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Blizzard

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  1. Blizzard
    Hi guys, Well, there has been alot of tears but I now feel really odd Most of the time I actually feel ok and saying to myself it will get better and I will be happy. It's that odd moment I cry and think I'll never see my husband again. I've dealt with so much these last few days, and getting all the important stuff under control and dealt with. What does this mean? To think I'll be ok so quickly? Am I saying I know it's over deep down I'm so frightened I'll be left alone, so I guess that's a problem for me, to learn to love myself and like my own company...I guess no-one will love me if I push them away with signals I'm not good enough! Blizzard x
  2. Blizzard
    Thanks guys, I'm doing ok, crying alot and a bit pale though. I know it's the right thing but the thought of not having the man I married around, makes me so sad. I'm 33 years old, and too old for another relationship now. The dream of having a family has gone. I have seen hubby, but he came to collect his belongings. How can he walk away from our marriage easily, and not work something out? He just gets in his car and goes. Blizzard x
  3. Blizzard
    Just needing words of comfort.. Just told my little boy, and he was sad because now he has no Daddys left He's laid in bed shouting, 'What can my Daddy do that makes him happy so he can stay with me.' Gosh, this is so painful. Please tell me the pain will stop. Blizzard x
  4. Blizzard
    Blizzard x
  5. Blizzard
    Hi Arwen, Thankyou for your response. My son has Aspergers Syndrome, I'm a typical Mum and discipline my son, but can be very soft. The slightest, 'Mum being soft,' he says I'm not bringing him up right. I try to give my son everything. We only have one income, and he feels that his children should come before my son. I can't work due to depression, but he says that I should get out there and support him, not him - So he can support his own kids. We moved away from his children, not because of them but because of the hassles, he believed and I did, that he would still see them. It didn't work out that way, and he misses them terribly. He feels I'm holding him back from seeing them, and perhaps I feel I'm holding him back too. I feel sad that our situation is preventing his happiness. He feels he wants is old job back as it's more money, he feels he can provide more, he then said that he was going to go back because it's better and if I want to join him up there I can. I feel I can't as I'm making a life here, and no matter where we are, if he loves me he would make it work. I feel I think it's best to let it go one minute and deeply afraid the next. I do know if I say let's make it work here, he'll be miserable and we'll end up hating each other. My son isn't stable, hasn't been for a year and half...All the argueing, not wanting to do anything with him, I can't go on like this. We talked so many times, and said yes we'll change but it's not happening. Blizzard x
  6. Blizzard
    Well, we've lots of obstacles in our marriage, and I tried to work on it. I did not get back the family unit I needed and wanted because my hubby is not happy where we are, financially, MY attitude, and the way I raise my son. He told me IF I change to his way that this relationship will work out He said that his life near his children from a previous marriage is more important to him than making us work. My son lost his Daddy a few months back, and he said he shouldn't be expected to provide for him. I can see his point about being along way from his children, I couldn't be far from my child. He told me that we've had so many problems that he can't see it getting better. Admittingly, we have had alot thrown at us. Obviously, our relationship isn't strong enough to deal with it. His parents will welcome him back anytime but not me, he said it hurts him that he can't be near them. I kind of think it's right one minute/feel positive and the next minute I can't imagine life without him, that something will trigger and make us work? Are these normal feelings? Blizzard x
  7. Blizzard
    Hold on in there honey, it will get better. (Hugs) This man is probably very different than you imagine him to be, and being with him is probably different than you want him to be. Your making him anything you want to be in your head. It's a fantasy, a means of escape. He has perhaps changed his number now and your texting some unknown person. He's not coming honey, it has been months. You have to, for your own sanity, let this man go. Blizzard x
  8. Blizzard
    No, no Studio...When did you text him that? Blizzard x
  9. Blizzard
    I feel the same in my relationship, and I have sinced approached my hubby and told him - He then told me how he felt his needs are not being met. I think if they really do love and care for you, then you'll meet half way on this and respect each other's feelings. Blizzard x
  10. Blizzard
    I was emotionally attaching to another man, I think he had feelings as well, we hugged twice, talked alot, locked eyes.. He realized it was not for him and backed off. He is hostile and won't even talk to me now. This guy did me a favour though, he made me realize that something was missing in my marriage. It was the lack of attention. I approached hubby and said we need to spend more time together...We're working on giving each other's needs. Hell it hurt so much, still does now and again, not being near OM - I pictured him as my partner and everything was perfect! But since hubby and I are working on each other's needs, I picture him as a doormat! I truly don't feel half as I use to. I also know one thing in my mind - Thank the good lord me and OM did not do anything more, because that would've been more confusing and detrimental to my relationship with hubby, the man I love and want to be with. It was a sign to say act on the marriage before it completely goes belly up! Blizzard x
  11. Blizzard
    If there is one thing I have learnt over this last year, it is that you need to communicate and pull together. Without this your going on a downward spiral. Your kids are the parents and you two are the kids. Your at home with them, and you're in control. They need routine, discipline, and the voice of authority. The only way to do this is set guidelines for the kids, but your wife has to be on the same wavelength to do this. Have you told her how you feel? You must. Blizzard x
  12. Blizzard
    Thankyou Beec! We've been doing alot of communicating, and telling each other what we can do for each other to move forward, neither of us really want to give up on our marriage and want glee back again. I am doing the positive steps towards making it better, so far hubby hasn't. I'm giving it time to see if he can come round. Unsure atm if him being down is because of me. See what happens. Blizzard x
  13. Blizzard
