Ex boyfriend had a baby with his girlfriend and it hurts like hell

So before a couple of days ago I would have told you that I'm completely over my ex. I don't really think about him much only in passing somtimes. I havent even talked to him in over a year. I stayed full no contact and i never looked at his social media and i never had any updates about his life. He was a complete mystery to me.

When he broke up with me he had a hard time letting go and kept trying to keep me in his life for months after the break up. Saying he loves me but wasnt ready for a relationship and all that nonsense. I decided to cut contact completly when he started seeing a new girl. While he first started seeing her he was still texting me all the time and being flirty and i decided i wasnt going to get strung along like that. He completly broke my heart.

I told myself that he was a commitment phobe/player and i tought it wouldnt last long with this new girl anyway because he was just going to do the same thing. Fast forward to now. My curiousty got the better of me the other day and i decided it was okay to have a look at what he was up to because i tought it wouldnt effect me. (Because i was over him).

But it did. His girlfriend had a baby. Her insta is full of pictures of them both looking so inlove. It was full of soppy posts and she constanly posts gifts he got her. Then theres lots of pictures of him with the baby and i know what a great dad hes going to be. They're the picture of happiness and it really stung. She got pregnant when they were only together for 4 months and according to her it was planned.

I can't stop thinking about how well he used to treat me and wondering what our life wouldve been together. Why didnt he want to take it further with me? What did he see in her that he didnt in me? These are the questions that have been running through my mind the past couple of days. I had myself convinced he was the bad guy for so long and now i cant stop blaming myself. Why did i have to be curious? Ever since i looked him up its like all the pain from the break up has come back and im devestated. This has also brought up another issue ... its made me realize im not inlove with my boyfriend.

One of my caregivers said to me recently "You think you're ok because you're better than you were...but you're really not".

Those words were truth as I threw myself back into the fire once again thinking I could handle it....

I hope you bounce back from this quickly...may your post serve as a warning to others*

Many Regards

Carus*

Sorry to hear this, it usually stings when an ex has a milestone like marriage kids, etc. However you have been unhappy with your bf for quite a while, was he a rebound? Perhaps this is what you needed to see to realize it's really over and now you can start dating better guys, who are not just "filler".

11-29-2017: The day I saw he was in a relationship I hit rock bottom and decided enough was enough. I still wanna know about my ex I want to check his social media and see is he with that girl. Sometimes I fantasise about cheating on my boyfriend with him.

I've been with my boyfriend a year now and admit he was a rebound. But i love him... but its more like hes my bestfriend hes the one i tell everything to and somtimes my only friend. We have fights but most of the time we get on really well and are always laughing ect. But thats it im comfortable. I dont feel inlove with him i feel attached to him. Ive always felt somthing was missing and a couple of times i tried to break up him but he fought so hard to get me back and i always gave in cause i missed him but to be honest i feel traped in the situation

Well, keep in mind that people don't post unhappy pictures on Instagram. You don't see pictures of people yelling and screaming at each other. And think about it, who plans a baby after only 4 months? I don't think your ex and his girlfriend are living in paradise.

And as for your present boyfriend, the guy's a jerk. He's using you and he doesn't deserve you. I hope you didn't take him back after last weekend's incident.

Thats what i was thinking it seems crazy to plan a baby after 4 months.

I've been with my boyfriend a year now and admit he was a rebound. But i love him... but its more like hes my bestfriend hes the one i tell everything to and somtimes my only friend. We have fights but most of the time we get on really well and are always laughing ect. But thats it im comfortable. I dont feel inlove with him i feel attached to him. Ive always felt something was missing and a couple of times i tried to break up him but he fought so hard to get me back and i always gave in cause i missed him but to be honest i feel traped in the situation

This is not fair to your bf, and is really selfish on your part. Let him go.

I'm sorry, to say this, but you weren't the one for him. Once you accept this, you will let go.

Dump the current guy, and get out and date others.

You posted the other day. Your current bf is a complete azz. I thought you were going to end it?

By any chance are you "afraid to be alone"?

Yes I am afraid to be alone i hate to admit it but i am. My social life isnt great at the moment I've lost contact with old friends. Some have them moved away and others moved on with their life have kids ect. I dont make any friends in work because I do agency work. I'm a nurse and i work in different hospitals/wards everyday so i dont get to know people well enough to have a friendships. I do feel really lonley.

What terrible things do you think will happen if you're "alone"?

I am technically "alone" (no boyfriend or husband) and I had moved to a city where I knew exactly two people. I had to make friends, so I did. It started with suggesting to a coworker that we have lunch together. Then gradually I met more and more people. I now have friends and an active social life.

You don't have to convince yourself that a boyfriend you aren't really all that into is better than being "alone". It's up to you to make changes that make your life more fulfilling.

Yes I am afraid to be alone i hate to admit it but i am. My social life isnt great at the moment I've lost contact with old friends. Some have them moved away and others moved on with their life have kids ect. I dont make any friends in work because I do agency work. I'm a nurse and i work in different hospitals/wards everyday so i dont get to know people well enough to have a friendships. I do feel really lonley.

No better time than to get out there and make some changes. Do you really want to continue with this idiot, because your social life is lacking? I would rather stay home and do nothing than put up with his disrespect.

Join Meetups, take classes that interest you, try a hiking club or dance class, etc..... I met a ton of people through volunteering. You are responsible for your own happiness, stop relying on your bfs to provide it, or you will be forever miserable.

And you have a dog or dogs...correct? Take them to a dog park, join a dog owner's group, take them on hikes with you. Dogs are great ice breakers for making friends.

And I presume, as a nurse, there are professional groups you can join.

You don't have to choose to isolate yourself with a guy who likes to sit on his butt watching TV. Get out there!

Dont check on what he's doing or not doing anymore. That is just tormenting yourself.