carmonie

He cheated on you. Whatever happened he did cheat, that means the relationship didnt' mean enough to stop him. I'm assuming you were already boyfriend adn girlfriend. If you guys are close you can try to be friends but from friends I've never ever seen two people who were inlove ever get back to being good again when someone cheated, its always gonna be there. Just leave him. But it is your choice, if you stay with him you'll be alot more compassionate than I am.

Hey Nice girls aren't extint - they just already have boyfriends Seriously though, people who don't drink at all at college are kinda hard to find. Some drink just occasionally - but most of my friends are the none drinking kind. I guess it depends on the crowd you're looking for. Just speaking to different groups of people you're bound to run into a group like mine. We're the ones who aren't all big and bad. More calm and laid back and hidden in the background. I don't hang out on Campus much and I don't have time to party or drink etc, I have too much other stuff to do. Look for the busy little beavers, they're probably more to your taste. dont' get me wrong, if it's jsut me and my boyfriend at dinner, I'll have a glass of wine etc if it's our anniversary or something. I think that kind of once in a long while social drinking is okay. Seniors probably are the crowd you'll be most comfortable with becasue most have already partied all they could during freshman and now they're calmer and wiser.

I've been in love with someone that had the outward appearance of a "bad boy" and so I innitially I didn't like him and didn't want to fall in love with him. He can be very selfish, (like he easily can tell me that he expects me to be understanding if he's got stuff to do but if I do the same thing he has a double standard) but for the most part he treated me good. Except when he was mad. I hate that fact. I never like bad boys - what I was attracted to was someone who wasn't scared and someone who was confident. I am very shy and I have no idea how to make the first move etc so - a guy who isn't afraid to innitiate like holding hands or asking me out etc is very attractive. I personally hate someone who treats me disrespectfully and I hate being lied to and even though, I like someone who's smooth and confident (outward appearance of a bad boy) I still want someone who is cuddly and loving to me. In other if a guy treated me like crap - I wouldn't love him. Or if I did love him, I'd end up falling out of love. I think a nice guy is the best one to have if, he has a little personality. He's gotta be interesting and patient and a good listner as well as a talker. But a man that treats me right, that keeps intrigue is who I'd find irrisistable. ( I already found that, except during his selfish days) In short, stay your sweet self but keep the girl intrigued.

I seem to be constantly angry all the time. I can't let it go at all. My boyfriend and I have been arguing a bit and he hasn't been spending much real time with me because he's so busy at school and he expects me to be understanding of that but I think I'm just really upset becasue even during my toughest quarters I always found time for him. He wastes his time doing nonsense like surfing the web or talking to his friends adn then he says he has no time. I mean I try to be understanding but I'm just so resentful that I always tried to make time for him. Today he only wanted to see me for lunch because he was hungry not because he wanted to see me. I know that's stupid and little but I'm pissed. And then today - he never even tried to come over and see me. You know, he just told me that he didn't like coming here because he he can't park anywhere. Its 11pm - I called him and he wants me to go over to his house. He knows I have a curfew and suddenly it's me at fault. I feel like I'm the only one that ever needed to see him so much. I feel cheated and hurt and angry. And today's incident shouldn't make me feel so upset. I don't understand it. Its not just that I'm angry all the time constantly at him at everything. The way he only wanted to see me because he was hungry, the way he said he can't find a damn parking spot, the way he didn't even try to ask me out to anything for the past three weeks, the way he said I need to be understanding of his school and that he doesn't know for sure when we can spend time and that he'll have to see when there is time, like whenever theres space he'll slot me in. I never did this to him, I always made him my priority above everything else and I just feel so neglected. He doesn't even have anything like an exam or homework due this week. But he had to see what's up. He blamed me the last time for not getting his homework done, but last week I didn't bug him at all, in fact I didn't even call him at all - just let him call me when he had time and he still didn't finish his own homework. I hate this need I have to see him when he can overide needing to see me so easy. I hate taht I feel this way and that I'm the one who ends up lonely and teary and he's doing whatever.

