Diva26
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How true. I am with a man who has 3 girls with his ex (and I have 2 girls with my ex) We've been together for 4 years this July. I won't blow sunshine up your pipe and tell you it's all rosey, but if you are serious about this guy and don't mind being second, then go for it. Something may have happened between him and his ex to make her deny his access to his daughter. Some women are controlling and vindictive.hazlcha's pretty much got it. Just be there for him. Chin up
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If she's up for it,maybe try going down on her and stimulate her with your tongue. concentrate on her sweet spot. Sometimes when a girl is nervous,she can't go. When we let go, WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Would really appreciate some ideas
Diva26 replied to Mizzy's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Another suggestion is to maybe research depression/OCD for your own knowledge, and how you as a partner can help, if that is the path you want to take. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, so while others may think that a certain situation is no big deal, to a person with depression, it is almost the end of the world.the littlest thing may trigger it and it can be a downward spiral from there. Everyone gets depressed now and again. Think of when you lose a job, or something disappoints you. That awful hollow, sinking feeling that you get? Someone with depression struggles with that almost on a daily basis. So it can really suck. -
Would really appreciate some ideas
Diva26 replied to Mizzy's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Well, I happen to feel that depression is a bit like alcoholism. Many doctors feel the same way. To a lot of people it is a constant battle, and like alcoholism you have to want to get better to actually get better. You have to fight, set rules, take actions, medication, see therapists, read, go to meetings, etc. If your ex isn't doing anything actively to fight against depression, then I say you are left with one alternative and that is to find someone new. Ask yourself how you would feel if your ex were an alcoholic and wasn't there for you when you needed him because he was on a binge. Well put. I have struggled with depression al my life, so I kinda know what your ex is going thru.If you really love him and think you may want things to work, talk to him about his disease(yes, like alcoholism, depression is a disease)and explain that you still love him, but he needs to take the steps in order to get his depression under control(if he hasn't yet done so)If you are to be with him .For EVERYONES best interest. Part of loving someone is accepting the bad with the good,provided the bad doesn't outweigh the good. There are ways of managing depression, but as I said he needs to want to take those steps. tell him that you support and respect whatever decision he makes and if he chooses to find help, then you will be there for moral support(as much as you feel comfortable).Then continue with your everyday life and hope for the best 'cause he is the only one who can make the next step. -
I think she may indeed know how head-over-heels you are already and might be using that for more manipulation tactics. I understand when you say you fall hard. There is no rule saying how you should feel about a person after a certain amount of time, whether it be long or short. You just really need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself how long you are willing to let yourself get hurt.(I know, easier said that done, but it is possible)She is not the end all be all.
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awesome idea. Seriously consider it.
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First thing sweetie, remember, it always takes two to make or break a relationship. You are being so unfair to yourself for taking tha blame regarding your first gf. And you are also taking the brunt of the blame for this one as well. You need to realize that you are worth a darn and you deserve to be treated the way you want . I know you don't want to be treated this poorly. I only know that what I've read about you,is that you want to be cherished just as you should be.The hardest part of all this is being able to pick yourself up again and believe in yourself. Everyone has different personality traits. You seem to be passive, while your gf is aggressive.For some reason we attract the opposite personalities.You sound like a real gentle guy.It's not your fault,(nor is it a bad thing) its just the way it goes.Try to coach yourself into believing you are worth it. If you need advice, don't hesitate.Been there, done that.
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sheesh.....! Aren't relationships confusing?! They are so incredibly complicated. If you want to know what your ex is thinking then by all means ask her.Let your current girl know if you are going to indeed meet with your ex. That way there are no surprises of reasons for her to mistrust you. Then if you do end up hanging out with your ex, be upfront with her.It's great that you respect you current for her decision, but that can't be easy for you. The human race is so confusing. If you are really close friendship-wise with your ex, then seriousely, talk to her about your predicament. She is the only one who knows what she is feeling and thinking, so who better to ask. Otherwise you are going to drive yourself nuts trying to figure this one out.
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I'm not trying to come accross too harsh, and I apologize if I am, but tyler brings up a really good point. This seems like a cyclical situation. I know from being in controlling/abusive situations that the longer you are in them, the harder it is to get the heck out. Your self worth continues to get ripped away from you, and from what you've been writing you may well have had alot of it taken by your previous gf. So it's possible that you are having difficulties hashing this one out because your confidence in yourself has been tarnished.
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If you value the realtionship you are in now, then maybe you should cool it with the idea of hanging out with your ex. Your current gf might have some problems with that especially if she knew how your ex was acting toward you.(and rightfully so) Ask yourself if you would be o.k if your gf was in the same situation as you are in now.(be honest with yourself). Best idea, let it go man, let it go.
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Maybe you were on the rebound. You met up with her, and now you are being treated like garbage, but in your eyes, that is better than being alone? I dunno guy.But I do know that what she is putting you through isn't healthy
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Let's see....Deception, manipulation,contradiction,possessiveness, insecurity, mind-games. Sounds like all the right reasons for her to move to dumpsville,.. population: her. Seriousely man, you don't deserve this s**t.
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O.k. I think she is very manipulative after reading this. NO GOOD CAN COME OF THIS.She wants it her way. It seems to be all a little game to her.my advice, think with your head instead of your heart on this. You are in for a world of misery unless she changes.
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First off, I'd like to apologize for going off on a rant. I've been cheated on and so your situation strikes a nerve for me. I feel for you. Um, I guess you're going to have to ask yourself if you are willing to accept what you are feeling now and if you will be able to live with it. You are going to feel distrust and all thost yucky feelings for quite some time. There is no set time frame for the human heart to get over the feelings of betrayl.Without sounding condescending, how can you be sure she isn't talking to him anymore?At this point,the ball is in your court. you must have a gut feeling of how things are going to go.Just be careful, you are in a very vulnerable position right now.
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No, I mean playing a game with herself. Alot of women go out to bars for example, and see how many men they can attract, how many numbers they can give away(some even keep a tally of how many men they can bring home)etc. Ive had alot of girl roomates, and even I used to flirt to see how appealing the other sex was. Sick, eh? That's human nature for ya. You do have a point though. By her playing this game she may be sucking him into it as well.