kalsman
-
Posts
26 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by kalsman
-
So it just happened that her ex called the other night while drunk. She talked to him for like 15 min. all the while I was waiting in bed for her to return. I got pretty angry and she obviously picked up on this and asked me what the deal was. Thats when I asked her if she had been talking to him much and if they had been spending any time together. She said that they hadn't. I asked again. and again she told me no. Thats when I told her about the email and that I knew that she had and she was lying to me. She told me that she didnt tell me because she thought I would take it out of context and get mad at her and then she said that she wouldnt talk to him again because it was putting an obvious strain on our relationship (there was a lot more to the talk but I'll spare you the details). Soooo....anyway, I just wanted to give an update to reinforce what everbody always says on this site...you gotta talk about things!
-
One thing I dont understand is the desire to hang-out-with/be-friends-with ex-lovers. That would be sooooo far down on my list of priorities that I just cant see why she would call him up wanting to hang out.
-
While casually checking my girlfriends email for her (she asked me to), I saw she had a recent one from her exboyfriend. Curiosity got the best of me and I checked it again later to see what he had to say. He really didn't say much and was just replying to something that she sent him...something that has me now questioning things. She said: "Thanks for hanging out with me the other day. I had a lot of fun." (there was a bit more to the email but was irrelevent) It seems innocent enough...had she told me about it! Everyday we ask eachother what we did the day/days before but she said nothing about hanging out with him. Should I be concerned that shes being sneaky about this? ...and if so...what do I do? I cant come out and say that I was reading through her past emails and I really dont want to come off unnecessarily jealous. She once asked me if it was ok that she was still friends with him. I said I didnt have a problem with it so long as she didnt have any feelings for him and that I trusted her. I know that she really cares about me and our relationship but not telling me about this is killing me. I would NEVER hang out secretly, or even openly, with exgirlfriends so I am having a hard time rationalizing this.
-
So I just finished making my girlfriend (of 'officially' a week...after dating for a couple months) a card for her birthday but have yet to sign it. How would you recommend going about this? love, sincerely, yours, always, ...??? Thanks in advance
-
Last night my girlfriend had planned on making me dinner but her car was being fixed and it took much longer than planned and so she had to cancel. I was slightly bummed. Anyway, when I got to work today, there was a string with a bunch of candies (my favorite ones) tied to it hanging on the office door. On each of the candies she wrote a letter that spelled out: T-H-U-R-S-D-A-Y-I-N-S-T-E-A-D-? also there was a handmade card attached. It may sound corny but I thought it was really nice and it made me smile and think about her all day.
-
Thanks to everyone for the comments. I must admit that the withdrawl method definitely works...with that, and the deep breathing combined, y'all should be golden. Also, if you can get your girl ontop...things should be smooth sailing...not only can you provide her with as much control as she needs, you can also stimulate her with your fingers (and if you're not up to par w/your fingering skills...she can/(will) do it herself! I've found that lying still works best to hold out longer...but a good thrust every once in a while is good cause it lets her know you're still alive and kickin'!! I haven't tried the music yet...but I'm sure it would be glorious. Best of luck to all.
-
The only instance where I can see being a problem is the legal drinking age...I can say this from experience as, when I was 20, I dated somebody who was 23. She was always going out drinking/dancing with her friends and I could never come along because I was underage. Ultimately this caused us to break-up...but this alone shouldn't dissuade you from asking her out. I seriously doubt that she will laugh in your face either. Best of luck. edit: I just read that you are from Europe. I'm not sure if my comment applies anymore. Either way, I say ask her out.
-
I finally found a previous post that is similar to my question so answers are no longer needed....but, if you've got something to say, by all means, post it! I need all the advice/help I can get...preferably before tonight!
-
I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now and we just started having sex the other night. I've always waited till I was in a relationship before having sex because I tend to think that the girl would be more forgiving of my sexual inadequecies (round 1 - cum too early, round 2 - cant cum at all and go limp, round 3 - cum too early...). Even though she has reassured me, I still feel like I am going to lose her if I cant get myself under control. I have tried those desensitizing condoms, which seem to work except that she says that they dry her out too much and she prefers all-natural. I don't stand a chance without a condom...especially when she gets close to orgasm (seeing her in pleasure sends me over the edge). Does anybody have any tips, positions or things I can do to hold out longer or make her cum sooner?
