Evilphil

Your personality can mean disaster for someone not prepared. I digress to ask your age, but I'm fairly sure you're younger than me Anyways, DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIS FRIEND NOW OR LATER! Have respect for the love that you have given your boy, and don't trample his heart. If ALL you need is dirty talk, then you'll have to sit down and have a heart to heart with him about it. It's not all about what you say, it's in how you say it, and how he UNDERSTANDS it. Make sure this is done now, and you'll alleviate future recurrances (you may have to remind him every now and again, but don't make a big issue out of it). If he can't handle it, then it's something he is not willing to work on, or you just need to find someone better suited for you... NOT HIS MATE!!!

Sounds like she has no idea what she wants. Or worse, she does know, and it's to gratify only herself. Sorry to hear it. That's a tough gig.

I've got similar issues... I get jealous and insecure when my girl talks to other guys, even if they're just customers at the restaurant where she works. I guess we have to understand that there is a certain amount of flirting that EVERYONE does that they don't realize. This is only bad for someone that doesn't tolerate any of that like you or I. To move on... She should have come to you and told you that before talking to him. It puts your boyfriend in an awkward situation because even if it does make you uncomfortable (and it does), what does he say? Would he make you look like an insecure bitch, or would he pretend that you were cool with it. Either way is unsatisfactory. Lemme ask you this... At the very beginning of your relationship, were you jealous if other girls would talk to him, or were you just happy that he was able to spend time with you?

It takes alot to truly understand yourself, and be able to work out the little flaws we all have. Anyone willing to admit it has seen just how difficult it is. I know the rules of the relationship, but I don't think what I bring to the table currently is enough to suffice. I talk about everything good or bad emotionally, but am too often driven by my insecurities. To answer my own question, I am prolly not ready for a real relationship, but I seem to be in one, and give everything I have to try to make it work for both of us.

Interesting to see your reply to that question... So I guess you answered your own advice request from the other post... It's not easy to admit, but I think you're on to something.

I'm sorry you're in such a volitile situation. What you have to understand about him is that he truly hasn't dedicated enough time to himself to figure out who he is and what he wants. This is not uncommon, but offers little help in the way of advice. The problem isn't you though. Things you say to him he may see as you trying to control him. If you care about him that much, you'll have to decide if it is better for you to be with him and possibly take such lack of emotion from him, or give him his space to figure out what he wants. It is a longshot that he'll come back if you give him space, unless he figures out who he is before making a rash decision.

How many of you think that you understand your own feelings, and are truly ready for (not just in need of) a relationship?

Well, when she was about 15, she was raped by a so-called friend. Before that, her father was killed when she was 12, and for three weeks, didn't talk to anyone. I assume this is how she adopted the behavior of not talking, and letting time pass.

rule no. 1 Communication is key. If he is not ready to admit to himself that he still had feelings for his ex, then how can he admit that to you. With this reasoning, he wasn't telling you the truth. With that in mind, trust becomes an issue, and now the ultimate thing has happened. Where does your trust lie now?

How bout this... Chicks like it when you listen to them, and seem interested. Start by asking her questions (music is generally a good topic)... Find out her favorite band, and why she likes them. Keep this going until she begins to ramble on about other things too. Just keep asking her questions (courteously) and replying with interest. This will generally open things up. She will eventually ask questions also, and you'll be all set. If there is a concert locally where you're at that she might like, ask her if she'd be "interested" in going with you. Good luck, and be confident. Now you have a gameplan.