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SadOldMan

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  1. SadOldMan
    I'm not sure if it's 13 or 14 days since we last had any contact. Feeling pretty down at the minute.
  2. SadOldMan
    It's her birthday today. Thought about her too much at work. I did buy her a card and a present. The card is at the old house, unwritten. The gift, I'm wearing. ;-) Regarding the house. I have now cancelled the telephone and gas, as they were in my name. Also, I've booked an appointment with a solicitor for next week. See what advice they give me regarding her paying her share.
  3. SadOldMan
    Day...no idea. I'm steamingly angry at the moment. On Thursday, The next mortgage installment will come out of my account. That'll make £1600 for the 1st three months of the year. And how much has she paid? Uh huh, £0. Also, got the phone bill today after cancelling the telephone line. She'd made loads of calls since the break. A lot to her sister in Australia. I feel like she's been taking the pi55 out of me. Seeking advice tomorrow. Can't go on like this anymore.
  4. SadOldMan
    It's day...erm...I honestly don't know. I do know it's been a bad one. She's been on my mind constantly. I hate it. I have no desire to contact her at all but my mind is going bonkers, putting in scenarios of meetings, talks etc. It's a mad day! ;-) I hate what I'm going through but I still love her to bits. Come on time, do you stuff!!!!!!1111one
  5. SadOldMan
    10 days now since we last spoke? Longest time in 12 years. I still don't feel any need to contact her. I miss her of course, but I am coping far better without her in my life. I saw her in her car today. I didn't feel half as bad as I thought I would. She had a face like thunder. ;-)
  6. SadOldMan
    I found it an unbelievably moving thread.
  7. SadOldMan
    I think it's day 8. Neither of us have tried contacting on another. I don't want to speak to her. I have nothing to say. after 12 years, this is the longest we haven't spoken. We still have some financial things to discuss and get sorted though. I'll deal with those next week.
  8. SadOldMan
    Just got back from my 2nd counseling session. Stupidly, I thought I'd cope better this time. Heh. Came back to my dads. Up to my room. Crying like a child. She told me to create an image of myself when I was about 7 or 8 and give my young self a big hug. I can't get the mental image out of my mind. I want to reach back and say to him "it'll be alright". As for my ex? She's still in the house. She hasn't tried to contact me, nor I her. I did go back after the session to pick up the last of the things I'd left. I also left her a small note to say we need to discuss the mortgage payments etc, and that I'd be in touch.
  9. SadOldMan
    Day 6 Felt really alone and sad all day. I wanted to ring her to discuss the house but I think I'll wait until the weekend. Thoughts about her having 'someone' in the house have being plaguing me. Jealousy. Hmmm, don't like that.
  10. SadOldMan
    OH! I can join in now. It's 5 days since we last spoke. No contact between either of us. I'll have to talk to her regarding the house at some point but that's okay isn't it? ;-)
  11. SadOldMan
    Today, I awoke (I slept at my dads) and thought "nope!, can't do this anymore". So I went back to the house (she wasn't in thankfully) and grabbed all my clothes. All my clothes fitted into a travel suitcase, big bin liner and a rucksack. heh. I feel better. Dad seems fine. It could be a long wait until the house is sold.....but I feel better! ;-)
  12. SadOldMan
    GoldersGreen: Thanks for your words of support. I want closure. Proper closure. Move on to a new place etc. I really do hate all this waiting. Nothing I can do about it though.
  13. SadOldMan
    Oh dear indeed. The rollercoaster just hit the bottom and came off the track. I felt okay for most of last week but yesterday, I started to feel down and today it's got a lot worse. My son flew out to Canada today. He'll be there a minimum of 2 months, maximum of 6. In a way, I'm glad he's out of the way but I feel guilty for feeling that. I'm staying at my dads again. I don't know for how long. I just couldn't face going back into the house again (I did though. I had to pick up my laptop. Was in and out in about 1 minute! ;-) ). As I'm doing a pseudo NC, only talking to her about the house sale, I think she's very angry with me. I'm sensing her drifting further away from now and it's scaring me. I thought I had accepted the fact we were no longer going to be together. Must have been lying to myself. peteypie: Sorry, I haven't got back to you. Soon, okay?
  14. SadOldMan
    Had a few texts from my eldest sister tonight. She was asking how I'm doing etc. I told her what I'd been up to and she replied "Well done for taking control". For some reason, that really moved me. I'm feeling a little better today. Yesterday was awful.
