Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 14 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 132

Thread: Argument about contraception

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,664
    Originally Posted by firelily
    Don't call me naive or talk to me in a condescending manner. How would I know for sure any of my future boyfriends or husbands is not with others?... He's not some hookup, but someone I know well by now and trust. Do you use condoms with every long-term boyfriend and husband as well, because you can't trust nobody? If you told your first boyfriend you're a virgin, did he ask you for a written statement of gynecologist because he didn't believe you? Do you use condoms with oral sex? Do they use condoms, but do oral sex to you skin to skin? You either get to know somebody (and use condoms during that time) or let in someone in your life as friend or more. If I'm dating someone for half a year, I want to know I'm safe and believe it. I definitely want to experience normal oral sex with someone I date for months.

    And he had an HIV test many months after being with that last girl.

    Why would I trust my future long term partners but not trust my current boyfriend? He's a painfully honest person and proved trust many times.

    Sorry but it's not your decision to make and not your call to call me naive here.
    It's your life. I think you are being very naive and irresponsible, but that is your choice.

    I suggest you go to a Planned Parenthood or somewhere you can get a better sex education.

    Good luck!

  2. #12
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Central Europe
    Posts
    395
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    And, don't ever rely on the pull-out method. I strongly advise that you get a better education on pregnancy and STDs.

    Find a nicer guy.
    I never used a pull out method, I used condoms and then pills.

  3. #13
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Central Europe
    Posts
    395
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    It's your life. I think you are being very naive and irresponsible, but that is your choice.

    Good luck!
    I think if you advise also every married woman to keep using a condom with her husband till the end of their lives in case they cheat, you're a bit out of your field. But thank you for concern.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,664
    Originally Posted by firelily
    I think if you advise also every married woman to keep using a condom with her husband till the end of their lives in case they cheat, you're a bit out of your field. But thank you for concern.
    This is not your husband, it is your sex buddy.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Central Europe
    Posts
    395
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    This is not your husband. It is your sex buddy.
    It's my friend and casual boyfriend with whom I spend hours of talking every day since March. I know who he is. While you may not really know me or my situation that well before implying stuff about irresponsibility.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,664
    Lastly, this great friend of yours does not sound like he has much respect for you. You have only known this guy since March. You have put so much trust into someone that you have known for 6 months. That's nuts!

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,664
    Do you have friends and a social life outside of this guy?

  9. #18
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Central Europe
    Posts
    395
    Gender
    Female
    Sure, I have a good friendship net with my girls.

    Holly, I'm grateful for you to take time to write to me. And I'm ok with the direction of the advice that you're trying to explore. It's just, maybe people who have been a long term members of Enotalone adapted a way of speaking that's partonizing, suspections before questions, and stamping boots in your life as if asking strangers for advice meant you're allowed to scold them like a child for whatever issue that you think it's worth mentioning. If you'd like to help, would it be ok for you to talk to me in a less accusatory or patronizing manner?

    I realize you don't know me but I'm a normal responsible person with good life decisions and good degree of reason and carefulness, who doesn't know where to take that particular relationship with a very trustworthy and wise but closed-off and cold guy. So I asked for some advice about it, and I'm grateful for thoughts on it. Just because I'm here this time as a person asking for advice, it doesn't mean I deserve scolding on whatever topic that comes to your mind :)

  10. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,664
    I'm not trying to, as it comes from a place of concern. I have lost two dear friends to AIDs, and it is difficult for me to see others, not protecting themselves as much as possible.

    You really don't know this man, and I think you are taking a lot of risks. He also did not sound very respectful in the confrontation with the birth control.

    I am curious why you do not want a relationship, but only casual?

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Age
    30
    Posts
    15,368
    Gender
    Female
    I agree that he spoke to you very cruelly. It sounds like he doesn't trust you to take the pill, maybe he's worried about you "trapping" him with a baby. Which I doubt you'd do but still. If he's worried, fine, but he needs to either keep using condoms or go get sterilized*. It is not right for him to hound you like a child.

    *I don't take sterilization lightly. I've had it done myself. But if he's that against having kids, either for good or for a very long length of time, it seems like a good idea for him to get it done. If he changes his mind, he can have it reversed or he can have spem extracted for IVF. Maybe he'd find it worth it.

Page 2 of 14 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •