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well, here is the story link removed and its a bit long so i didnt fancy saying it all out again. But the problem is..if i was to follow my heart i would of ended up being either strung along in the "circumstances" and a possibility of being heart broken later on and it would have been worse than if i was to leave now. So in the cirumstances, it was more wise of me to use my brain, and leave the relaitonship i have with the person...although it hurts too, and i dont want to..i know its the right thing as things will only get worse down the road. Plus nif anything did happen, how woulkd i know she wouldnt split with me to be with someone else? So ive followed my brain not mey heart due to cirumstances... hope that helps

Id say it depends on cirumstances, i speak from experience

Thank you cooldude, i just wanted to know if what i chose to do was the right thing, it doesnt feel like it because i still feel the way i do. But, itll be better for both of us in the future..everything happens for a reason.

Hi all, this might be quite long and skethcy but my brains a haze atm and id prob wake up tomorrow wishing i never done what i did...but i think its for the best. and im going to be as honest as i can be... Here we go; I met a girl on the internet through a forum like this one but instead was about something else (fish to be exact) and we started to get talking on msn. When talking to her i relised i was getting strong feelings for her, and i came to the point i knew i really liked her but she was in a relationship. So then came to the day that we met up, its the weirest feeeling but as soon as i saw her walk down the hallway towards me, i knew...that these feelings was real, all through the meet and when she was going home i relised i no longer liked her...but in fact in love As you can imagine how heart breaking it is to find someone you love yet its impossible to be with, at first i thought she didnt think of me no more than a friend...then she said she had feelings for me to, not as much...but i didnt really expect her to have any feelings at all...im not a good looking guy and i have very little self esteem so in a way i was shocked by this, yet i was more upset about the current situation. A couple of days went by and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend, for several reasons (to much to go into) and, i know wasnt the best time for me to tell her, and although i tried supporting her as much as i could i told her how i felt. I told her, that im not the best person to be giving advice (i was being honest with myself and for her) because i know id only be giving advice to make things worse between her and her b/f to make things better for myself....so at this point she said to me she was thinking of breaking up for good and entering a LDR with me. Then the thing i never wanted to hear came...she made up with her boyfriend, but...at this point although i felt sick i knew it was for the best. and I told her that i don't want to get in the way of anything happening, as im happy that things are going good for her, and her boyfriend..and if i stay around something might go wrong and not only will i be unhappy/happy, so will she and her boyfriend (i know there would be a time of seperation, and i hate seeing her sad). So i told her its best for me not to stay around, and that im going to try and have less contact to try and forget how i feel about her, and try and sort my life out, otherwise id just be upsetting myself about soemthing i couldnt have. but...as soon as i was about to go she told me that she cant think straight at the moment and there is a possiblilty of us in the near future...but she cant be sure because she cant think properly. So as you can imagine...at this point in time i was confuzed and baffled, yet i went with what i wanted to hear and i kept friends for a couple of days although my brain was exploding with questions that needed answering.. I needed to know if something was there....this was effecting my work, ive slipped dramatically in my work and have been in big trouble over it. I needed to know if she felt the same way as i did, i needed to know if there was defiantly a future, as i would of been hanging around with my life on hold for months apon months and then only hearing the bad news again of nothing is going to happen between us. and i know at that point i would have cracked...im a mess here and ive only been in the situation for almost 2 weeks and look how badly its effecting me...i know i would have gotten into a state of heavy depression if i stayed on..stayed on longer waiting for something that didnt exist that she could have told me in the first place. So i asked her...straight out, will anything happen between us beyond friendship in the near future, and instead of excuses or reasons...i just wanted a yes or a no, i wanted to put the ball in her court. and i got the final answer, of no.... I understand completely the reasons, and im happy that ive got an answer...i can finanly put all the things ive been thinking together... and carry on with my life, well im going to try, i wasnt very stable before (suffering from depression/suicidle) and now, i dont know how things are going to be.. but atleast i can see a clear future instead of wishing something that doesnt exist. So now, im going to try and keep no contact...or maybe lose all contact all together, and im afraid ive done the wrong thing in doing this.. i want to make her happy, and if the only way i can do that is let her be happy in her life with her boyfriend, i will do. Id happily sacrifice my happyniss for hers.. I just feel so sick now, i let my guard down...i let myself beleave in something that wasnt there or never did exist.. i imagined great things, i got carried away i guess...i thought things could happen, and i listend to myself..whcih i know im not going to do in the future.. im just scared i can never love again, ive lost trust in myself and so i cant trust other people. If your reading this Cole...i want you to know, that i dont want you to ever feel bad..none of this was ever your fault. Im sorry that i came into your life and i messed things up, im sorry for all the things ive said. and im sorry for falling love with you. If anything happens to me i want you to know that its not your fault, and i want you to know that im not avoiding you because im sulking or that im jealous...im doing it for me and you. Im doing it for you to get yourself sorted out and not to think about me, i want you to be happy and only someone special can do that, your boyfriend. Im doing it for me so i can try and hopefully forget, forget the pain that ive caused myself and to try and find a future for myself...i beleaved you was my future, yet..yet i was thinking blindly.. im sorry Cole, i really am...I guess i was right, i was expecting to much from life, from people and from you... im sorry, and i hope you can get on fien and forget about me. Im sorry (please dont come down to visit me, itll make things worse) Love Lee