-
So I just started seeing this new girl a couple of weeks ago and we've been hanging out quite a bit (with mutual friends and dates). She is really shy but I know that she is interested in me because not only will she go out with me whenever I ask, but we've also stayed over at eachothers houses multliple times. So with that little bit of background info I am hoping that you all can let me know how much I should be calling her/asking her out? Usually I would call every few days only to make plans (I'm not too keen on phone conversations) and then maybe send a quick text message/email inbetween the phone calls...thing is, she doesnt have email or text messaging so I dont know if I should be calling instead or just contact her when I want to hang out. eg. I stayed over at her house on Wednesday night and normally I would send a text message/email the next day but since I couldn't, I didnt do anything and I havent talked to her since. Is this bad or acceptable?
-
Dating my friends roommate...awkward situations!
kalsman replied to kalsman's topic in Dating Advice
Thanks. I appreciate the advice, and that would probably work...except that sara never invites kate to come along...its always the other way around. Heres a perfect example of what happens!: Last week Kate and I had made plans to go out for drinks tonight...but she just called me and said that sara is now coming too! As much as I like both of them...I feel like I've gotta break the plans now. -
So the other night I was at this girl's house and when we were watching a movie she put my arm around her and cuddled up against me. I have to admit that it was real nice having her sitting that close to me. After the movie she looked up at me and just kissed me. It was a really sweet kiss that lead to a lot more but she made the initive and it was glorious. Also there is always a lot of playful touching between the two of us (pats on the butt, running your hands through eachothers hair (my personal favorite) or quick neck/hand massages. If hes into you...and it sounds like he is...he will appreciate your advances.
-
So me and this girl (kate) are really good friends. I recently hooked up with her roommate (sara) and we've been seeing eachother quite a bit, which is great...but since they are also best friends, we usually have this weird third wheel thing going on. I'm used to keeping girlfriends and friends relatively separate so I'm at a loss for what to do when kate invites me to do something and then she brings sara w/her...or the other typical situation where sara will invite me to their place but kate will always be there making things awkward. She'll say things like: 'i liked it better when you two weren't kissing', or 'stop flirting, you guys are making me sick!' or she'll do things like sit inbetween us on the couch when watching a movie or sleep over at my house after the 3 of us go out. Basically I dont know what to do...I really like hanging out with each of them seperatly but both together is a completely different situation. Any advice?
-
All I know about what she wants is second hand information. We haven't talked about our 'status.' But I completely understand what you are trying to say...if she really wanted me...she wouldn't have just gone to bed or she wouldn't have driven home the other night instead of coming over to my place. I learned a long time ago to not get attached after I 'loved and lost' so that isn't going to happen. I havent been in a committed relationship in 4 years now and I'm not particularly looking for a relationship...but I think I'm at a point where I wouldn't shy away from one if it presented itself. I'm moving out of state at the end of the summer anyway so at most, anything that happens between me and any girl will just be a summer fling.
-
Thanks for the input. I've decided that I'll let her make the next move/call. I'll stay good and busy. I've noticed from past relationships that I am usually far too available. Its just so difficult for me to turn down dinner and a movie with beautiful baby when I am sitting watching some lame-ass tv show with my roommate. Anybody else feel me on this one? I am not driving her down to her parents on Friday. Instead I am going wakeboarding and then to a party. I figure if she calls looking for something to do...I'll let her join me on the boat or at the party. Also, I've been thinking about what you said and its not like she hasnt done anything for me. She picks me up from the bars when I've had one too many drinks...she rents movies and invites me to watch them w/her...up until this past Friday, I hadnt spent any money on her...she gives me massages...last weekend she ditched her friends to spend the day w/me (even though we didnt have any plans)...she hangs out w/me even though shes got homework to do...she cleans her apt before I come over(I am a 'clean freak') I dont know...I could be reading into things because I dont want to accept the truth, but I'm not sure I am as doomed as you make it seem. Any thoughts?
-
so where do you take the game from here? you know you're being played...but the girl is hot...and you really are not sacrificing anything to be with her (still get to wakeboard, go to the gym, drink with the friends and go about things as you usually do its just that at night and on the weekends you have somebody different to watch movies and spend time with). should i just not talk to her anymore? tell her that i dont want to be her 'cuddle b***h' anymore? go about things as i have been with the realization that 'we' will never be? take what i can get and ride it out?...any suggestions?
-
hmm...thanks for putting everything in perspective. I hate to say it but you're right. oh well...live and learn.
-
I dont think so either...I went to visit her at work last night (...and cash in on a free icecream cone) and she was pretty flirty and didnt hesitate to stand really close to me and put my arm around her and kiss me. She practically invited herself over to my house but then when I finally gave in and asked her if she wanted to come over, she had to think about it and eventually decided not to come over (probably a good thing cause she wouldnt have made it over till 2am) because she had to drive an hour and a half to go to her parents house for an early dentist appointment this morning. Anyway, everything seem to be going pretty good between us and I dont want to complicate things/press things/seem too anxious by asking her where we stand. I decided that I'm going to try not to listen to what our friends are telling me she has been saying and go by good 'ol intuition. I do really like her though and would break it off with the other girl if there was a chance of us being 'exclusive.' I think this weekend will be good cause I am going on a camping trip with a bunch of friends and shes gotta work so this will be the first weekend in 3 weeks that we havent spent the whole weekend together. She did ask me to drive her to her parents house on Friday (our parents live in the same city and I am planning on driving down there anyway) but I am hesitant to have to meet her parents. So on one hand, I get to spend time with her...on the other, I get the awkward situation of standing in front of her parents without knowing what she has told them about me/us. Any advice or words of encouragement?
-
hmm...well it depends on where the theater is and what is available to walk to. If there is a sandwhich shop around or a place where you can get ice cream...or a dollar store where you can buy funny things...maybe a park you could get to...you get the picture. There are a number of things you could do before you get picked up. And the best way to go about it is to just surprise her. Take her hand when the movie is over and lead her to wherever you decide to go. Its the perfect excuse to grab her hand and take control of the date!
-
So I know that she isn't spending time with anybody else at the moment...but I am and I'm not sure if she knows this or not. Either way, you say that we could end up being 'friends w/benefits'...is this cause I am not aggressive enough? or the simple fact that she doesnt want a serious relationship and what we have now seems so playful? Also, I know that her Mom knows about me and she wants me to meet her so I took that as a good sign (shes telling other people about me).
-
So I posted the other day wondering if I should continue trying with this girl and with the encouragement from you some of you I took her out Friday night on our first 'date.' Dinner went well...she sat on the same side of the table as me and we had good conversation the whole time. After that we went to a laser light show (I know...I was skeptical too and thought it was actually a lame idea but I had remembered that she once said she really liked them so I surprised her). She loved the idea and was excited to go so that was good. We walked/ran hand-in hand through the rain to the show and laid on the floor when we got into the show. She put my arm around her and cuddled the whole show. After that we went back to her place and put in a movie but we both ended up falling asleep. After that we got in bed and started to fool around but were interrupted by her drunk roommate and all of her drunk friends. Talk about ruining the perfect night! Anyway, we went to sleep after they all left and in the morning she went to work and I ran some errands. Nice sweet kiss before she left. Fast forward to Sat. night. She called and asked what I was doing. I said I was going out with friends (which was the plan at the time) but we never ended up going out so when she called again, I decided that I would rather spend the night w/her than by myself. I went over to her house and we chilled for a bit w/ her roommate then went over to her roommates bf's house. Chilled there for a bit and then left when we were tired. Got back to her place and kissed for a bit (no frenchin') and went to bed cause she was 'too tired.' Woke up the next morning and went to the store for breakfast food. Made breakfast...looked at rental houses(shes moving) and basically lounged around all day cuddling. We parted ways w/ a light kiss Sunday afternoon. So now what do I do? Should I be waiting a certain amount of time before I call her again or should I go for it? Do I call to let her know that I had a good time, to see what shes been up to, or to hang out tonight? (keep this in mind too...she told our mutual friend that she really likes me but shes still not sure if she wants a boyfriend but does know that she doesnt want me seeing any other girls. so I dont want to move in too quickly)
-
Taking a walk afterwards sounds like a great idea to me but I say that instead of 'accidentally' touching her hand and seeing how she responds, just go for it and grab her hand. Be confident. If you don't have the guts, you can always offer your arm for her to grab onto. Also, if she says, "I'm cold," thats usually your cue to put your arm around her. Oh, and one more thing...I was always taught to walk on the side of danger (meaning that if you are walking down the sidewalk next to a busy road, you take the road side. or if you are walking down the sidewalk and there is a group of drunk knife-wielding hobos...you take the hobo side.) Its actually kind of a fun game to play. Anyway, good luck and be confident in whatever moves you make.
-
not sure if anybody cares but heres the recap of the night. picked her up went to dinner (my favorite pizza place)...conversation was always good. then hit up the U2 laser light show (i'd never been but i had remembered from sometime previous that she loved those things. she loved it. after that we went back to her house for a movie then climbed into bed for some good times but were almost immediately interrupted by her drunk roommate and about 8 of her drunk friends all of whom managed to barge into the room pulling the two of us out of bed with a barage of questions and brotherly threats. ahh...never a dull moment with this girl. all in all it was a good night though. thanks for the advice.
-
thanks for the tips guys...i think i will be checking back here/posting more often now.
-
So I'm takin her out on our first 'date' tonight. Thanks for the advice and encouragement. Any more pearls of wisdom?