brassplum30
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Posts
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Hello Unbroken, I don't really have any suggestions, but after reading your post I could feel the strength you have in yourself behind it, and it makes me believe I can be strong as well. I look forward to seeing where your story goes. Thanks again, and I hope you get some great advice!
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I'd agree. You're a sweet, great looking guy! Get out there!
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MarkM, Ummm... sorry, was just going by the history of your thread? Was Scout wrong?
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I know this will be REALLY hard, but it seems like maybe you should move away from this site. It seems to keep you talking and thinking about her. Almost like a way to keep her in the forefront, when, after this amount of time, she should be a memory. You both did things wrong, you both did things right. Try to accept this and move on. You seem like you're trying to 'keep the dream alive' by re-hashing over and over again on here. You're a great guy- get out there and prove it to someone who deserves it!!
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GREAT job on the NC! Two weeks is rough. Good luck to you- just keep looking forward
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Question for everyone doing NC?
brassplum30 replied to didyoumissme's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
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I'm so sorry you are going through this! I've found, though, that not eating makes the situation way worse. Your brain loses the ability to function properly, so the bad thoughts running through your head are now going at 50 miles an hour, when, with food, they would slow down to an easier 10 (Not good, but certainly more manageable). Also, not sleeping will drive you crazy. I got just one good nights sleep out of about seven, but that really made a difference in my mentality the next day. Buy some of those Ensure shakes until your stomach is up to solids again. Just chug it down. Without nutrients your hair will start to fall out as well. We don't want you depressed AND bald, do we? I feel your pain. This is my second breakup with the same guy, but I know how to better take care of myself physically this time around (my hair started falling out, and I looked like the grim reaper on a really bad day the first time). Day by day it gets easier. Chin up, and I hope you feel a bit better. So many ppl on here have fantastic advice to get you thru the hard times. Good luck
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6 weeks later still confused and hurt
brassplum30 replied to Torchbearer's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Sorry to hear you're going trough this. You may not be convinced her feelings are gone (they won't be, you were together a while), but her residual feelings are definitely not leaning towards getting back with you. I pulled this bullsh*t on an ex a few years back- my retreating from sex was a way to detach from the situation or have him dump me, rather than deal with my problems. I was an immature idiot. Not becuase I wanted to go back, but because I didn't have the decency to explain, and my guilt made me act badly (no worries, karma caught up with me, trust me). do you want to be with someone who just up and dumps you out of the blue w/o care to you? She sounds as immature as I was (a LONG time ago. Now I'm a catch! ) Anyway, sounds to me like she was having problems that had nothing to do with you necessarily, but she doesn't want to go back to you. If she's not mature enough to at least try to explain her position (horrid that she just cut you off w/o explanation), then i would certainly suggest a true NC break. You are clearly more into trying than she is. Maybe if you sent her a final msg saying that she ended it badly and if shes willing to explain properly for your sake then great, but if not then thats fine, too. Either way, don't go back. Give her time to grow up. You sound like a solid guy. Good luck! -
Great job! I haven't any use for my mobile either now that my b/f and i broke up It just reminds me to get out there and meet new people! Good luck to you
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Thankyou scout. i just read your thread on 'finding peace in being single' and it was fantastic. i will look to it again down the road before jumping back into the dating scene.
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This was my message to him (I just sent it about 15 minutes ago): I can see you are being honest when you say you don't see a future, and I can respect that. My heart needed this; your explanation has provided some measure of closure. No hard feelings at all. Good luck in everything you do (and I don't mean that in a cheesy greeting card way, I really mean I hope you are super happy because you deserve it-- bah, you know what I mean!) I'm glad to know that in the future I will still be able to speak of you fondly and with a smile... alot of exes don't have that Always, *** I feel better having sent it, like closing a door, but I've been enveloped by an incredible sadness. Now I can't stop crying! How long until this goes way? I feel like someone died.
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icemotoboy- That made me tear up, but in a good way. I will take your advice to heart... when I read it, it felt right. I don't honestly see myself beng friends with him later- the sadness would be too great- but I know we are great people separately, and I'm happy not to feel anger towards him. I'm glad your last memory of your ex was a good one; once I get over this nagging feeling of loss, I'm sure I'll remember the good times fondly as well. Thanks again
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i'm on day one ;( really helps to know others have made it to the end of the tunnel, though! left foot, right foot...
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Thankyou RJone. Everything you say makes sense. I guess it's better to move on than to resent the one you're with, no matter how much you love them.
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It's over. Trying to remain optimistic. Day one of rest of life starts here...