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Thread: He met someone else but wants to keep in touch with me. Will he ever come back ?

  1. #1
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    He met someone else but wants to keep in touch with me. Will he ever come back ?

    Hi everyone, I (23F) have a huge long distance crush. This guy (23M) lives far away. We met last summer, and hooked up once. We stayed in contact since all this time and we keeped flirting and sexting. I told him first I didnít want a committed relationship because I was dealing with personal problems at the time. We never had a chance to have a proper date and to get to know each other and to build something.
    We flirted all the last 3 weeks, and suddenly he blocked me on an app and apologized, telling me he just found a girl and had to be serious now. He said he wanted ę to keep in touch Ľ, that he would keep me informed, with a flirty tone. Now he ignores me a little throught social media, like I am a threat for his new girl. I feel a little heartbroken because I was used to talk to him and was excited to see him soon, but now it is over (for now).

    I think he likes me too, but went for someone physically and geographically closer to him. I feel like I missed my chance.
    I am afraid his new relationship will last for a long time, and I am going to move to his town in 3 months for work. I hoped we would have a chance to start something.
    Do you think he will call me back? Should I remain friendly to stay in touch with him or is there no chance to meet again in the future?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    If you want to test your true mettle, don't reach out to him and remain respectful of his relationship. I understand you are full jets roaring now over to his state and had your hopes up but you'll thank yourself for being respectful of others' relationships and showing to others that you respect yourself above all for not getting in the way of others' happiness. There's no reason to meet up with him. He's a crush, nothing more.

    Enjoy your time there for work but put this out of your mind. If he wants to catch up with you again, he has your number. If he finds out later that you were in his town for work and you didn't mention it, that's fine. You both can laugh about it another time and it'll give him something to think about and what type of woman you are. Move on and meet new people in the new town.

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    Thank you for replying. I wished him the best, to show respect. I understand he wants to go for a girl who lives closer. Yes, he is just a crush but sex was involved, and we have a good chemistry. I feel like Iíve been played, I am disappointed. Sure, I have always kept my options open. He knows I am going to move in his town soon, and in his texts it sounded like he plans to call me again.

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    He has a gf. This is all you need to know. Would you appreciate someone flirting with your bf?

    You never dated this guy, hooked up once. This is it. Time to move on.

    I hope you were not moving to his town for him?

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  6. #5
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    This is similar to the guy you posted about in 2017. Do you usually choose guys who are not interested in a relationship or are long distance? Another casual relationship which consisted of a lot of texting.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I agree with others. He's spoken for so let it be. He has a girlfriend so leave him alone. Don't bother him, don't reach out nor contact him.

    Don't hope for him. He's in a relationship so you need to move on with your life. Start anew. Don't look back nor at him anymore. He's history. He has a girlfriend so respect his new relationship with his new girlfriend even though you don't like it.

    Accept the situation for what it is and move on with your life without yearning for him. NC (no contact) permanently.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by JustMay
    I feel like Iíve been played, I am disappointed. Sure, I have always kept my options open. He knows I am going to move in his town soon, and in his texts it sounded like he plans to call me again.
    I get that it stings, but I don't see how you were played. It doesn't appear he made any sort of promise to commit to you, and with you being far away, local options were going to look more appealing and viable to him.

    It's anyone's guess as to whether you'll hear from him again, but for now, I would proceed as though you need to detach and move on from him.

  9. #8
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    He didnít play you. He kept his options open as did you.

    He met another option and now chooses to be with her. Removing you from being an option as he has made his choice.
    Therefore he is no longer an option for you.

    It would be foolish to keep in touch with him.

    You donít need to block him but you definitely should delete him from your social media.

    Good luck!

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Real in person relationships are much more satisfying than trying to turn a summer fling into anything. He knows this and so do you.

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    Hi, thank you for your answers. I just want to clarify something, maybe my message was not really clear.
    He was the one to initiate contact throught the year, everytime. We tried to see each other several times but because of some circumstances it didnít happen.
    He was the one to text / call me for the last two months, and texted me everyday last week.
    He is also the one to want to ę keep me Ľ and to ę keep in touch Ľ (his words) with flirty emojis, calling me by pet names. He really insisted on this, I would never interfer on someone elseís relationship.
    The way he talked to me about his new girl was not really positive, like ę well i met a girl Ľ, it doesnít look very serious.
    I do really like him, and we were supposed to spend some days in summer together.
    I donít move for him, I have to move for work but he didnít know, I just told him.
    So yes, casual fling, but every relationship has to start from somewhere, crush or little attraction. I would like to meet with him because of all this time we stayed in contact, I know he is attracted and interested in me. Thatís why I would hope for a chance to meet again and to give us a chance and neither does he.

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