anything to change after the marriage because I see marriage as a continuation of an existing relationship, not something totally different (though it will be different in some ways). If the wedding is called off then the relationship is over permanently. I've tried keeping at the relationship but I just don't know what to do anymore to make it work. That's got to come from her because she is the one with the sex drive problem. The sex therapist just got us to try gradually increasing the physical contact each week but it didn't work as she couldn't even do that. The therapist also said that without sex there is nothing to keep us together and I totally agree. No matter how much you love someone, if you can't be intimate with them then a long term relationship is not possible. To be quite honest, most men would have left long ago if they were in my situation. But I'm not most men. If things don't work out soon then I'm jiggered. I just don't see myself having any reason to carry on anymore.
  2. snowchild
    asmodai, thanks, that is good advice. You are right, it IS tough. I know that a relationship shouldn't have to rely on sex alone but it IS an important part of a loving relationship. If we were having physical contact as well as the relationship we already have then it would be as close to perfect as you can get. It really is the only thing missing in the relationship. However, I don't want to get married to her if it's going to stay like this forever because it just won't work. I just don't know how much longer I can take this and I don't know how much longer I should wait. I've been waiting patiently for years and it doesn't get any better. It actually feels like I'm being punished for something, it's weird.
  3. snowchild
    We've tried a sex therapist but that didn't suit. The doctor doesn't seem to know what to do either. I think it's probably a bit of both (psychological and physiological) but the longer it goes on the harder it becomes for me. We otherwise get on great and love each other to bits but it gets to a point where I have to surpress my feelings and that's not good at all. Personally I think she knows the psychological problem but just isn't telling me. I have a rough idea what it is but talking about the problem doesn't help because she gets upset very easily. I don't think she understands or appreciates how this is affecting me at all even though I've told her. She just wants me to cope with the situation but I think that's not fair on me or the relationship.
  4. snowchild
    Well it's certainly doing us no favors. Trouble is, we don't know what's causing her lack of desire, it used to be ok, now it's down to zero, literally.
  5. snowchild
    I'm supposed to be getting married soon but my fiance has no sex drive and it's ruining the relationship again. We've split up once before due to this problem and now it's back again. It's been over 2 months since we last made love and over 1 month since we did *anything* physical. There is simply no passion in the relationship on her part yet I continually feel attracted and passionate but have to basically surpress my desires because of the friction it causes. This is tearing me up inside because of how much I love her and I feel that if things carry on then we won't be together for much longer. We've tried everything but nothing works. I can't even remember the last time we snogged and we are supposed to be getting married. Has anyone had a similar experience? What should I do?
  6. snowchild
    Like most teenagers I really enjoyed masturbation and used various materials and had amazing orgasms. Now I'm a bit older, masturbating doesn't seem to bring the same pleasure. (Perhaps I shouldn't have had sex!). I want to get back into masturbation but am finding it difficult. I tend to rush it, the orgasms aren't quite as good as they used to be and I don't use the, er, same materials for masturbation, I normally use only my hand. Does anyone else have the same experience? How did you regain the lost pleasure and art of self love?
  7. snowchild
    There is nothing more satisfying than giving the woman you love extreme pleasure. Expect nothing in return except satisfaction and you will get more than you can ever hope for.
  8. snowchild
    She gave me her information on her card. I did email her previously to ask to meet up again at the job centre for some help and she gave me her number then too. The 'meeting' we did have was really relaxed and we both flirted with each other. I was pretty sure she was interested in me. I've looked at all the angles which is why I am asking for extra help here! I think I agree. A phone call is a definite no no, and so is asking her out in an email. I just want to test the waters, perhaps drop a hint that I am interested in meeting her again and see how it goes. I've got nothing to lose and if it goes belly up then I probably will never see her again anyway! Thanks.
  9. snowchild
    I want to ask a girl on a date. Trouble is, I won't be seeing her in person to ask her out. It's either by phone or email. I met her when she gave me some professional advice in the local job centre. We flirted and I missed my opportunity to ask her out. I was hoping to go back and do it later but she's moved to a different branch. The trouble is that it's been a while (4 weeks at least) since I saw her last so I was wonder if this is too long to wait to ask someone out? I think I might drop her an email (the cowards way) and gently ask her out. What do you think?
  10. snowchild
    Thanks Rain533, you are dead right. I've been putting this off for too long. I'll let you know how things go!
  11. snowchild
    As the logo says - You're not alone I've only ever had 1 girlfriend (I'm 27) and this relationship is dying. When it's over I can't see myself getting another girl but that's just my pessimism. I know that if I get out enough, and make the time, then I will meet new women and friends. May I suggest that you join a club in the evenings or weekends and make the time. Try not to dwell on your lonliness as that will make it seem bigger than it really is. Keep telling yourself positive things and if you ever think 'I'll never have a girlfriend' then immediately think 'that's stupid, of course I will get one if I make time to meet more people and do X, Y and Z'. It will uplift your spirits and give you motivation. Don't give up, it will happen.
  12. snowchild
    I had my first girlfriend at 23 so don't worry, or rather, direct your worry into positive action. Similar to how my situation was. I had no confidence with women. I saw them as some mystical beings rather than ordinary people. I could not even utter a word to a girl without blushing up until about when I was 22. Then I just took the plunge and started working at it. No, we won't hate you and it might help us to understand where you are coming from! If you want to PM me feel free.
