Pyralis

Just try to remember that guys are human beings too. There should be nothing to fear. (Unless you saw him on America's Most Wanted or he's an escaped mental patient or something. lol) We guys can get just as nervous when it comes to talking to women too. Believe me. Who knows, the guy that you are nervous about talking to could be just as nervous as you are. Just try to relax and have fun talking to him. You'll be fine.

I do have interests in cars and car and home audio and video. I also have an interest in computers and went to university to study computer science. I'm currently saving for a down payment on a new car so I have very little extra spending money to go around. Most of it goes into a savings account. I have some plans already to do some customizing to the car when I get it, nothing too crazy though. I'm a member on a web forum for a local custom car parts store. They have meets every once in a while, so maybe I'll attend a few of those in the future. Other than that I'm at a loss at the moment. Actually, yes. I was in a long distance cyber relationship that lasted about 3 months. It was her decision to back out of the relationship because she had too much going on in her life at the moment. It was the waiting that bothered her. We even had plans of meeting each other in person. I still consider her a close friend but I hardly hear from her anymore. It's been tough trying to let her go, but I find myself thinking of her almost every day. It's been about 3 weeks since she called it off and it's probably going to take a very long time to get over her. Actually, that does sound very nice. I don't know about it working too well, usually most people who go to a coffee shop go for the coffee, not to meet people, but then again I'm pretty clueless when it comes to social situations. lol. I guess I should give that a try one day. There is a place near me called Williams Coffee Pub. I've never been there before; maybe I'll try it out. Thank you for the suggestions Foolish and Ayekasong. Please keep them coming everyone. And don't forget, if you have questions, just ask.

Hello. It's been a while since I last posted on this forum, but I find myself in need of some advice and this forum was the first thing that came to mind, so here goes nothing… I think I'm in need of a change. I feel as if my personal life is going nowhere and I'm getting sick of it. Every day I come home from work and I end up staring at a TV, computer screen, or the same four walls until I go to bed and wake up the next day, only for the same pattern to repeat itself over and over again. I'm getting tired of this sad, lonely, pathetic existence that I've fallen into, and I want to do something to change it, but I don't even know where to start. All my life I was a social outcast. I was always the loner at school. The only friends that I have are from high school and I don't even get to see them anymore. One is working over-time every week and has no spare time to do anything, another moved to a city over 500 km away and the other I've lost contact with completely. Since I'm so underdeveloped socially compared to others my age I find it difficult to make friends easily. I just don't know what to do. I don't know where to start. Many of the people I work with have noticed how very depressed I've been and have suggested that I should get out more and have some fun. They have suggested that I should go to clubs and bars and such, but the thought of going to a crowded, loud bar or club scares me. I'm more of a quiet, hangout with friends kind of guy. I think that such an environment would make me uncomfortable. Since I feel as though I have no social skills, that would be like taking a kid who has never learned how to swim and tossing him into the deep end of the pool. I don't know. Does anyone here have any suggestions for me? Does anyone know of any good ways to get started to get out and meet people and have fun without "going off the deep end?" If there are any members on this forum who are from the Kitchener, Ontario area, or are familiar with it, feel free to make specific recommendations if you know of any good places. Also if you have any questions about me that you feel will make your response more helpful, or if you need me to elaborate on something, please feel free to ask. I really need to put an end to this daily misery; any help and/or suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so very much for having the patience to read through this long post and thanks in advance for your reply. Sincerely, Pyralis

I'm a quiet guy, but if someone I was interested in were to give me her number I definitely think that I would call. I wouldn't run to the nearest pay phone and dial it right away; I wouldn't want to look desperate. I think I'd probably wait until the next day. I wouldn't wait too long though. Maybe he's just nervous or maybe it's as simple as him losing your number. If he's comfortable with you and he's really interested he probably would have called by now.

Amen to that! I feel the same way too because I'm the shy and quiet type and I'm sure that I've missed out on many chances I may have otherwise had. I don't feel that driving myself nuts trying desperately to search out "The One" is for me. I'd like to keep a hold on my sanity. (or at least what I have left of it.) I do believe that a special someone will find you when you least expect it. I've recently found someone that I feel I really connect with just a few weeks ago. It just sort of happened out of the blue. So, as frail said, chin up, that special someone will come along some day.

Yeah, you're right. I was just kidding about that "picking up some of those 'jerk' traits" remark. I recently met someone online who likes me for the kind of person I am. I consider myself very lucky to have met her. Why mess with something that works, right? Besides, I don't like the idea of having to change who I am to get someone to like me. I see what you mean about how those articles have a comical bias. I didn't take them too seriously when I read them, but on the other hand I can definitely see the advantage of having some "bad boy" traits to get and hold a woman's attention. I still think that we "nice guys" tend to get over-looked way too often. I feel as if I lack that attention grabbing whatever-it-is to avoid always being put in the dreaded "he's a nice guy, but not boyfriend material" category. I dunno. I like who I am right now. The typical "nice guy." But I don't like the low success rate that comes with it. And as I said earlier, I don't like the idea of having to change myself to get someone to like me. Oh well. Quite the dilemma, huh? EDIT: Now that I've thought about it, that's just my low self-confidence speaking. To heck with changing myself. If someone doesn't like me for being me, fine. That'll be her loss, not mine.

