Myknosis

Today I had a relapse. I thought I was gaining internal strength but I have had a major fall today in my emotional strength. It's been three weeks now since my wife left me to "find herself and gain her independence." She is doing all that she can to stay away and I feel that she is just moving on without any consideration for how this has devastated me. I have tried to comply by not e-mailing, calling or seeing her. We have been together for 7 years and married 3 years. She is 22 years old and was a virgin when we came togther. I am so heartbroken. Today I had to drop off her mail (which I usually leave in her car parked at work). But she wasn't there. It kills me to not know where she is and wonder why she can just leave so many awesome years, dreams, hopes and future behind. I've posted before and many of you have given me great advise and empathy but my soul is dying today. Please anyone who can help me I feel like I can't function any longer...

I know how you feel as well. My wife left me after 7 years of being together and 3 years of marraige. All in one day she did a 180 degree turn around. The day before she was happy and we were talking about so many hopes and dreams for our future. She said that the reason she had to leave was to find herself and gain her independence so that she could be better for us. The day she left with her things my heart left with her. I have a hard time now doing things without thinking about her. I've cried and pleaded with her but there is nothing that I could do or say to bring her home again or wake her up. That has been over two weeks now. This post really helps. Let's you know that you're not alone. There are a lot of strategies that I found too. You need to realize that you did not Cause this, you can't control it, and you can't fix it. As soon as you realize this (daily struggle), then begin to emotionally detach. Each day sucks and you will struggle to want to pick up the phone and call her or maybe even e-mail her - what harm will that do right? You might even feel like driving to her place and seeing if she is there. Don't do it! Don't give in to that external control, but rather gain self control and strengthen yourself. Remember the more you contact her the weaker you will make the bond between you two and the harder she will try to free herself. So let her go and look to a future of shared moments with someone else. Don't even hope for her to come around because she may never. It's easy to say and you will continue to feel sick but remind yourself daily that the only person who is ever going to give a "beep" about you is you and you can't control this outcome! Good luck to you and gain strength one day at a time! We are all sufferers here of the same fate so you are not alone!

Girl, take it easy. I know how you must feel because my wife who is 22 years old just left me and I'm completely heart broken. Learn a lesson from that. We both were and still are truly in love with each other (at least she says so). I'm getting to the point where I need to move on but life has been hell. She said that she needed to find herself and assures me that she loves me but that all of her emotions just stopped. I think she got married too young and needs to explore her life independent of me. I'm not going to create a fantasy in my head thinking that she will wake up one day and realize what she lost. If I do, I'll just be setting myself up for another heartbreak. You need to do the same thing. You need to experience more life and not push this relationship further than it should go. You don't want to be more in love than he is. Don't create a fantasy world and hope that one day he will change, treat you better and get his life together. That day may never come. Do what you know is right for you. The only thing you can control right now is YOU! If you need to talk about how to emotionally detach, write me - I've been walking down that path a lot lately. Good luck!

To dream that one day he will wake up to see what he lost is only repeating the heartache. Each person only gets one shot in life – same goes in relationships. Don't hope for a return back to your past; rather look forward to a future of shared dreams with someone far more deserving of your attention. There are a lot more people out there far more beautiful and giving than what you had. Trust me because soul mates don't dump!

Dude - get it together man. you're not the only one who is hurting out here. There are a lot of us who have or is experiencing what you are going through. I know you feel like you are going to die but you are way too emotionally dependent on her to see that you deserve more. To dream that one day she will wake up to see what she lost is only repeating the heartache. Each person only gets one shot in life – same goes in relationships. Don't hope for a return back to your past; rather look forward to a future of shared dreams with someone far more deserving of your attention. There are a lot more people out there far more beautiful and giving than what you had. Trust me because soul mates don't dump!

She said that she needed space and independence so that she can be a stronger person for us. She says that there is no one else and I have struggled daily. I've been reading many posts here because it truly has helped me to see that I'm not the only person who has experienced the pain and agony of being dumped only to be to told that the reason is for space and independence. I've found awesome ways to begin my emotional detachment but my heart still hurts. I'm on the receiving end of the breakup and I tried to talk to her for understanding. I've smothered her with tears, endearing words, and information on ways that she might begin her process of understanding herself - but I've come to the realization that I can't fix or change her. I've tried to say goodbye only to fight with myself to e-mail or call her. I am trying to find my inner strenght now. To all of you have experienced or are going through this, should I e-mail her and let her know that I accept that I can't fix her and that I'm not going to smother her with any more contact or information?

She said that she needed space and independence so that she can be a stronger person for us. She says that there is no one else and I have struggled daily. I've been reading many posts here because it truly has helped me to see that I'm not the only person who has experienced the pain and agony of being dumped only to be to told that the reason is for space and independence. I've found awesome ways to begin my emotional detachment but my heart still hurts. I'm on the receiving end of the breakup and I tried to talk to her for understanding. I've smothered her with tears, endearing words, and information on ways that she might begin her process of understanding herself - but I've come to the realization that I can't fix or change her. I've tried to say goodbye only to fight with myself to e-mail or call her. I am trying to find my inner strenght now. To all of you have experienced or are going through this, should I e-mail her and let her know that I accept that I can't fix her and that I'm not going to smother her with any more contact or information?

I am asking anyone who has been through a mayor loss of love to help me find the answers to these questions: 1. How do I stop wondering where she is and what she is doing when my whole life was knowing that she cared? 2. How do I stop hoping that she will come back when I see my unborn children in her eyes? 3. How do I forget 7 years of wonderful life together and turn my back on all that we built together? 4. How do I stop fearing that she is in love and having sex with someone else when she was my virgin? 5. How do I say goodbye?

My wife who is 22 has been awesome. We were very happy together and I was her first lover, boyfriend...well...everything. Just a few weeks ago we were so happy and then a 180 degree turn happened. She said that all of her emotions just stopped. She says that she loves me but needs space and time away from me to figure out what happened. I'm writing for answers to anyone who has experienced this. Any female who has experienced this, what is going on? How could she go through an emotional detachment literally overnight? Is she going through a possible physical problem? She has been under incredible stress lately from work, school and home projects. Could this be the cause? We tried to get pregnant just last month but to no avail so she went back on the pill. Could a hormonal imbalance be the cause? I know for a fact that it's not someone else. She is trying to focus on school and work and says that she is trying to find her independence and that our relationship was too demanding for where she is at this point. I certainly didn't think I was too demanding but in fact allowed her a lot space. I helped put her through school, bought our first house, first car, and fully supported her in all her endeavors. She even wrote a letter to all of my family, friends and colleagues telling them that she is not closing the door on our relationship and that this should not reflect on me since I was a "loyal and loving husband." I first need to understand what is happening and then any advice on what to do would be appreciated. Right now I am forced to begin an emotional detachment because this breakup has been too incredibly devastating for me! Any words of experience would be greatly appreciated.