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Everything posted by loyal

  1. First...don't let a man take advantage of you like that! If you don't want him to touch you or take things farther, then STOP. He will survive. Second, it kind of sounds like you have already made this situation into a relationship. I can pretty much guarantee that he has not. Chances are he considers you a hookup--a sure thing. He doesn't see you as a friend or as a relationship. He sees you as someone who will do whatever he wants. Don't let yourself be in this position. Don't get taken advantage of!
  2. You bought her daughter a car? No wonder she wants to hang out with you! What does your girlfriend think of all of this?
  3. I think that right now, you shouldn't worry about meeting someone new. This is a good time to learn how your life will be as a divorced man with an 8 month old. Get into your new routine and let it play out for a while. THEN you can think about meeting a new person. But get yourself in a good place first.
  4. It didn't work the first time. It is probably more a sign of comfort with you than anything else.
  5. It's awesome that you can do this for your child. Just remember that you two tried to have a relationship and things didn't end well. If she is in another relationship, you need to respect that and give her that space. But I totally agree that you and she can and should be friends for the sake of your child.
  6. If you want to love and be loved, you need to stop having these only-physical relationships. You've been meeting up with men who are already in relationships. Would you want someone to do that with your boyfriend? It kind of sounds like you need to take a break from sleeping with people and figure out what exactly is going on with YOU. Nobody want to buy a cow that gives its milk away freely.
  7. THIS. If these types of things are bothering you, you are NOT READY for a serious relationship. Yes, he is being a dumb teenaged boy. And you are being a typical teenaged girl.
  8. Well, you're 15. So there's that. Focus on school and friendships. He is acting like a normals 15 year old. You should too.
  9. You are SO not ready ready to live with him. You need to get yourself in a better place mentally. Anxiety is extremely hard to deal with--especially for people who don't have it. Things will not get better--only worse. You are not mentally stable enough to live with him right now.
  10. Unless you and your wife have some sort of agreement, stop sleeping around. You are married. And your wife told you that your affairs make her sad. Perhaps this is why there is no intimacy? COuld it be that your wife doesn't want to sleep with someone who is also sleeping with other people? Why do you keep doing that to her?
  11. You basically told her "I know I was a jerk, but you can still come around me and like my social media posts." What? She dumped YOU. Let her be.
  12. So you are not even talking in person? She is doing this purposely to get to you. Unfriend her. And quite contacting her.
  13. If your children have activities, then no, you don't attend. Your sisters will get over it. I also have two sisters. When they started having children, I often felt guilty for missing birthdays. And sometimes, they contributed to that. And then I remembered that I have my own life and I stopped feeling guilty. And they no longer held that power.
  14. This is a golden comment. I love it so much!
  15. Pump the breaks. A LOT. You are in college. You are both still growing as people and have a lot of maturing to do. He wanted to hang out with his buddies because that is what college guys do. You didn't break his heart. Your heart might be hurting because he didn't prioritize you like you wanted him to. But there's nothing you can do about that.
  16. Did you get pregnant on purpose? Was is sort of an ultimatum for him?
  17. What is the question she keeps asking you and ignoring your reply?
  18. Fear. She's afraid of being alone. This is part of the reason she has such close friendships.
  19. She is aware. He told her that both of these stemmed from his PTSD (which he will not get help for).
  20. It has been a while. And I know part of her is scared of being alone. I just worry that she is settling for something that is only going to get worse.
  21. My main concern is that he will start to become physically abusive. He is already isolating her from her friends.
  22. I think my friend's BF is abusive. But this could definitely be a result of subjectivity. I need some additional perspective. I don't want to say anything to her if it is not truly warranted. My friend met her BF online. She was instantly attracted to him. They are really from two different worlds: she is very family-oriented, but he never sees his family; she has an MBA, but he barely graduated high school; she has a very solid, good job and zero debt; he goes between jobs and is drowning in debt. A few months into their relationship, she started joking around--saying "he might as well just move in already; he is always at my house." A few weeks later, he had "officially" moved in (and by that, I mean that he told her he did not renew his lease and was going to move his things in to her house). He has two ex-wives. And two domestic violence charges. He has a son that he sees once every three months or so (because it is easier to just not mess with his mother). She had a party at her house and he became black-out drunk, starting crying and hid in the bedroom so long that she had to disappear from her own party and convince him that he was not an awful person. Here is where I have a hard time: my friend is extremely social. She normally has social activities every day of the week, is always with her friends, travels a lot, and is always up for an adventure. She is a great friend. Lately, she is not available. She misses social activities with her good friends because he thinks she is gone too much. A few weeks ago, we took a girls' trip and he refused to talk to her because he said that she was purposely abandoning him and that she never spends any time with him and he feels like she is always choosing other things. She excuses this as him being unconfident. Twice in the past month she has simply not shown up for stuff. And last night, she canceled something that we had planned for this weekend. Her birthday is this week. He asked her to cancel her plans for Saturday. He said "are you ever going to let me do anything for you?" He served in the military and suffers from PTSD. He refuses to seek help for this. But he pities himself nonstop and will tell her how awful he feels all the time and that she never helps him with anything. He pays for nothing. Nothing. No help with her mortgage, no bills. She pays for everything. I think he pays his car payment, but that it is. She takes him on trips. At the party where he hid in the bedroom, he also groped another of our friends. He often gets very loud and will argue with anything that anyone says. Instead of listening, he literally says "you are wrong. you are wrong." His arrogance is incredible. Several of her friends refuse to be around him. I need advice: do you think I am reading too much into this because she is in a new situation and is finding herself committing to a new person instead of her friends? do you think that he could be actually abusive? should I say anything about my concerns to her?
  23. At 15, you shouldn't be worried about relationships. Just have fun and enjoy your carefree years. You are a child. Be one.
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