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Thread: Am I Right to End This Relationship

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by jannijan
    Thanks goddess. I couldn't believe the cheek of it either. He's driving me to the doctors as if he cared but not care enough to say I Love You or it'll be alright. He said none of the things that you would expect of a partner. I felt like telling him that it was the so-called relationship that was causing a depression and the doctor couldn't sort that out. But I kept my mouth shut. Strangely, I'm not so depressed now I've made the decision. I've changed the sim on the phone, put his stuff in a bag and he can take it when he calls in. It's laughable how he can wonder how I'm confused when he obviously made a unilateral decision not to be in a partnership without telling the other person - me?! I'm better off without him.
    I'm so glad that you've gained clarity. You are definitely better off without him and you deserve better. Hopefully now you will get peace and happiness. xx

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by goddess
    I'm so glad that you've gained clarity. You are definitely better off without him and you deserve better. Hopefully now you will get peace and happiness. xx
    Thank you. I hope so too.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Re: "The problem isn't that snakes will cross your path, they will. The problem comes when you don't respect yourself enough to avoid picking up the snake to play with it."
    Originally Posted by jannijan
    Ouch. But you're right. Still, I'm throwing the snake away now.
    Awww, that's not intended as an 'oucher,' it's a suggestion to respect your instincts. Nobody 'looks' like a snake, so while your internal trust meter is set to a neutral 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, that's the perfect time to observe and notice whether you are inclined to invest more trust OR to withdraw trust and walk away.

    In addition to whatever else you considered shady about the guy, laying a comment on you about a ring when he hardly knows you was your signal to skip getting sucked into flattery and pass, instead.

  4. #34
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    Relationships can be very complex and go through different phases. And, I know you can grow weary during difficult or disengaged phases. I would suggest having a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. Surround yourself with people who will give you guidance. A relationship should be healthy and there should be goals and talks about the future of your relationship. It should not be toxic and going no where; with dwindling commitment. Sending love and hugs.

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Awww, that's not intended as an 'oucher,' it's a suggestion to respect your instincts. Nobody 'looks' like a snake, so while your internal trust meter is set to a neutral 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, that's the perfect time to observe and notice whether you are inclined to invest more trust OR to withdraw trust and walk away.

    In addition to whatever else you considered shady about the guy, laying a comment on you about a ring when he hardly knows you was your signal to skip getting sucked into flattery and pass, instead.
    I know catfeeder. I shouldn't have fallen for it although we had been going out for a few months before he came out with that and he went to a lot of trouble to catch my interest. The relationship has simply run its course and, sadly, it'll be easier now than it would have been months down the line. I said "ouch" because the truth hurts.

  7. #36
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    Originally Posted by trulycommitt
    Relationships can be very complex and go through different phases. And, I know you can grow weary during difficult or disengaged phases. I would suggest having a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. Surround yourself with people who will give you guidance. A relationship should be healthy and there should be goals and talks about the future of your relationship. It should not be toxic and going no where; with dwindling commitment. Sending love and hugs.
    Thanks for the reply. I'm not willing to face a heart to heart yet and don't think there's any point. He's said it all by saying we were both free agents. After two years, there's nothing to say to that and nothing to talk about. It's finished.

  8. #37
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    Just to update everyone. He was gaslighting me. I found the exact scenarios via Google. And now he's, true to gaslighting form, telling everyone I've thrown him out because I've lost my mind. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jannijan
    Just to update everyone. He was gaslighting me. I found the exact scenarios via Google. And now he's, true to gaslighting form, telling everyone I've thrown him out because I've lost my mind. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
    The people who know you also know the truth about you, and those who don't, really don't care. Whenever you hear of a couple's breakup, how long does it stay with you unless you are close enough to either person involved?

    You're right, good riddance, and head high.

  10. 06-30-2019, 03:59 AM

  11. #39
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    The people who know you also know the truth about you, and those who don't, really don't care. Whenever you hear of a couple's breakup, how long does it stay with you unless you are close enough to either person involved?

    You're right, good riddance, and head high.
    Thanks catfeeder. I just wish it didn't hurt so damn much.

  12. 06-30-2019, 05:43 AM
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  17. #40
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    I think people on this forum jump to the conclusion of its over when ever they hear some ones troubles (I doubt there in relationships) or the negative of the relationship. He sounds like he needs space and people's feelings change and people change, just because he wants to spend time with his friends and go away alone its not a bad thing but it is if you both have no plans and his only plans are with his mates ect. Actions speak louder than words.

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