Timbits

Sometimes I feel insecure about myself and during those times it's hard for me not to think what other people are thinking of me. Do you have any advice on how to fight that feeling? I seem to try and try and say to myself that it doesnt matter what other people are saying but often I my superficial conscience wins and I still feel insecure. I try to be objective in the things I do like for instance when I'm in an argument I want to be logical. But more often than not my emotions take over, my ears turn red (they really do acutally) and I end up kicking myself.

I felt and still feel the same way when it comes to relationships and making friends. The reason I get very attached, very fast to girls is because I'm not the type of guy that gets many chances. So when an opportunity fast-approaches, it's a rare event and I automatically focus on and over-analyze the circumstance I am suddenly put in. But this is unhealthy, the only way to get beyond these feelings is to apply the advice that everyone else has provided above. May I suggest reading a book called "The Magic of Thinking BIG" by David Schwartz. Go to the library or to a bookstore and read the first few pages, see if it clicks with you as it did with me. But as I said, it only works when you read AND apply the advice. Look for the book, it should give you a good start and inspire confidence in yourself to make your life more enjoyable.

Make sure this doesn't happen again. I've been in similar situations and have regretted not doing anything. It's hard the first time, but trust me it gets a lot easier the second and even more the third. That, and you won't kick yourself in the head wondering "what if this and that happened"

There's only one way to find out

Expression, watch the comedy network on tv. note down the jokes u find funny and use them on your date. If she finds them funny then you already know you have something in common .... the fact that both of you find the same thing funny. Write them down and practice them in the shower or whenever you can. They make good small talk pieces ... its better than boring questions like "so where do u go to school" and other boring school/work/family questions. In a nutshell, think of trvial, meaningless topics to talk about .. also known as small talk. It shows her that you arent treating the relationship as if it's a marriage-to-be... its not... its supposed to be good, light-hearted fun. If it helps, act like you're making a friend and not a wife out of her. Best of luck dude.

I phoned her again in hopes to secure a time and place for a first date but she was on her way out to the movies with her friends. So basically this is how the conversation went (as best as I remember) ... Me Whats cookin'? Her I'm going to the movies tonight. Me Cool, so when am I going see you again. or will that even happen! You know, I hate playing phone tag. I'm wasting my cell phone minutes every time I call you. Her heyyyy now, we'll go out soon, just not now. Call me tonight Me: C'mon, why dont you call me this time? Her: Okay Me: Ok well I gotta go do some things bye Her: Bye Based on that conversation, does it seem that she's even a little bit interested in getting together? I waited for her call until 2am but no call happened ... she came on msn at 2am so I figured she just got home. I hastily signed off as I had to get up early in the morning. Should I even bother calling her now or is it be best I wait for her to return the call she was supposed to last night? Help a bro out!

call him before its too late. Keep the conversation brief and say you gotta go pick up your sister from work or any excuse to end the conversation. Most importantly, give him your number .... tell him to call YOU tomorrow or on the weekend. See if he calls. Some girls are skeptical in giving out their number to strangers ... guys dont care who they give their number too. If you are interested in him, call him. just be sure not to hang up without giving your number so he has a chance to reciprocate. note: for the guys out there, if you feel that asking for her phone number is too much, try asking for her e-mail. Girls tend to give them out freely without being suspicious.

Wednesday: -I wrote her an email asking her to coffee Friday evening -her reply: since she wasnt going to day class, she recommended we go out during the day isntead. She attached her tel number and says to her 'some time' -I called her and she answered as if she had just woken up... said she wasnt feeling good. I say I'll call her tomorrow afternoon. We hang up. Thursday: -I phone her at 3pm to clarify Friday's date. She says shes still sick and asks me to calll her back at night in case she feels better -I phone her at night and she says cant go out Friday. Then something weird happened ... all of a sudden she says "so you just wanna go out and make out with me, huh?" to which I was momentarily stunned and at a loss for words. 2 seconds later, I Jokingly replied "I guess that's not going to happen anymore is it. hahah" We exchange faint laughter then she says to call her back on the weekend. OK... What day does "weekend" refer to? I dont want to call her on Saturday afternoon and discover she already has plans for that night. When should I offer to go out? I know ppl at usually busy saturday nights. That is why I am thinking of calling on Sunday since it's relatively safe...not as many ppl go out sunday night. Her previous reaction may be attributed to the fact I'm 6 yrs older than she is (I'm in college, she's still in high school). I suppose shes thinking that I'm pursuing her b/c shes young and easy? (is that a fair assumption to make? -i dunno) Any feedback as to when I should call or what day i suggest we go out is welcome. If she refuses me again, is it fair to say that I should stop pursuing her?

