Mizzy
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Angela, I'm so sorry you feel in so much pain. I can promise you that it does get better. You are a wonderful strong person and you deserve better than a husband who just ups and leaves, who doesn't stay and work any problems out. You deserve better than that. Sometimes life just doesn't go the way we think it's going to go but once this pain is gone you can have a better life. You can be with someone who truly deserves you. Keep going and take one day at a time, don't think about tomorrow or the future just look after yourself physically. Take Care.
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I'm the same. Work keeps me busy in the week but Saturdays can drag. Do you like sports? I haven't done anything yet but a friend recently joined a female football club. It's very social and as well as playing football each Saturday they go out at night on different functions. Maybe worth a try. Let us know how you get on.
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My son is 7 and my ex husband left me for another woman when he was 10 months old. He has stayed with her, married her and they have a 2 year old son. Your healing will take time and sometimes the pain will be unbearable but I can guarantee that you will reach a point where you are completely over him. Now when I see my ex I get on with him (and his new wife!) but I can clearly see he was not right for me and better things lay ahead. Keep going and take care of yourself. I found it a great comfort to lean on family - not only did they support me but they helped with Alex as well. Take Care x
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flower - I think I do need to get busier. I've really busy at work but it's the weekend that I dread. It will be so different without him. stolenshadow - I've found some great support on here. I'm really angry with myself because I sent him a text on Wednesday and it made me look pathetic. Sadder that he didn'e respond to it so I feel like he's not hurting. orlander - thanks for this. I worry that I won't ever meet anyone and the thought of starting over terrifies me. I suppose this is only natural. Guys thanks so much for your support I'm going to try and keep busy this weekend and just keep going. Take Care
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Been with my bf for 4 years and we split up (again) 3 days ago. I lovedhim to bits thought he was my soul mate. We had some brilliant times but he had some health issues (anxiety and ocd- obsessive compulsive disorder) and it made it so difficult to keep going. Because of ocd he had to stop sleeping over and I found this change really difficult to a just too, I just wanted things back the way they were. Also we want different things. I wanted to settle down but he wanted to pursue his dream of acting. Feeling really low , just want everything back where it was but he doesn't want that - I feel so sad and lonely. How do I move on? How do I ever get over this? Want to hear his voice but he doesn't want to be with me - how can I stop the pain?? Thanks for any help
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Would really appreciate some ideas
Mizzy replied to Mizzy's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Thank you for your advice it's really helped. My ex does attend counselling. 2 years ago he was perscribed an anti-depressant Seroxat (aka Paxil) and had a bad reaction so he will not consider these again. If I'm been fair he has radically changed his diet (no sugar, alchol etc) to try and give him self the best chance but sometimes when it's at it worst I find it so difficult to offer the support he needs and carry on. I think that for now I will try and do some research myself and support from a distance. Thanks again it's just nice to have support -
I've been regularly logging onto this site for sometime but haven't posted very often. Briefly I split with my b/f six months ago, we had been together 3 and half years. The main reason for our split is that my b/f suffers from depression and OCD and this had put a continual strain on our relationship. The split was mutual, we both still loved each other a lot but during intensive bouts of depression/OCD I found it really difficult emotionally. For me it came to a head when I had issues at work and b/f couldn't support me emotionally due to his health problems. Since then I have had councelling and this has really helped. My b/f contacted me a few weeks ago and we met up a few times to talk 'as friends'. Now he has suggested we try again and I don't know what to do. I do love him immensely but his health problems will probably be with him throughout his life. I know I will always have to be the strong one and he probably won't be strong enough to support me when I need help and this makes me sad. In addition to this I have a lovely little boy who is seven and I want the best for him - I sometimes worry that when he sees my b/f unwell he finds this upsetting. I would really appreciate your views/guidance on this.
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Summing up your feelings
Mizzy replied to butterflycloud's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Mine would be: Broken -
I started seeing a counsellor and it really helped. I talked about my ex and past b/f's and it helped get a lot of stuff straight in my mind. It's been 3 months since a started seeing the counsellor but I already feel I'm a bit better person. Try it see if it helps.
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Just wanted to say thank you. It's words like this that give me strength to get through. I'm going to concentrate on trying to make myself happy a day at a time.
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Thanks guys. He broke up with me. He's 39 and a teacher but has always wanted to go to drama school. We were together 3 years and engaged but he doesn't think he can be in a relationship and fulfil his dream of drama school - what does that tell me! He repeated that he didn't want a relationship last night. I think I need to ask him to stay away. I've always wanted him back but I'm not strong enough for this.
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I split up with my b/f 2 months ago. I've never posted before but have read all the advise on here and though it was really hard a stuck to NC since we split. I felt devasted - like my heart would explode sometimes but with the NC I know I was getting better. When I got home tonight he was on my doorstep. Know I shouldn't but I let him in the house. He kissed me, hugged me (got my hopes up) then he withdrew said it was a mistake and left. I'm broken again, cried my eyes out how can I get back from this?
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I agree SSRI's can be really dangerous - have a look at the Paxil Progress site. My ex had a really bad time coming off them (the main reason we split) and there is a lot of really bad press. Sorry don't want to influence but having gone through this nightmare withdrawal with someone thought you should be aware.
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...and so the healing process begins
Mizzy replied to ehm doubleyou's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
You did brilliant. You will have had some great times together and by acting the way you did you did not diminish the memories of these. Sometimes you'll feel really angry but these feelings you need to share with friends or on this site - keep your dignity and don't sound off to your ex. A very wise friend once told me that if you love someone you should let them go and if it's meant to be they'll come back to you. I think this is so true. Let it go, grieve and move on - fate will take a hand in your life. You are strong. Take care x . -
I agree don't wait for your ex to call. If they do their response may not be what you expect and this can cause you even more pain and emotional upset. No matter how hard it is hang on in there. There is a saying 'if you love them let them go, if it's meant to be they'll come back'. Grieve and move on. Take care x