What better way to thank you But with a heartfelt reply I don't consider myself a poet But I'll definitely give it a try You are my very special Sweetie For whom I deeply care Yet only two weeks ago I didn't even know that you were there I've never laid my eyes on you Nor have I ever heard your voice But every email or chat we've had Has been a cause to rejoice It sometimes hurts me to think Since we live so very far apart That we may never meet in person But you will always be in my heart But if it's in God's plan That one-day our lives should cross paths As when a Yin meets a Yang It will be the union of our two halves And should that day come I'll fall to my knees and I'll pray: Dear Lord, thank you so very much For sending one of your angels my way ============================================== You're such a wonderful person, trypanosoma. Please don't ever change.

RagingBull Good stuff, very informative articles. I think I am all too often seen as one of those "nice guy" doormats. Maybe what I need is to pick up some of those "jerk" traits. Not too much of course, just enough to strike that perfect balance.

Hey, I know how it feels to be overlooked for being the "nice guy." I too believe in the "nice guys finish last" phenomenon. I'm sure that you'll eventually meet a girl that will come to her senses and realize that you're the one for her. In the meantime take a moment to link removed. It was posted in another thread but I think it would definitely apply here. This article helped me to feel much better about myself, hopefully it'll do the same for you. There are nice girls out there who like nice guys, believe me. I've recently met a wonderful person through this site and we've been messaging and emailing each other for the past few days now. We live too far apart to meet in person, but she has reassured me that there are women out there that really do like "nice guys." They do exist, so don't give up.

Hey sparrow, Don't get all bent out of shape about it. We all have to start somewhere, right? I'm 23 years old and have never been on a date or had a first kiss yet. I try not to let it get me down because I think to myself that when I do finally meet that special someone it'll make that first kiss even more special. I know that you're nervous about your first kiss. Heck, I would be too. The only advice I can give would be to try to relax and enjoy the moment. Oh, and if he gives you a hard time or thinks less of you because of your lack of experience, (which he shouldn't if he truly cares for you,) then, as Lily04 said, he's not worth it.

Dude, I've been stuck at square one my whole life. Don't worry I'm sure you'll find someone new. Chin up!

I have AvPD, which I'm trying to overcome, so I think I qualify. I hope I can help. No, I wouldn't reject her. I always fear rejection, but I now how much it hurts to be rejected. I would never do that to her without giving her a chance. Sure, there is always that persistent fear that she won't like me, but since she approached me, I can take some comfort in knowing that she has shown some interest. No. I don't like playing games like that. I always fear that my shyness could be misinterpreted as lack of interest, but I would never intentionally pretend to not like her. I definitely think that I would be nervous and quiet at first. When I'm nervous talking to someone I tend to require a lot of prompting to keep the conversation going, but once I start getting more comfortable it tends to be less of a problem. I'm not really sure about the kinds of signals that I would send out. A lot of that stuff is sub-conscious, so you don't really notice yourself sending them at all. There have been some times though that I have caught myself doing things that I think could be seen as signals of interest. If you're just in the same room as him (not conversing): If you see a guy who can't keep his eyes off of you but as soon as you look at him he looks away or looks down to the floor, trust me, that's a sure fire sign that he likes you. He's just nervous. Go up and talk to him, you'll most definitely make his day, week, month, year, decade, etc… While conversing: If you give him a big smile and his face lights up and he gives a big smile back, bingo, he likes you. (I read about that one somewhere, but I've caught myself doing it too.) Hmmmm…… sorry, but I can't think of anything else right now. Like I said, these kinds of things are usually done sub-consciously.

First Crush: When I was in Grade 6 First Date: Never First Kiss: Never Lost Virginity: Never

Hey, jasminebose. I think we should move our conversation to Private Messages. I can't help but think that we're hijacking this thread by going so off topic.

Yeah, I don't think that would be one of my choices, but I do love pets. I have a 5-year-old Yorkshire terrier named Coco. He's a wonderful dog, very lovable and affectionate. I always call him "my little buddy," or as my Mom calls him, "my little brother." LOL! I sure hope not! The Pyralis username originated from online gaming. A few of my friends and I were playing a game called "Well of Souls" and my character specialized in fire spells. I wanted to find a suitable name for my character and found Pyralis, which is Greek and means "of fire." I liked the name so I stuck with it.

Hey, jasminebose! I don't see myself as a "saint 'nurse' type," but I do feel the protector side of my personality very often. Whenever I see someone being treated unfairly or being teased or tormented, I feel the need to intervene and put an end to it. For example where I work we have one female employee who is frequently pestered by another male employee who just loves being a pain in the butt. Every time I see him getting on her nerves it really gets to me and makes me want to tell him to get lost. So yeah, I definitely see myself as a "Protector Guardian," just a very shy and quiet one. P.S. I studied computer science in university, but I just haven't gotten out of the auto service job that I took as part-time in school. It's a secure, relatively easy job in uncertain times, and I really like most of the people I work with, with the exception of the pain in the butt ones.

I work in the automotive service industry. You?

ISFJ - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging link removed link removed Good test, I agree with its result.