  15. SadOldMan
    Steve316: I feel for you. Most on here are going through similar things your are. My ex (who's still living in the house) told me just after xmas she'd had enough. 7 years living together, 12 years since meeting. We hardly speak. We just exist in a weird limbo word. I don't have any real advice for you. I'm sorry. I found sNotAlone a great comfort to me since I found it. I hope you do too.
  16. SadOldMan
    A down day for me today. Not because of VD. I think I'm coming down after booking the holiday, buying a new wardrobe worth of clothes etc. Anyway, I have hugs for all! ;-)
  17. SadOldMan
    peteypie: I feel pretty good atm. Had a slump earlier today. Had booked 3 days off work to get some of the rubbish sorted out in the house. I forgot that she has school holidays off too. Was getting pretty stressed about lunchtime so I went to see my sister for a couple of hours. When I returned, she had gone out and didn't return until 7pm. I booked myself a holiday tonight. Portugal for a week at easter. I've never been out of the uk before and now I'm going on my own! Quite excited tbh. If anything, her dumping me has been a really good kick up the ar*e. I'm going to start living properly now. Passport arrived this morning. I didn't hear the postman. She brought it into me. She asked where I was going. I told her. She sits on the sofa next to me and starts crying. I love her dearly but she is breaking my heart on a daily basis. I'm doing this for me. Not to try and win her back. Solely for me. It's time I started embracing what's out there.
  18. SadOldMan
    I think I'm handling this break up differently to my last one because...... We had a son. We split up when he was seven months old. She kept me on a lease for 4 years. Always asking for another chance (she dumped me). I cannot and will not ever go through anything like that again. Any wonder I'm in therapy atm? ;-) 19 years ago!
  19. SadOldMan
    peteypie: If this house doesn't sell quickly, she could be here for months! I guess this post now belongs in the Healing After Break Up or Divorce forum. Any thoughts on my 'coping' strategy? The only thing I have kept that reminds me of her is the rings she bought me. I've took them off and boxed them up. I have got rid of most of my clothes and just about bought a full wardrobe worth this week. It was fantastic. Like the best christmas ever! Some people say I shouldn't get rid of the stuff she's bought me but I don't want any reminders at all when I finally move to a new place. She's still never far from my thoughts. She thinks I'm being ignorant for not initiating any conversations. I told her I'd talk about the house and that's it. Yesterday, I got washed and put on some of my new clothes. She asked me in a very timid voice "are you going out?" * * * is wrong with her?! She goes out all the time. I never ask where or who she's been with. Oh. Still no mortgage payment from her
  20. SadOldMan
    The past week...She still hasn't paid her half of the mortgage. Being so weary of it all, I said I'd take it out of the profits of the house, when it's sold. (The house is up for sale now. I was staggered at how much the valuer put on it. £50k more than I thought). I had my first counseling session on Thursday. I was as honest as I could possibly be. Loads of 'issues' came up. I have never really got over my mum leaving when I was 7 years old. Lots of other thins came up that we'll talk about in future sessions. It really surprised me how much I wept once I got home (I did cry a little bit in the session). Did feel better though. My ex is still in the house and it's still unbearable. She's took to coming into my room, sitting next to me on the sofa, asking if I want some food etc. Last night she did the same thing but continued to just sit there and not say anything. I asked her if she had something to say to me and she replied "I just wondered how you're feeling today". Then she goes back to the he doesn't exist mode. The counselor agrees with everyone else about the situation. She thinks my ex has/is acting childishly, selfishly, sending mixed messages and doesn't understand why she is still in the house. I wanted to reach out and hug her last night but I don't think I could have coped with her pulling away. sigh.
  21. SadOldMan
    Just back from my 1st session. I 'enjoyed' it. She's booked me in for six, to try and address my 'issues'. Walked in my house and cried for an hour, on and off.
  22. SadOldMan
    I have my first session Thursday. Quite apprehensive about it tbh.
  23. SadOldMan
    I wish I could do 'proper' no contact. A bit blobby difficult when the woman who dumped me is still living in the house. ;-)
  24. SadOldMan
    4answers: I feel for you, I really do. I'm just coming to terms with the fact that my partner of 12 years no longer wants to be with me. Hurts pretty hard. But I also have hope for the future. Not much at present, admittedly, but there is some. hang in there.
  25. SadOldMan
    Jason1080: I know I will pull through once it's all over. For the week she wasn't here, I was getting on with things. It was great for me. I still missed her of course, but not seeing her everyday made the pain less.
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