i think you kinda have the right idea, but she isnt really looking for another relationship. I just want to stop feeling about her the way i do, because i know in the end im going to be the one that gwets hurt so its easier for me if i just stop being attracted to her.. is there anyway i can stop feeling the way i do about her?

Hi all, This is my problem.. I met this girl on the internet, i started to like her as in attracted to her. So then we decided to meet up, during seeing her for the first time, all through the meet and even when she was going, i know that i am no longer attracted to her, i think i erm....(cant think of the right word) kinda, (not in love) but not far from it. I know it sounds weird, but it was like at first sight and i cant stop thinking about her!!! But heres the problem...i need to stop thinking like this...FAST! because, well, if i cant be in a relationship with her, i would like to be friends.. Possibly something could happen between us, she does give compliments....but i dunno, no1 seems to be attracted to me so she cant be also shes in a relationship. sooooo how do i stop feeling like this?? she wants to meet up again soon, and so do i but i dont know if i can the way i feel about her as i might say summit stupid

lol....sorry couldnt resist it

hi, i didnt really know where to place this but here goes.. I work in an office and im still quite young (17) and most people in my office are older (40+) well... Im not sure why but i can only really concentrate on working for the first couple of hours of the day... then when it hits aorund 11am i lose all my motivation, im tired from working and i get bored, and then i get distracted easily. this results in almost the whole afternoon doing nothing just sneeking on the net and thiking about other things...and know im gradually slipping behind in my work because i just cant keep the motivation. Ive tried going to sleep earlier but that doesnt really help Does anyone know any tablets that can help me have energy through the day? or any tips to keep me motivatied, concentrated and full of energy? Its just that it seems the people in my office work constantly from 9-5.30 and heres me struggling to do my work after 11am Thank you

hey, metaljoe i need some advice. Im booking a holiday to go snowboarding and im unsure on where or what resort to go to. Im thinking of Austria and i need lessons and a place for beginers/intermediats that is a fair price (also i need to rent my equipment) Whats the best resort for this in Austria (or the world?!) and who should i book the holiday with (company?) thank you!!!!! (also, is snowboarding hard for beginers? will a week be long enough?)

kool where abouts? Edit: sorry i saw your profile, in essex...same as me

thanks for the advice people. thanks for the offer metaljoe, ive always wanted to go skieing or something but no1 in my family wants to, and since i used to skateboard i wouldnt mind trying snowboarding do you live in the UK?

ksk0_0 nope im not going college although this year iw as planning to go to night school for advanced computer management and programing. and someone mentioned about going snowboarding? well unfortunately there isnt no dry slop places enar me although when i start driving perhaps i can go to some, although its quite daunting going on my own but i am booking 2 holidays this year but as it seems ill be going on my own, although i was hoping to find someone to go with by now. Thanks for your advice guys (and gals) keep it commiN! thanks all

ok this is kinda an odd thing to talk about here goes. Well, it may sounds hard to beleave but i literally do not have any friends, (serisouly) in school i probably only had about 3, 1 went to spain and the other 2 went to college. But instead i went to work, and im still here now developing my carer. But this is the problem, since working i havnt kept in contact with them and vice versa. And either of them r really interested in persuing our friendship (so i have tried!) tbh i havent gone out of house to do anything for almost 18 months (its really depressing The only friends i do have that i talk regulary are the people that i have met on the internet. and ive met a few of them buy its impractical to do things because they live so far away. and im more worried if anything that im getting older (18 in about 6 months time) soon, all these people i know will be going their separate ways and ill be even more loneley and alone because i wont even have anyone to talk to over the net! i can see myself being one of these 30 year old men playing games with 15 year olds jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeze my life is screwed up, ive tried joining clubs and things but their is nothing around where i live that interests me. I dont really go out at all because im a shy person and very low self esteem. My dad is always moaning that i should go out and do stuff that "normal" people do like go down the pub with mates! and i cant see myself getting in any relationships because im never going to meet anyone ooooo poo any advice?