Just take it as a learning experience dude. Your happiness would be fleeting even if you continued to date her. The sooner your forget about her, the better. Dude, at least you are a little closer to finding what you truly want from a woman. I didn't know women can be so rude! I wonder what made her act that way. Nevertheless, best of luck in future romantic endeavours! Just be yourself and follow what your heart tells you.

boredguy: thats an excellent idea! I may actually consider going to a park for a walk or find a childrens playground ... the only problem is the sub-zero temperatures here in Toronto. maybe we can go to a mall and window shop? i'll try to think of some more creative ideas! prosper: ironically, we work for the same bookstore company, just different branches. Thats how I met her. A bookstore is the last place she'll probably want go on a date. Although that is a terrific idea!

The girl I asked out said she is available but only during Friday afternoon. Its pretty clear she already has plans for friday night, but at least she's giving me the opportunity to take her out. I've never been on a date , let alone a date during the day! (in fact this isnt really a date, were just going for coffee). I'll just get to the point, the time is set to be around 2-3pm and I have no idea if we should do something after we go for coffee. It's just taking her home at 4pm after a date seems odd. I would like to do something else other than coffee, if possible. anyone w/ any ideas as to what fun things we can do at that time of day? I was thinking seeing a movie (either after or before coffee) but the idea of watching it during the day seems strange. I guess the good thing is that if we go see a movie, the theatre wont be jam-packed. I thought it was only freaks who see movies mid-day? lol Thanks!

Yeah, sometimes guys feel that they shouldn't put girls on a pedestal because it is indicative of their neediness. He may just be playing cool. I think it relates to the fact that women find needy men unattractive. If thats truly the case, I am sure he will contact you soon, give it a couple days. Maybe he hasn't figured out how you truly feel about him? If he doesnt, then you can write him off and take the whole thing as a learning experience. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst.

There is a relatively safe way to go about asking her out. However, you need to be vigilant and keep an eye on her expressions/reactions to what you'll say. If she knows you by name, go up to her and begins a casual conversation ... "hi, how was your day so far? what clases do you have today" .... then ask her this "we should go for coffee sometime." Her reaction to this should give you a fairly good indication if shes interested. If she lights up ... smiles ... and asks you when .... then you have a good chance that she is interested and wants to go out. do u get it now? you didnt ask her .. u simply and subtly suggested going out for coffee. If, however, she pretends to ignore you're offer then there is a good chance she's taken or she's not interested. Be sure to watch if she smiles or not ok dude ... best of luck !

Why dont you go to the park and maybe fly a kite? That'd be fun I bet. Well, if after the first date you feel that both of you had genuine fun ... and you feel like a kiss would be warranted ... then I say go for it. If you truly feel that both of you enjoyed each other's company, there should be nothing stopping you too from smooching. Maybe not french style ... you know what I mean ... just normal kissing, or even quick kiss on the lips. But be sure that you had fun b/c you'd be impying that you like her and would like to see her again! If you feel that fun was only had by one person, then a kiss would not be warranted. In that case, maybe a hug, at best, would be appropriate.

Yesterday night I sent her an email saying "I hope you enjoyed the drawing...(small talk)... if you're ever up for a rip-roaring good time call me at this #." She hasn't called yet ... maybe its too soon to be worried. She and I work for the same bookstore company but at different branch locations. I was thinking of calling her store from my store today (since we are both working) to say hi and ask her shes doing. I think this is my final chance to establish a date Should I wait for her to call me since I left her my # in the email or should I call her today and get her number/set a date. I'm guessing it would make me seem needy if I did the contacting 2 days in a row.