    Hello Sweetjade, I saw your post and related to it. I'm at that place now (Hugs) It has to get better, it has to make us stronger. I'm three quarters where you are, and a quarter saying there is something out there. I recall being here in my early 20's thinking there is nothing, but I look back and think, there was good times after this. I'm deeper in issues now, but I/we have to think there will be more good times to come. Good things to come to those who wait. Keep strong Blizzard x
  14. Blizzard
    Hi Beec, It's something we both do. You know something, I think it has helped writing what is happening because I feel it's me... I mean, we've been through a hell of alot...When he's not with me, I see our dreams and goals...When he walks through the door, I see the pain and sadness, I see the down mood and this brings my pain back to me, then it all starts..Wishing there was something what I can be happy with. I think we both tend to analize each other's comments and think that one of us is having a dig about what has happened. I'm at that miserable place where I think I want more than this unhappiness, I want a job, I want to do better for my child, I want to feel we have something instead of looking around me thinking everyone else has it all...I'm stuck because I've tried but not getting anywhere. Blizzard x
  15. Blizzard
    Just to add... This morning I feel like I do every morning... I feel we have something and it's a brand new day at starting again. He's at work atm, the moment he walks in that feeling fades, the arguments kick again. I just so long want to be happier and, have some good fortune come our way to pick us up! Blizzard x
  16. Blizzard
    Thanks for the replies. Blizzard x
  17. Blizzard
    You may have a point.. His first marriage broke down, he adored her very much, she is the mother of his children. He put his heart into it and achieved his dream, but it went pear shaped. She was going out all the time, while he worked all the hours to keep her happy. Apparently, she was ideal and he was very proud of her, couldn't put a foot wrong. She booted him out. He went to Counselling, and when I met him he appeared to be quite a strong man, 2 years after break up we got together. Although, he was always interested in what his ex was upto - He says because of his kids. Blizzard x
  18. Blizzard
    We've been through alot I guess - Do you mean issues with me? If so, he says he does all the time. He tells me he wants to be this way, but I can't be that way and it makes him annoyed. I get low because I fail him. I've said 3 times this week, most in a week - That I think it's best if we move on...But both of us do care for each other. I can see where I want to be with him and vice versa but we're not reaching it. I'm unhappy, I'm low I cannot concentrate on my child - However, I'm not sure if it's because of what we've been through or if it's because I'm not happy with him I'm very low and I'm scared that if I let go, I make a huge mistake. Confused! Blizzard x
  19. Blizzard
    Hey, I kind of liked this other man but did not follow it through and tried working on my marriage. I realised it was an escape and thought better of it. I was in a vulnerable situation and saw this guy through rose tinted glasses. I am trying to rekindle what I felt for him but each day is worse as he constantly picks up faults in the relationship between me and him and, my child and I. He was moody over me buying him some trainers?! It makes me think for heavens sake! He has said that what has happened is all about me, but he must love me to stay with me When I feel positive - ie- do something around the house etc he'll play on his pc all day. When it comes to going out I don't have much interest anymore and, can't wait to get back home. Blizzard x
  20. Blizzard
    Been with my guy nearly 6 years, married 4 years. It has never been easy since the beginning, he still had his ex and his contact with his children to deal with and, I was led to believe it was all sorted out. He hardly took me out, and spent time with me. The only time he was really happy was when his children were visiting. This is the only time my son from another relationship, and my hubby did nice things, the rest of the time will be working and sleeping. Hubby's Mum was ill and blamed us for the illness, the family hounded us for 7 months before threatening court proceedings to evict us, we left before this happened. We both had good jobs and gave them up. We move 2 hours away to be near my family, stayed with a relative who bled us dry. We was made homeless. The local council made things worse for us and wouldn't house us. The person who worked with me got too involved with me and there became an emotional attachment. Huge disagreements took place between us all. Hubby and I briefly split up. Then my childs father died :sad: My child was then diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. I lost two jobs in this period. From hubby's Mum becoming ill onwards has hit us in one year. Our problem is this - Hubby says he loves me but doesn't do anything with me. I try to tell him what I want, he says he'll do it and doesn't. I feel awful for turning to another man, so have tried to communicate with hubby what is going wrong. Hubby thinks I don't love him, have tried to show more towards him but to be honest my feelings for him are not there like they use to be. One minute I feel I do want him the next I don't. He feels logically we should not be together because of what has happened, but his heart is telling him to stay. Just would like to know what people's intake is on this? Reading between the lines, what is happening to us? Blizzard x
  21. Blizzard
    Sorry this thread is old, but I found it and it's the reason why I joined. Two reasons A)Because I can relate to the original poster and B)BeStrongBeHappy, post! BeStrongBeHappy - I have been searching for a while why MM was nice one minute and ignoring me and hostile the next...I could not understand what I had done, I blamed myself. MM reeled me in with calls, texts, hugs...I didn't enjoy the hug and you could tell, the calls and texts was because he was my professional helper, (I was homeless) Never wore a ring, never said he was married.. Even though I did not give back the hug, he still helped after he was no longer supporting me. All against his work rules. It wasn't until he hugged me again and I did give the hug back this time, that he turned cold on me. Could I hell as understand it...I was angry, I felt betrayed. I gave him a few harsh text messages and e-mails.... Now I'm being told by the company he works for I read it all wrong, and to stay the hell away from him! Each time they reply to say backoff, makes me feel more angry because I was a victim. I can seriously relate to the original poster's feelings. (Big hug) I wasn't so harsh on the e-mails, once every six weeks if that, I'm proud I never told him how I feel towards him, (I did fall for him, still do have feelings). I kick myself everytime I e-mail or text him, not to tell him I have feelings, to tell him he was wrong in his job. But boy do I feel crap after doing just that! I pined for him bad, but each day is getting easier, you need a focus. Think of something you really enjoy and put your heart into it. Blizzard x
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