Ploppy

Okay, here's the deal. I met this girl and i think i'm falling for her. We get on great and everytime i find out new things about her it makes me even more attracted to her becasue it's things i'm into as well. Now, when we're together with other people i flirt with her, but in the type of "jokingly" way so it shows that i might be interested in her but it saves me loads of embarrassment if she's not interested. She always flirts back in the same way / acts like she's interested in me. However, i've discovered that she has a BF, and the topic did come up becasue one of her friends mentioned him (saying something like: "How comes you don't spend much time together?"). She replied with something like "I'm still deciding who i like more", now i don't know if she was talking about me and her BF, or her BF and some other guy becasue i haven't really known her for very long, but i have a big feeling she did mean me. Now if she did mean me, and she is interested in me, and everything i think is true from the reactions i've got from her i can't help but feel really bad for the other guy. I mean, the exact same thing happened to me only a month ago. My 2 and half year GF dumped me becasue she had feelings for someone else and i was neglecting her (which i've learnt from) and it turned me into a complete wreck for quite awhile. Infact if i didn't meet this girl i'd still probaly be heart broken over my ex, but after meeting her it seems to be helping me get over my ex alot easier becasue she's proof there's someone just as good / probaly better out there for me (like i said, i don't know a whole lot about her, but everything i've seen so far i really like of her). I just don't know what to do. I mean, i really like this girl, i'm starting to think about her alot. But if i followed my emotions and tried to find out how she really did feel about me, and if she feels the way i think and dumps her BF for me, then i'd be responsible for inflicting the most pain i've ever experianced on someone else and i can't help but feel bad about it. I mean i don't know what their relationship is like at the moment. It might be an awful relationship that they both might want to get out of, but it might not be.

Okay thanks, i'm going to do what was suggested and put it all in a box and throw it under my bed or in a cupboard or something.

Okay, after 3 weeks of breaking up with my 2 and half year GF i'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that it's over between me and my ex but i have some questions about what should be done about the things that remind me of her. I have a picture of us in a frame on my desk, and i have various cards and things scattered around my room that are from her. I also have several pictures of us together on my computer and stuff. Me and my Ex are still close friends and usually speak to each other atleast once a day. Is it foolish to keep these items as memories since i'm trying to move on? Or is it stupid to get rid of them becasue they're just memories of an important time in my life? Also, there is an image on my computer that i created for her when we were together becasue i'm into photoshop and stuff. It has a photo off us, with song lyrics of my favorite song and the words of something like: "Whatever happens i'll always love you". I'm worried that this image could cause problems in future relationships for me if i kept it (i dunno, lets just hypothetically say i had a new GF and she was wondering around my computer and randomly found it), what does everyone else think? I mean, if i ever find someone that i love that much again i'll clearly be over my ex by then, but i put alot of work into creating it and ultimately all it is is another memory of her that i would like to keep it since my ex took up such a big chunk of my life, but obviously i don't want silly things like an image i made for her when we were together ruin future relationships for me. So i don't really know what to do, should i get rid of everything and move on completely? Or keep it all as memories of the past? Or just get rid of the image that says "I'll always love you" (my ex also has a copy of this) even though by the time i eventually i find someone that i love that much again i'll be welllll over my ex by then and the words will mean nothing.

weird.. i've had a few of them since me and my ex broke up. Numbers 1,2 and 6 are the ones i've had. Not sure if 6 was a real dream or me just day dreaming though (can't remember)

The only way to get her back is to make her fall in love with you again and show her you've changed. It's a very hard task, and by acting the way you did when you first broke up may have ruined everything becasue you were acting very annoying. Put yourself in her shoes, if you no longer wanted to be with her, and she kept on pestering you and asking you to come back it'd just drive you away more becasue it's annoying. It's unfortunetly a mistake almost everyone makes when they're dumped the first time and they're still in love with the person, and it can ruin any chances of getting her back. - Just try to remember how you made her fall in love with you before and try to do that while also showing her you've changed. - Don't be clingy and pester her all the time or bug her when she's busy. Just be the casual friend that talks and hangs out now and then but try to act the way you acted when she fell in love with you. - Show you care, but not in a pathetic / clingy way. Just show it now and then. - Try to move on. You may or may not get back with her and i know it's impossible to accept at first but if an awsome girl comes along don't miss your opportunity becasue you're trying to get back with your ex. Have faith, if you're ment to be, you'll eventually be naturally.

