SadOldMan
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Everything posted by SadOldMan
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BeStrongBeHappy: Thanks for your encouraging words. Much appreciated. Firstly, I have to cope with the final stages of this relationship. It's killing me. She moved back into the house on Wednesday. On Friday, she came into my room and said she was stuggling to find her half of the mortgage for this month but that she would get it. We started talking and I lost it a bit. Calling her evil for putting me through this torture. Said if she cared one bit for me she wouldn't be in the house. Told her I loved her to bits but also hated what she was doing to me. So Saturday was a very 'cloudy' day for me. I went to look at a house to rent. Very nice it was. Thing is, I couldn't cope with trying to keep two places going. My ex and I aren't speaking at all now. Stuck in a limbo world. hate it.
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BeStrongBeHappy: You are right. I have since calmed down a lot. I know that my outburst was because I was venting my hurt at her. I do hope the house sells quickly. I'm going to look at some rental properties tomorrow out of the city I live in. It'll actually be closer to were I work, and the chances of bumping into her will be practically 0. Man!, I hurt!! ;-)
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I just lost it with her. Had a right go. She had said earlier that she didn't have any money to help with the mortgage yet but she was hoping to have some soon. We had a terse conversation, niggly, petty squabbling etc. Then I let her have it. Said that I wanted a better deal then 50-50 split. Also said I thought she was evil for returning to the house. Just because she was finding it hard at her mums. SHe's put me back to the very beginning now
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I don't know what I can do. She doesn't seem to care how I feel about it. As she sees it, it's as much her pace as it is mine and she will stay here until it is sold.
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She came back because she hated staying at her parents place. We're not back together or anything. House is in both our names. She demanded to be let back in or she was going to see a solicitor. I told her that she would have to pay half of all the bills, instead of the 25% she had been paying for the past 7 years. It's not good....it really isn't.
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Man, this is going to be a tough haul. Day 2 of my ex back in the house and I feel like I've gone backwards to when she first told me. Head's got the clouds back in.
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and it is totally unbearable! She's only been back one night and I'm already climbing up the walls. She's walking about as though nothing has happened. Okay, we're not communicating or anything. She's like a ghost. Scary. I want my mum. Shame she's long gone
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heheh. You should try my position. My ex, who dumped me, is now back in the house. To say it is weird is totally underestimating the effect it is having on me. A total mind f**k. I don't get it, I really don't. If anyone has any ideas as to why she'd want to be here, please feel free to offer advice etc. /me goes to a far away place, in his head ;-)
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So. She's in the house when I get home tonight. No words spoken when I enter. I make a cuppa and sit down and drink it and have a cig. I walk into her room and tell her what's going to happen. It's a business arrangement until the house sells. I will not keep her. All the upkeep bills are to be added up and divided in half. She agrees. I'll be nearly £300 a month better off ;-)
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I called up some estate agents today to get the house valued. Hopefully, once we have a price we both like, it goes up for sale. I just can't handle any more of the grief. What I'm seeing now isn't the person I fell in love with. Someone is definitely pulling her strings.
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We aren't married, although the house is in joint names. I might go stay at my dads. Let her have her way. Pay the mortgage, and only the mortgage, until the house is sold. Think she'll be happy with that? Thought not ;-)
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Wowsers! I thought today would be quieter. Serves me right. She has told my sister that she is going to a solicitor. She wants to move back in until the house is sold. She called me an "arrogant, petulant child" because I don't want to talk to her, unless it's about the house. I am like ;-)
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I've changed my mobile phone sim. Her number isn't on it. There will be NO texts or calls to it from her to me or vice versa ;-)
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I'm starting to view my 12 year old relationship that ended recently in only a bad light atm. Only because I'm so full of anger and hurt of course ;-)
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So distressed. I now know it is over. I have accepted the fact. But, flook!, is it hard work. Never have I felt this much pressure in my life. I'm starting to look forward to the move forward now. House is no longer a home. It's a burden. I so wanted to not become angry or bitter. SoooOOoooo hard
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Phew. What an evening. Spoke to my sister on the phone. She's a psychologist. She thinks my ex is acting very childishly. She hated my no contact and forced it herself. Afterwards, she sends me a couple of catty, hurtful texts. What is wrong with her!? I haven't been that bad to her. I wanted to do the house so she would get more money out of it. Now, it's going on the market as it is.
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It just gets better. She just tried getting into the house but I wouldn't let her. It's all getting out of control
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Well, it's started to get dirty now She texted me at work asking if she could come to house to talk (she wants it sold asap so she can have her 'cut'). I texted back saying "I'd rather you didn't. The jobs will be done. You have to have patience". Well, she kicked off big style. "Just because I don't want us to get back together!....I have to make all the sacrifices!!" etc. By now, I'm seething, so I text her one last time to say "you think I want you back? It was all your 'issues' that were the problem. If you want to sell the house now, get some estate agents in to value it" I was doing so well too
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Just received a text from her. "I know you're having a hard time at the minute but I can't believe you're making me stay here!". That's in reference to her staying at her parents. I don't get it.
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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71
SadOldMan replied to SuperDave71's topic in Getting Back Together
I'm having one of the worst days days so far. Saw her drive by in her car. My heart felt like it was going to explode. But...I can handle no contact fairly well. It really calms me. I 'm on day 5, as she came to the house last Wednesday and we spoke. -
Having a really bad day. After Wednesday, there has been no contact between us. I have been to see my dad, and on the way back, I see her car. She'd been to the house to pick up some more of her stuff. My heart was pounding that fast, I was scared to look at her as she drove by. Feel so childish. Having had time to think about the past year and also talking it over with family and friends, I have backed off on the idea it was 90% my fault. Last year, my son from a previous got kicked out of the house by his mum and step-dad. He longer wanted to follow their faith. I took him in as he had nowhere else to go. My ex hated him being in the house. She took holidays away so she wouldn't have to be in the house with him during school breaks (she works term time only). I was piggy in the middle. I couldn't win. Now, other issues , that I had put to one side have been spoken about. I have been told there was nothing I could have done to avert what is happening now. Doesn't take the pain away. We're like strangers now. I find that really hard to come to terms with. I'll continue to get the house ready for sale and see what life brings after that.
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I'm very angry atm too. My ex seems to only talk and think about getting her 'cut' from the sale of our house. She even cried and said "if only you'd signed that £25k loan agreement". Grrr
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And she's just done it again! Turned up at 6pm. Goes in the small living room, has a couple of ciggies. I ask her what's she doing and she shouts "It's my house too!". So, being annoyed, I say "thanks for thinking about my feelings". She gets some stuff and slams the front door.
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Pisces_Princess: Kept myself busy. Cleaned the bathroom and all the cupboards in the kitchen. Bagged up all her shoes and coats. She won't be here to do it so I thought I'd help her out ;-) I'm feeling a little angry I guess. Not steaming or anything, just a little annoyed with her for turning up this morning. She only stayed 5 minutes. We didn't speak. I'm extremely confused with how my mind, heart and body is handling it. These forums sure are great to read. They've helped me immensely. I thank everyone of you
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Today, I have a day off work. Will be able to get some jobs done. Tidying up, a spot of paint stripping (oh joy! I hear someone trying the front door. Then a knock. I answer and she's stood there. I felt quite annoyed. "You knew I had today off". "I forgot" she said. Heart's beating so fast now