  13. snowchild
    She knew I liked her. I got her brother to ask her out for me, twice. I can't enjoy life at the moment for various reasons. I've waited for love and it's not arrived. I can't wait much longer. She was cute, gorgeously cute, I liked her looks, she was kind, funny, interesting. It was love at first sight and improved as time went on. I don't have her number or email and don't know where she lives. I tried enough when I was around her but that didn't work. Now I'm a different person maybe she will want to at least try, as long as she isn't married, dead or out of the country. Sometimes I feel like I can't live without her and am desperately sad for not having the chance. Why is life so cruel to me?
  14. snowchild
    I'm 27. When I was 13 I fell madly in love with a girl who lived just down the road but went to a different school and was about 3 months younger than me. For various reasons she wasn't attracted to me. We were both shy and I was introverted and a bit weird. I tried for years because I had that gorgeous feeling of being madly in love. I could not get her out of my head and would have died for her, literally. I tried to move on an managed to get a girlfriend at the age of 23. I put this girl out of my mind for a few years but now the thoughts of the missed love have come back. I feel like I don't want to be with anyone else and that she is the only one for me. The last contact I had with her was when I was in university. I got hold of her email address and send her an email, she replied.....once. I would love to contact her again but don't know if it's the right thing to do. She could be married and that would hurt bad. Also, it's a little weird being contacted by someone who fancied you 13 years ago. I don't know what to do. I feel lost without her even though we never dated. I don't think I can feel this way about anyone ever again so this is my only chance. What do I do?
  15. snowchild
    I was just wondering if anyone actually pays for online dating services? I've joined a few but never upgraded my subscription as they are all extortionately priced. How much would you be willing to pay for online dating services?
  16. snowchild
    It started off fairly physical but there's never been a lot of sex. Over the last 19 months there has been very little physical interaction between us and I am usually the person to try starting something physical. We have been to a therapist and she was good but my gf didn't like it so we stopped. My gf doesn't know why she has no desire and I've been very patient but it's got to the stage where it has damaged my feelings for her because I've not been able to get close to her. My feelings just seemed to drain away and it's more of a close friendship than a loving relationship. She says she loves me and would be devastated if I left but I can't take any more and there's no sign of improvement. I'm not in a relationship for sex but without some kind of physical closeness there's nothing to keep us together.
  17. snowchild
    After 3 years it's at an end. She wants it to carry on but as there is no physical side to our relationship (nothing whatsoever) I want to end it and was wondering if anyone has any bright ideas?
  18. snowchild
    Thanks for everyone's uplifting comments. You are all right, of course. I just need to go out there, be confident and the right girl will arrive and my minor insecurities (they used to be huge when I was younger but that's another story!) will fade away.
  19. snowchild
    Brief background. I'm currently 27 in a 3 year relationship which will end soon. I used to be really shy but I've come a long way and could easily start talking to a nice girl whereas a few years ago I couldn't even phone a total stranger. The trouble is that I've got no confidence in my looks and by that I mean my face. I dress attractively (smart-casual) so that's not a problem. I'm just really worried that I don't have the looks to get a nice girl. Sometimes I can look in the mirror and think I look handsome and other times I think I'm the ugliest person alive! I want to get back into dating and this is the one obstacle in my way. Help please!
  20. snowchild
    Where are you measuring from? 7" is pretty big! Do you mean the 4 skin? Don't worry, it will happen one day. Try and get her to wax off her pubic hair or at least trim it for you. Oh, and try not to be squeemish, it's not that bad as long as it's clean and doesn't smell. It's nice to get messy sometimes. I'm sure she's had an orgasm through self-masturbation. It's hard to give a woman an orgasm through normal sex so masturbation and oral are the ways to go. You need to just work at it until you can do it the whole way through. If I can be of any more help then let me know!
  21. snowchild
    Did you get married too soon? Have you been for therapy? Lack of sex in a relationship causes damage. Period. It is damaging my current relationship to the point of no return. There are many reasons for lack of desire but sometimes (as in the case of my gf) they are not understood or resolved. The amount of damage this has caused my relationship of 3 years is immesurable. We've been to therapy but my gf didn't want to continue with it. She doesn't want sex, she doesn't even like it if I kiss her sometimes. My relationship is at an end because of it. If you are serious about your marriage (sounds like you are) then you need to get this sorted ASAP as resentment will soon build up in you and your feelings will be damaged. In fact, I can see it already has as you are thinking of rejecting her next advance (been there done that). Both of you need to know that this is a serious problem, especially after only 1 year of marriage. Therapy is probably a thing you should think about suggesting at this point.
  22. snowchild
    The simple answer is that orgasms are different every time. There are many factors which influence the quality of your orgasm. Stress, tiredness, hunger (really!), length of foreplay, desire etc. Basically, don't worry, it's perfectly normal!
  23. snowchild
    Life is way too short so why wait for someone who may never come along? I fell head over heels in love at the age of 13 and tried for 10 years to get this girl to go out with me. It never happened. In the meantime I didn't feel like going out with anyone else because I knew she was the one for me. I wasted a lot of time where I could have been gaining experience and having fun at the same time. And let's face it, sex is fun and life is short. I totally regret not having sex a couple of years before I started but various factors mean I couldn't. Now I've been with a girl for 3 years and she's gone off sex. The relationship is crap and I'm going to dump her. I can't wait around forever, I'm not getting younger and while I'm still under 30 I want to have sex, plain and simple. Don't get me wrong, I am still looking for the right person and can't wait for that feeling again but I still don't want to save myself because it's not worth it.
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