HI lon I'm sorry so lonely. I get like that sometimes too. My bf has a lot to study to right now and he doesn't seem to need to talk to me or be with me like I feel towards him. I start crying sometimes for no reason, when he says he's gotta go or he abruptly says bye on the phone. He also expects me to be understanding of his school and work and stuff but I feel neglected and very lonely. He doesn't get it. I kinda used to break down a lot before. I live in a very cramped apartment and sometimes all I could do was drive around in my car so that I wouldn't bother my roomates ( I don't let anybody know somethings wrong). I found that writing here on this forum place helps alot. Sometimes all you need to do, is not even post but read other posts and you get a little stronger. I know it's hard but have you tried doing fun stuff with your kid? I found that I've grown very close to my brother now with my boyfriend spending so little time with me. In fact in a lot of ways my brother is closer than my boyfriend can be. Silly things like watching a movie or playing cards just company with other people or your children can help alot. Don't try to get attention from him. It only hurts when you get rejection right? go ahead and spoil yourself - get your hair done or your nails and grow close to your kid. You'll find that you'll feel less lonely and when your husband notices that you've grown tired of making him give you attention he'll start missing you and want your attention. I mean it's worth a try right?

you don't need to be a jerk to keep the girl interested. I've dated bad boys and what they do is that they don't cling. get it? So you take her out friday, don't call back the next day. Give her time to miss you. Call maybe Friday or something. I know it seems counter intuitive but its the longing for someone (not too long a week is good enough) that creates the excitement. Don't be too mushy either - I used to head for the hills when a guy I barely knew started talking like that. Mushy stuff save for after your 3 month anniversary. well hope that helped.

thank you for the advice everyone. I think the hot shower I took and writing here hrlped alot. I'm still a little angry though. spoke to my boyfriend - helped a little but I'm just mad when he tells me basically he'll keep doing the same thing even though he knows it upsets me. I have no idea how to not be resentful of that

Okay so after you count to ten, and don't call back and don't make the whole situation get blown out of proportion, how do you stop yourself from resenting the angry words or actions from your partner? How do you just let it go? how do you truly go from mad to 8) cool again - truly without faking it.

thank you for the advice - I kinda tried cooling off today before talking about how my boyfriend kept putting me down today, but I made the mistake of bringing other stuff that he did today as well up. From the advice I read I guess I should have only brought up one thing at a time. Thing is, after I listened to what he had to say and tried to be understanding he said I was just irritating him and I felt like all the anger I had before multiplied by like ten and I asked him what he would rather have - me talking to him when something upsets me or have it just eat at me from the inside and he said maybe it would be better to do the latter. Then he told me to just let him go before I screw him over again cause he had stuff to do. I held back from saying anything more but I'm just so angry. Even if I tell him anything he's not really sorry about saying something like that. He just thinks I deserve it for making him angry. Tomorrow he'll pretend like nothing happenned and if I bring it up he'll get upset for making him get angry again. But if I had said anything I better answer him because he's angry. I'm so confused. I know I'm doing stuff too but I can't help but feel that there is no compromise. I'm so angry and I want to talk to him but it never gets any better - if I just don't call him at least I don't feel worse- I don't get it how can he tell me that I just irritate him?

hi Don't know if this helps much but my best friend was awfully shy and liked someone for a year before doing anything. They'd keep bumping into each other and not talking much. Eventually she was moving and he asked if she needed any help - she had been waiting for him to make a move the whole time. They went out a while. If you don't want to come on too strong just try talking to her first for like a few minutes, find out her taste in music, her favorite food, her dream vacation. Most people love being asked that and it breaks the ice. My boyfriend did that with me because I was the painfully shy type. After a few short conversations he asked me what I was doing one friday night and after I told him nothing, he asked me to go to a movie. Just start small.

Hi I've been reading advice on this site for a while but I'm a little naive about how to handle relationship arguments. Little things always end up too big. I can't handle emotions very well and I'm pushing my boyfriend further and further away. I want to stop doing that but I seem to always make the argument worse. To add to things, he has a short temper and I just shut down when I don't want to argue or I say things that don't help, can anyone tell me a more rational, mature way to handle a relationship argument. We both love each other but our fights can become really bad, and I don't want to keep reacting like I do.