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Thread: Need insight

  1. #1

    Need insight

    My long term boyfriend has a child from a woman he was never married to. She is a drug addict. She has tried to break us up multiple ways because they were basically roommates and she did not want to move out. She ended up bouncing from place to place and would threaten to run away with his child if he didn’t let her stay there. She slept on his sofa many times. She was involved with several men and became pregnant by one of them. She told everyone it was my boyfriends baby so she wouldn’t look bad. He didn’t want the baby in his house as it wasn’t his. Eventually he would take the baby in because she became even heavier into drugs. She is now in rehab with both children. My boyfriends child thinks my boyfriend is the father of both kids. I believe this will be hurtful to both children when the truth comes out eventually (as it always does). He gets angry about me feeling he shouldn’t keep up the charade. Am I wrong to think it’s not right for him (and her) to lie to both kids? It does affect our relationship because he wants me to go along with other the lie.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I'd tell him that I adore him and can picture the two of us together in the future, and that's why I'm walking away while we both still think highly of one another. He gets to resolve his old business and stabilize his life. If he's ever successful with that, he can let me know. If I'm still available then, we can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, I wish him the best.

    It makes no sense to involve yourself in someone else's family dramas. It's a lose/lose, because you can't control it, and you'll only be resented if you try. So skip that, move yourself to higher ground, and if he's ever capable of meeting you in that place, great. If not, you've extricated yourself from a lousy situation and you're open for a better relationship with someone who has his act together.

  3. #3
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    This guy has a ton of drama is his life. This isnt going to get any easier over the years. Personally, I might run.
    Is there any possibility that this isnt a charade, and the child is his?

  4. #4

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    This has to be really hard on you because it sounds like you really like this guy and he has a lot on his plate. There is a saying though that, "You have to look out for yourself", and I think you have to do that until things in his life get cleared up. His sons mama will unfortunately be in his life all his life and hopefully with her in rehab she is on the road to recovery and things will become much more stable with her in the future. As for tell the children about the truth of having two different dads, I wonder how old the both of they are? If they are really young I am not sure if they really need to know at the moment. If they are older sure they should be able to handle the truth. Regardless, this is something the your boyfriend and the mother has to decide and not you. You don't need to be involved in these dramas and until this all settles down I think you deserve to lead a more stable life.

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