nirm2009 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 I'm dating a girl and we seem to be hitting off pretty well. Except, we don't share the same sex drives. While I have a pretty high one, she says she doesn't even wanna go to a room until marriage. We didn't technically start the relationship yet. Will this work out eventually? If so how can I make it work coz I'd love to have her. Or will it be a mess? P.S.if it helps she's 19 & I'm 24. Is it her just being too young & scared & it'll pass? Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 If she wants to wait till marriage, you should respect that. Link to comment
DanZee Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Well, it's nothing to do with her sex drive. She doesn't want to have sex until marriage. There are still people who feel this way. For example, a lot of Christian and Muslim girls want to wait. Maybe you should fine someone else to date if that's top on your list. Link to comment
nirm2009 Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 It iss kinda on the top of my list that's the issue. If she would just want more over time I can patiently wait till then. Maybe I can gradually take her for movies and all those simple dates and build up a higher sexual attraction? And come to like a middle ground where she'd agree to have simple foreplay at least? Think that could happen over time? Coz it can just be coz she's so inexperienced. She's had a relationship before but she hasn't done any of the sort. Link to comment
Tinydance Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 If she actually has a low sex drive in general I don't think that will change. You can't actually change people, you just have to either accept them as they are or not date them. Also if she wants to wait until marriage then you shouldn't force her to have sex, that's not right. I know you like her but if you don't have the same values, it probably won't work. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 It iss kinda on the top of my list that's the issue. If she would just want more over time I can patiently wait till then. Maybe I can gradually take her for movies and all those simple dates and build up a higher sexual attraction? And come to like a middle ground where she'd agree to have simple foreplay at least? Think that could happen over time? Coz it can just be coz she's so inexperienced. She's had a relationship before but she hasn't done any of the sort. I don't understand why you are making all of these plans when the issue is .....she wants to wait untill marriage before having sex ...She might be hot to trot once there is a ring on her finger but her wishes are ..she waits for marriage . You seem to be missing this hugely and all these plans trying to engage in anything is a waste of time .....you asked Coz it can just be coz she's so inexperienced ...no mate ...she wants to wait untill marriage , you wrote that yourself and you need to accept it . Link to comment
Jibralta Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 The issue is not her sex drive or her level of sexual attraction towards you. It's that she wants to wait until marriage. If you can't respect her values, leave her alone. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 She doesn't lack a sex drive. She's not just "young and scared". She is sticking to her morals and ethics. If you want sex, she's not who you should be dating. Date someone who isn't a virgin and who'll have sex easily and right away. Get on tinder and look for those who are willing to hookup. she says she doesn't even wanna go to a room until marriage. Link to comment
Jellybean9 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 It has absolutely nothing to do with her sex drive what so ever. She has just decided she wants to wait till marriage that's all. It had nothing to do with her being "young". It's her decision and morals that she wants to wait till marriage that's all. If this something you do not see for yourself then the kindest thing would be to walk away now. I had a friend who met a girl. He was very sexually experienced and she wanted to wait till marriage. As he saw her being the "one". He waited and they ended up married. If you don't see that then please let this girl go so she can find a man like that. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 OP, building attraction or her sex drive is not the issue. Her belief about waiting to marriage is. Would she change her mind about that? Possibly, but no guarantee. If your beliefs don't line up with hers, then trying to date her is not a great idea. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 You're entitled to decide what's most important to you, you're just not entitled to impose your priorities on someone else. So if sex is most important to you, respect this woman's limits and free her to go find someone who's values match hers. Then you're free to go find someone who wants to be sexually active with you. Don't be "that guy" who tries to manipulate sex from someone who doesn't want to have it. That's the perfect way to end up a resentful baby-daddy. Link to comment
nirm2009 Posted July 19, 2019 Author Share Posted July 19, 2019 Update Thanks for all the help guys. Being with me for more than half a year now she's opened up a hell of a lot. She most probably won't have sex until marriage I'm willing to accept that. She doesn't even wanna get fully undressed when with me. Conservative like that :) But pretty much everything else she does now. Prettyy happily NOT forcefully. Earlier it was just her conservative mind telling her not to show that side of hers to me. Link to comment
loyal Posted July 19, 2019 Share Posted July 19, 2019 I'm dating a girl and we seem to be hitting off pretty well. Except, we don't share the same sex drives. While I have a pretty high one, she says she doesn't even wanna go to a room until marriage. We didn't technically start the relationship yet. Will this work out eventually? If so how can I make it work coz I'd love to have her. Or will it be a mess? P.S.if it helps she's 19 & I'm 24. Is it her just being too young & scared & it'll pass? You are not even in a relationship yet! Goodness! And she has a certain set of values...which is perfectly fine! Who knows...she might end up being dynamite in bed...for her husband! But clearly she wants to save that for him. It's not her being too young or scared; it's her being confident in her belief system and knowing she doesn't need to sleep with someone until the time is right. Props to her! Link to comment
loyal Posted July 19, 2019 Share Posted July 19, 2019 Update Thanks for all the help guys. Being with me for more than half a year now she's opened up a hell of a lot. She most probably won't have sex until marriage I'm willing to accept that. She doesn't even wanna get fully undressed when with me. Conservative like that :) But pretty much everything else she does now. Prettyy happily NOT forcefully. Earlier it was just her conservative mind telling her not to show that side of hers to me. It sounds like you might be hoping that she eventually gives in. For her sake, I sincerely hope she DOES NOT! DO NOT pressure her! And you are willing to accept that? What?!? You HAVE to accept that. She is not necessarily conservative, she just knows her value. Sounds like you don't. Link to comment
LuvsLuv Posted August 9, 2019 Share Posted August 9, 2019 It iss kinda on the top of my list that's the issue. If she would just want more over time I can patiently wait till then. Maybe I can gradually take her for movies and all those simple dates and build up a higher sexual attraction? And come to like a middle ground where she'd agree to have simple foreplay at least? Think that could happen over time? Coz it can just be coz she's so inexperienced. She's had a relationship before but she hasn't done any of the sort. Trying to come up with ways to get around her boundaries and decision she's already made for herself is asking for trouble on your part. You don't want to push her too far and end up being accused of sexual assault. If you want a partner who is also willing to be sexually active with you, I think you should look elsewhere if you can't be celibate too, or get married soon if that's what both of you want to do, but not just for the sexual aspect. Link to comment
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