ive heard of a type of shampoo stuff called "regan" and im pretty sure u can get it at a cemist. i heard about this on the mens health forum so u might want to check their. be warned tho as i think its about £20? a bottle but it has had some good reuslts

ok it whent.....terible stupid blind dates NEVA EVA GO ON ONE i called her up and she said "sorry im with m8s, call me back in like 5 mins" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!! so i did call her back like 20 mins later and we chatted for like 10-15 mins and then i had to leave because i had to find out train times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok im probably taking this the wrong way but to me....it doesnt seem worth it

right, i have to hpone this girl to ask her out at 8.00pm. (my sister has set it up) do i call her dead on 8pm? and do i talk for a logn time or short (i was thinking short because i wont know what to say on da date!) heeeeeeeeeeelp

but i dont want to ask her to much otherwise i wont have nothing to ask her on the date

hi, My sister has set me up for a blind date and tonight she gave me her mobile number and im "expected" to phone ehr tomorrow. well tbh i dont want to because i have no idea what to say and i need to think of somewere to take her aswell.well i dunno what to say basically as i know its gonna go dead silent please can someone give me advice and what to say? thank you

to certain peopl (me ) rejection is painfull. when i was in school i pretty much fell in love (damit i still think about ehr now and that was like 2 years ago!) with a girl, and she was flirting with me big time but i was too blind to see it at the time and was too scared of rejection to make a move (specially if it would break our relationship as m8s back then) it turned out she did like me and i reackon we would done great together grrrrrrrr

i think in school years i think its because what other people think speiclaly if your rejected

hi all, my sister is setting me up with a blind date, which for some stupid reason i have accepted. My sister said she is V attractive so this in a way...has made me even more nervous. You see the problem is i am absoultly (PROFANITY DELETED BY MODERATOR) myself, lol coz this would be the first ever date EVER for me and i know im going to screw it up. I am incredably shy and i know the conversation is going to go terrible as im going to lock up after saying the usual "how are you, what are you into" questions and i KNOW it will just be one fo those silent conversations. The problem is not only am i shy, i havent really spoke to anyone my age for about 13 months (i left school, whent to work and for about a year i havent been out with mates once) so its hard to believe but i have.....forgotten what 17 year olds talk about so.....if anyone could give me some pointers as i dont want to talk about the wather or crap (ok ok, i work with old people!) pleeeeeeeeeeeeease advice needed Thank you! P.S where is the best place for this date? i dont want it too formal Thanks again

1) Still together after around 30+ years. 2) I personally think im ugly, ppl say im attractive, even people on this website! 3) I was bullied all through school, people calling me ugly, loser, pathetic Ect (list goes on) so after a while i think sub consiucly i am belieing this, this is what is making me nervous as i worry what people are thinking abuot me. Plus ive neva had a girlffrind but i have had loads of girls asking me out (in the past 2 months, 3 girls have asked me in the street for my mobile number ) But i want a stable relationship. I also dont go out clubs and things, like someone else mentioned..i want a relationship, not a fling

lol thanks adam, btw what happened?

yer sounds ok, thanks

Hiya I was in the swimming pool today with my older sister and a really attractive girl and her mum came in, i was like But i released it was nearing time to go and i look like a right idiot as sinsce i got longish hair it all goes flat over my head making me look like a pillick..well anyway back to the story Well i kept looking at this girl and she kept looking back kinda grinning i think, (not sure if ashe did think i looked stupid or liked me) well anyway, she must of been 17+ because it was aldults only swimming, im 17 and she looked about 17. But me being a right social misfit couldnt gather up the courage of what to say to her, so im praying that she will turn up next friday aswell.. this is the question...... if she does turn up what can i say to her? i was thinking on the way out (on last lenth) go over to her and say "hi, ive seen you around her twice and i would really like to get to know you, would we be able to meet up sometime or excahnge numbers?" or does that sound really pushy, i need advise, heLP!!! thank you