Sup2

Cutting happens for one reason, and one reason only... your past.

Sounds like you're dreading the day itself, which means either one of four things... 1.) You had a wonderful valentines day in the past at some point, and can't believe that it isn't very good now 2.) You've never had a good valentines day, and can't believe that this one is turning out like all the others 3.) You have a date for valentines day, but don't know what to expect 4.) You've had a valentines day in the past that was supposed to be great, but instead it was terrible, or was only mediocre.... at this point, you don't have date and are trying to figure out the point... or else you do have a current date, that you're not very thrilled about, and are wondering what the hell the point is. If any of this is on the mark, please respond. If not, sorry for wasting your time. : )

I would say that winking is a mild form of flirting 100% of the time. I've maybe winked at two or three different women around my job in the last two or three years, and of the ones I can remember, each one of them is one I would find attractive. I wouldn't read into it too much though, as the flirtation of winking in passing only lasts for a few seconds. Most of the time, I discover that the woman I wink at eventually winks back at me in passing at some point, either days or weeks later. Never goes anywhere of course, but there's a defininte split second connection most of the time.

Try it. 9 times out of ten, saying you love someone to someone else illicits a wonderful response. The first time I actually uttered the words, I was incredibly surprised to get them right back. I did mean it though.

Just hang with us for a while. People who are here have been through some fire themselves. That's what makes this place comforting. I'd bet you'll find substance here.

Sorry if it hurts, but it's the truth. She spends the time with you because there's no one else to spend it with. --Post Edited by Secret_Agent_Man, 7/27/03--

Your missing the point here my friend. You have to know what you want. If you want her, she's looking for you to make a move - probably a somewhat bold one. However, if you do it without confidence, she'll smell it a mile off. Gathering from your post, you a.) have little or no confidence and b.) this girl definitely likes you "now". If too much time passes under the current situation the best you'll end up being to her is a "friend". This is a sucky position, as she'll be long gone the minute she finds a man. In short: there is a really good chance of you screwing this up if you really like this girl, yet there is also tons of good stuff going on here. If you really want her, be a man about it. Approach her directly, confidently. Make clear your intentions without saying anything outloud. Show bold interest... then caring and concern (in that order). The golden rule is, don't be a dick... just be a man. Lastly, be funny, but in only your own way. It's a gift from God & she'll appreciate that.

2 things in my (humble) opinion: 1.) He might marry you but can't believe he's already living with you... can't quit come to grips with the fact that this is supposed to be the last woman he's supposed to have sex with. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you. 2.) He wants out or is already cheating on you.

Yeah - maybe join a sewing circle too.

Let's not kill the friend too quickly. He may be the better man here. Chances are, he's been fond of you long before your "bf". Just my 2p.

Is he playing the friendship thing or the "helpless man game"? He may not know what is important to you... probably cutting off his own sexuality in order to appear less threatening to you.

If you're up front with her about it (have the proof nearby), you should know what you want before you confront her. There are very good chances that, if you confront her & she stays with you, she really will stay with you faithfully from here on. She has to internalize that you'd really leave this time though. A good friend of mine went through this exact same thing about 7 years ago... and things turned out well.

Enjoy the attention they give... just don't overlook the guys who aren't overconfident. What you have will always be desireable in this society. If it goes to your head though, it will show.

believe me - Guys have the same question. Here's how I know a girl is flirting with me or is interested in something I've said: * prolonged eye contact - especially with a friend * when a girl drapes her arm or hand on me after any kind of physical contact like hugging or laughing together * when a girl calls me really late at night, early in the morning, or when I've just arrived in the city in a different time zone * when a strange compliment comes out of no where, like, "wow I really like that cologne (or whatever) and it's 7 in the morning or something * when I get a page from a female co worker to meet after work - albeit a lunch or happy hour. * when I work side by side with a woman for any period of time & the work is really grueling - there's almost always some mutual attraction at these times Just my 2cents.

3 things happened. 1.) She really, really liked you... maybe even loved you 2.) She realized, either by the way you were acting or by the way things were going, that "this could be it" 3.) She made a choice. The sequence is usually a thing that happens to women, but it happens to men very, very often. When a person flees - it's best for them to run as far away as possible. The more they love you - the farther they flee. The irony is that these are generally the people come back later when you've forgotten them.