YrsOfHurt

What might help us out too, is to fill us in on what tips you felt helped you and some history or background of what happened in your marriage and what you are working on to repair it. This might help us all understand and relate to you as well! Alot of us learn alot from others who post here. Thanks and welcome to the boards!

I know it is tough............ It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone -- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Remember that. We learn from everything that happens to us in our lives! Really.......... just remember the love you had for her and move on to other parts of your life that is waiting for you to experience!

You can leave if you have proof of fear of abuse. You can leave with her also. I am in IL, and talked to a lawyer recently. When he hits you, call the police, get the report filed and throw him in jail! You do not have to be hit. Once a police report and charges have been pressed against him, he can not really hold it over your head about you leaving with your daughter. Believe me, I have been there. PM me if you need more help in how to deal with this. You can also contact your local abuse shelters and they can advise you further on laws in your state. Good luck and stay safe.

No. For a girl to get pregnant, the sperm has to go through her vagina. The acid in the stomach kills sperm too, just so ya know!!

It sounds like #2 is more intriguing to you. She does things that you think are awesome and that you might have a great relationship with her. Looks aren't everything, it is how you get along with the person! Good luck!!

AwsomeDude, I was speaking from what guys have told me in past relationships.....so there! LOL

I am not a guy, but it depends on the guy. Some like blowjobs more often, almost daily, but others don't really care about just that, but the whole sex act. Only way to know, is to ask the guy.

Then it should be pretty simple to lose the married guy if that is truly what you want. Just tell him you can't see him anymore. It is hard, but do it!!

Well, it sounds like you want the married guy, but I have no idea why! He could cheat on you too.

Really, I think that the married guy should rethink his marriage. If he wants to stay or go. Why does he want to be with you and not his wife? As far as the guy in jail, maybe he is just stir crazy and trying to keep his mind off missing you. Maybe he has picked up on clues that you are cheating on him. Either way, you might be better off ditching each guy and starting fresh. It is hard to recover from a relationship of secrets and betrayal. You have that in both relationships with each guy.

I agree with Princess777, if you say you want to resolve it, and he tells you that he would just like to get it out of his head and call you back, he is respecting you by not pushing the problem onto you when you are the "innocent party" so to speak. He called you back and was fine until you brought it up again, which to him probably frustrates the heck out of him because you said you wanted to work it out and move on, but you can't let it go. Understand what I am saying?

I have a best friend who is a guy and says he would be willing to help me and my kids out. I am afraid if I move in there with him until I get on my feet, that it will look bad on me. Will it?

I have been hoping to save up enough money to move out so I can start over with my kids. He just keeps following me from room to room pestering me about not giving him a chance. I am scared to tell him to leave me alone, over and over as I have, but he just needs to let me be. He thinks that since I am there, that he has a chance to talk me out of it again. I don't want to do the shelter thing, but I just might have to. I know I can be strong, or I wouldn't have survived this as much as I have already.

Also, I really want to divorce him, but am scared to death of what he might do (especially taking the kids from me and trying to use them to get me to stop leaving him).

Ok, this will be sort of long, so bear with me please. I have been with my husband for almost 6 years, and married just a little over 4 years. We have two daughters, one 4 yrs and one 3 mos old. I also have two older children from a previous relationship whom are 12 yrs and 11 yrs old. (son and daughter). My husband treated me good in the beginning, but also kept me at a distance due to his previous marriage that ended horribly (with tragedy related to his 3 yr old son that I won't go into here). Now, I can understand why he can keep someone at a distance at first in our relationship, but to compare me to her when I am nothing like her, is unfair. (For one, I would never harm a child, unlike her) Also, he treats my two older children differently then our two children together. My husband started drinking very heavily after we got married. He would not call or not come home until the early morning hours, and when I would get upset about that, he would tell me he didn't need to "check in" with me. He wasn't there for me during either pregnancy. Now, I am not saying I didn't have any faults in the marriage, I know times I didn't leave him alone when I should have when he was drunk, but I felt no respect from him when he just couldn't even call to say that he wouldn't be home until late. At least I would know what was going on. In 2002, he went to jail for battery against me after he came home drunk and got physical with me. He told me after that I put him in jail that he should had killed me or put me in the hospital. I wanted to believe it was all about the alcohol and the guy who loved me was still inside him somewhere. Things started to go better after he was sentenced to probation for it, and he came back home and promised counseling for us to save our marriage. None of it happened. He kept continuing to push me away. I started to talk to a lawyer about divorce, then found out I was pregnant with our 3mo old daughter. My tubes were tied, so I considered her a sign that we were supposed to work things out. Crazy? I didn't know....just figured there was some reason she happened. He had nothing to do with me during the pregnancy and told me that he found me unattractive and gross. That hurt me so much. He continued to look at porn on the computer but couldnt look at me. For years of us being together, he had told me if I wasn't happy I could leave. Or that I was there only for our daughter not that he loved me. NOW, turn of events. I recently told him I was very unhappy after he asked me why I was unhappy. I told him everything that hurt me and how much I wished to be happy and I have thought of leaving but had no where to go. That night, he promised me everything under the sun (NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED) to get me to stay. Even told me he would sue me for custody of our girls. (He tells me this everytime I have said I wanted to leave or give up on the marriage). His quick fix for our problems is to just have us have sex. After I give in to sex, he always goes back to the mental abuse of telling me he doesn't love me, but swears this time it'll be different. HELP!! I don't know what to do. I push him away everytime he gropes me right now, trying to initiate sex with me and he is getting mad at me. I asked him to take it slow, give me space and that I might come around. He doesn't listen to that. Any advice of what I should do?