I was with a girl for 2 and half years. We met at the end of highschool, and just broke up (i'm half way through college). I was going through the same and i felt psycially and mentally attracted to other people. However, we had other problems and eventually we broke up and i miss her so much now. Understand that no matter who you're with, your emotions for people will flucuate and there will be times when you don't feel like your current love is the right one. However, learn to look at the whole picture, remember all these girls you have feelings for will have their own flaws too, you just don't know them yet and they might end up being alot worser than what your current girl friend has. My advise from experiance would be to stay with your current girlfriend, when i was with mine i thought it'd be cool to be single and to be free at such a young age and i was tempted to end it, but now it is over i relise how much i really had back then..

My 2 friends did it (they're together, not 2 separate couples). They're currently living together now, but i believe they were together online for about 5-6years before they moved in.

You could try talking to him about what he feels for you. When i fell in love with my ex i knew i was in love instantly becasue i would think of her all the time (literally 24/7, i couldn't sleep coz she'd be in my head, i couldn't cenocentrate on school work becasue i was thinking of her, she was always in there), i would get goosbumps or a trust of excitement whenever she was around, and just talking to her was better than going on holiday for a week. She practically became the most important thing in my life and it was so obvious it was love. You could ask him if he does any of these things, if it's not like that for him then don't worry, sometimes love just needs time to grow and it isn't always at first sight like it was for me and my ex ;(... i mean, just look at us now, we're not even together now... even though i still love her as much as i did before and would take her back in an instant but life just isn't a fairytale and just becasue it might not be like that for you doesn't mean it wont be the relationship that lasts forever. So my advise: jump deeper into his feelings for you and find out exactly what he feels for you then you can try to define if it's love.

Be there for her when it goes bad. Besides that move on and try to find someone else. You cannot interefere with her current relationship becasue it'll possible destroy yours with her. You can try fighting for her i guess, but trust me, that didn't get me anywhere. Just tell her your feelings and you'll always be there for her and want to remain good friends, then try to move on. - If it goes bad for her before you find someone else you can just get back with her - If you've fallen in love with someone else by the time it goes bad for her then getting back together will mean nothing to you. And oh, you WILL find another girl you feel this much for eventually. There is no way anyone can be so ignorant as to say they found the only girl they'll ever feel this much for out of all the females on the planet. It's impossible, i don't believe in soul mates, and i believe there's ALWAYS someone else on the planet that's better suited for every couple out there, but finding that person is near enough impossible, so you just have to find someone close to it. I know it's incredable hard to imagine your life without her or never finding someone like her again, i'm going through the same stuff too, but it's really just straight forward logic. Can you really believe that there's only one girl out of all the females on the world that you happened to meet at the age you're at now? (i know it's silly of me to assume your age and you could be preety old, but from the sounds of it you sound like you're in your low 20s). You've just gotta continue looking until you find another one like your dream girl and to stop beleiving that the girl you lost was your dream girl, becasue she wasn't, she can't be simpley becasue the chances of you meeting her are so low. Just make sure the next time you do find someone as important as she was, to not screw it up this time. - If you're with someone and it goes bad for her but you want to get back with the other girl then just end your current relationship. Just don't lose that contact with her and remain close friends (make sure she wants to remain good friends too, if she stops contacting you ask why when she said she wanted to remain good friends). Once you lose that contact, there's not much chance of you both getting back together at all. BTW that isn't advise saying the whole "NC" thing is a bad idea. Doing NC with her for a bit just to heal and get over her is a good idea if thats what you was gonig to do, but make sure you eventually contact her again and you remain friends becasue otherwise there's really no chance of getting back with her.

Something similar seems to be happening with me and my ex >_p. Usually i leave my computer on all day and just leave an AIM away message up for what i'm busy doing, but one day i decide to log off AIM instead of using an away message and i'm not on for 1-2 days or so and the second i logon my GFs asking all these questions about where i've been and wanting to do something together (er just this thing we used to do that can be done as friends too). It was really weird, it was her that dumped me, it was her that i thought was over me, it was her who wasn't messaging me at all before when i would leave an away up so she knew i was around and what i was doing, but the second i'm not there she's acting weird...

edit: i've edited all my posts out coz somethings come up. Just a note to Pippa: they do work, just depends on the situation. I know of 3/5 friends that eventually started living with their lover through a LDR relationship (would've bee 4/5 if my ex and i were still together next year... Their relationships were online for 2-3 years, most lived with each other for 1-2 years after that, only 1 of the 3 friends is still together with their lover that started from a LDR but that was becasue of real life issues and normal relationship problems, not really anything to do with the fact that it started out as LDR But they definitly work.

Okay, has anyone actually bought one of these? They say that their methods ALWAYS work and that if you do what the book says, you're garenteed to get your ex back. Has anyone read one and do their strategys really work? If they do can anyone sum up the main ones they say? Or are the people that write these books just playing with peoples emotions by saying they always work?

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